Spiral Down, a percy jackson and the olympians fanfic

you are just a little boy

small, naïve, innocent, ignorant

[ ignorance is bliss ]

you don't know it back then, too submerged in your fantasy games

but when he comes

and draws back the veil hiding the truth

that is when you start to fall

{ and there is more than one way to fall }

you are just a little boy

but no, this time you are a little boy with a hero

a hero to worship, to idolize, to trust

he is perfect in your eyes

so perfect, saving you and your sister - like your favourite game brought to life

[ later on, you will laugh bitterly at how foolish you are ]

you now know the truth,

you now know the secret world

but you are still so, very ignorant

of the emotions coursing through you

{ because your feelings run deeper than just hero-worship }

still just a little boy

but you have taken a step back

you are now a little boy without a sister

such unfamiliar feelings! abandonment, betrayal, disappointment

( unfamiliar? can't remember... )

but at least you still have your hero

he will not fail you, you think

he will protect your sister, won't let her die, the sister who left you alone

[ oh how wrong you are ]

step back! step back!

oh gods

she's dead

d.e.a.d

this time it's real

this time she really did leave you alone

( there is no coming back )

and even worse

he let you down

he failed you

oh gods

no no no no no

this can't be real

just a dream

just a nightmare, not real, reject it!

still a hero, still a sister, no death, no quests...

no reality

[ just a little boy? ]

no sister who died

no hero who failed you

no games to hide behind

just darkness

and a king, a king with a way

to turn all the wrongs to rights

and him - why is he coming after you?

hate! hate! hate!

no more love - just hate!

wait... no more...?

{ just keep falling

fall

into the abyss }

the next time you see him

after the labyrinth, after the king, after your conversation with your sister

you think you start to realise

there is a fine line between love and hate

and maybe... maybe you crossed that line...

( somewhere in the labyrinth )

damn you aphrodite

[ all grown up now ]

so you leave

but deep in your heart you know you can't let him go that easily

so you seek help

{ for him }

you want to help him

but you also want to help yourself

you should have known better than to trust your father

that almost makes you laugh - aren't you supposed to trust your family?

[ hero who failed you, sister who abandoned you, father who tricked you ]

so you break him out

and witness once more the reason you made him your hero

so beautiful - dancing blade, golden dust, father at sword-point

the hero is back

{ and you crash into ground }

for him

this is all for him

you brave the darkness and argue with your father, risk his ire

you succeed, you walk through the evil army, coolness unflappable

and you think, this is all for him

an army of the dead, three immortal beings, one stygian iron sword

all swinging, all fighting, all bleeding

all for him

you walk through the giant doors to the throne room

you think about the prophecy, about how the hero is supposed to get his soul reaped by a cursed blade

but the hero is not your hero

and you are relieved

there he is! in all his bloody glory

still alive, still alive

[ and that is the best thing that has ever happened to you ]

you still try to deny it

even after you admit it

because even though you have already fallen and crashed

you still have that tiny piece of string connected to the surface, to your old, ignorant self

[ still haven't grown up after all ]

you don't want to face the consequences

manhattan be damned - this is a whole different battlefield

so you leave again

and then he's gone

inspired by mcfuz's checkmate

(go read it)