A/N: Update 2014

I have finally grown as a writer to where I don't hunger for concrit as much as I used to. Feel free to review if you'd like, but that's entirely up to you. :)

Retaliation (Formerly "Anna's Comeuppance")

By BabyKatSnophlake

After all the months of torture, Kratos finally found means for payback. Now he knew something that Anna didn't. Now Kratos held the secret. For months she claimed that she wasn't pregnant when everyone around her repeatedly told her otherwise. Kratos was one of them. She continually found ways to prove how she wasn't pregnant but the rumors were relentless. Besides, she had lied about her previous pregnancies. Why should this one be different? Well, Kratos had to suffer through her lying teeth for months, and now it was his turn.

He sat next to Anna and waited for her to awaken. She turned her face to him and smiled. "So, I missed it, huh? Was it a boy or a girl?"

"A girl." Kratos held the baby out for Anna to take. At that moment a woman rushed in carrying a bloodied naked baby boy, holding it out at arm's length.

"Where's the doctor? What the hell am I supposed to do with this thing?" A nurse took the baby from her hands and she melted to the floor while the nurse left to wash the boy off. Kratos watched her with curiosity.

"You've had nine months to prepare, what do you mean 'what am I supposed to do with this thing?'"

"I… I had no idea I was pregnant until now…" She admitted. Tears streamed down her face. The sudden shock of giving birth was effectively shutting her down. Finally she stood and returned to the hallway. Kratos faintly heard her muttering about having some sort of dream.

He and Anna exchanged glances. "Well, what kind of day would that be?"

He shrugged but he had a sudden feeling of déjà vu. He faked a loud sneeze to hide his snort of laughter.

Anna rested her daughter's head on the table and hummed to herself as she gently removed the diaper. The cloth fell from Anna's frozen fingers as swiftly as the color drained from her face. Where was her baby girl? This one was clearly not female! "Kratos! We brought home the wrong baby!"

"What?" Kratos took his time sauntering closer while he composed himself. "How did we do that?"

"That woman… her baby boy…"

"That's impossible. He was taken by that nurse and she ended up taking him home." Kratos peeked over her shoulder.

"Then explain the penis." Anna growled, pointing.

"Hmm… well, it's definitely a boy." He shrugged. Anna glared.

"Where's my daughter?"

"You're asking me this?"

"Yes! I gave her to you. You returned a boy! Where did you set her down at? She's been switched!"

Kratos watched her pace back and forth before finally, "Are you sure you didn't have a boy?"

"Did you want a boy so badly that you switched out our daughter? Go get her back!"

He shrugged and wrapped up the baby in a new cloth and carried him out the front door. He stopped and looked down at the infant before glancing up again.

"Hey, Anna?" Kratos set the baby down on the table, this time pretending to be puzzled. "I thought you said this was a boy?"

Anna scoffed, marching towards him with her hands on her hips. "Honey, even you can tell the difference… where did it go?" She checked the baby over from head to foot, front to back checking for a penis that never was. "How… how was it there and now it's not? I'm not imagining this…" Her eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You're toying with me. You brought home a second baby." She gasped. "What did you do? You brought home that woman's little boy didn't you? Oh, Kratos."

He ignored her dangerous tone as he lowered his eyes. "Well, no, I didn't. I told the truth about the nurse taking him."

"Then where did the little boy come from? Where did he go?"

"What little boy?" Kratos asked, pretending to be confused. "We have a daughter."

Anna surveyed him for several minutes. What was going on here? "You saw it yourself!" She screamed. "How can you not know what I'm talking about?"

"You had a little girl… You must have imagined a penis." Kratos said.

"I imagined a… NO! I didn't! You saw it too! What? Are you telling me it wasn't real? That you didn't really see a baby boy wrapped in that cloth?"

"Well…" Kratos had to turn away to hide his smile. "Are you sure you were awake when you saw him?"

"GAH!" Anna wrapped up her daughter and glared as she passed Kratos to put the baby down for a nap. He couldn't have asked for a better turnout. As Anna left the house, still glaring, he returned to Raine next door and took back his son. He rested the twins side by side and grinned as he snuck out to leave them for Anna to find. Just so he wouldn't have to be there to face her wrath, and to make sure she wouldn't accuse him of kidnapping, he left a note explaining about a second child that had been discovered when she passed out. He raced out of town on Noishe's back, but he knew that no matter how far he traveled, he would be able to hear his name being shouted from an extremely angry woman.

A/N: Okay, so it wasn't the best executed idea, but hey, give me credit. I wrote it and didn't read through it. (EDIT: Really, Kat? Jeez...) And don't scream at me about the many faults of this story either. My friend's brother and his wife had called to say "Umm, Mom? We umm… had a baby today." They had no idea she was pregnant. So yes, that's where that idea came from. The part of Anna not knowing that she was having twins… Yeah… I dunno, don't ask.

-Kat