"God has given us many great things," The Father spoke to all that attended the funeral. "It is unfortunate that we lost one of our precious gifts so young." He took a breath and continued. "She have us strength, courage, and happiness. She has put a smile on everyone's face when she was around. All of us felt safe around her."
The few people that attended had enough love for her as if the whole world was there, caring for her. Giles, Joyce, Willow, Oz, Xander, and Cordelia. Each was dressed in black or dark colored Sunday clothes. They all tried to hold back the tears and the sobs.
Willow was the first to give in. She let all of her tears fall that she had been holding in. Hearing something that was true before, but not now. She could no longer make them smile or feel safe. *Why did she have to die?* Willow thought. Oz held her hand, trying to comfort her. She tried to just hold his hand while she cried, but she couldn't.
"Oh, God," she said softly and turned to Oz. She cried on his shoulder and he held her.
*I can't believe this happened. She was a very good vampire Slayer. She'll never have to deal with vampires again.* Oz thought. He held Willow to him, shushing her, telling her that everything will be okay. He wasn't going to let his tears fall, he needed to be strong for her. He held her tighter.
Giles took off his glasses and wiped his eyes with the handkerchief. He looked very stressed out and tired. *She was a very good slayer. Strong and flawless.* Giles thought. He didn't want to think about this too much. It hurt him a lot and it showed. He put his glasses back on and resumed half-way listening to what the Father had to say.
After Joyce had found out that Buffy was a vampire Slayer, she had viewed the night very different than she had before. Giles told her about Kendra being there to help and she had let Kendra live with her for the time being. She respected very much what both of them did. Or now, just one. As Joyce held on to Dominique, she let a few tears fall as she barely listened to the Father.
Xander and Cordelia just held hands. It was clear on Cordelia's face that she was holding in her tears.
"Why don't you just cry Cordelia? I mean it's obvious that your holding it in." Xander whispered to his girlfriend.
"Because. Then I'll run my mascara and ruin my makeup." Cordelia whispered back in a 'duh' tone.
"How can you even think about ruining your makeup at a time like this?" Xander asked back in a disbelieving tone. "A Slayer has died. Doesn't that make you sad or scared even the littlest bit?"
Cordelia didn't answer. She was filled with guilt about what she said. Letting it all sink in, she let out a few tears and thought about reality.
Xander pulled her in close and hugged her, telling her it was okay to cry and that everything would get better.
"And though we lay this beautiful, young girl to rest, we leave her with a song to remember her by." the Father closed the Bible and stepped aside the podium. He bend his head down as his said a prayer for them.
//If I could tell the world just one thing, it would be that we're all ok. And not to worry cuz worry is wasteful and useless in times like these.//
Willow, who was now no longer holding onto Oz, thought carefully about what the song meant. What it represented in the Slayer. Perhaps as a comforting thing or what she did for a living.
//My hands are small, I know, but they're not yours they are my own and I am never broken. Poverty stole your golden shoes but it didn't steal your laughter. And heartache came to visit me but i knew it wasn't ever after.//
Everyone had lowered their heads in respect, each saying a prayer of their own. Mostly, they all just wanted God to take care of her.
//In the end only kindness matters. In the end only kindness matters. I will get down on my knees and I will pray.//
As the song was almost finished, they all raised their heads, everyone teary eyed. One by one, they each went to say good-bye.
When Willow got close, she held her hands up to her face and cried. Oz went over to her and put his arms around her.
"It's okay," Oz said in a soft voice. "We have to say good-bye."
"I can't. I can't do it. I don't want to." Willow said.
"It's not forever. Here, I'll go with you." He took her hand and walked towards the coffin. He was stopped at arms length because Willow was where she was before. "It's okay." he said, trying to soothe her. She eased up and followed to say good-bye.
* * *
"Angel, I want to go. I have to." Buffy said, sitting up in her hospital bed.
Angel put a hand on her shoulder and pushed her gently back down to lay. "Your weak. The doctors said that you have to stay in bed until your blood pressure was back to normal." He winced as he said it. He was the reason why she was in here.
"Angel, it's Kendra's funeral..." Buffy let it her voice drift off. She closed her eyes, not wanting to believe that she was gone.
"No," he replied firmly. He had moved to where he was standing beside her.
"I'm fine. I can walk. I'm not the weakest person, you know." Buffy sat up once again in an attempt to get out of bed. She felt a little light headed and dizzy, but she didn't let it show. All she wanted to do was go see Kendra, one last time.
"Buffy, I know your not. I can see it in you. You can't lie to me."
"Angel, I have to." Buffy put on her puppy face and said a few childish pleas.
Angel kept a stern face. He wasn't going to about let her go.
"Fine, I don't need your permission to go." Buffy said stubbornly. She sat up quickly and attempted to get out of bed, once again. Fortunately for her, she was stopped and pushed back down. At least it made the room stop spinning.
Angel pushed her down, a little harder than before. "Buffy, you're weak. I'm saying whether you can or can't go. I'm not letting you go."
"Angel, you know you can't stay here forever. Someone's going to see you." Buffy tried her psychology skills on him. And then maybe she could get him out of here.
Angel simply replied, "You're right. I can't stay here forever and I don't intend to." He paused and watched as a small smile spread across her lips. Then he added, "Just until you're better. And I won't be seen. I lurk, remember?"
Her plan was ruined. *I guess you can't fool someone who's been around longer than your great, great grandparents.* She let out a sigh. "How did she die?" she asked in a small voice, almost a whisper.
Angel turned away from her and walked across the room. "Let's not get into this right now. We'll talk later, when you're all better."
"No. We'll talk now. You're always putting things off until later." Buffy wasn't going to have any of this.
"I don't have to talk about this now. I could just leave and avoid this conversation-" he was cut off by a chippy voice.
"And leave me here all alone where I could leave?" She sounded like a little innocent girl. She had her way. If he wasn't going to let her leave, he was going to discuss this with her. And if he left, she could leave. Either way she had him. *Maybe I can't fool him, but I can trap him. One point for the Slayer, zero for the dead guy.*
"I'm going to call Giles. I'm sure the funeral is over by now." Angel said as he picked up the phone by Buffy's bed. He dialed the library's number and waited for someone to answer.
Buffy watched him, listening to the one sided conversation.
"Giles, it's Angel." She supposed he was listening to Giles.
"Can you come down to the hospital?" He looked at her and she crossed her arms. He continued, "I need to go home and Buffy's going to bolt out of here without anyone watching her." He paused again. "Okay. Bye." Angel hung up the phone and walked across the room. "Giles said that he'd be here in a little while."
Buffy looked down at her clasped hands that were no longer crossed. In a whisper she said, "For the first time in my life, I was scarred of dying."
"What?" Angel asked, walking over to the side of her bed and sat down in a chair.
"I was a lot more scarred than when the Master killed me." Her voice was still a whisper and she continued to look down at her hands. "I...I," she stuttered, "never knew that I would die, or almost die in your hands."
"I'm sorry, Buffy." Angel said with empathy. He gently placed his hands over hers.
"It wasn't you," she rose her head to look at him. "It was Angelus."
"But what he did, I have to live with it." Angel looked down at Buffy's tiny hands under his. He let out a sigh.
"I know." Buffy said in a soft voice.
"How is everything?" They both looked at the door way and saw Giles.
"Everything's fine." he told Giles and then looked back at Buffy. "I'll see you later."
"Okay." She replied. She watched as he got up and went out the door.
Giles walked into the room and sat by Buffy. "How are you doing, Buffy?" He asked with much concern.
"I'm fine." She gave a little smile. "The doctors said that I can go home tomorrow night." Buffy said in a much happier voice. "They said I should have enough blood in my system so I can support myself. I'd only have to rest for a few days. So I guess that means no midnight slayage."
"Yes, of course. I'm glad you're getting better and that's you're back home." Giles was more than happy that his slayer was back.
"Good old Sunnydale. Nothing like being home on the Hellmouth." Buffy smiled and laid back. She couldn't wait to go home. "Giles, how did Kendra die?"
Giles took his glasses off and cleaned them. "A...a vampire attack. Drusilla killed her." He replaced his glasses on his face.
Buffy was shocked. "How?" She asked.
"She was out slaying one night and I'm supposing that Spike and Drusilla came up against her." Giles said. "You must know, Buffy, that she wasn't as skilled as you are in fighting. Of course she had put up a fight, but she wasn't fast enough. She didn't know her enemy."
Buffy couldn't believe it. She closed her eyes, fighting back the tears and making a promise to kill Drusilla and Spike for what they did. She opened her eyes. "Then how did you find her?" Buffy really didn't want to know after what happened to Miss Calendar, but she had to know.
"They left her in the library. She was just drained by the two vampires."
Buffy would certainly kill Spike and Drusilla for killing Kendra.
Chapter Nine
Sunnydale seemed like the city you saw in movies at night. The streets were dark and the city had an errie glow. The street lights weren't all the bright and seemed like they were getting dimmer and dimmer with each passing step.
Buffy's boots clicked on the pavement. She walk briskly on her way home from slaying. Her heart was beating fast from the previous fight.
Buffy heard an echo of someone's steps and just brushed it off as another person walking.
She continued to walk fast. Buffy patted her waist to make sure the stake that she had was there. She felt reassured that she was strong by the hard surface she patted.
A vampire jumped out in front of her. "Hello, cutie." The blonde haired vampire said. He had a British accent.
Buffy made a low sweep and tripped him. Spike got back up, but not before she got a good, hard kick in his side. The vampire put on his game face. They circled each other until Spike ran at her. The Slayer simply moved to the side when he got close and he fell to the ground.
"When will you ever learn?" She asked as went over and pinned Spike down. She slid out her stake and thrust it at his heart.
He quickly grabbed her hand, before the could get it in all the way. He flipped her over and grabbed the stake. Then he punched her face.
Spike backed off with the stake in hand. She got up, wiping the blood that she felt coming from her lip.
"I heard the most interesting thing, Slayer. It appears that you have a little one." Spike smiled. "You know toddlers have the sweetest tasting blood. They're so innocent."
"You'll have to kill me before you get her." Buffy said angrily.
"That's exactly what I'm planning to do." Spike said as he charged at her again.
Buffy punched him as he came up to her. Spike quickly recovered and tripped her. She got up and did a roundhouse kick on Spike, but he grabbed her foot and made her fall on her back.
He straddled her, pinning her down. "I never thought I'd be in this position, but hey, it works." Buffy struggled, but couldn't get free. Spike lowered the stake down to where it was pressing against her heart. "Now you can know what it feels like to get slayed."
"I don't think so." A voice said. Spike received a hard punch in the jaw. He rolled onto the ground.
"Well, looking here. It looks like someone wasn't invited here." Spike said as he got up.
The tall brunette answered, "Well, I think that having the title 'Slayer' pretty much gets me everywhere."
"Well, I'll be damned. Two slayers." Spike said before he ran off. He knew he couldn't handle two slayers.
The new slayer turned to Buffy and extended her hand to help her up. After Buffy was up, the new slayer said, "Hi. I'm Faith."
"I'm Buffy." Buffy greeted in return.
"What are you doing out at night?" Faith asked, concerned.
Buffy sighed. "Didn't you hear Spike?" she questioned. "Two slayers." Buffy repeated for Faith.
"So you're a slayer, too?"
"Pretty much. I've got to get home." Buffy said. "Why don't you come with me and I'll tell Giles, my Watcher."
"Okay." Faith agreed. Then they both headed for Buffy's house.
Rose, Chapter Ten
"Mom," Buffy called from the kitchen. She held Dominique on her side. "I'm going to see Angel."
At the mention of his name, Joyce came straight into the kitchen. "Why are you going to see him?" she questioned. She obviously wasn't very pleased that her daughter was going to visit him.
"Mom, I haven't seen him in over two weeks. I need to know how is doing. If he's well." Buffy said. She bent down and placed Dominique in a baby sling. It was blue was decorated with white sheep. Buffy stood back up. "He only saw his daughter once in the hospital." She let out a soft sigh.
Joyce couldn't believe what she was hearing. "How can you forgive him for what he did to you?" She brought back the memories of past events to her daughter.
"It's easy," She said. Joyce looked at Buffy, her eyes practically bulging out. "It wasn't him. Angel would never have treated me the way Angelus did. Besides, I love Angel. Nothing will ever change that. Nothing."
Joyce shook her head. "I don't see how you can do that."
Buffy looked her mom in the eye. "You may not be able to see how I can do that because you're not me." Her growing anger was apparent in her voice. "I'm alive because of him. He's saved me so many times that I can't count them all."
Buffy's mom let out a sigh. Perhaps one day she would understand. "Go, but if he hurts you-"
"Mom, he's not going to hurt me. If he does, I can hurt him. Remember? I'm the slayer." Buffy gave a thin smile as she opened the back door. "And it's day time." She adjusted Dominique so she was resting on Buffy's side again. Buffy picked her bag off the counter and threw it over her other shoulder.
"I love you, Buffy." Joyce said as the Slayer walked out the door.
"Love you too, Mom." Buffy said as she closed the door.
* * *
Buffy stood outside of Angel's apartment. He had decided that the mansion held worse memories than his apartment and moved back in. The Slayer knocked on the door. She peered down at her daughter, playing with her hair.
The door opened. "Buffy." Angel said slowly. He hadn't seen her in a while and wasn't planning to until he could apologize for what he'd done to her. She looked beautiful, more than he could ever remember. Her face was all he wanted to remember. He then looked at her side. His baby. Dominique she had named her. Angel continued to stare at her.
Buffy's voice broke his trance. "Can I come in?" She asked softly.
"Of course." He said, mentally yelling at himself for not inviting her in earlier. Once she was in, he shut the door.
"How are you?" Buffy asked as she turned to face him. She set her bag down on the coffee table.
Angel was still shocked by her coming here. His voice was shaky, not knowing what he wanted to say to her. "I...I'm doing good, you?" He walked her over to the couch.
Buffy took a seat and took Dominique out of the sling and held her in her arms. Dominique reached her tiny hands up and grabbed her mother's hair once again. Buffy looked down at her daughter and softly laughed. "Feeling better. It's nice to remember everything." Tears started building up in her eyes, but she was holding them back.
"Can I see her?" Angel said, ignoring the subject. He didn't want to see her cry, that was the last thing he wanted. Buffy carefully handed Dominique over to him. He held her in both of his arms, fearing that he would drop her. The vampire looked down at the tiny infant. He gave a small chuckle. "It's been so long since I've held a baby." he said softly. A smile crossed his lips as Dominique yawned.
All of a sudden, like the black of nigh, Dominique let out a cry.
"What did I do?" Angel asked quickly, afraid that he may of hurt Dominique.
"Nothing." Buffy laughed. "She's probably just hungry." She held out her hands, "Here, give her to me."
Angel handed her over. He expected her to walk over to her bag and grab out a bottle, the way that he'd seen every mother do now. What he didn't expect her to do was unbutton her blouse. "Buffy, what do you think you're doing?"
Buffy looked over at Angel. "What? I have to feed our child unless you want her to starve." She place Dominique close to her breast. She looked down at her daughter as she started eating.
Angel looked at Dominique suckle on her mom's breast. He smiled and looked at Buffy, "You know, I never thought you would breast feed her."
"I started to. I wanted to. I don't want to miss out on anything." She replied. They sat in silence until Dominique was done. Buffy buttoned back up her blouse and handed Dominique over to Angel where she fell asleep.
Angel looked at Buffy and saw that she was happy. He wondered if he should even bring it up. "Buffy," he began, "I'm so sorry for the way I treated you, for toying with you, hurting you, calling you something I shouldn't have, and for trying to kill you." His voice was low and full of guilt.
Buffy shook her head. "It wasn't you." she whispered softly. Her eyes were watery. She was trying not to remember her time with Angelus.
"It was! Can't you see? He's a part of me." He raised his voice. Why couldn't she see the way he had treated her?
"Would you ever do those things to me?" She questioned.
Angel looked at her, shocked. "What? Of course I wouldn't. You know that."
"Then it wasn't you." She said again.
Angel knew she was right, but he couldn't forgive himself for it. He didn't have anything to say.
"I better go." Buffy said. Angel handed her Dominique. She carefully placed her in the sling. "Mom's worried about me."
Buffy got up and walked to the door. Angel followed silently behind her. He picked her bag off the table and put it over her shoulder for her.
"Thanks." She gave a small smile. "Come by sometime, okay?" Buffy said sweetly. She knew that he didn't really feel comfortable around her and she didn't like that.
"Okay," Angel agreed.
Buffy wanted to kiss him good bye, but she didn't want to scare him away or move things too fast for him. So, she just gave him another smile. "Bye."
"Bye," he replied as he walked into one of the darker spots of the room.
She opened the door slightly, not wanting much sunlight to get in. Buffy quickly shut the door behind her.
Angel fell down to his knees, crying silently over the painful memories.
Rose, Chapter Eleven
"Hey, Willow." Buffy spoke into the phone. She rolled over on her bed. "Dominique's fine, she's finally sleeping." The Slayer let out a sigh. "Angel's fine. He feels like it's his fault. He keeps apologizing to me even though I told him it wasn't his fault."
Buffy rolled onto her stomach. She switched the phone to her other ear. "When he first came back, it was like nothing mattered. But now, I guess it all has finally caught up with him."
"I told him to come over sometime, but so far, it's been 2 weeks since I've seen him. He hasn't shown up when I patrol or called." Buffy let out another sigh. She didn't understand him.
"I'm tired. I'll see you tomorrow, okay?" Buffy sat up on the edge of her bed, staring into her mirror. "Goodnight," she said before clicking the phone off. She leaned over and set it on her dresser. Buffy picked up her brush in return.
Buffy took the brush in one hand and softly started to brush her hair. She ran it through her hair a few more times before setting it back down on her dresser. She stared at the mirror, at herself. She closed her eyes and let out a sigh. That's when she felt something in her hair.
The Slayer ran her hands through her hair to get whatever was there out, but gasped when she encountered another hand. She jumped off the bed quickly, turning around.
"God, you scared me!" Buffy almost yelled. She glanced over at Dominique. She was still sleeping.
"Sorry," Angel apologized. "I thought you knew. That's why you closed your eyes."
"How could I? You have no reflection." She told him as loudly as she could without waking up Dominique.
"Sorry," he apologized again.
Buffy sat back down on her bed. "Angel, what's going on here?" she asked him.
"What do you mean?"
"I tell you to come over and you don't until two weeks later." She told him in a tired voice.
"I had stuff to do," he said.
She didn't accept that. "More important than your daughter?" she asked harshly. In a softer voice, she added, "More important than me?"
He looked at her surprised. "Nothing is more important to me than Dominique and especially you." He was hurt.
"Then what 'stuff' was important?" Buffy asked, showing no sympathy for him.
He didn't have an answer. Angel stood up. "I should go," he said.
She obviously understood what his problem was. "You just got here. Besides, you can't keep going away every time we have this conversation. You have to talk about it." Buffy sat back down.
He sat back down next to her, knowing she was right. "I can't do it." He look at her. "Every time I look at you and every time I think of you, I remember what I-he did to you. You might not be here right now." he said, tears welling up in his eyes.
Buffy took his face in both her her small hands. "I'm here," she said softly. It hurt her to see him in pain. "It's in the past. What matters now is that we're both here."
"I know," he whispered. Angel closed his eyes.
Buffy kissed him softly on the lips. "I love you," she said.
"I love you, too." Angel answered back. He opened his eyes and looked into hers.
Buffy slid her hand down his cheek. "Angel?"
"Yes?"
A smile broke on her face. "How do you shave anyway?"