I paced restlessly back and forth beside the river outside the Cullen place, a low growl emanating from the back of my throat. It made me sick to see it all. The Cullen pairs were celebrating their non-event victory and Jacob was pathetically fawning over the half human half leech abomination. Why didn't he just roll over and let her rub his belly? Imprinting or no imprinting, I was disgusting and embarrassed for our ancestors: what would they think? I paused my internal diatribe and looked over into the house. With my wolf senses I could see and hear everything. I saw Edward with his arms wrapped around his heroine wife. I saw Seth lingering around them like some kind of neutered house-pet, and I saw Jacob holding the half-breed, fussing over it like it was some kind of living doll. Their happiness burned a hole in my heart, opening old wounds and refreshing old pain. Jacob was supposed to be the one to understand. He wasn't supposed to become one of them- the irrationally happy. I dropped my head and resumed slinking back and forth beside the river. It wasn't fair. It wasn't right. It was down right pathetic. Generations of proud strong wolf blood had been handed down to us, and the men of our pack squandered it chasing children around, lovesick and mewling.

Suddenly the celebration inside hushed and I looked back up to the Cullen house. They had all stopped, and they were all staring at me. What the hell were they looking at? And then I remembered; the mind reader. Oh great, he's heard every part of my internal rant. I looked up at them, looking at me- five pairs of eyes looking at me with pity. Pity? I was a wolf, the size of a lion. I had the power to kill their kind and they looked down on me with pity? The doctor's wife moved for the back door, and came outside.

"Leah?" She called to me "Why don't you come in and join us?" She said, holding the door open. My growl became a snarl. I AM NOT A STRAY DOG! I would have yelled at her. It was all too much. I would be a part of their sick charade no longer. I turned into the woods and began running. I had no idea where I was going; I just had to get out. I had to leave it all behind, get a fresh start. I had to be away from the vampires and their horrendous stench and their love that had turned my pack into pathetic, whimpering Maltese Terriers instead of the proud guardian warriors our fore fathers had been. But more than anything, I had to get away from that mind reader. I wanted to be alone with my pain for a change.

'Leah.' My name boomed through my consciousness on the back of the most pathetic Alpha my tribe had ever known.

'What do you want, Jacob?' I spat mentally at him, not bothering to slow my pace even a little. Let him try and run after me. I was fast when I was calm, but my rage had given me a new speed even I barely knew I had.

'Leah, stop.' My paws ground to a halt at the first command I had been issued since leaving Sam's pack.

'You have the nerve to order me?' His audacity was blinding, but I couldn't move.

'Leah, please?' He softened. I stood stock still in the cold snow as he closed the distance between us.

As he got closer to me, his inner peace and contentment started to push on me. It seeped in through our mental link, infecting me like a virus. I fought back the urge to throw up as he finally emerged from the trees.

'Where are you going?' I hated it when he asked questions he already knew the answer to. He knew me and he knew my mind, so he already knew I had no idea where I was going. He already knew I couldn't stay. I wanted him out of my head and there was only one way to do that. I shut my eyes and willed my body to change back into its human form. Moments later I stood before him, stark naked, my skin a sharp contrast to the snow. I had left my clothes back at the Cullen house, but I didn't care. It was his embarrassment, not mine, and a part of me grinned as his wolf features flushed and he looked away.

Eventually it became apparent I was not going to phase back and he stalked impatiently back to the tree line. I crossed my arms over my chest and waited for him to return in human form.

"I can't talk to you when you're like this, Leah." He said as he returned from the tree line, refusing to look me in the eye.

"Why?" I spat at him "Afraid your half breed bride wouldn't approve of you seeing another woman naked?"

"Aw, come on." He said, still looking at the ground. I dropped my arms to my hips and glared into the side of his skull.

"Just say what you came here to say, you ridiculous waste of Quileute blood." My venom snapped him out of his embarrassment and he finally looked up to meet my stare.

"You call me a waste of Quileute blood? You're the waste, Leah! You're a thorn in everyone's side, and right now you're embarrassing yourself!"

"Oh so you do care about your ancestry? I couldn't tell seeing as you're spitting in all their faces by playing the love-sick fool over that THING!" I screamed back at him. I was shaking with the rage of his betrayal. Jacob's eyes narrowed at me.

"Jealous, much?" he said.

Suddenly I was very glad I wasn't wearing clothes. I ran at him in a rage, phasing back to wolf form mid-air and knocked him to the ground. Before either of us knew what was happening my jaws were at his throat, poised just millimetres from his jugular veins, ready for the kill. A brief moment of panic flashed across his face before he threw me off and phased, shredding his clothing in the process. I leapt to my feet, but I was still dazed from what had just happened- I had nearly killed the Alpha male. I had barely had time to register the thought before Jake knocked me to the ground and stood over me, snarling from the depth of his throat. It was all too much for me and my wolf form just shrank away. I lay on my side in the snow a vulnerable human and I began to cry.

"Just let me go, Jake. You got your happily ever after; you all did." I sobbed, "Don't you get it? I don't fit anywhere here. I need to get out. I can't take anymore of you all rubbing your happiness in my face. All I want is to be left alone with my pain!" He stopped snarling, but he didn't let me up.

"Just let me go." I whispered.

After what seemed like an eternity he backed off me and trotted off towards the tree line. I didn't get up, I didn't phase back, I just lay in the snow, letting the years of pain flow from my eyes.

"I hope you find what you're looking for, Leah." I heard Jake's voice and realised he must have changed back to human once he was out of my sight.

"Look after Seth. Tell him I'm sorry." I sobbed into the snow.

"If you ever need us, you know where to look." He called to me, but I couldn't respond. I was lost in a sea of memory, my mind taking me back to a time before pain, a time when there was only Sam. I sobbed harder as I remembered the look on his face when he told me. I shook as I saw him walk away. I curled up into a ball as I saw him with Emily, and for the first time since I became a wolf, I was cold.