Author's note: Sorry, it took so long to write my next story. The past two years have been unbelieveably hectic, including moving to two different states. I do NOT own "Where on Earth is Carmen Sandiego?" or any of its characters. Deric, however, is mine. Prairie Oysters are, in fact, an actual drink. There are numerous ways of making one. Rating is for language and adult situations (wow, I sound like that voiceover guy on HBO be fore the XXX stuff comes on)...
Chapter 1: The Day After
BEEEP... BEEEP... BEEEP... BEEEP... BEEEP... BEEeee...
Deric growled in annoyance as he pounded the snooze button. Groggily opening one eye, he peered at the alarm clock; it read "8:00 AM.". 'Screw that,' he thought before he closed his eye and went back to sleep. Ten minutes later, the alarm went off again. As Deric was reaching up to hit the snooze button again, another, more slender, arm reached over him and hit the snooze instead. Then, the owner of said arm snuggled a little closer and let out a contented purr before resuming their sleep.
Deric's eyes immediately snapped and he was wide awake. However, he was greeted by a blinding, throbbing pain in his temples and a sudden wave of nausea. Shutting his eyes to try and block out the pain, Deric reached down to scratch an itch on his leg. It was at this point that he noticed he was completely naked. 'Oh, great googly-moogly...' he thought. His focus was shifted when he heard the purr of the woman in the bed next to him. Opening his eyes, he noticed a bracelet on the wrist of the woman next to him; it was a familiar bracelet. The realization of who was possibly next to him and the implications of his current state of undress caused all the color to drain from his face. 'Oh God, please let it NOT be her...' he prayed as his turned his head from the right to the left. Unfortunately, the fates seemed to mock Deric as he gazed upon the contentedly sleeping face of Ivy Darren. The gravity of the situation hit Deric hard; he had a major hangover, which meant that he must have had a helluva lot to drink the night before. Considering how they both were in bed together, Deric surmised that Ivy must have done the same. Two things went through his head at that moment:
'Did I really sleep with Ivy last night?' An obviously stupid rhetorical question, but with his brain not at full capacity, it was the best he could come up with. And the best response he could come up with...
"Oh, crap..."
Unfortunately, this had another, unwanted effect. It woke up Ivy. She had a sleepy, glowing smile on her face which melted Deric's heart. 'She probably thinks she's still dreaming,' he thought as he looked into those beautiful green eyes. "Um, good morning, Ivy," he said, not sure if what he was doing was the right thing. She smiled at him dreamily. Deric sighed and closed his eyes to think. "You're not dreaming, Ivy." She blinked twice, finally fully awake, took stock of her situation. When she realized where she was and how she was dressed, or not dressed, she did what any woman would do in her situation.
She screamed.
In the scramble that ensued, both fell off of the bed. Deric's ears were killing him because of the hangover and his head felt like his truck landed on it. From the groans of pain he heard from the other side, Deric could tell Ivy was starting to feel the effects of a hangover as well. Fighting the urge to vomit, Deric sat up and grabbed a pillow to cover himself. He could see Ivy kneeling on the other side, one hand cradling her forehead, the other holding the bed-sheet to her chest in an attempt to cover herself.
"Rough night, Red?" Deric asked, rubbing his eyes, trying to deal with the effects of his hangover. He heard a muffled reply. Ivy was currently face-down on the edge of the bed with her arms covering her head. "Sorry, could you repeat that? I don't really speak mattress." He tried to smirk, but it hurt his head too much.
Ivy lifted her head to glare at Deric through pained, bloodshot eyes. "I said, 'Kiss my ass, Deric,'" she answered, putting her face in her hands. "What the hell are you doing in my bed and what the hell happened last night?"
"Well...," Deric answered, trying not to smile too much as it made his head hurt, "I was sleeping in your bed until the alarm clock woke me up. As to what happened last night… considering we're both suffering from a massive hangover," Deric spotted an empty bottle on the floor, "and this empty bottle of what looks like tequila," he grabbed the bottle and held it up for Ivy to see, "I'd say we both royally tied one on last night." Gesturing to the bed, he said, "and given our current lack of clothes, I think it's kinda obvious what happened after that." Deric had a worried look on his faced which he was pretty sure matched Ivy's. "What do you remember from last night?" he asked.
"Not much," she said, finally raising her head from her hands, "I remember us going to some little restaurant near the hotel, dancing on the dance floor and then... this. You?"
"About as much as you do." Deric said, rubbing the bridge of his nose. "So, what do we do now?"
"Well, we know at what point our memories go blank, so..."
"We head back to the restaurant and see if we can re-trace our steps."
"That's the best idea I can come up with right now," Ivy admitted, with a pained smile. "Listen, Deric..." she began, suddenly very serious.
"Yeah?"
"Do you think we could keep this" she gestured in a circle around the bedroom, "between us?"
"Actually," Deric replied, "I was going to recommend the same thing. The rumor mill at ACME was working overtime anyway once they found out the cover story you and I were using for this case. I think it would be for the best." Glancing around, he said, "Anyway, nobody's around, who's gonna know..." As the words came out of Deric's mouth a purple screen appeared out of nowhere with the Chief's face on it.
"Good Morning, Ivy," he said, "Listen, have you seen Deric? He's not in his... HOLY FLESHTONES!!" The Chief finally noticed where Deric had gone. Spinning his floating head around, he stammered, "S-s-sorry. Didn't mean to barge in like that..."
"So much for no one knowing..." Ivy sighed. She flashed a look at Deric, who gave a 'how was I supposed to know' look in return. Mustering up what was left of her dignity, Ivy said, "I'm sorry, Chief. You were saying..."
"I was just letting you know what time your flight is tomorrow." They were scheduled for a mid-morning flight and were due back in San Francisco around noon. With that, the Chief, completely red from embarassment, dissapeared. Once he was gone, both Deric and Ivy groaned.
"'Who's gonna know,' huh?" Ivy said, glaring at Deric before running her hands through her hair in frustration. "No wonder they call you 'Calamity' back at ACME. Trouble follows you like a goddamn puppy."
"For one," Deric held up a finger, "I was Calamity long before ACME..." Ivy gave him a accusatory look. "Hey, how was I supposed to know?" Another look. "Hey, I could say my shower wasn't working and asked to use yours?"
"Um..." Ivy said, pondering it for a second before looking at Deric like he was the dumbest person on Earth, "you do know that's the stupidest idea I've ever heard, right?"
"Hangover..." Deric snapped, pointing at his temple. After grumbling for a few seconds, he grabbed another pillow off the bed and said, "Screw this." Standing up with one hand holding a pillow over his groin and another covering his rear end, Deric made his way towards the door to the suite's common area.
"Where're you going?" Ivy asked, shielding her gaze.
"To my room," Deric peeked back into the room. "to shower, change, and have an oyster."
"Why seafood? Does it help with a hangover?"
"This oyster does." Deric said, with a knowing smile. "I have enough for two, if you want one." Ivy nodded as vigorously as she could without causing herself pain. Deric went away again for a second. "Oh, by the way" he said, peeking his head back in from outside the room, "I think this is yours." Something pink flashed into the room and landed on the floor with a 'plop;' it was her bra. "The rest of your stuff is by the door, and it's all soaked. Same with all my stuff. I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it either rained or we both fell into the hotel swimming pool." Ivy could hear him snickering all the way back to his room. Ivy wrapped the sheet around her and went to get the rest of her clothes from outside her door.
- - - - - -
After showering, Ivy felt a little better but still had a hangover. Putting on a clean t-shirt, underwear, and basketball shorts, she padded into the common area. When she made it to the kitchen area, Deric was dressed in similar shorts and a grey "Notre Dame" sleeveless t-shirt. He was opening up a pack of eggs, taking two out, when she sat down. Confused, she asked "Where are the oysters?" All she saw in front of her were two glasses, a bottle of the room service's hot sauce, a shot glass, salt and pepper shakers, and the eggs.
Deric had a confused look before realizing what Ivy meant. "Oh, you thought I meant actual oysters?" Ivy nodded. " Oh no, no, no, no..." Deirc said, going into the cupboard, "I meant 'Prairie Oysters.'" Ivy was still confused. "I'm guessing you've never heard of them."
"I think I heard Zack mentioning something about them, Spike, and some cartoon."
"Cowboy Bebop." Deric answered, knowing where Zack had heard of them. "Yeah, they were on there. It's actually where I first heard about them, but it's not fiction. They actually exist. Actually, I've heard some people call the oyster a Bebop in homage of the cartoon."
"What are they?" Ivy said, looking apprehensiously at the items on the table.
"Hangover cure." Deric said, emerging from the cabinets with a bottle of what looked like vinegar and a bottle of worcestershire sauce.
Ivy blanched at the sight of the bottle, "What's the vinegar for?"
"Flavor..." Deric shuddered slightly before giving her a wicked grin. "And the piece d'resistance..." He reached into a paper bag and pulled out a bottle of brandy.
"Oh God..." Ivy paled, "No more alcohol. I don't think my body can take anymore." Ivy put a hand on her queasy stomach, looking about ready to hurl if she had another drop of the vile substance that had put her in this situation.
"It's a key part of the recipe." Deric clasped Ivy's hand as she put her head on the counter. "Trust me, this works." Ivy looked up and saw he was being very sincere.
"Okay." Deric started making the 'oyster.' He first poured a shot of brandy into each glass. Then, the vinegar and then the worcestershire followed by the egg yolk, salt, pepper, and hot sauce.
Handing her one of the glasses, Deric said, "Now, you have to drink it all in the first gulp." Ivy nodded, bringing the glass to her lips, before Deric also said, "I do have to warn you, these do NOT taste good. It's a good idea to hold your nose as you drink it." Following Deric's lead, she chugged it down.Deric shuddered and then clapped his hands and gave a whoop. "Oh, crap, that's nasty..."
"Jesus Christ," Ivy swore once she had finished the drink, "that was horrible." She was gagging and coughing, trying to keep from puking up the sludge she had just ingested.
"Trust me, it sucks now." Deric said, taking a sip of water. "But, give it a half-hour to an hour and you'll feel fine."
"How many of those have you had?" Ivy asked. Deric was ticking off his fingers, thinking about that.
"Including that one, six."
"That's nuts," Ivy grimaced. "You're crazier than I thought, Deric." Ivy said, before putting her head back down onto her folded arms and closing her eyes to try and block out the light.
"Nah, I just had fun at college," Deric smirked. "And paid for it, too." Finishing off the galss of water, he put his and Ivy's glasses into the sink. Looking across the table at Ivy, he asked, "So, what do we want to do?"
Peering up at him, Ivy answered, "Well, we should probably try and find out what actually happened last night. That way, we can come up with some sort of story to..."
"Is it really anybody's business what we did on our three days off?"
"No, but like you said about the rumor-mill back in San Fran..."
"Plus, you know the Chief's gonna say something." Both looked at each other for a second or two be fore coming to the same conclusion...
"We're screwed..."