The Three Dumb Kings and the Magical Blue Hedgehog By Harly and Kelin
Part 1 How Dumb can They get?
King Shadow:I'm so hot and bored. Why do I have to sit on this throne day in and day out? I can't even leave to go to the bathroom.
Cream:Um... Yes you can Sire.
King Shadow:No I can't! I'm glued to the damn chair!
Rouge:Well, it's your own damn fault for sitting in pizza sauce.
King Shadow:Shut up! I thought it was a cushion! Plus how did I get pizza sauce on my throne anyway?
Cream:I'm not sure Your Majesty. Last time you ate pizza was... um... six months ago.
King Shadow:I've been sitting on this throne for six months!
Rouge:Then how do you go the bathroom?
King Shadow:That's just it! I haven't gone the bathroom for six months! I'm constipated like you wouldn't believe!
Rouge:Didn't need to know that Sire...
King Shadow:Someone get me off of this damn chair!
In another kingdom...
King Silver:Will someone please entertain me? I'm bored as hell! Bring in the village idiot! Maybe he can entertain me...
Tails:Um.. Sire. You were dubbed the village idiot. Remember? After that you hung the person who called you an idiot and dubbed there shall not be a village idiot from here on out. Only jokers and on occasions: morons.
King Silver:Oh yeah... Shit. Then you entertain me Squire.
Tails:What? I don't entertain Your Majesty. I am your Royal Vizier. I merely give you advice on decisions you cannot make yourself. I cannot entertain.
King Silver:Damn it!
Percival:Sire. Perhaps we could joust for you. Your knights of the Square Table are just as bored. May we entertain you?
King Silver:"Sighs" Nothing better to do... Yes. Very well Lady Percival. You may tell the Knights that I wish them to joust for me and make it snappy! I'm fucking BORED!
In another kingdom...
King Knuckles:There's just no way I can get to sleep!
Amy:Why can't you sleep Sire?
King Knuckles:Because it's too damn loud!
Amy:But your bedroom is soundproof!
King Knuckles:Appearently not!
Amy:Which room have you been sleeping in?
King Knuckles:I've been sleeping in my long lost queen's room. Duh! I lost her four years ago and I miss her with all my fucking heart so why wouldn't I sleep here you dumbass?
Amy:You do realize that all the windows in that room are broken because of the last thunderstorm?
King Knuckles:So that's why I'm so cold all the time!
Amy:"Under breath" Dumbass...
Part 2 The Kings Meet
"King Silver gets a letter that says he's invited to King Shadow's Kingdom for tea"
King Silver:Finally! Maybe he has some entertainment there!
"King Knuckles gets the same letter"
King Knuckles:Maybe his kingdom is quiet! Boo-yah!
"A hundred miles away a letter floats towards a hedgehog's home and gets stuck on the mailbox"
...Hmm? What's that?
"He picks it up"
...:Ahh! An invite! Strange... No one knows about me... Oh well. Don't want to be late!
"The hedgehog runs towards King Shadow's Kingdom"
"King Silver and King Knuckles arrive at the kingdom at the same time and confront each other"
King Silver:Well! Another king I have not met! I am King Silver. What is your name Your Majesty-who's-not-as-cool-as-me?
King Knuckles:I'm King Knuckles and keep your damn voice down! I'm exhausted...
King Silver:Don't tell me what to fucking do!
King Knuckles:I told you to keep your voice down! I forgot my horse at home so I had to walk here.
King Silver:Aww.. Big baby!
King Knuckles:Ok, how did YOU get here?
King Silver:I flew using my psychokinetic powers.
King Knuckles:Ass!
Cream:Hello Your Majesties. King Shadow waits for your arrival. Please follow me to the throne room. It is almost time for tea.
King Silver:Is there music?
King Knuckles:God I hope not!
King Silver:Oh shut up you whiny little bitch!
Cream:Please don't fight! We are approaching the throne room. Please enjoy your stay.
"The doors open and the kings see a table in front of King Shadow who is still stuck to the throne"
King Shadow:Welcome. Please sit down.
"The kings sit down"
King Silver:Why are you sitting in your throne? Why do you not sit with us? Is there a problem?
King Shadow:It is unfortunate but I got stuck to my throne and I am unable to move from it.
King Knuckles:"Snickers" What a moron...
King Shadow:How dare you call me a moron in my own castle! Why you!
"King Shadow tries to hit him but cannot reach"
King Shadow:Damn it!
King Knuckles:Missed me! Missed me! Now you gotta kiss me! You stupid ass sucker!
Cream:Um.. Excuse me Your Highness but um... King Shadow is gay. I wouldn't say that in front of him.
King Shadow:"Seductively" Don't tempt me...
"King Knuckles springs from his seat to run away"
King Silver:Oh look, the village idiot!
King Knuckles:I'm not from here you asshole!
King Shadow:We have a village idiot?
Rouge:No, Your Highness. We don't.
King Shadow:Damn it!
Cream:Please! All of you! Sit down and drink your tea.
Part 3 The Magical Blue Hedgehog
"The kings are staring at each other when a blue hedgehog walks in the door and sits down"
King Shadow:Who are you and why are you in my castle?
..:I was invited Your Highness. See?
"The hedgehog holds out a invitation"
King Shadow:Oh, so you were. Well, there's no point in staying! These kings piss me off and I want them out!
King Silver and Knuckles:You piss us off too!
...:Why do you fight? You are all kings yet you do nothing but fight. Maybe I can help. My name is Sonic the Wizard and my sole goal is to help others with their problems.
King Shadow:Prove it. Get me off this fucking throne!
SonicLAs you wish Your Highness.
"Sonic reaches into a pouch and sprinkles some dust over King Shadow and the throne"
Sonic:Releasus throneus!
"King Shadow tries to stand up and he comes free"
King Shadow:Holy shit! Wait, got any prune juice? I have to go to the bathroom really badly!
"Sonic waves his hand and a gigantic bottle of prune juice comes out of nowhere"
King Shadow starts drinking it down"
"After he finishes it, he runs to the bathroom, slams the door and has a gigantic crap"
Sonic:May I help any others?
King Silver:Yeah! I need entertainment that won't bore me no matter how many times I watch it!
Sonic:Very well.
"Sonic waves his hands and a kitten that never ages appears and lands in King Silver's hands"
King Silver:Aww! It's so CUTE!
Sonic:Anybody else I can help?
King Knuckles:The windows in my long lost wife's room are broken. Can you fix them?
Sonic:I can do something better.
"Sonic waves his hands again and Queen Shade appears young again"
King Knuckles:My love!
Queen Shade:Knuckie!
"King Knuckles and Queen Shade disappear and go back to their kingdom"
"They walk in the room and the windows are fixed"
King Knuckles:That's one magical hedgehog!
"Back in King Shadow's kingdom, King Shadow is dancing about, happy that he is off the throne"
King Shadow;How can I repay you for your help?
Sonic:No need. I live to help people.
"King Silver is back in his kingdom playing with the kitten"
King Silver:What should I name you?
Kitten:"Meows"
King Silver:Aww! How about Layla?
"The kitten meows happily"
King Silver:Aww! Layla it is!
"Back in King Shadow's kingdom"
King Shadow:I learned a lesson that's for sure. Look on your throne before you sit or you might get stuck.
King Shadow:Again thank yo-
"King Shadow looks around but Sonic is gone"
King Shadow:What? Where did he go?
"Outside on the roof"
Sonic:Sorry King but I help people everywhere which means, when I am no longer needed, I must leave.
"Sonic jumps to the ground and walks into the sunset"
Sonic:Oh my fucking eyes! Next time walk away from the fucking sunset! Ow!
The End!