It was a nice night when I got home. The wind blowing through my fur while the clouds overhead were polite enough to let me into my home before they started showering the earth. The patter was the only things I heard, it was a musical rhythm that I did not want to disturb. The room was dark, slightly illuminated from the street lights outside. I started to take off my uniform, putting almost everything on the hat stand except my white shirt and black cargo pants. The usual ritual started, taking apart my weapons, doing maintenance on them so they wouldn't fail me as much when I needed them. It was a slow process, but enjoying every second, getting lost in my mind while focusing on cleaning my rifle to the last detail. The weight that burdened me, the heavy thoughts that filled my head with a guilt indescribable, everything I have done feeling so wrong; it all dampened a bit when I focused on something else.
When I was done, I left the rifle leaning against the wall, unloaded and cocking it half way. My revolver was left, so the process started again. I didn't know I was making a lot of noise until Jennie came out from our room.
"You know, it not polite waking someone in the middle of the night," she told me with playful sarcasm in her voice, I gave her my signature smirk and continued finishing my chore. She rubbed her eyes and yawned as she sat on the recliner we had. She looked at me finish dully, then she started to examine her nails," 'Oh, I'm sorry sweetie; I didn't mean to wake you. I've missed you so much, come over here and give me a kiss,'" she mocked my voice. I giggled a little from her reaction of waking her up. I placed the revolver on top of the cabinet, and headed to the recliner. She made sure she was covering all the space on it so I sat on top of her, using my hands on the armrest to not put all my weight on her. She squacked but she still wouldn't give up, so I started putting more of my weight on her. "Alright, alright, you win!" she tried to say out loud but only came as a whisper. I got off her and we traded spots, though she put all her weight on mine. It wasn't enough to bother me, and that alone made her pout. "Cheater…" I let out a small laugh at her retort, and started to stroke her head.
We were like this for a few minutes until she suddenly sat up right and sat on my lap, looking at me. "So, how was work, honey?" The sweetness in her voice washed over me and almost made me forget my actions. It wasn't smart for me to recall my work, one week on and one week off. We were soldiers, checking in and out. So why didn't I just run away, get out of duty like many others that have in the past. It wall rushed through my mind, flashbacks playing as I see myself blowing peoples head off with one shot while I would laugh quietly to myself as I see them panic, trying to spot me. Then it went to seeing my comrades dying from an opposing force, being overrun, executed, captured while I in a building in the sidelines, being helpless and seeing it all happen. One shot would be all it would take to spot me.
"Ryan?"
I snapped back to the present on hearing my name. My heart was beating fast and sweat was falling from my forehead. I was sure my eyes showed fear and panic while grinding my teeth, showing my canines at her. But it all vanished, seeing her beautiful face, her existence. Seeing her answered my question, I was coming back into the battlefield and experiencing its horrors for her, to protect her, to hold the primates at bay and repelling the massacres they have showed they are capable of. My expression changed back to the calmness that I came home with.
"Have I ever told you how much I love you?" I asked her, feeling my heart swell and blocking all other emotions. Her expression changed too, from a playful one to a softer, caring one. "It was one of those days then…" She placed her hand on my chest, and it felt like everything that was ever wrong did not exists. The only thing that mattered, the only thing that I could think about; was her," Jennie…" Yet it wasn't enough, to stop the madness, the darkness from flooding back into my mind. The moment of clarity made me lose my guard and the cold wave hit my mind; my calm expression broke and again, my eyes reflected pure fear. But she leaned in, resting her head on my chest; I wanted her, I needed her. I could finally sleep; I could finally think straight, the madness was gone…
"Don't worry; I'll be right here," she began to get comfortable as we both started to drift off to sleep," always…"
The house was right in the heart of the heavy storm, lightening flashed and everything went dark but a single streetlight that was barley a glow in the room. And with that, we both drifted off to sleep.