Me: Hi! I'm Axel! And I'm here in the Naruto Universe to answer all your questions. First things first. I've got to track and capture every single character in the world! Mwhahahahaha!
Pein: Um….what the hell are you doing in my base? This place is for Akatsuki only.
Me: Uh, Pain, I'm here to capture you!
Pein: It's Pein dammit! Pein! Just because the mange misspelled my name ONCE half you idiots online always spell it the wrong way!
Me: Um, so, if I call you Pein instead of Pain, will you let me capture you?
Pein: It's gonna take a lot more then names for the all powerful Akatsuki Leader to be captured!
Me: What if I give you a cookie?
Pein: Well……….I'm gonna need some convincing
Me: Two cookies!
Pein: Oh God….um….ah….hmmm….
Me: Did I mention the cookies are cookies?
Pein: Sold! I'm yours!
Konan: (walks in) Pein you idiot. All he did was tell you that the cookies were cookies.
Pein: Don't question me Konan…don't question me!
Tobi: (skipping into the cavern) Did somebody say cookies!
Me: (Holding up two cookies) Yup and if you come with me, you can have three.
Tobi: Yays! Three cookies!
Pein: Hey! What the hell! I only got two cookies.
Me: Sorry, Pein. Tobi's just a better negotiator.
Pein: Dammit!
Konan: (rolling her eyes) This is ridiculous. I'm sick of being surrounded by idiotic men.
Me: Would you like a cookie?
Konan: No! I don't want you baked goods!
Deidara: (striding in with Sasori, Itachi, Kisame, Hidan, and Kakuzu) Jesus Christ, Konan. Your PMSing for the whole month is driving us all crazy.
Konan: Mock me if you will, but at least I can avoid being bought by deserts.
Me: Hey Konan…..(reaching into my pocket and pulling out my new bargaining chip) would you like….a tampon?
Konan: (eyes narrowing) I suppose I could answer a few questions. But only a few!
Me: That's all I ask.
Itachi: Who the hell stuck a tampon in your pocket?
Me: (pointing to long wooden pole stuck in Itachi's butt) Who the hell shoved a stick up your ass?
Itachi: (pointing) Kisame. That's what happens when you try to do him a favor by feeding him his fish.
Kisame: That was fish! Gasps!
Itachi: Get over it.
Me: Now, now. Let's settle down. So, will I have to get something special for the rest of you, or are cookies fine.
Akatsuki: (looking at each other before mumbling in agreement) Yeah, yeah, cookies are fine.
Me: Great. That's the whole Akatsuki under my iron fist!
Zetsu: (emerging from the ground) You forgot me.
Me: No….I…uh…I actually really don't care about you.
Zetsu: WHAT!!!
Me: Well, you see, there's Itachi and Kisame pairings, Sasori and Deidara pairings, Pein and Konan pairings, but no Zestu.
Kakuzu and Hidan: What about us!
Me: Um, well, nobody really likes you either: I was just being polite asking you.
Kakuzu and Hidan: Thank you!
Me: You're very welcome.
Zetsu: Stop getting off topic!"
Me: Well, yeah. You're just a minor character. You're just kinda…you know…there. You're just there to look creepy and make people laugh when somebody kills you near the end of the story.
Zetsu: I hate you!
Deidara: Uh…can we get to the questioning?
Me: Actually, Deidara, we can't.
Kisame: WHY!
Me: Cuz the readers haven't sent reviews in the form of questions for us to answer.
Akatsuki: Gasps! The nerve!
Me: I know, I know. Don't worry; none of them will be given cookies.
Akatsuki: Yays! More cookies for us!
Me: Well, you heard them. The Akatsuki is pissed at all of you. Send in reviews immediately, asking questions to them (even Zetsu, I'm sure we can coax him into talking). Ask anything you like, however random. And in a few chapters, I might be able to round up the rest of the Naruto characters. Hey, maybe if you ask questions to somebody outside Akatsuki now, they may pop up early! Worth a shot, if you ask me.
Pein: Just watch, they'll ask me the most questions.
Deidara: Ha! Yeah right! They'll ask about my art hmmm.
Kakuzu: (grumbling) No fair! People are gonna ask Itachi the most just because he's a freaking girl and brother to that emo freak, and because he thinks he's above everybody else!
Itachi: (looking up from painting his nails) Hmm? Did you say something?
Kakuzu: WHY YOU-
Me: Okay, okay. Cool down everybody. I'm ending the chapter here.
All: Ahhh!
Me: Well, that's all for now. So review!!!!!
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