Joxer and Pasiphae: The Journey, a xena: warrior princess fanfic

Joxer and Pasiphae: The Journey
by Raye

Gabrielle and Xena had as much as told him to take a hike.

He knew they thought he was oblivious to their attempts to get rid of him when they couldn't be bothered to watch after him. He also knew they meant no harm -- that was the point; they felt the need to protect him...from himself mostly. He knew he wasn't anywhere near being Joxer the Mighty. If only he could convince everyone else that he was, well maybe he wouldn't be such a disgrace to the family name. But the energy exerted in putting forth the charade was taking its toll.

It was hard for him; being the happy guy, the one people could rely on for a good laugh, intentional or not. But what could a young, clumsy warrior wannabe do? Traveling was about the only thing he got right in his adventures. He could put away his sword and... and what? What else could he do? Going over his alternatives, he considered the places he could visit. There was a city he knew of -- a great city of learning, music, art, it wouldn't take him long to get there. Of course, it wasn't far from Corinth, but he could manage to stay away from home. Home. Maybe he could learn something other than fighting; being mighty just didn't seem to work for him.

Pushing himself up to stand, he stepped out from under the shade of the small tree. Joxer made his decision; he would go to Helike. He removed his armor ...armor, what a joke... and placed it in his satchel with his meager belongings. All he had to show for his life. He shook his head solemnly and began his journey.

He traveled alone for days before encountering a small group making their way to Helike as well. He enjoyed walking with them; it was peaceful. During the day Joxer learned of their different villages, their families. He was reminded of his own childhood - of the vast differences of the stories he could tell. At night by the fire, the bards took over with tales of far off places and impossible worlds. His mind turned to Gabrielle, as it often did. She'd love this.

A few nights into the journey the others encouraged him to play a tune on his lyre. He was surprised at their response; the hush that followed the last chord, the tears in some of their eyes. Finally, the spell was broken and his new friends asked to hear another. Joxer declined and instead half listened to the others' stories and songs as he considered their reaction. He moved these people. People were drawn into his music. They appreciated what he contributed; were touched by something he had done. Maybe there was more, more than being a warrior. Maybe his family's expectations had become his own. Maybe… maybe out of their derision would be borne his joy, his place.

Pasiphae had fled her home some months ago. Home. She hadn't been home since she was a child, since her parents died. Instead, she lived and worked at her uncle's tavern, her life there stifled by Agrias and his sons. She didn't want to work in that dirty place all her life. However long her life might be in that hole. Pasiphae dreamed of finer things. Oh, not riches or expensive clothes. A small place to call her own. A farm maybe. Some place quiet. She'd dreamed of reading; they hadn't let her learn, of course. Maybe more. Maybe to sculpt; to sing; to be a bard, now that would be wonderful! Oh, anything but the horrible place.

Then one night… she left. That easy. No one expected Pasiphae to leave. No one even noticed 'til the work had piled up and by then she was on her way. The first few nights, alone and terrified, she'd wondered if she'd made the right choice. There wasn't much food; she hadn't actually planned to leave. She'd had to hide a few times when she heard the pounding of hooves; afraid she'd fall into the wrong hands. The stories she'd heard in the tavern… But she fell upon kindly people, people going to a place of learning, music, art; all the things Pasiphae had dreamed, but not dared to realize.

What a joy it was for her to travel with them. Oh, at first she didn't think she could manage all the walking, but she was getting used to it. Better than hours, days, weeks, spent with Agrias and his villains-in-training. Training… they were born bullies. Pasiphae loved to hear of everyone's villages; their parents, brothers and sisters. She couldn't help but wonder what her life would have been like if her parents had only lived. At night by the fire was best. The stories these people could tell! How could they even imagine those things, let alone draw you in and make you part of it all? What was she doing, traveling with them? What could she learn? She had so far to go, farther than Helike.

And then that night the new man, Joxer she thought they had called him, played his lyre. He hadn't spoken much. She couldn't remember him telling any stories; walking or by the fire. But then, without a word, he played a song. It was so sad, and yet beautiful. She'd never heard anything like it before. Although, that wasn't really saying too much...A few drunken rounds here and there at the tavern, an occasional musician that came through the village, they were nothing like him. She wouldn't have thought he'd play something so… moving. He'd seemed so jovial. Making up funny little songs for the few children that had come along. But Pasiphae listened to him play his lyre and couldn't help the tears that came to her eyes. She moved back a little from the fire and listened and watched Joxer as he played. He was quiet afterward. He didn't pay attention to the others as he usually did. Was it the tune or what inspired it that made him so thoughtful? She wished she could do something, but what could she do? As she laid out her bedding, she took one last look at Joxer. How sad he seemed. How different from before.

It was a beautiful day. The sun was shining brightly, but the breeze kept them cool. Joxer stole a look at Pasiphae. She didn't say much. He couldn't actually remember her saying anything. Although, he had seen her walking with the others - laughing. She had a wonderful smile, and her laughter. He noticed her hands. She hadn't had an easy life. Not that anyone he knew had. But, there was something in her eyes. The laughter, smiles, were genuine. A relief almost. But, there was something in her eyes. If Joxer had ever paid attention to his reflection he would have recognized the look. It was his own.

Pasiphae was listening to Canace when she noticed Joxer looking in their direction. She wondered why he looked so thoughtful. His brow was furrowed. His mouth turned down. His eyes far away. Then Joxer scooped up little Thrasius and began to spin him to and fro. She must have been wrong. He hadn't been looking their way. His gaze had just drifted off. "Thrasius, he is a king. Watching over everything. Good and strong. All day long…." She couldn't help but laugh. Joxer was so funny. So kind. Pasiphae watched as he carried on with the boy and once again she listened to Canace.

The old woman noticed the two young people stealing glances at one another. Canace noticed a lot. "Joxer. We don't know too much about that one. He has traveled here before though. I've gathered that. And he's obviously quite the musician," she offered.

"Yes, I heard him play… it was beautiful," Pasiphae blushing, had turned away.

"A young man with a bright future. Would make some woman a fine husband, yes he would." Canace couldn't help herself.

That night, when the group stopped for the day, Canace, in an attempt to sit before the fire, tripped over a root, nearly falling to the ground. How very fortunate that Joxer happened to be close at hand able to help the woman to the log. Canace, in such a state from the near miss, called to Pasiphae for some water.

"What a strong young man Joxer is - isn't he dear Pasiphae? Come, come sit near to me, the two of you. With such strong young people near, I should have no trouble, no trouble at all."

Pasiphae and Joxer exchanged their first open looks at each other. His eyes were so brown. Big, soft eyes. They were even nicer, so close now. Her hair was beautiful. Full, hanging down to her waist. She always let it down when they stopped for the night. He had noticed that… he had noticed.

"I'm(I'm)Joxer(Pasiphae)," they spoke together. They both looked down. "Oh,(Oh,)excuse(excuse)me(me)" Embarrassed, they looked back at each other and laughed as they sat down to eat their stew and wait for the night's stories and songs.

Joxer watched Pasiphae. Watched her reactions as the story unfolded. The expectation, joy, sorrow, realization. He didn't have to hear the story to know what was happening. All he had to do was watch Pasiphae.

Pasiphae didn't noticed Joxer's attention. She was too wrapped up in the story. When it ended she felt as if she'd been pulled back down to earth. She wished that she could tell stories as they did. Each had their own unique way. She couldn't figure it out, but the tone, the phrasing, the intensity. She wanted to learn their art. Could she learn? Or was it something you are born with, or without? She had stories to tell. Living in the tavern she had heard all sorts of things, but she couldn't pass the story on. She wouldn't be able to make them see what she saw, feel the feelings that were inside of her. She couldn't take the time to write them down and get them just right. Even if she could write the words.

Joxer noticed the change in Pasiphae as the story ended. Her face became guarded. She looked as if she were struggling somehow. He wished he could do something, help her in some way, but he didn't know how. He always seemed to muddle everything. It would be best to let her work it out, he thought; he'd only be a nuisance. As the others readied for sleep he looked to her openly, and softly wished her a good night. Pasiphae looked up surprised that he had spoken. She shyly said good night after they had helped Canace up and on her way.

When Joxer helped her on with her bag, she was pleasantly surprised. Not so much by his helping her, but by her own willingness to strike up a conversation. Not just her willingness, no, her need. At first they spoke of the story from the night before, but as they continued on their way she asked, "Why are you going to Helike?"

He turned his head, looked up to the sky, "To learn," he answered.

"That's a fairly short answer for such a pause," she laughed.

She laughed. She should be wearing her hair down now. The wind and sun could play music with her hair. Music… "Oh, uhmm, well, there's so much to learn."

Pasiphae was caught by the way the light was playing off his eyes. They seemed so deep brown, and yet there were a thousand colors there. She wasn't aware of his pause. "What do you plan to study?" she asked.

She didn't even notice when I played, Joxer thought. In fact he couldn't remember her being there when his tune was finished. "I play the lyre."

"Of course you play the lyre! I've heard you play. You expressed more without words than any of the others in all their wonderful stories. What more could you learn at Helike?" she replied. Pasiphae surprised herself with her open admiration. She hadn't meant to say so much. What will he think?

She had heard. She had liked it. "I..I don't know what to say," Joxer admitted. I don't know what to say. Wouldn't Xena and Gabrielle love that? Joxer and Pasiphae walked along in silence.

I don't know what to say; I don't know what to say? Brilliant Joxer.

Brilliant Pasiphae, why don't you just throw yourself at his feet next time? Canace might as well come over and 'accidentally' knock you into him. Bother.

"Thank you."

Joxer said something. He said thank you, dummy, Pasiphae thought to herself. "Ah, well, you are very good. You must know that."

"Actually, I never really noticed. Until recently, that is," Joxer continued, "I never really liked playing. It was something I was made to do, I guess."

"Your parents were musicians?" Pasiphae inquired. Of course, they had to be. How wonderful, she thought. Such a contrast to her own life. She could almost see him surrounded by his family. She could understand his not wanting to do what was expected, to try something new. But how could he? It was obviously a part of him. He couldn't deny that.

"Actually, no," he finally said.

Pasiphae's visions melted away. She slowed and looked at him. He sounded so sad. Like that night. Like his music. Now, what did I do, she thought. "I'm sorry. I shouldn't have asked. I.."

He looked at her. She seemed so concerned. It looked as if she was holding her breath. Her eyes. She was looking right at him. Into him. "It's okay," he reassured. And it was. She'd understand. Somehow Joxer knew, Pasiphae would understand.

End Part One

They were having a good day.

The children were playing at the edge of a lake, the children, including Joxer and Pasiphae. Pasiphae had felt terrible earlier fearing that she had somehow hurt Joxer, but all seemed well now. If anything, he seemed happier, as if some weight had been lifted. Caught up in her thinking, Pasiphae slipped on a rock and splashed down into the water. The children squealed with delight at the spray of water. To his credit Joxer tried not to laugh, but was unable to stop the joy that flowed through him. Pasiphae had no choice but to dampen his fun. Joxer hit the water still laughing.

"Pasiphae, I know after a long day of walking I could use a bath, but I've found it to be more effective without clothes."

Pasiphae raised her brow, "Really?" she asked, causing her own blush. I've spent too much time in a tavern, she thought.

Joxer realized a moment too late, as always, what he had just said and how it would be taken. Somehow this didn't rattle him as it normally would have done. He stood up and looked at Pasiphae sitting in the lake up to her waist in water, her ebony hair glistening in the sunlight. Not the most ladylike pose, but not unbecoming. What a sight she is.

What a sight I must be, she thought looking down. She could feel her hair sticking to her face and see it tangled about her torso down to where it floated on the water. Bother.

Joxer reached down and offered his hand. Pasiphae grasped his arm firmly and righted herself, her skirts pouring water. They stood close, the sun an orange glow cascading its final rays through the trees. They could hear the children's giggles as they continued to splash around.

They were having a good day.

After drying, Joxer and Pasiphae chose to sit away from the fire and ate their meal in contented silence. They stayed there together as the others began to form their usual evening group. "You haven't told me why you're going to Helike," Joxer began.

Pasiphae didn't know what to say. She didn't really know herself. "Like you, to learn," she tried.

"That was about as much a pause as I gave the same question," Joxer coaxed.

She thought for a moment and then decided to answer him as best she could. "I honestly don't know for certain. I'd like to be able to put words together the way so many here do. I'd like to be able to create music the way you do. I'd like to be able to do a lot of things. But I'm not very bright, never have been. All I know is washing. Oh, and sweeping floors, cooking good enough that I don't get myself strung up. I've worked in a tavern all my life. That's what I know," Pasiphae paused. She shook her head. "No. That's not all. I know that I want more."

"I want more," she repeated, more to herself than to Joxer.

Joxer thought of a hundred, or at least ninety-nine, things to say to her. Why do you think you're not bright? Or... Why do you think you couldn't do any of those things? From his own experience, he thought better of it. He decided to approach it differently. Joxer simply asked, "What do you like to do? What makes you happy?"

What makes me happy? Dreaming makes me happy. What else did she have? But what could she say to him? "I don't know. I've spent so much time doing things for everyone else. I've never done anything else. I didn't have time for anything else." She thought for a moment, "I dream a lot. Nothing I could really do. Except.."

"Except?"

"Oh, a little farm. I want a little farm. Some place quiet… with little piggies… and little chickens," Pasiphae laughed. "Here little chickie chick." She smiled. "I think that should come later though. For now, I want something different. I'm just not sure what that is yet. Maybe I'll find my answer in Helike. I guess that's what I'm hoping. What do you think?" What do you think of my ramblings? How I can't put two words together? How I can barely add two and get two? She looked at him, trying to control her anguish. Her cheeks slightly flushed.

"I think you'll find what your looking for there, maybe before you get there. Making it will be an accomplishment in itself, your first adventure." He raised his arm in a sign of triumph. Joxer and Pasiphae laughed together. "You've made it this far, right?"

Pasiphae didn't have time to reply. A beautiful shower of stars was falling from the sky in the distance. "Oooh, Joxer, make a wish, make a wish," she cooed. Pasiphae couldn't take her eyes off of the spectacle.

Again, Joxer couldn't take his eyes off of Pasiphae. She was so alive. Amazed by everything. Things that others would take for granted gave her so much joy. Pasiphae, if you just let yourself, you could do anything.

Canace watched the two young people as they sat off from the rest. They had spent the entire day together and seemed to be getting along quite well. Canace had sensed a sadness in the both of them. A sadness that she hoped together Joxer and Pasiphae could overcome.

So beautiful. Pasiphae loved the nights spent under the stars. The sky had looked like it was on fire. The shower had seemed to fall on their destination. Maybe it was a sign. Maybe she would find her answers in Helike.

"It won't be much farther after we cross the strait tomorrow, will it?" Pasiphae asked.

"No, it should be no more than a day's travel after the crossing," Joxer replied. "The terrain is much easier there."

"You've been to Helike before then," she asked.

"I'm from Corinth," he answered.

"Oh, family, (bother)…uhm…it looks as if the story's-" Joxer stopped her.

"It's all right. I should have told you earlier." He leaned back against the tree. "See, I don't get along with my family. I haven't exactly lived up to their expectations of me," he winced.

Pasiphae had to stop herself from interrupting him. She couldn't help but wonder how his family could feel that way.

"My family is," he paused "fairly well known… in Corinth." Joxer pressed on. "My father's a warlord and my mother, well, she runs the family business, you could say. I have two brothers who both excel at their respective fields; assassination and … overall debauchery. And then there's me…"

"I never really fit in." Joxer stopped and looked at Pasiphae. "It probably sounds crazy, but I wanted to be like them, my family. They were all I'd ever known. When I didn't measure up, I left. I've traveled around trying to become something I'm not, a great warrior," another wince. "All I've managed to do so far is make a fool of myself." Joxer closed his eyes and shook his head, "How appropriate."

"You don't seem like a fool to me," Pasiphae offered softly. "You're kind, helpful, funny. You're a talented musician. You're a truly gifted person." Pasiphae moved closer and rested her hand on Joxer's. "You're a good man, Joxer."

Joxer shifted, turning from her. He looked to the lake and the moon's reflection on the water.

"Pasiphae, my mother made me take music lessons. It was all a big joke. 'You'll never make it in this family. You'd better start training for something you might be good at… Joxer the Jester,'" he mimicked.

"She said it in front of everyone. My brothers had a good time with that. It went on for weeks, 'Joxer the Jester, Joxer the Jester'. It never really stopped I guess," Joxer sighed.

Her heart went out to him. The feeling of not belonging, wanting to be someone you didn't truly believe you could become. How could she tell him that it didn't matter who his family thought he was? He could be anyone he set his mind to be. How could she convince him to believe in himself when she didn't believe in herself?

"Joxer," she raised her hand and tried to turn his face back toward her. He wouldn't let her. His jaw set. His eyes pained. "Oh Joxer, I don't know what to say." Pasiphae dropped her hand to his chest and rested her head on his shoulder. "I wish I knew what to say." She barely heard him when he spoke, "You don't have to say anything."

Joxer and Pasiphae remained that way, looking out at the water, but seeing only the reflection of their separate pasts.

End Part Two

It was time to go. "Don't worry. They'll follow. They'll follow, leave them be," Canace urged the others on.

"But they'll get lost," little Thrasius worried.

"No little one. They'll follow the path, like us. You'll see them again soon enough."

Thrasius looked back at the couple by the lake. "You're sure Yiayia?"

"Yes, I'm sure, now come along. You'll play with your new friends later."

Joxer awoke to the sun shining down on him through a canopy of leaves. Green and yellow blending as the light fell onto the form nestled in his arms. Joxer's arm was draped across Pasiphae's shoulder; his hand resting in a mass of her soft hair. He looked down at the still sleeping figure. Her delicate brow. The long slender nose. Soft, full, rose lips. A narrow scar along the top her left cheekbone. Now, how did you get that? Joxer moved his hand from her hair and ran his thumb along the length of the scar.

Pasiphae was standing in the ruins of a small temple. The water was rising. She should be able to hear the panicked people. They should be there. Running, screaming. The water was rising. It was always rising. And his voice. The only thing she could hear. It echoed over the empty city. "Pasiphae, you can't go back down there.." She couldn't see him. She could never see him. She felt his hand in her hair. Felt the soft caress of his hand on her face. His voice faded in and out, "I'll go… …stay… …do more for them… …love you… …Pasiphae." She could hear the water, feel his breath on her, his caress, the warmth of him still near to her.

Pasiphae opened her eyes. She looked around, confusion creasing her brow. Lake. Trees. Joxer. "Joxer!" She pulled away from him abruptly sitting up. "Joxer, I'm.. I'm sorry," she stammered. "Oh, I fell asleep… I was dreaming.. I…"

Joxer stood up quickly bumping his head against a low hanging branch.

"Ow!"

Was it so terrible to wake up in my arms? Did she have to jump as if she'd woken next to Medusa?

"Oh, Joxer.. are you okay?" Pasiphae lurched forward half rising trying to help. She managed only to knock him into the trunk of the tree, her head landing near where his last set of ribs had just previously been.

"OW!" Joxer bellowed.

Oh, bother, what's the matter with me? Do I have to be a dolt and a klutz? Pasiphae began to right herself. I should do something to help…

"I'm okay Pasiphae. Really. Really. Don't.."

…it's my fault he hit his head in the first place, I startled him. Pasiphae stood up, her head clunking into his jaw.

"Mrmph!" Joxer sat back on his haunches holding his midsection and his jaw. Tears in his eyes, tears of pain. Pasiphae leaned down. "No! No, Pasiphae, I'm fine… I'll be fine if you just stay away from me." Joxer couldn't help but laugh as he slid the rest of the way to the ground. She was just unsettled, waking next to me. Maybe it wasn't even me, maybe she realized we'd both overslept and was simply startled. Why do I have to assume the worst?

Pasiphae looked so concerned, embarrassed. "Oh.. Oh.. Oh, bother!" Her look of concern turned to one of mirth as she noticed his tears were no longer from pain; he was laughing. She knelt down beside him. "You're sure you're all right?" she managed to get out before the laughter.

"I thought I was the only one who would do something like that." Joxer felt the need to comfort her, to make light of the awkward moments. Like last night, she had seem so downtrodden. Maybe he should have been a jester. He'd much rather see her laughing. No matter the cost to myself, he thought wryly.

Pasiphae reached out her hand tentatively toward Joxer's jaw. Her fingers barely touching him before she withdrew them.

"I'm okay. You're not that strong," he gave her a sidelong glance as he tested his jaw, seeming to rethink the strength issue. Are you usually this jumpy in the morning? Or is it just me, he wanted to ask, but he brushed the thought away.

Pasiphae touched her now throbbing head. "If it makes you feel any better, my head is killing me." Pasiphae glanced over to where the others should be. Should be, but weren't. "They've gone without us, Joxer."

"They'll be heading for town and getting supplies. We'll have time to get there and catch the ferry." Joxer began to stand, eyeing Pasiphae warily. He stretched his tall frame and ran his hand over his stomach. "I shoulda kept my armor on," Joxer said lowly.

"I said I was sorry," Pasiphae mumbled. "I slept very well," she added pleasantly. She watched as Joxer struggled with his sack.

"You just want breakfast," he said as he finally retrieved a hunk of bread and a small portion of cheese and held it before her.

"Mm… your right." Pasiphae plucked it away from Joxer, picked up her bag and ran ahead of him. "You don't want to miss your breakfast and the ferry, do you?" she called out over her shoulder.

"We were supposed to share that, Pasiphae," Joxer shouted after her. He fell in beside her and took his share.

Pasiphae looked at Joxer thoughtfully. "You know, you're right."

Joxer gave her a quizzical look.

"You can't be a very good warrior… I mean, I beat the stuffin' out of you and I wasn't even trying," Pasiphae smiled.

"This is what always happens. You open up a little. You share a little. And they just throw it all back in your face." She can say anything, as long as she smiles at me like that.

Pasiphae reached over and put her arm around his waist in a brief hug. "Joxer, you are a good sport." Her hair was still down, it fell loose around him, her head lying briefly on his chest.

Joxer bent down slightly and reveled in the sweet smell of her before playfully pushing her away. "Pummel me, insult me, take my food, and then try and get on my good side? Uh-uh, honey. It ain't working."

Pasiphae walked backwards facing Joxer chewing a bite of bread. "Suit yourself," she managed.

"You know, Pasiphae," Joxer sobered. "It's okay. About this morning I mean. We had slept in… together, close to each other, I mean, I understand is all."

"Joxer, it wasn't you," she paused briefly, "I didn't plan on falling asleep like that, but... it was okay. I was having a bad dream right before I woke up. It was very real. I was confused when I woke up someplace strange... I mean, someplace I'm not used to.." Pasiphae hesitated.

See, it had nothing to do with waking up with me, he thought to himself, but said, "It was about me, huh?" He gave his brows a wiggle.

"Uhm? No… not like that," she chided. But it wasn't all bad, was it? She could remember the man in the dream. He loved her. At least, she thought he did. And his embrace, so tender, so safe. Like when she awoke in Joxer's arms. But no, it wasn't Joxer and it was only a dream. No matter how much she liked the dream-man's presence, she wouldn't want to live that dream. It was terrible. She didn't remember why, exactly, but it was terrible.

"Pasiphae?"

"Sorry, I was just thinking about it, the dream. I think I've had it before," she shook her head as if to rid herself of the dream. Pasiphae's mind wandered back to the moment when she had woken. "It wasn't just okay, it was nice," she spoke aloud.

"Nice? I thought it was a bad dream."

"Oh, no, not the dream." Oh, what the heck… "This morning. The lake, the quiet… you. Before I roughed you up, that is. It was nice. Awkward, but nice."

"It was… nice." Joxer resisted his natural urge for banter, "Thanks for listening, you know, last night. It was good to talk about it, really talk about it, my family, me. Anyway, thanks."

"You listened to me too. You made me feel better, like I could do something. I still don't know what, but something."

"It's because I feel the same way as you, that I can't do anything. The only difference is that I try, and try, and fail."

"That's not true. You play the lyre. Everyone thinks you play well. They really liked it when you played the other night. I can't believe that it's taken you this long to see it."

"Yeah, well, I guess I had my mind set on something else. It's all how you look at it. Like, I think you could do just about anything. There's something about you. A strength. If you just believed in yourself…"

Pasiphae stopped and looked at Joxer, raising her brow.

"Mmm, yes."

"Yes, what?"

What had Joxer said the night before?

I think you'll find what your looking for there, maybe before you get there. Making it will be an accomplishment in itself… …You've made it this far, right?

Wise words from someone who thinks himself the fool.

If you just believed in yourself…

"We seem to have a lot in common. What do you think about that?"

Joxer's face brightened. "I guess we do."

It was a good feeling for them both.

End Part Three

Joxer and Pasiphae enjoyed walking together. They enjoyed simply being together. As they walked, Joxer told her of some of his adventures with Xena and Gabrielle, but Joxer followed the spirit of the previous evening and didn't embellish the stories in his favor. Instead, he told her of all his stumbles, sprawls, and near misses; of trying to help, but only making matters worse and having to be saved by Xena and Gabby.

Pasiphae paid more attention to the parts where Joxer's presence had been invaluable. She was amazed and a bit awed that he had traveled with the warrior princess. He seemed not to notice his contribution. He was set on being a great warrior and evidently these deeds didn't meet his high standard.

Visions of Jett and Jace crowded Joxer's mind as Pasiphae told him of the torment she endured at the hands of her family. Family. Being an orphan wouldn't be such a bad thing. Pasiphae had been given a hard life. He'd been right about that. He didn't want to hear what she was telling him. The simple life with her family ruined in one army's path of destruction. Her uncle taking her in, but forcing her to earn her keep.

She had still been a child when she came to live with them, but what had been merely play acting at home, became cruel reality; sweeping, washing dishes, tending the kitchen fires. More responsibilities were added with the passing years. Years of drudgery with nothing in return. She had done much more than earn her keep. Pasiphae's uncle owned the tavern, but she had run it. His sons were worthless. They did nothing. Well, they did seem to help themselves to the tavern's goods. But Pasiphae wasn't angry or resentful. She didn't want any harm to come to them. She just wanted to be rid of it all. Well, mostly.

Joxer, on the other hand, took pleasure in imagining the disarray that had befallen the tavern in her absence. He admired her though; somehow she managed to keep her beautiful smile through it all. Joxer had sensed a strength in her. He'd been right about that too. Her goodness had won out.

"Joxer. Joxer, you're not even listening to me," Pasiphae waved her hand in front of his face. "I guess I'm really not cut out to be a bard. Scratch that off the list."

"No, Pasiphae. I was paying attention. I was just thinking. I mean, you turned out really well. You're… you're a good person. You'd be justified in being … well not justified really… but people, people would understand it maybe if you… weren't so nice, I guess."

"Mmm, yes."

"Not with the 'mmm, yes' bit again. I get what you're thinking. 'He's such a nice guy and look at his background.' Well, I'll have you know when I left home I was really fierce.. savage…" Joxer hung his head for a moment. "Well, I wanted to be all those things. But Xena, she… well, I guess she saw the goodness in me too, like you." He stood taller. "Of, course you haven't seen me in my armor. Now that'd put a bit of a scare into ya."

Pasiphae was smiling.

"Sorry, I usually exaggerate a little bit about myself. It's kind of a hard thing to shake. But my armor probably would scare you. My helmet is particularly scary. Well, you know, if you can't laugh at yourself, you can't drown out the laughter of everyone else, right?"

"Cut it out," Pasiphae looked at him crossly. Well, she thought she was looking at him crossly. Joxer thought she looked kinda cute.

"I'll cut it out, but only if you promise not to say things like 'I'm not very bright'. And stop thinking you can't do anything. You know, I was thinking about it, if nothing else, you could run an artsy tavern. I mean, you could have contests, or something. Make a name for yourself. You just have to figure out what you do have and work with it, right? I know, I know. I'll listen to my own advice too. How's that?"

"That's a deal. Well, we'll try. Now, how's that?"

"That's good."

"Oh, Joxer! Look!" They had been making their way up a low hill and as they mounted the crest the town had suddenly revealed itself. Pasiphae looked on in amazement. "Look at all the water. I've never seen so much. Oh, look. Those are boats, aren't they?," she counted off the specks in the water ahead. "Oh, there's a dozen, at least a dozen." She had grabbed ahold of Joxer's arm and was yet again displaying her hidden strength at his expense. She tore her eyes away from the beautiful site to look up unexpectedly at Joxer. "I've really gone. I've done it. Really. I've changed my life forever. I'll never be the same again."

"You say 'really' really a lot. Did you know that?"

"Huh? Oh Joxer." She released his arm only to encircle his waist with both of her own. She leaned her head against his chest.

Joxer, contrary to his wish earlier in the day, was glad he had taken off his armor. He rested his cheek against her crown of hair, ran his hand through its silken locks. The open affection was nice, for a change. But he did kind of miss the occassional nose tweaking.

"Joxer?"

"Hmm"

"Have you ever really had a friend before? I mean a real friend. Someone you could really talk too?"

Joxer lifted his a head for a moment looking down at her, "Yeah, Xena and Gabby, we're…" He rested his head against Pasiphae once more. "Well, not what you're talking about, no. I'd do anything I could for them. Don't get me wrong. But, no, not what you're talking about. Not like that. I mean, they know about my family and all. And they know from experience that I'm a loser when it comes to being a warrior, but we don't talk about it."

She could feel the sigh escape him. Without leaving the embrace, Pasiphae looked up at Joxer, into those soft brown eyes.

"Me either. It's kind of nice, isn't it?"

"What? Oh, yeah. I guess it is."

"Now, let's go check this place out!"

He watched her for a moment as she hurried down the hill.

I'll never be the same again.

He hoped a part of her would stay just as she was right then.

Joxer started quickly down the hill following his friend. He didn't stumble, trip, or wobble.

End Part Four

Canace was leaning against the old wall of the tavern. She hoped that Joxer and Pasiphae would make the ferry with them. It wouldn't matter if they took a later one, even one in the morning, but she would feel better if they were back with the group by nightfall. She felt so protective of them. No sooner had she finished the thought than she could see the two familiar figures emerge from over the hill. Canace smiled at their embrace and remembered to thank the gods for her still strong eyes. As she watched Pasiphae dance down the hill, her eyes misted, recalling another hopeful young woman striking out on her own. So many had helped her along her way. It was only right that she should do the same.

Even in her excitement at the hustle and bustle of the town, Pasiphae noticed Canace immediately. She made her way toward the older woman. "So, we made it in time then?" she asked as Joxer stepped up beside her. Pasiphae gave a shy look in his direction. She couldn't help but wonder what the others thought of this morning.

"Yes, you even have time to look around at some of the stalls. We have an hour before we leave. Maybe you could even have something to eat inside," Canace motioned toward the entrance of the tavern.

"Oh, but I want to look around some. There's so much to see." Pasiphae didn't want to admit that she had no money for food. The others had accepted her help with the cooking in return for her share of the supplies without asking her for anything more.

"Yeah, we'll just look around some first," Joxer smiled at Canace. "We'll meet at the boat?"

Canace nodded in acknowledgment and watched as the two soon blended into the crowd.

They headed for the nearest row of tables. Joxer watched as Pasiphae gazed in wonder at all the items displayed. She reached out and ran her hand over a soft piece of fabric with an intricately woven design.

"It's beautiful, isn't it? It's so exotic," she whispered.

"It would look beautiful on you. The colors would go well with your dark hair and eyes."

"Joxer, I couldn't wear that," Pasiphae hesitated, thinking about how it would look. "No, it's just not me."

"The old you, or the new you?"

"Neither," she laughed, as she continued to the next stall.

Joxer looked back down at the fabric.

"You didn't take any money when you left the tavern, did you?" Joxer finally gave voice to his suspicion. He had guessed that was the reason why she had insisted on looking at the tables when he knew she must be hungry.

"What?"

"You didn't take any money. You didn't think it was right, even though you deserved it. You didn't take a thing. Right?"

"No, I didn't. It would not have been right. And I didn't want to give them any reasons to come after me. They might have just out of spite, but… I didn't take any money, you're right."

"I have a few extra dinars, Pasiphae. We'll go and get something to eat. Okay?" Joxer stopped her before she could protest, "It'd be nice. You listened to me talk all day. Let me do something for you."

He looked so earnest, how could she say no? Besides her stomach was growling.

The tavern was dark, crowded, and loud. Home sweet home. Except Pasiphae couldn't help but notice that this place could use some elbow grease. They ate their food as they talked over the din. The food could use some work too. Maybe running a tavern was what she was meant to do. She certainly did better than these people. Pasiphae stopped herself. She should be grateful for being able to sit in a chair at a table. She looked at her companion. Joxer could sure shovel the food in. It's a wonder he was so thin.

Joxer noticed Pasiphae's interest in the tavern. She was appraising it. He didn't think she liked what she saw. Her standards were obviously higher. He watched her as they left, the way she negotiated the crowd ignoring the disturbances. She certainly could handle all the distractions. He smiled as he thought of the fabric he had bought for her. He'd be out of dinars soon, but it was worth it. He could see the way her face had lit up when she looked at it. It would be her present for making it to Helike. She'd have to take it. What would he do with it?

They met with the others at the ferry as planned. Pasiphae was barely able to contain her excitement. It was the first time for little Thrasius as well. He ran over to his two friends, "Yiayia said you'd make it. She said Joxer would know to follow the path. He'd find his way. She was right, huh Joxer? You've been on a boat before haven't you? You've done a lot of things. How many places have you been? I bet you've been to a lot of places." Turning toward Pasiphae, not skipping a beat, or taking a breath for that matter, "Have you ever been on a boat? I've never been on one. This is gonna be fun. Laphanes says I'm gonna get sick. You don't think I'm gonna get sick do you? I'll be having too much fun to get sick. This is gonna be great! I didn't think it would be that far across. It sure does look far, doesn't it?" Thrasius took a deep breath and ran to his father as they started to board.

"My, my, what energy."

"He sounds the way you look," Joxer teased.

"Oh, all right. I am excited by all this, but I'm not quite as animated as Thrasius, am I?"

"Everything shows on your face Pasiphae. You don't have to say a word."

"Really?"

"Really, Pasiphae, really."

Pasiphae leaned against the rail, looking down to the water below. "It's beautiful."

"Nah, it's dirty here. Wait until we're out a little farther. It's clearer. And near Helike, well, if you like it here you won't be able to stand it there."

"Rea… {ahem} Is that so?"

Joxer chuckled in response.

Okay, so maybe she shouldn't have eaten so much. She really blamed it on the quality though, not the quantity. Pasiphae was feeling a bit queasy. It wasn't bad, she would just have to get used to it. She was not going to be sick in front of everyone. Pay attention to the scenery.

Joxer wasn't going to say anything. He could see Pasiphae's discomfort, but he could also see she was trying to hide it. It wasn't as if she were green. Yet. "Doesn't the wind feel good, Pasiphae?"

Pasiphae closed her eyes and concentrated on the feel of the cool wind against her face. That was better. That was much better. She would just have to find an excuse to keep her eyes closed.

Joxer could see her relax some. "Look at the sun, Pasiphae. I always think it looks twice its size over water."

Oh, bother. Here goes. Pasiphae opened her eyes. "It's beautiful. The water, it's on fire," she blurted out, momentarily forgetting her queasiness. Forgetting it, actually, because it was gone. Hey, she felt great. She'd be a sailor yet.

Gotcha. Joxer watched, quite pleased with himself, as Pasiphae relaxed completely and once again enjoyed the view with that big smile back on her face.

The group made camp that night shortly after the crossing. They wanted to get as close to Helike as possible, but night soon enveloped them. The place was crawling with all kinds of little nasty bugs. Yuck. But they managed to clear a section of ground and started a fire. Joxer and Pasiphae sat together at the fire and listened as the others talked of the day's activities. Thrasius managed a report on his first boat ride before falling into a fitful sleep in his mother's arms, his little hands clutching the boat Joxer had made for him. Pasiphae was tired as well. It had been a long day. Carefully watching for any of the little nasties, she unrolled her bedding, and arranged it so she could still be near the fire. She wanted to be able to hear more stories of the day, but she soon fell asleep.

She awoke with a jerk. Pasiphae had been dreaming. It was only a dream. It was only a dream. It was quiet, unearthly quiet. There were none of the normal nocturnal animal sounds. At one time, this would have been comforting to her, now it was eerie. As she was trying to calm herself, a large streak of orange-red brightened the night sky. It looked like a trail of fire. "Gods!" She thought maybe she was still dreaming, a nightmare. This wasn't beautiful, not like the shower of the previous night. This was foreboding. It was similar in only one respect, it appeared to be falling on Helike. She shivered and covered herself with her blanket, even though the night was warm.

End Part Five

"Good morning, glory!"

Pasiphae had not slept well. She remained exactly as she was.

"Hey, what happened to the 'happy-go-lucky girl'; the 'everything is really wonderful girl'? Pasiphae?" Joxer prodded her back. "Hello?"

Pasiphae opened one eye, slowly. She thought she could smell nut bread. "Mmm" She did smell nut bread.

"You win."

"Thought so," Joxer handed her the bread he had dangled before her.

"Sleep well?"

Pasiphae merely snarled in his general direction as she finished off the bread.

"I think I'd rather have yesterday's version of you."

Pasiphae started clearing up her bedding. "Sorry. No, I didn't sleep well. And thanks for the bread," she gave him a little smile.

I'm trying. I'm trying.

Pasiphae regretted not washing up last night. Everyone else looked like they were ready to go. She'd have to wait until they got to town. Bother. Well, maybe someone would take pity on her and give her a place to stay and a job. Of course, the streets were probably filled with people that thought the same way.

Gods, she was acting like a little blonde bard he knew. A little blonde bard who was also the queen of the Amazons, and could kick his butt. And who he missed terribly.

Pasiphae leaned against Joxer as she put on her bag. "Carry me?"

Anywhere, my friend. Instead, he shook his head, "No way. Maybe if you'd been a little nicer, I mighta."

She gave him her most pitiful look.

In a flash, Joxer had hoisted Pasiphae over his shoulder.

"Joxer! This is not what I had in mind! This is not pleasant!"

"Then why ya laughin'?"

"That wasn't laughter. That was the sound of my lungs collapsing!"

"No. I'm definitely familiar with that sound. That's got more of wheeze to it."

"Okay, okay. Put me down. Everyone's looking at us."

"Now, Pasiphae. How could you possibly know if that's true from your vantage point? Now, if I turned you around this way. Or would this way be quicker?"

The world spun for one drawn out, vertiginous moment. "Okay. Now I'm going to lose the nut bread."

"Ew. Well, I was just about to stop anyway." Joxer placed her gently on the ground, holding her steady for a moment He stood back a little, just in case.

"I will not forget that."

"No, definitely not."

Pasiphae offered him an 'aren't you just too funny?' look.

Joxer decided it would be best to catch up with the others. "We're lagging again."

Pasiphae trotted after him. "How far now?" she groaned.

"Three hours at the most. Everyone's pretty excited, so less probably. Well, most everyone."

"Oh, I'm excited. Really, I'm incredibly excited." Actually, she probably had just enough time to snap out of her mood before they reached Helike. "What are you planning on doing when you get there?"

"Well, first, I'll have to survey my surroundings," he said, spreading his arms wide and hunching slightly, as he looked left and right. Finally, she laughs.

"Stop it, Joxer. Have you no shame? You'd do anything to make me laugh, wouldn't you?"

"Yep! As a friend of mine says, 'I have many skills.' Well, she doesn't say it about me, of course. I'm just borrowing it."

"What are you going to do, really?" Pasiphae tried again.

Well, I'm really," a glance in her direction, "going to find out when I get there."

"You don't know?"

"I don't know."

"You've planned this out as good as I have, huh?"

"Just about. We'll figure something out. Don't worry, I won't leave you hanging."

"Ugh."

"Oh, Wow." Pasiphae had known that they weren't far from the sea, but now there it was, opened up before them. It went on for miles. And Helike; the city was grander than she could have ever imagined. It spread out magnificently within its towering walls. A glorious temple stood out beyond the city. Its grove dominated by a huge statue of its god, Poseidon. With his trident and sea horse, the bronze Lord of Helike reigned over his town. She had been so impressed by the little port town. How foolish she must have seemed.

The remaining provisions were set out by the city wall as the group of travelers enjoyed a final meal together. The last of their journey. When they finished, Canace reminded them that her granddaughter, Merope, was putting on a play and that everyone was expected to attend.

"Well, Joxer, that settles one thing at least. What now?"

Joxer spread his arms wide, hunched over and started looking left to right. "Well, first…"

"Cut it out! You're awful."

Joxer straightened, "Well if I remember this correctly, most of the artists have displays or shops in the southeast corner. That's a good place to start. After that, there are different areas for debating, lecturing, your basic philosophizing. Now that's a good place to sleep."

Pasiphae started to admonish him; they were here to learn. What the heck, she would need a nap before the play, and it would probably work. But first things first, "Let's go get some culture."

End Part Six

The third time must be the charm. Pasiphae awoke feeling refreshed and ready to go. Joxer had been right, again; he'd picked a good place to sleep. "What was that man talking about, anyway?" Pasiphae inquired.

"I don't know. In my opinion, he must be right out of the academy. Something about a horse being in some cave," Joxer tried to stifle a residual yawn.

"Yeah, but the horse isn't a horse anymore because it died?"

"No, no, no, no, no, that's what that other guy was saying. He had it all wrong. It might be a dead horse, but a horse is a horse."

"Of course!" Pasiphae paused, "He's a horse. He's dead, but he's still a horse."

"Riiiigghht. Believe me, you'd have to be seeing quite a few illusions not to get that. I mean, come on, anyone with reasonable intelligence would know that he's still a horse."

Each had a frown creasing their brow as they wondered why people had to talk about things that were so obviously true.

They were looking at some more tables on the way to the theater when Joxer ran into a vendor he knew. He somehow managed to talk the man into letting Pasiphae wash up at his brother's inn. It had something to do with: a tavern near Thebes; a woman named Meg; and the man's wife currently standing within shouting distance. However it had been arranged, Pasiphae was grateful. The nap had helped, but she'd feel much better if she were clean and in her other dress.

Joxer was waiting outside the inn with a simple meal for them to eat as they made their way to the theatre. After finally finding a place suitable for them both, Joxer pointed out Canace in the crowd. She was surrounded by her family, a big family. She looked so happy. Pasiphae smiled. It must be nice to be home. To be home. Pasiphae sighed.

"What, you miss her already?" Joxer smiled.

"No, I was thinking how lucky she is. All her loved ones gathered around her. So happy."

"Yes. They do look…" Joxer's reply was cut short by the start of the play.

It was quite good. Of course, it was the first one she had ever attended, but everyone else seemed to agree. Merope looked so pleased. Pasiphae had thought Canace's granddaughter was simply acting a small part in the play, but it was her show. It was her story, her designs, her everything. Very impressive. And I can't even figure out one thing to do, Pasiphae thought.

Everyone gathered at the nearest tavern where Joxer and Pasiphae were introduced to the other family members. Joxer spent his last dinars on dinner and ale. It was worth it. They had a wonderful time.

As people began to leave for home, Joxer and Pasiphae were faced with the problem of lodging, or lack thereof. Canace offered them a place to sleep for the night, or for as long as they needed, but they both felt they had imposed enough. Instead they decided to camp for at least one more night. There was an old temple up on the hill. It would be a beautiful sunrise from there.

With no moon to light the way, the friends stumbled up the hill together. They could barely see the ruins of the temple when they reached the top. Joxer succeeded in starting a small fire as Pasiphae arranged her bedding across from him. Her head was almost to her makeshift pillow when Joxer told her that they would probably be staying in the inn the following night. He had nearly worked out something with the innkeeper's brother.

"What do you have on that poor man?" Pasiphae mumbled as she drifted off to sleep.

Joxer looked over at Pasiphae. "Good, I'd rather not have said."

Gods, if she didn't stop having these dreams, she was going to…

"Pasiphae, wake up, wake up." Joxer was shaking her awake.

She opened her eyes to utter darkness. It was later, the fire had gone out, but it was not yet morning. "What are you doing?" she complained.

There was a low, heavy, rolling sound. The earth shuddered. Joxer wasn't what had shaken her, she realized. The ground had. She sat up, tried to stand. Joxer caught her from falling. It was if a great Titan were waking beneath them.

Joxer's firm hold on her was as much from the desire to protect her, as from the fear of what was happening around them. Gods, he couldn't bear to hear it: the creaking and grinding; the sounds of buildings crumbling; the terrified screams that were quickly silenced. Maybe it was only a section of town. The old temple behind them was still standing, and it had to be much less stable than the buildings down below. But he knew what he heard. He was only trying to convince himself otherwise.

"Joxer!" Pasiphae yelled over the unearthly din. "What's happening to the town? I can't see anything." What good were they doing? But what could they do? They could barely hold each other up.

Joxer's eyes had grown more accustomed to the dark. He could see shapes shifting in the shadows created by the lights that were flickering in the distance. "There's nothing to see, it's just too dark," he roared back. "We'll have to wait

silence

until it stops," his final words rang out into the black night.

"Joxer?" Pasiphae whispered.

The ground was deathly still.

Joxer noiselessly knelt to rekindle the fire and quickly made a torch from a fennel stalk. He turned to Pasiphae solemnly, "I'm going to go down and see what's happened."

"You say that as if I'm not going to be right behind you." She reached over and lit a torch of her own from his flame. "Well? Don't worry, I'll let you lead the way at least."

Descending the hill was a slow process even with the light from their torches. The soil was loose beneath their feet. They continually lost their footing, but managed to stay upright. Finally they reached the old path behind the city. It was littered with debris, but at least it held their weight.

Most everything was reduced to rubble. It looked as if every structure had collapsed in on itself.

Then it began. Pasiphae heard the first low moan from the right. Then up ahead Joxer moved quickly forward and started calling out. He began pulling rubble up and out of the way. Pasiphae darted back to where she had heard the sounds and began her own excavation. In the area they found two men, a woman, and a boy of about six years. Joxer continued on, calling out as he moved through what was once a row of houses. Pasiphae stayed behind to check the survivors: one man's arm seemed to have been completely crushed; the other had minor cuts over his arms and torso; the woman had a gash on her right leg; the child miraculously appeared unharmed, but was in shock and covered in dust. She tore off a bit of her dress to bind the woman's leg. It didn't look too bad really, but that's what people usually did, right? Pasiphae didn't know what to do with the man's arm. How severely was it broken? Would it have to be removed? Gods. She felt faint thinking about it. She didn't know what she was doing. Even if she did know how, she didn't have anything with which to properly bind and treat these people. If we could find a healer's place somewhere in this havoc, she could at least get some supplies: some bandages; herbs; salves; something.

The ground began to shake again. The woman screamed. Pasiphae reached out to her and to the boy putting an arm around each in an attempt to shield them from any falling debris. It stopped as suddenly as it had started with none of her group being harmed. Joxer came running back toward them.

"We're going to have to get them someplace safe." He looked around him. Nothing could protect them here. Pasiphae and Joxer both looked back toward their campsite. They exchanged a questioning look. How many more would they find? Could they get everyone up there safely?

"We have to do it, Pasiphae." Joxer eyed the man with the broken arm. "We'll help him up first, the boy can follow." He turned to the other man, "What's your name?"

"Ibykos"

"Ibykos, can you help…"

"Artemesia"

"Can you help Artemesia?"

"Yes, I'm all right. I can help." He looked far from all right, but physically, he could do it.

Joxer and Pasiphae stayed on either side of their charge. It took them longer than expected, but they managed to get him to the top without further injuring him. Joxer turned to go back. Pasiphae stopped him. "Do you remember any healers in town? We need to get some kind of supplies."

"Actually, I think the wife of Nikandros, the vendor from this afternoon, would have some things we could use. I don't remember a healer, exactly. I'll try to look around Nikandros' place." He looked down over the town. "Where ever it is now." He turned back to Pasiphae and put is hand on her shoulder; he tried to look more positive, "I'll get something. Don't worry, you're doing fine."

"You can't do this alone. I'll check on…" she didn't know his name. "I'll check on his arm and do what I can for now. It still felt warm to the touch, so hopefully it's not as serious as it looks. There isn't any blood loss." Pasiphae was chewing on her lip, trying to wring out knowledge she didn't have.

Ibykos spoke up, "I'm fine now. I'm over the initial shock enough to help."

"You're not fine, but I won't stop you from helping," Pasiphae looked at him squarely, "Yet."

Joxer and Ibykos went on ahead as she turned to… "I'm Pasiphae."

"Xanthos"

"Okay, Xanthos, let me have a better look at your arm. How does it feel? Can…."

They were rooting through where Joxer thought Nikandros' place should be. Ibykos found a few jars and things in one corner where there was less rubble. It must have had no floor above it. Joxer recognized a few of the items and salvaged them for Pasiphae's use. They continued to search for Nikandros and his wife finding their bodies in the opposite corner. Joxer remembered their good natured sparring earlier in the day. For all of Joxer's needling, he had been a good man. He took a deep breath and continued on. They searched for more survivors on their way back through town heading toward the old temple. Joxer ran the items up to Pasiphae.

He found her in the temple trying to fashion a splint for the man's arm. She had cleared out a section of the temple, placing torches all around and spreading out their blankets on tables. She turned to Joxer as he entered. "I think it's only broken in two places. We'll just have to make do with these, I guess." She looked back at Xanthos. "It's much better than I thought, huh?"

"Yeah, your arm's not on fire," Xanthos shot back, but managed a smile. He leaned back against the wall as Pasiphae tied off a sling.

Joxer showed her what they had found. "This stuff is good for surface abrasions and this is good for deeper cuts. And there's more, I'm not sure what else," he set them down on the table.

"Thanks," she reached over and grabbed some rags. "See what I found?"

"Where'd you get those?"

"My other dress. I cleaned it in the river behind here," she said proudly. "Should have thought of it sooner, but I guess I was a little panicked. It should last awhile, huh?"

"Yeah." She was doing well, organizing, taking charge. "I should go back down."

"Okay," she stood and looked toward the others. "I'll put some of that stuff on Artemesia's leg and be right down."

Joxer thought back to the sight of Nikandros and his wife. Pasiphae jumped in when she saw him pause.

"Don't even try to stop me I know how bad it will be. Go. Go." She waved him off as she headed for the injured woman.

End Part Seven

"I could use some help!" He could hear Ibykos call out for him as he came out of the temple. This would be much easier in the light of day, Joxer thought to himself as he tried to make his way quickly toward the light of Ibykos' torch.

"Merope!" Ibykos was standing over the young playwright. Blood was caked on the woman's side. She looked up at the sound of the familiar voice

"Joxer! Yiayia's dead, she's dead." Merope was crouching protectively over the old woman's body.

"She wouldn't come with me, Joxer." Ibykos admitted. "I didn't want to force her and risk hurting her any more."

"Merope. You're hurt. There's nothing we can do for Canace now." He pulled at the blanket twisted around the woman's feet and covered her.

"No.."

He hooked his arm under hers and gently pulled. "Come on Merope."

"I can't find my aunt and uncle or little Thrasius," she looked at him desperately.

"I'll look. Go with Ibykos. Pasiphae will help you."

"She's alive?"

"Yes, there are others as well. Go. I'll look."

Merope relented and let Ibykos gently pick her up. The tired man carried her through town and up the hill to the temple.

Pasiphae was heading out of the temple when she saw them. "Merope!" She ran ahead of them back into the temple. Ibykos laid the woman down. Pasiphae set a jar down next to Merope and began removing the material from her injured side. Again they were lucky. The cut was bad, but would heal if she could just keep the woman still. Before she could finish the bandage Merope was trying to sit up again.

"Merope. You have to stop squirming."

"I have to help look. My family. I have to find them."

"You are going to stay here. I will go down and help the men. I'll be back as soon as we find someone." Pasiphae turned to leave. "You will stay here."

Pasiphae walked toward where the men were searching. She could swear her ears hurt from trying so hard to hear any sound of human life. Joxer saw her coming and maneuvered her away from Canace's body.

"Have you already been through there?" she looked at him questioningly.

"Yes. That's where Ibykos found Merope."

"Oh." Pasiphae looked at Joxer's back as he moved through the ruins. "You're not telling me something. I can tell."

"Canace." He didn't turn to look at her.

"Canace?" Pasiphae closed her eyes tight. "Canace." She opened her eyes and quickly moved to another area. She tripped over a block of stone and cursed under her breath. She reached down to rub her toe. She saw the boat. She saw his hand. She sat down heavily, carefully moving the rubble surrounding him.

Joxer couldn't tell her that the woman was dead, couldn't even look at her when he knew she had figured it out. I am coward. He swung his head to the side to catch a glimpse of her. She was sitting, going slowly through some of the mess. She must be in daze over the old woman's death. Her small torch was lying on the ground beside her. He looked closer. He saw the boat. He saw the hand. He started walking toward them.

Ibykos called out as Joxer reached Pasiphae. "Someone else. Pedocles. I think his leg is broken. I'll need help carrying him."

Pasiphae had picked up the lifeless body. "Pasiphae, he's gone. We'll need your help with Pedocles."

"I am taking him up. I will not leave him here." Her eyes glistened with unshed tears.

"Okay," he said softly before going to help Ibykos. What would it hurt?

Pasiphae entered the temple. Merope sat up and eyed the small figure in Pasiphae's arms. "No. No. Pasiphae," Merope pleaded. "Am I the only one?"

"So far, yes, you are the only one." Pasiphae could not be gentle about this. They had to accept that most of the city was dead or would be dead by the time they could get to them. There were so few of them that were able to search. It might seem heartless, but they had to keep going. Pasiphae lowered the boy onto the shelf. "We'll bury him as soon as we can, Merope. I promise. Now, I need you to lie back down. If you rest some, maybe you'll be able to help me later."

Merope was drained. There was nothing left. Without another word she did as Pasiphae said.

"I can help. I'm not hurt." She jumped at the sound of his voice. For a moment…

"I don't think I know your name. I've been extremely impolite."

"It's okay. You…well…there… It's okay. It's not your fault. My name's Anastasius. I can't do too much probably, but my Mom says I'm a good helper." His voice drifted off as if realizing what he was saying. He straightened up tall. "I can help."

Pasiphae was again forced to fight back tears. "Well, I'm sure you can. You can start by going to the river behind here and getting some water with this." She handed him a small vessel that had remained in the temple. I hope that won't make anyone mad, she thought. Then changed her mind. What more could the gods do now? "I've already lit a path, but you can take some fennel if you like, there's some by the fire." She watched as he passed the body in the corner. His eyes wandered over the other little boy. He grabbed a small torch and quickened his pace.

More survivors were found as the night progressed. Artemesia was able to stand for short periods of time, as well as Merope. They tended those that were found. Pasiphae and Merope left Artemesia and Anastasius in charge long enough to dig a grave with makeshift tools. In silence, they covered the small mound with what flowers they could find near the opening of the temple. Pasiphae could see him as Joxer picked him up, swinging him about. She saw him splashing in the water, squealing with delight as she tripped and landed in the water. Pasiphae saw him at the dock, so excited, so full of life. That's how she'd remember him. Not here. Not in this damn town. She grabbed Merope's hand tightly and turned them both toward the temple.

Joxer and Ibykos returned a little later. Both needed to sit and rest. Ibykos needed to stop actually. He hadn't been that badly injured, but combined with the strain of the search, he looked as if he might collapse. "You might as well lie down, Ibykos, I'm not letting you back out of here until you've slept." He didn't fight her. He had seen her in action. He knew better.

Joxer watched the way Pasiphae negotiated her way around the dazed and injured. Her actions were strong and swift. It was comforting for them to have someone take control of the situation. They all felt so useless. She was completely focused as she sought out those requiring more immediate attention, but she ignored no one. These people, frightened and saddened beyond belief, were comforted simply by a touch or a look of compassion and understanding from Pasiphae.

They continued their ministrations throughout the remainder of the night. They paused again only when the sun began edging its way over the once great city. What had been known as the most important city of Achaea, the meeting place for the twelve cities, now lay in ruins. There was utter stillness.

End Part Eight

Joxer and Pasiphae sat looking down at the remains. Structures looked like doll houses; the walls pulled away as if awaiting the arrival of a giant child who'd arrange within the tiny rooms. Why had this happened? All the people lost, killed as they slept, feeling safe and warm in their homes. It was as it had been that night so long ago, in her village, in her home.

Her family had been sleeping; safe, warm. Wanting a drink of water had saved her life. She had hidden in the rain barrel when she had seen them come. In her haste she had scraped her cheek against a jagged edge of the barrel, but any pain was lost with the sound of her parents startled final screams. Paralyzed with fear, she had remained there, cold and wet, well after the men had moved on. She could remember nothing else until her uncle arrived. Why did she have to remember any of it? Well, she didn't have to think about it now. She couldn't, there were other things that needed her attention. She blotted out the images, the screaming, for the time being.

Joxer knew he'd have to go back soon. Time was precious for those that might still be alive, trapped in the rubble. He steeled himself against the ache of his worn muscles as he rose to continue the gruesome task. Pasiphae began to stand as well, but Joxer held her softly in place. "Where do you think you're going?"

She shrugged off his restraining hand and stood. "The others are sleeping. They need their rest. You need my help, Joxer." She reached a hand up to his tired face. His beautiful eyes were now black as the night around them. "You must be exhausted by now. Let me help you."

She had already seen enough. He wasn't going to let her go back. He sensed that this new devastation had brought back painful memories from the attack on her village. He could see it in her eyes. How she'd been looking off, lost in thought. She was dealing with it very well outwardly. Everyone was being given the best of care, given the circumstances. That was enough for her to handle.

It was futile and arrogant to think he could keep her safe. But he had to try. "Pasiphae, you can't go back down there. I'll go and bring you anyone I find. Stay. You can do more for them here, rested." Joxer cradled her head with a strong hand. He gently stroked her face, running his thumb along the old scar. He pulled her to him in a firm embrace. "I love you, Pasiphae. Please, as a friend, stay."

She leaned into his embrace. She didn't want to play the part of a damsel in distress, but if in his arms she could forget for just a moment… The warmth of him… It was the dream. It was part of the dream. She struggled to remember more. All she could think of was the city… the silence. There was more, but it just wouldn't come to her. She reluctantly drew back. "You're right," somehow she knew that. "I'll stay. They need me."

She watched as Joxer turned to make his way back down the hill. It was like a scene from a bard's tale: the sun hanging over the sea; the hero, his clothes in tatters, his face drawn with fatigue, setting out with a determined step to make right what had gone so terribly wrong. She was certain that he wouldn't stop his search until he'd fallen from exhaustion.

As she looked on she noticed the coastline. It had receded. She tried to decide if it was a result of the earth's shaking. Then she noticed that it had not receded, but that it was still receding, and swiftly. Then she saw the wave. It was colossal. And it was rushing toward the city.

"Joxer!" Her eyes searched for the familiar figure. "Joxer!"

Joxer was prying up a wooden beam when he heard Pasiphae cry out. He jolted up, his sore muscles signaling their protest. She was up above, where he had left her. She was looking for him and then back toward the sea. What on earth was she doing? He turned as he heard the creaking, grinding sound. Another quake? But what was she looking at? His eyes grew wide as he saw the water begin to seep through the wall in several places. He turned to look up at Pasiphae who was now running frantically down the hill, her eyes glued to where he stood. The wall burst spreading more debris and releasing the force of the wave over the ruined city.

"Pasiphae. No!" Joxer called out to her as the powerful wave pushed him backward and under the surface. As he struggled up, he twisted around searching for Pasiphae. He saw her as she was crushed against the hillside and pulled under. Then his world went black.

Pasiphae sputtered and tore at the soggy hair blocking her view. She held on to the tree for dear life as her eyes darted over the scene before her. She couldn't see Joxer. There was only water. Water. That's what she had forgotten, the water. The tops of the trees in the grove were just visible. The towering Poseidon was now barely above water. He'd returned to his sea and taken Helike and Pasiphae's friend with him.

Her heart sank as she clutched the tree, sobbing. "No. No." She squeezed her eyes shut. He was trying to help. He was trying to help. She looked up to the heavens, "You can't do this!" The water surged up around her feet as she crumpled to the ground. "Joxer." The panic, the loss, the pain. There had been too much. She couldn't control her emotions anymore.

Merope struggled down the hill toward Pasiphae ignoring the pain in her side. The poor girl was saying his name over and over. Merope reached out her hand. Pasiphae turned slowly toward her. Merope could see no trace of the girl her grandmother had described: so alive; amazed by everything around her. Neither could she see the woman she had known this night: strong; efficient; helping them through their pain and grief; forcing them to go on. Pasiphae looked up at her blankly. She was empty. Merope pulled Pasiphae's hands from the tree and helped her to stand.

Ibykos watched as Merope slid down the hill toward Pasiphae. He shouldn't have been sleeping. He should have been with Joxer. But he'd only be dead as well. Dead. The man had done so much. He'd worked through the entire night. It wasn't even his town, his people. Ibykos saw Merope reach to help Pasiphae up. He stepped down beside them and raised Pasiphae in his arms.

Pasiphae had sat at the fire for hours. No one could get her to speak, eat, anything.

It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair, all this death. Why bother? Why had they worked so hard?

Anastasius sat down beside her and put his hand in hers. "Pasiphae?" he said in a small voice. She turned and looked at the boy, and for a moment she saw Thrasius. She began to cry as she pulled the boy to her. Anastasius, who had been so strong, such a good helper, finally began to cry as well. Pasiphae felt the small child sobbing in her arms and drew back some to look at his tear stained face. He reached a hand up and brushed at the hair that was sticking to her eyes and face. "Don't cry, Pasiphae," he managed. She stroked his soft hair. "I won't. I promise. Thank you, Anastasius." She straightened a bit and looked around. "You know, we have a lot to do yet. Are you still going to be my helper?"

He wiped at his remaining tears. "Ah huh. Ibykos has already left to get help since there isn't anything else…"

"That's okay, Anastasius." Pasiphae stood and held out her hand to the boy. They walked back to the others.

Ibykos had returned with a cart and some supplies. They were prepared to leave, but they were waiting for Pasiphae. She had wandered away from the group and was standing before a mound draped in flowers. She looked out over the sea.

I know how bad it will be.

She'd had no idea, no idea at all.

I love you, Pasiphae. Please, as a friend, stay.

She had stayed. She had lost him.

"I will never be the same again." Pasiphae turned and left.

He could smell the sea. His eyes felt glued shut. His mouth was dry, his lips cracked and sore. He couldn't moisten them. He struggled to rise as he opened his eyes. The light was too intense. He raised his sore arm to shield his eyes. He was on the beach. He couldn't remember what he was doing there. Had someone beaten him up and left him here? He looked around. No, it wasn't a beach. It looked more like a cave. A small slit in the rocky wall. It was a wall, or had been. He didn't have room to stand. He didn't feel like he could. Gods, he thought his muscles were sore before… He had thought that, why?

He painfully crawled to the opening and stuck his head outside. Water, water everywhere, but… Poseidon? He shook his head and looked again. Poseidon rising from the ocean depths. No, not rising. Just standing there. He had a helluva a tan. Well, a little too metallic maybe. He swung his legs around to sit in the opening and stretched forward to tilt his head up and look above. There had to be some way out of here. He had gotten, or someone had gotten him, in here. Right? It wasn't that far to the top. He'd have to try and make it.

It had hurt, but he had made it. He lay there on the ground where he had collapsed after reaching the top.

I have to find some water, something to eat.

He raised his head up and saw a structure in the distance, a temple? He pulled himself back up and stumbled toward the building. It was in ruins. He had a flash of memory. He could see himself carrying someone in here, leaving him on a table. People had been sitting and lying on the floor, on the tables. She had been moving around the room checking on everyone. Ibykos had been more than a little afraid of her. He laughed to himself.

Her? Her. "Pasiphae!" He spun around. He ignored the pain, the dizziness. He went to the cliff. Cliff? It had been just a hill overlooking the city. But there was no city. No wonder he didn't remember where he was. It wasn't here anymore. Poseidon had been in a grove. He looked closer and could see the tops of the trees. A wall. By the Gods, the town was there. It was just under the sea. He held onto the tree. He could see Pasiphae being hit by the wave and going under. He searched around the temple. There was nothing. No trace of them. Had the water come up and taken them all and then receded? He had to find them. He had to know. He felt his legs begin to weaken under him. He had to eat, drink. He made his way to the river behind the temple. He knelt (fell) down and drank handfuls of the cool water. He lowered his head and let the water run over it. He sat back on his heels. He saw something shiny under the bush.

Hey, my helmet.

He could remember giving it to Pasiphae to use for gathering last ni__ well, whenever it had been. He grabbed at some of the berries and gulped them down hungrily. I'll have to do better than this, he thought. He looked around as he grabbed more berries.

Foraging wasn't new to him, but at this point it was exhausting. He had to sleep. He made his way slowly toward the nearest town. It had been hit as well, but there were still some buildings, and only a few injured people. He asked if they had seen or heard of any survivors from Helike. No one had. In any of the small villages. Burra had been hit as badly as Helike. But, it hadn't been submerged by water, no, it had been drawn back down into the earth. He turned back, maybe they had headed north. He grew stronger everyday, in body, if not in spirit. He couldn't sleep at night. His dreams were filled with Pasiphae, Canace, Thrasius, all the nameless others he had seen killed. During the days he continued his search. In every village the story was the same. There were no survivors. But he did survive. They could be wrong.

He worked in a tavern in northern Achaea for a few days. He would need the money if he were going to keep this up. He crossed the strait. She had loved it here. He stopped in the noisy tavern. Thought of how she had looked around the place, sizing it up. He left, his plate untouched. He wandered through town looking at the tables. He stopped abruptly at one and put his hand out. He felt the soft piece of fabric. Looked at its intricately woven design through blurred eyes. He handed the man what he asked for it. He didn't haggle with him, it was worth it.

Sorry, Jox. I know this is a bummer. It's the part of my job that really bites.

Aphrodite gives a little pout and then brightens.

But don't worry, babe, this isn't the end of your love life. I promise.

'Dite pops in beside her favorite wannabe warrior and brushes his cheek with a kiss and then leaves again in a swirl of light and flowers.

Joxer thought he could feel a kiss and he smelled flowers. He looked down at the fabric, smiled at the memory of Pasiphae, and continued on his journey.

Pasiphae thought about finding Xena and Gabrielle, to tell them how brave he had been. He was better than any of them had ever thought he would be. But, she had little 'Tasius to take care of now. Ibykos had family in a small village in the south. They could use some help in their tavern. She would grow old there raising 'Tasius. At night she would sit by the fire and tell the story of Joxer the Mighty, the man who had fought the earth shaker saving people from his evil vengeance. And how Poseidon had punished him for his selfless act by imprisoning him in his watery dungeon.

Joxer might have been a lousy warrior, but he made a great hero.

Epilogue

She stood looking out over the cliff. It was once a rolling hill, winding its way slowly down to the city. The city was completely gone now. A few remnants could be seen beneath the surface. But most had finally succumbed to the salt and tide. Even great Poseidon, who had so shaken the earth that fateful night, had been eroded by time. She remembered standing in the same place long ago, exhausted, emotionally and physically. She remembered her friend. His strength. His courage. His kindness. She couldn't help but think of him as he was then. Even now she could feel his breath on her, the warmth of him still near to her. She felt his hand in her hair, felt the soft caress of his hand on her face. "Oh, Joxer," his name escaped her lips in a soft sigh.

"Pasiphae."

She could hear his voice so clearly.

"Pasiphae?"

She turned. She looked up, up into those soft brown eyes. Yes, there were lines around them. Lines etched from years of laughter. He'd had a good life. His eyes were the same, deep brown. She knew when the light hit them there would a thousand colors there.

"Joxer."

She felt him place fabric in her hands. It was soft, worn. She looked down. It was old, faded. At one time she had thought it was beautiful, exotic.

Joxer took the fabric from her grasp. He placed it over her greying hair. Hair that was still soft and full. He let it fall down around her shoulders. He loved it when she wore her hair down.

"I knew it would look beautiful on you."

The End.

Xena: Warrior Princess is ©MCA/Universal and Renaissance Pictures.
©1999 Raye - This story is not to be sold/used for profit. Copies must include all disclaimers and copyright notices.

Disclaimer: Joxer's armor was lost at sea, unfortunately he found his helmet intact.

Author's notes:

Yiayia is Greek for grandma.

The Mr. Ed bit at the beginning of part seven is actually a reference to Plato and his teachings at the Academy Specifically- The Allegory of the Cave and the Divided Line - the world is divided into two separate planes: 1) visible - opinion: illusion and belief; 2) intelligible - knowledge: reason and intelligence I don't know, I gotta kick out of it anyway.

Helike is also referred to as Helice and Eliki
Burra is also known as Bura

The Greek historian Diodorus Siculus wrote (XV.48): "During their term of office great earthquakes occurred in the Peloponnese accompanied by tidal waves which engulfed the open country and cities in a manner past belief; for never in the earlier periods had such disasters befallen Greek cities, nor had entire cities along with their inhabitants disappeared as a result of some divine force wreaking destruction and ruin upon mankind. The extent of the destruction was increased by the time of its occurrence; for the earthquake did not come in the daytime when it would have been possible for the sufferers to help themselves, but the blow came at night, so that when the houses crashed and crumbled under the force of the shock, the population, owing to the darkness and to the surprise and bewilderment occasioned by the event, had no power to struggle for life. The majority were caught in the falling houses and annihilated, but as day returned some survivors dashed from the ruins and, when they thought they had escaped the danger, met with a greater and still more incredible disaster. For the sea rose to a vast height, and a wave towering even higher washed away and drowned all the inhabitants and their native lands as well. Two cities in Achaia bore the brunt of this disaster, Eliki and Bura, the former of which had, as it happened, before the earthquake held first place among the cities of Achaia. These disasters have been the subject of much discussion."
Found at: GeoProbe

More on Helike and the search for the lost city can be found at the following sites - Jacques Cousteau even gave it a whirl. No one found Joxer's armor.
GeoProbe / Eliki
GeoProbe / Search for Helike
Eliki

[7.24.6] There are also passages in Homer1 referring to Helice and the Heliconian Poseidon. But later on the Achaeans of the place removed some suppliants from the sanctuary and killed them. But the wrath of Poseidon visited them without delay; an earthquake promptly struck their land and swallowed up, without leaving a trace for posterity to see, both the buildings and the very site on which the city stood. 7,24,6,n1. See Hom. Il. 2.575, Hom. 8.203, Hom. 20.404.

Prometheus stole fire from the gods and gave it to mortals, carrying it away from Mount Olympus in a fennel stalk (a method of transporting fire that was used down into historical times). As a consequence, Zeus chained Prometheus to a rock where an eagle picked at his innards. Found at: Perseus Project