Im Still Here
Disclaimer: Nope. Dont own Inuyasha... Dont sue me
A/N: This song is by Vertical Horizon and its called Im Still Here
Enjoy!
I found the pieces in my hand
They were always there
It just took some time for me to understand
It was pouring and she was alone, cold and weary. Surrounding her was pure beauty but she couldn't focus on it tonight. The blue ocean in front of her and the dark forest at her back. The young miko held no fear of the unknown, of the future, because things had changed... as had she.
What they had done... it had been a mistake she knew. But that did not stop her from thinking of it, of Him. The young miko also knew it meant nothing to him, but that did not stop her from hoping she was on his mind as he was on hers. Thinking of the words they exchanged from the rush she knew they both felt, brought a small smile to her face.
You gave me words I just can't say
So if nothing else
I'll just hold on while you drift away
The first few months had been easy but now, now she was losing hope. She knew that he would want no one to know so she had kept it to herself telling no one. She still felt him all around her. The way his youki ( thats how you spell it right?) had flared around her making her own power arise to his challenge.But it had been months since she last seen him. She didnt know if she should continue hoping or just let it go.
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive
The cities grow
The rivers flowWhere you are,
I'll never know
Yet here she was, still waiting, still hoping. 'Kami, Im such a fool for believing what happened would actually...' She felt the tears coming, the tightening of her throat and the lump that she couldnt swallow . And for the first time in 4 months, she cried. She cried because she was still here, still waiting on him. She cried because she couldnt hold it in any longer. The skies cried with her and the Moon was her only company.
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here...Still here
She showed him her true self, gave him her all. She had given up the future for him! Yet he was gone. He had left her but that should have been expected, it was who he was.
Seeing the ashes in my heart
The smile the widest
When I cry inside and my insides blow apart
She had tried acting like nothing was wrong as she watched Kikyo and Inuyasha and Sango and Miroku live on happy with each other. She tried to show them she was alright but she wasn't. She was never a very good liar. She laughed out loud when she thought of that... he had said the same thing once. She knew the reason he wasnt here and why he wasn't coming back. She was human. And he, a demon.
I tried to wear another face
Just to make you proud
Just to make you put me in my place,
But everything you wanted from meIs everything that I could never be
The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here...
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's gone
And I'm still here...?
Maybe tonightIt's gonna be alright
I will get better
Maybe today
It's gonna be okay...
I will remember
Why did she continue to come here? Why did she torture herself by living in the past? By hoping he'd come back and things would be different? Kami knew she should just let it go! ' And I will one day, that I vow.' Slowly her tears stopped and she began to think back to the last day they exchanged words...
" Inuyasha, Im gonna go on my walk now ok?" Came the miko's voice, a smile graced her lips as she thought of the one who was waiting for her. " Feh! Fine! Just be back soon or Im gonna come and look for ya!" The miko just smiled wider and nodded her head in response. After she was sure she was out of ear shot she took off in a sprint following his unmasked aura. The rush of the wind against her face and the smell of spring that clogged her senses made her laugh and run faster toward him. She slowed in her sprint as she came to a clearing with many wild flowers and tall grass. The smile left her face but her eyes held the joy within them still.
"I have reached a decision." he spoke in a little over a whisper, his back towards her. Confusion made its way to her face as she stepped closer, " On what?"
" We will discuss it another time." With this he finally turned towards her. She took another step closer, " Are you alright?" she asked meekly. He just looked at her with a blank expression, he refused to show her his pain. She continued to stare intently into his eyes, the worry etched on her face as she did so. She took another step towards him and he stiffened completely.
Then as he turned away to keep her from reading himself, she wrapped her arms around his waist and rested her face against his chest murmuring, " Its ok... we all feel pain some times. Will you let me comfort you as you have done so many times for me? Do not deny that you didn't call me here for comfort, Sesshomaru."
He sighed and blowed his head slightly, it was only her that knew him so well to take such liberities with his person. " How?" Was all he said before he slowly wrapped his arms around her. She smiled lightly into his chest "Because I know you all too well, Sesshomaru"
They stood like that in silence until he said " You will be the one to leave me. You'll runaway from me." She pulled back as if he struck her, " How can you say that! I would never!" His cold exterior was once again in place and his molten colored eyes darkened, " You lie. We both know you'll run from me in fear if I was to truly show you myself. You humans always-"
" There you go! Letting your judgement of humans get in the way of your opinon of me! You think we're all the same! Well you know what?! You're just as bad as we are Sesshomaru!"
As she raised her voice her hands clenched and unclenched, it was then he turned his back to her and started to walk away from her. She spoke again, calmly, " You don't even face your problems Sesshomaru. You always turn your back on everyone... and you wonder why no one is there to listen to you."
As she said this he paused in his steps turning his head slightly before stating coldly, " I need no one, miko." Then continued in his steps away from her. She never knew that would be the last time she saw him, nor did she ever guess...
The miko sighed a deep sigh again, closing her eyes. ' I knew that what I said was harsh but it was true and he needed to hear it but now I understand he doesnt know how to handle emotions...' She had come to him when she needed comfort after Inuyasha broke her heart for the final time. He had been the reason she gotten over Inuyasha. ' And I guess I thought he could love me...' She smiled sadly at the thought.
I held the pieces of my soul
I was shattered and I wanted you to come and make me whole
When he had made a sudden appearance yesterday as the group traveled, she had been so shocked because he had been far from her mind, she had been doing good on not thinking of him. But when she saw him again she felt the rush she had always felt around him and last night she realized just how much she had missed him. She missed everything about him.
When I saw you yesterday
But you didn't notice
And you just walked away
Cause everything you wanted me to hide
Is everything that makes me feel alive
Thats why she was here now. Here all alone and hoping he'd come back. But she knew he wouldn't. So tonight, tonight she would shed her last tears for him. The miko stood sharply, the determination shinning in her blue orbs. ' Im going to walk away from here and never look back'
The cities grow
The rivers flow
Where you are, I'll never know
But I'm still here
If you were right and I was wrong
Why are you the one who's goneAnd I'm still here
She took a few steps to look down the cliff and see the water crash against the rocks below. Then looking to the Moon for strength she closed her eyes only to see his face. He'll never know of her thoughts, of her feelings. He'd never guess either.
' If you can hear me...' she thought opening her eyes and whispering to the wind,
" Do you remember when you said I'd be the one to runaway? Well it would seem you did the running..."
She smiled sadly again and turned around only to see the molten colored eyes she had been dreaming of staring back at her longingly...
" Kagome..."
The lights go out, the bridges burn
Once you're gone, you can't return
But I'm still here
Remember how you used to say I'd be the one to runaway
But I'm still here