"So what was your dream about?"

Damn. Jake blushed madly at his stoic boyfriend's simple question, turning his attention to their kitchen table that had suddenly become so interesting. Dirk drummed his fingers slowly on said table, staring blankly at the Englishman as he waited for a response.

"Well, uh…"

…...

(The Dream)

" What..? What am I doing in this bloody bottle?"

Jake pressed his hands up to the glass of the enormous bottle he was trapped inside, looking around in bewilderment. He believed that the bottle was sitting on a table of sorts, but he couldn't tell. Everything around him was blank. After a moment or two, the bottle began to fill up with a bubbly orange liquid. Orange soda, Jake thought. The soda continued to rise, taking the miniature British lad with it. He kept afloat rather easily thanks to the carbonation, but he still hadn't the foggiest clue as to what was going on.

When the soda finished rising, Jake peered out of the bottle again to see Dirk. However, he appeared to be a giant.

"Hey, English. What're you doing in my Fanta?"

"I-I have no idea! Let me out of here, Dirk!"

Dirk shrugged, picking the bottle up with his massive hand and tilting it at an angle. Jake quickly crawled towards the neck of the bottle, leaving his carbonated swimming pool behind as he climbed into Dirk's other hand. Standing on his feet, Jake could see that he was no bigger than his colossal boyfriend's thumb. A rather humbling feeling to the adventurer. He shivered slightly at the cool air, his whole body soaked to the bone with orange soda.

"Aw, you poor baby. You look so cold…" Dirk raised his hand a bit closer to his face, inspecting his tiny boyfriend as he shivered. Putting the bottle down, the Strider began to very gently stroke Jake's little back with his pinky finger, hoping to bring him some warmth. The adventurer sat on Dirk's soft palm, then slowly sprawled out onto his stomach so that his boyfriend could warm him a bit better.

"Y'know, you look pretty cute. All tiny and whatnot."

Dirk said this with a small smile, gently flipping Jake onto his back as he started to rub his itty-bitty belly. The Englishman was enjoying this despite all of the confusion flitting around in his head, and smiled widely when his entire midsection was engulfed by the subtle warmth of Dirk's giant lips.

"So precious… I could just eat you up…~"

Jake's smile faded a bit. That was something his grandma would always tell him. But coming from Dirk, the innocent saying was given a not-so-innocent edge. His eyes went wide when his boyfriend lowered his mouth again, the tip of his tongue brushing slowly up his chest. Dirk chuckled softly, pulling up Jake's micro-sized shirt as he licked from the adventurer's belly-button down to the small bulge in his shorts.

"D-Dirk..?"

Jake's breath hitched, and his giant boyfriend offered a smug smirk.

"Orange… My favorite~"

Dirk continued to lick his miniature boyfriend, the wet muscle of his tongue bringing a whole new sort of pleasure to the half concerned, half needy Jake.

This was wrong. This was strange and bizarre and disturbing but Jake loved it all the same. There was something about the impossible size difference between he and his boyfriend that, quite frankly, turned him on. And for some reason, being treated like a piece of food rather than a person also contributed to Jake's confusion ridden arousal.

After a minute or two of being licked, gently sucked on and being frailly grazed with a set of massive teeth, the Englishman could feel a ball of burning heat forming in his little belly.

"A-Ahh! Dirk, I- Mm! I ca-ant hold o-on anym-AHH~!"

…...

(The Awkward Reality)

Jake's face burned brilliantly with a scarlet blush, and he swallowed thickly as he debated whether or not to tell his boyfriend the bizarre dream.

"Well…? What's the matter, Jake? Cat got your tongue?"

Tongue. Golly fucking gosh…

"… I-I had a dream that I walked in on Rolal and Janey having a jolly good time doing a bit of 'exploring' under the sheets."

Dirk cracked a small smile, then began to laugh. Nervously, Jake laughed along, not believing he'd gotten away with that. After a moment of laughter, it was silent again, and Jake felt relieved that his lie had deceived his boyfriend.

"Jesus Christ, that was funny, English."

Dirk sighed, catching his breath. He then leaned across the table, pressing a kiss to Jake's blushing cheek with a familiar smirk.

"But you're a terrible liar. Now spit it out for real."

Dittly frigging damn.