Walking Tall
"Come on ya fat cow"
The voice rang out over the school yard and she winced as she heard the familiar cry of the bully as he sauntered towards her swinging the stick "Moooooove it Flossy!"
She turned to accept the slap across her knees but hadn't counted on the fact that earlier that week her baby brother had started school and all eight years of her stood gaping as the little five year old roared with rage, running full tit towards Malcolm Larsen with his head down, his shoulder squared and no backing down.
The bully's friends started to laugh as the little boy reached his big sister's bully and as his head stoved into the ten year old boy's stomach the laughter died, the little spitfire standing with a look of glee as the bully writhed in agony on the ground trying to breathe though the sudden loss of dignity.
The little boy followed though by kicking him in the balls as hard as he could then looked down and said calmly in a broad Welsh accent "My Sissy might be a right rounded girl but she is beautiful like me mama. You ever call me Sissy a cow again and you will not just be on the grass. I will take a shit there first!"
"Ianto Icarus Jones!"
.
.
.
.
"I just don't think it's right that the Black Bitch got a higher score than me"
Ianto glanced up from his notes and watched the two in front of him talk about the new girl. Lisa something. Apparently they were slightly pissed that she had beaten them … them. The two geniuses in class … so they thought. Clearly they had never turned around to see his scores and he found it slightly amusing. He was and will always be the straight A student. Top of the class, hiding in the back. Typical Jonesy.
"Look at her" the blonde girl sneered "Looks like she can barely hold a pencil. Probably used to a stick to get grubs out of the tree bark or something. Don't apes use those?"
They giggled between them, then her boyfriend answered "probably some new initiative to let pets in the school."
Ianto had heard enough and leaned forward, unaware that there was a natural lull about to happen and his voice rang out loud and clear "If you don't stop the racial slurs right now I will push you into the lecturing pit and piss on your heads. How's that for animalistic behaviour?"
The boyfriend swung but Ianto simply leaned back, letting his feet move from under his desk to hit the chair in front and the boy yelped as his chair slid, then his desk as well and Ianto followed through in this threat as the boy plummeted over the edge of the raised working where the desks lined the teacher's pit in a semicircle to land at the teacher's feet by flicking his water bottle after him to spew all over him. The teacher cleared his throat.
The black teacher.
The new girl looked at the mess on the floor with shock, then over at the young man rising from his chair to glower down at his victim. "My Mama always told me to follow through on a promise or threat."
Lisa started to smile softly as the teacher sighed.
"Mister Jones? Care to explain?"
.
.
.
.
"Disgusting. His mother must be horrified."
Lisa reached across the table to take Ianto's hand, looking into his eyes "Leave it. It doesn't matter love. Come on, what were you saying?"
"Oh my god, she's pawing at him now. I can't eat while this is happening. A nice boy like that too."
Lisa glanced over at the woman then sighed as Ianto's' hand slid back. She had broken eye contact and the mood was ruined as Ianto turned to face the woman, the little box he had just slid from his pocket going back in there as the chance passed.
He would not propose tonight.
Not after some piece of shit like this old woman spoiled everything with her small mind. Ianto looked at the man who sat with her, clearly uncomfortable with his mother's words but unable to chastise her. The gold chain around the woman's neck screamed of a godly woman even if her tongue was clearly the devil's.
"My mother was a kindly, wonderful lady who never harmed anyone. A good mother is a backbone for a man's development and rise into adulthood." Ianto said to the young man "I am so sorry for your loss."
"Excuse me?" the woman squealed "I am his mother and I am clearly not dead!"
"Oh no" Ianto smiled sweetly "I was referring to the loss of respect for his mother. I mean, how can he respect you when you sit there loudly and proudly insulting someone you don't even know based on skin colour. You know … the first man was black. Slaves back in the day were too right? Wasn't your Jesus fellow coloured as well?"
Silence as the old woman gaped at him.
"What would your god say about you talking like this?" Ianto asked with wide eyes "After all … he got a young girl pregnant and then tried to tell her it was a miracle so she wouldn't cry rape … right? Tisk, tisk. A paedophile by today's standards, right? Maybe he doesn't care about you anyway."
The ring was heavy in his pocket and he knew after Yvonne was done with this stupid Ghost thing he would try again. Maybe next time they go camping?
"Ianto!" Lisa hissed, her voice breaking with a giggle.
.
.
.
.
"Oi Ching Chong, go back to fucking Ching Chong Lala Land!"
Ianto was still filling out the form on the PDA when he heard the leering taunt, looking over at Toshiko who had frozen with horror at the weird cat call.
"Come on Me Love You Long Time, show us your twat!" another called out as they laughed form behind the police tape. Ianto placed the PDA on the hood of the SUV and looked them both over, then saw a third who didn't say much ... not loudly. He looked over at Jack and Gwen, seeing them still engaged in conversation with Owen over the remains and he sighed.
"Chicky Boom Boom!"
Ianto walked calmly over to look at them "Excuse me. Someone who cannot tell the difference from Chinese and Japanese clearly needs to have thing explained to them on their level so … This. Behaviour. Is. Bad. Bad. People. Get. Punished. Bad. Boys. Bad!"
"What the …" the first one snarled but Ianto was already tazing, watching the twat-lover writhe on the ground as his Boom-boom friend cried out and tried to get a swing in only to meet fresh air, Ianto bobbing down and sweeping his leg, a quick jab before rising to look at the silent instigator without bodyguards now.
"I know you" Ianto smiled softly "I have always known you. A version of you. A bigot. I'm on the clock here so let's just get this over with, eh? You say something about poofters and I shoot you. So … as both of us can't be arsed with the foreplay why don't I just take a kneecap now and blame it on a misfire?"
"You can't fucking shoot me!" the man spluttered.
"Why not? Gonna Retcon ya, ya won't remember. Why can't I have fun? Mama said I should have a job I enjoy, right?" Ianto asked as the tazer pinged to say it was ready …. So he fired again.
"Yan?"
.
.
.
.
"Little prick!"
Ianto swung from the pool table to lock eyes on the man bending over Owen who was still seated "you touch my girlfriend's arse again and I will cut your fucking hand off you little rat faced bastard!"
Sometimes Ianto is just not in the mood for this shit. Always back your friends, even if they are being twats.
He swung the pool cue.
"Go Tea-Boy!"
.
.
.
.
.
Jack stood with a shit eating grin as he watched Ianto walk the room, checking the flowers one more time.
"Come on! We need to close the room already!" the man huffed, then turned to his friend to say in Spanish "Poofters! Always fluffing about the small things! We should charge them 10% extra gay tax!"
Ianto didn't react as he looked over at Jack who was looking at window catches, someone who had probably never learned Spanish … much like Welsh. Jack had no idea what was being said as he and Tosh checked the security for the possible Nostrovite attack, and Ianto knew he had a small window here. He turned to smile sweetly at the men, then said in a bored tone … in flawless Spanish "I don't like this venue after all. Too boring. I think my friend would be happier marrying elsewhere. After all, it is too small for the guest list I see in my head. So below the budget price it would embarrass her to even bring her here to a small underpriced mother would be ashamed of me for not giving it my all."
"But … but … we can accommodate you" the man spluttered, Ianto canting his head as he considered. Accommodation…the flowers….the reception … doable. Of course … the foreseeable damage could be quite expensive and after a moment he asked "And the damage clause? If we have rowdy guests and have any damage … is there a set amount?"
"Yes. We take a bond and if there is damage we keep it" they were speaking English now, relived that he seemed to be coming around.
"No more…mo less" Ianto seemed surprised "a set amount regardless?"
"A single glass of red wine on our white linens is as damaging as a fire in a room" the other one sniffed "We always adhere to those rules."
Ianto smiled softly "Then we can do business, I will agree to those terms. After all, you have insurance if we accidently blow the place up …right? I see it is usually a thousand dollars, let's set it at two. If we spill wine or burn it down?"
They all laughed now, Jack joining them as his arm slid around Ianto's waist. They signed the contract and as they turned to walk away Jack hesitated, then turned to whisper to the men in perfect Spanish "But the group discount for hiring the entire place out for the wedding included that one time damage payment my partner negotiated, right?"
The men nodded as Jack's eyes narrowed then he added as he turned to follow Ianto "Good. Hate to have to pay for what Owen might get up to. He might want to take a bathtub home in his backpack or something weird. He is loose when drunk. I might make a mess. Especially if we have Bertha come for the ride."
Ianto was putting the things back in the boot as Jack walked up and said softly "Pack Bertha too, will you please Ianto? Never know … may need to blow something up."
Ianto smiled softly as he allowed that hand to stray momentarily, leaning in for a quick kiss while others were busy and he hoped like hell he got to do the Retcon story on those two homophobes. Not related by blood. Might be a cute couple until it wears off.
Ianto grinned all the way back to the hub as he went over scenarios on what first time he would describe to them as their first enconter.
Maybe the one with the sniff could bottom.
Jack glanced over at his grinning partner and grinned.
"Tiger?"