So after The Romance Resonance, I wanted to write a bit about each pregnancy test Penny has taken in the past. I know that Terrible Waitress has written about the specific pregnancy test referenced in the episode, so feel free to check that out! And ennaxxor will be publishing a pregnancy test fic soon too, so don't forget to read hers!
Each section is a different instance in which Penny thinks she may be pregnant with Leonard's baby, her thoughts while waiting for the result of the test, and her actions afterward. Hope you enjoy!
Oh right, I don't own anything.
Penny closed her eyes and took in a breath, one, two, three, four, and let it out again five, six, seven, eight. Her mind was racing – what if she was pregnant? What if the bloated feeling she had wasn't just a temporary, harmless matter? What if she was carrying Leonard Hofstadter's baby?
Penny leaned back, legs hanging off the foot of her bed as she laid on her back and stared up at the ceiling. They'd only been dating two months, she was only twenty three years old, this would tie her to Leonard for the rest of her life. What if they didn't work out? What if, like her other relationships, they ended bitterly loathing each other, but they had to be like Valerie's parents, forced to spend time together because they had a child to be responsible for…a child to be responsible for. Penny was not under any illusions that she was ready to be responsible for another person.
One, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. Okay, Penny thought, sitting up. They'd only been dating two months, but they'd known each other for two years. Leonard was a great guy. He was sweet, he was funny, he wasn't someone that would run if she told him she was pregnant. He'd be there for her, and the child, as much as they wanted him to. Even if they didn't work out, she didn't foresee a scenario where she would find herself hating him. How could she? She let her eyes wander to the snowflake he'd brought home to her, and then to her sock drawer, where his eleven page letter rested. How could she ever not think fondly of the man who'd actually written her a letter after she'd slept with him – a letter that wasn't "last night was great, got to go"?
One, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. Just another minute. Then she could look at it. If it was negative, the trash can was easily in range of her shooting skills. If it was positive…well, she had about eighteen hours until Leonard would be back. She could figure out how to tell him then – and how to explain that they certainly didn't need to get married just because she was pregnant – she was sure he'd try to "do the right thing" and she didn't need any more pressure.
They could make it work, if they had to.
One, two, three, four. Five, six, seven, eight. Penny looked down.
Negative.
Her eyes closed, and she realized when she had a breath to exhale that she hadn't let the air out during the final five, six, seven, eight. Negative. She wasn't pregnant. She put her palm against her stomach. Nothing grew underneath her touch. She didn't have to have the awkward conversation with someone she'd begun dating only eight weeks before, far too recent to be ready for a baby.
Penny stood up and walked to her sock drawer, tucking the pregnancy test next to the letter. Time for a shower.
As she stepped inside the tub, she realized that she hadn't tossed the test into the trash can like she had the ones she'd taken as a teenager. Putting it in a sock drawer? Next to a letter?
She was too distracted by this break in pattern to catch herself when she slipped, she grabbed the shower curtain in a last ditch effort to remain on her feet, and pulled it down on top of her as she landed awkwardly on her side in the tub. She heard the pop as her shoulder came out of its socket.
Penny hoped that she was late because of her stress levels. In the ten days since she and Leonard had broken up, she wouldn't admit to anyone the amount of junk food she'd eaten. She found herself unable to sleep, feeling like her bed was too big for one person. And she was distracted at work. Her manager had yelled at her again today.
But as another day went on, and then another, she felt the old anxiety begin to antagonize her stomach, and when that was coupled with a terrible morning of vomiting, she headed to the store for a pregnancy test.
This time, as she waited for the results, she sat on the floor, her knees up to her chest, her chin resting on them. They'd just broken up, but that hadn't changed anything. Leonard loved her. He wouldn't be angry. He wouldn't feel like her telling him was Penny's way of demanding financial support – but he would give it anyway. That was just the kind of person Leonard Hofstadter was.
But he loved her. She knew that she'd done the right thing – breaking both their hearts so she wouldn't have to send his through the meat grinder in the long run…but if she was pregnant, would that make it harder for him – for both of them – to heal? And what would the baby say, when he or she got older, and Penny or Leonard told the story of why Mommy and Daddy weren't together? How different would Leonard's version of the tale be from Penny's? Your mother said it wasn't fair to me, that I loved her and she didn't know. I would have waited for her. I wanted her to love me, but I wanted her to be with me more.
No, Penny told herself. You are not allowed to think like that. I did the right thing. Sometimes the right thing hurts.
She looked at her phone. Just another minute to wait. Anxious, she stood up and began to pace. The vomiting – that could easily be from nerves. And with all she'd been through these past few weeks, her body could easily be thrown off for less terrifying reasons.
I'm alone. I'm only twenty four. I'm not ready. Penny looked at the photograph of the two of them at the beach, then picked it up and moved it from her dresser to the cardboard box in her closet, setting it next to the Christmas gift he'd given her the year before. We're not ready. Not now.
The Pregnancy God must have understood.
The test was negative.
Penny shakily dropped the test in the wastebasket near her feet. That was one painful conversation that she wouldn't have to have. Now she just had to worry about whether or not the credit card company had cancelled her Visa.
Her mind was racing. She had a one bedroom apartment; it was fine for her and Leonard, especially when he still had most of his stuff across the hall, but they couldn't raise a baby in her living room. She had loved playing with her nephew when he was a kid, but she'd always given him back at the end of the day. Caring for someone twenty four seven was a huge commitment, and overwhelming to a woman who had, for the first time in five years, confessed her love for someone only the day before.
Penny sat backwards on the toilet, straddling it, leaning forward and resting her arms on the tank and her cheek on her arms.
They could make it work. They could. By the time the baby would need his or her own room, they would be ready to move in together somewhere where they had room to grow. It was far too early to be thinking about cohabitation now, but in a year or two? She'd be ready by then, especially if there was a reason as good as a baby.
She was twenty six years old. Leonard was thirty two. They were old enough. She was learning to save, and he had money. If they were careful – spent a little less on Star Trek memorabilia and magazine subscriptions – they could afford to be parents.
Her phone began counting down from one minute. Fifty nine, fifty eight, fifty seven, fifty six…
Leonard was the only one of her boyfriends that she had ever seen herself having children with, anyway. Of course, she hadn't seen it happening now, but they'd been back together nine months and were in a better place than they'd ever been – a baby might cause stress, but they could handle it. They were stronger than they'd been before. Leonard and Penny 2.0 could handle a child. They might not handle it as well as one could, but they'd get through it. They'd gotten through a lot together already.
And one day, their son or daughter might be amused to know that they were likely conceived on a counter in a physics lab.
The timer on Penny's phone went off, and she jumped, sighed slowly to calm herself, and picked up the test.
Negative.
She dropped the test in the trash can, covering it with toilet paper so Leonard wouldn't notice. They were in such a good place right now. She wanted it to stay that way a bit longer - keep things homeostasis.
It probably wasn't the smartest idea in the world for Penny to refrain from telling Leonard she'd misplaced her pills just days after he'd found out that she'd taken multiple pregnancy tests throughout the course of their relationship. But there you go.
So while Leonard was off working with Professor Proton and Sheldon was off doing whatever it was Sheldon did, Penny was sitting on the edge of her tub, ankles crossed, tapping her hands on her knees, waiting for the results of the test.
She didn't want to have his baby out of wedlock. But she didn't want to propose to him while pregnant. No matter how soon they got married after getting engaged – no matter if they lied and said they hadn't known about the baby when she'd taken a knee – people would still think that they married out of necessity.
The mere thought of that infuriated Penny. When she and Leonard got married, it wouldn't be because they felt it was morally right. It wouldn't be because of social pressure to have a child that royal families would deem 'legitimate'. It wouldn't be because it was the only solution they could see to having conceived a child together.
She glanced at the time on her phone. A minute to go.
When they got married, it would be because they loved each other to the moon and back and because they were ready to love each other for the rest of their lives. Penny didn't want anyone to think otherwise.
And when they had children, Penny didn't want it to be an accident, or a result of carelessness. She wanted it to be a planned step that they would take together, the two of them choosing to bring someone into the world that was a product of their love for each other, a blend of the two of them. She knew that she would love their baby whether an accident or the most carefully planned act in the world, and Leonard would too, and that they'd be alright because honestly, it was going to happen at some point anyway.
So it might happen a couple years earlier than she'd thought. They would make it work. She was twenty seven. Leonard was thirty three.
Her phone beeped, and Penny looked down at the test, turning it over in her hands.
Negative.
Penny nodded to herself, getting up to throw the test away. I didn't save them all, she'd told him. The negative test from four years ago remained the only pregnancy test in that box.
Regardless of whether things were planned or not, the next time she put a pregnancy test into her box of memories, it was going to be positive.
Hope you all liked it! Feel free to leave me a review, those things are like candy to authors. :)