Disclaimer: I don't own Fairly OddParents or Danny Phantom.
Author's Note: Constructive criticism welcomed, particularly on characterization.
Lava Lamp? Genie? What?
Mistaken For a Ghost
Valerie Gray wondered why the lava lamp was there. Her family didn't have much money now, so she knew that her dad couldn't have got it for her. Did Vlad send it to help her with her ghost hunting or as a reward?
If Vlad was helping or rewarding her, he probably didn't know that she had learned that he was a ghost, and that she had put him on her enemy list.
Valerie rubbed it, guessing that if it was new ghost-hunting equipment that would probably be the way to activate it.
Blue smoke edged with pink sparkles spiraled out of the lamp, dissipating to show what appeared to be a ghost wearing a fez, bangles and a shirtless vest.
Valerie clapped her toes together, causing her red-and-black metallic ghost-hunting suit to cover her and air-surf board to appear beneath her feet.
"You're going down, ghost!"
"One: cool outfit. Two: Going down? At least get to know me first. Three: I'm not a ghost," said the ghost in a sardonic tone.
"Don't lie to me, ghost. It's obvious that you are one."
The ghost's facial expression changed to a WTF. "How's it obvious that I'm a ghost? I'm not translucent, am I? Also, I know that I'm not wearing a sheet? I'm Norm the Genie and you just got three wishes."
"Translucent? Wearing a sheet? Those aren't signs of ghosthood," replied Valerie, blasting at 'Norm.'
"Well, they were the last time I was around," replied Norm sardonically. "What, do ghosts come out of lamps now and have tails nowadays?"
"You mean the seventies, ghost?" replied Valerie.
"What, do I look dated or something? I meant the 2000s, not the seventies."
"It is the 2000s, ghost. Boy, you're behind the times!"
"Is it? My name is Norm, not ghost. Or if you insist on having me on a species-name-basis, at least get it right. Genie, not ghost."
"Alright then, ghost-genie," replied Valerie.
"Speaking of genie, wanna use your wishes and doom me to more boredom in my lamp?" asked Norm sardonically.
"Nope," replied Valerie, recalling the other genie-ghost, Desiree. "I can doom you just as well with this."
"Right…" said Norm, his voice full of sarcasm. "The only doom I'm vulnerable to is eternal boredom. Your blasters don't blast that."
"Weird weakness," commented Valerie, feeling too angry to process the ghost-genie's sardonic tone.
The ghost-genie rolled his eyes and muttered a general insult to the brainpower of all humankind.
"Alright, I'll give it to you straight, I'm immortal. The only thing your blasters will ever do is slightly hurt. I won't die, so please don't shout 'why won't you die' at me when you see that I'm not dead."
Valerie figured that if that was a lie, the ghost was probably very suicidal. Even if the ghost were suicidal, she'd still want to kill it anyway, so she figured that the ghost was probably telling the truth.
That meant it wasn't a ghost.
However, that didn't mean she could let down her guard. Even though ghosts were the ultimate source of all evil, that didn't mean that there weren't any species that scored second place. Non-ghost genies were probably evil too, since the actual ghost-genie was evil. The genie did get a kick of insulting her, so it obviously was malicious.
Valerie clapped her feet again, causing her suit and air-surf board to re-enter their containers. She knew that they'd be useless against the genie. But, if they were useless, how could she defeat it?