Introduction:

It has been quite a while since I wrote a fanfic and this is my first attempt at writing a historical fan fiction. It is a challenge for me as writer because the end is already documented somewhere in history thus, leaving very little room for creative writing. On the other hand, I have plenty of resource materials from the internet and history books.

Also, I found very limited options to publish my story. There are few and rare historical fan fictions of ancient China in the English language unless the movie/book/game became mainstream.

I was fascinated by Cao Pi and Zhen Ji while watching the Chinese tv drama "Legend of the Goddess Luo" (2013). The story itself was based on the poem written by Cao Zhi, the younger brother of Cao Pi. The rivalry between the brothers is well known in Chinese history. In summary, the poem/story was skewed in a certain direction, pairing Cao Zhi with Zhen Ji as star-crossed lovers and Cao Pi as the evil scheming brother. Whether there was an actual love triangle or square, historical records are silent. That's where I come in.

My fanfic will explore Zhen Ji's relationships with the men in her life as events lead to her untimely demise.

Due to protests from Dynasty Warriors fanfic readers, I have removed the story and re-posted it under Books section: Romance of the 3 Kingdoms. Apologies if I have offended anyone.

As I have limited knowledge of Chinese, the main source of info for me was Wikipedia and any English translations of any Chinese texts available, namely "Romance of the Three Kingdoms". I admit this is a handicap that hopefully, will not impede my readers.

In my fanfic, the following names will be used interchangeably-

Zhen Ji/Zhen Fu/Lady Zhen/Empress Zhen

Cao Pi/Zi Huan/Emperor Wen

Cao Zhi/Zi Jian

Cao Cao/Mengde

I am no expert in Chinese classics but I will try to add notes to the chapters to help clarify certain historical events, if my readers want to know more. Or you could google it to find out. :-) Hope you enjoy the story and please remember to leave your review!

A Girl Dreams

"This girl will become very noble in the future."

Today is the first day of Spring according to the Lunar Calendar, an auspicious day for my people. As I roused from my sleep, I could hear the servants of my household busy preparing for this day in hushed voices and hurried steps. Sleep eluded me as I could not wait for the festivities to start. The entire family would be offering prayers and we would be getting new clothes and yummy sweets.

Reaching out, I pushed open the latticed windows of my room and welcomed the first rays of the sun as it peeked out from behind grey skies, flooding the misty scenery with an orange glow. The cool breeze caressed by cheeks as I reveled in the sunlight.

The snow that blanketed my provincial town was beginning to thaw as the day gradually warmed. It had been an unusually cold winter in Zhongshan; the rivers were frozen solid and the trees stood starkly against the frost covered ground. It was as if life stood still like a painting.

I closed my eyes and smelled the sweet aromas emanating from the kitchens below, my imaginary painting interrupted by the growling of my stomach.

This is me, this little eight year old girl, perching on a chair by the window sill, still in my night clothes. The biting cold did not bother me as I blew out a warm breath, creating vapors like a fire breathing dragon.

I am Zhen Fu, daughter of Zhen Yi and youngest of five daughters. My family descended from a great general of the Han Empire and the emperor had granted him treasures and lands in return for his service in the imperial army. Eventually, he settled down in Zhongshan. His sword and armor still graced our main hall, a solemn reminder of the Zhens' loyalty to the emperor. My father was a magistrate of the imperial court of this province and my brothers held various important positions in the civil service. My mother was a lady from Changshan's nobility.

I led a privileged life in the Zhen household and I was the apple of my father's eye. The Zhen family were considered wealthy; we had lands, a beautiful mansion with a multitude of servants and many rooms. My mother once told me,

"Zhen Fu, when you were three years old, your Father took you to see a fortune teller. He told Father that you will become very noble when you grow up. Father was very happy and he said to me that when you are fifteen, you will be sent to the emperor's palace to serve the Heavenly Majesty…"

"'My Zhen Fu will make the family proud,' he used to proclaim…"

Mother then sighed. She had been less enthusiastic about the possibility but she did not dare argue with Father. From then on, Father made it his responsibility to tutor me in the language, writing and poetry. He envisioned that I would be as great as the Lady Ban Zhao, who was very wise and beautiful. I was taught how to behave like a lady and learn palace protocols. Alas, not long after that, Father passed away due to illness. Sometimes, I missed him and our tutorials in his library. And the way his stern features melted into a smile whenever I appeared at his doorstep, carrying bamboo scrolls, sheets of paper, brushes and ink. I often wondered whether my future would be different if Father had not visited the soothsayer.

Hmm, my elder sisters seemed to be doing fine without a prophesy or two...

"Aiyo! Daydreaming again…Come away from the window or you'll catch the deadly cold," a loud voice cried out, shattering my quiet thoughts.

Before I could explain, Zi Ma dragged me away and hurriedly closed the window, shuddering from the cold. With determined steps, she marched me to the bath house. Zi Ma was my nursemaid and servant since I was born. She was in charge of my well-being, oftentimes boisterous and loud in her protests if I did anything wrong. Zi Ma's daughter, Zi Yan was my playmate and we were of the same age.

My steaming bath had been prepared as the servants boiled the water on raging fire stoves. My night clothes were swiftly stripped away and I was told to get into the bath tub. Zi Ma proceeded to scrub me down.

"Your mother has asked me to get you dressed up and ready for morning feast. We must not waste time," she fussed.

I liked Zi Ma and have gotten used to her quirks and mannerisms. In all her actions, she meant well and I never begrudged her for it. She was like a second mother to me. My heart fluttered with excitement at the sight of my new clothes; a light pink robe with gold trimmings and exquisite embroidery of butterflies and flowers. The under-clothes were made from silk and the wool overcoat was warm and luxurious. Zi Ma expertly fashioned my long hair into buns and braids, held together by gold pins. Today, I felt like a princess!

As I slipped into my new pair of shoes, a servant knocked on my door. "Little Mistress, it is time. All the family members are already assembled at the great hall," he said, bowing his head.

Zi Ma quickly ushered me along the corridor towards the great hall, my dainty shoes tapping softly on the marble floor. Entering the great hall, I found the entire Zhen household had gathered, chatting animatedly among themselves. Briefly, I glanced at the familiar faces in the hall; Er Ge (Second brother), San Ge (Third Brother), my elder sisters Zhen Jiang, Zhen Tuo, Zhen Dao and Zhen Rong. My sibling's families were also present. Among us, Zhen Rong and I were the only ones that were not married. Father's other wives were also present. They were all dressed to the nines in a sea of resplendent colors. I made my way to Mother and greeted her with a bow and curtsy.

"Zhen Fu, there you are," Mother lovingly held me up. Then, turning to Er Ge, she said, "Now we can start the ceremony…"

I admired the way Mother was able command the respect and attention of everyone with her gentle yet firm manner. She was Father's first wife and hence, the grand matriarch of the household. Since Father and Da Ge (First brother) died, Er Ge was now head of the Zhen family. He was a tall and handsome man, an army officer with troops under his command. Er Ge was married to Lady Li from another village and they had a son together. Lady Li was many years Er Ge's junior, a little too giggly and immature for Mother's liking but she was nice to me.

All of us turned, knelt down and faced the grand altar where the ancestors' tablets were placed. Er Ge led the ceremony as we paid our respects to the dead. Later, we adjourned to the dining hall for the morning feast. A variety of fine dishes lined the tables as we took our seats. There was chicken, pork, duck, seafood and vegetables cooked in different ways; soups, stir-fried, grilled and baked to perfection. Not only did the numerous dishes signify our prosperity, each had a hidden meaning according to our traditions. Er Ge toasted to a fruitful past year and thanked the heavenly gods that our crops had doubled their yield, our coffers and grain stores full and looked forward to another amazing year ahead. Everyone raised their wine cups and drank the wine. The wine tasted bitter and it burned my throat as I tried not to make a sour face in front of Mother. I remembered her advice that well-bred ladies must contain their emotions and not show them in public. I knew Mother was quietly observing me the whole time and was quite pleased with my overall conduct. Inwardly, I was glad as I was on course to becoming a real princess.

When dessert was served, I recognized the sweets were Zi Yan's favorite so I looked around the hall, hoping to see Zi Yan among the servants but she was nowhere to be found.

If she was not here, she would meet me in my room later, I thought as I slipped a few pieces of sweets into my sleeve pocket. We would share it later.

After the feast, I hurried back to my room with the sweets that I had taken. As I rounded the corner, I bumped into Zhen Rong.

"Whoa! Where are you running off to?" she demanded, glaring at me as she rubbed her sore shoulder.

"I'm sorry, Sister," I mumbled.

Zhen Rong pointed to the direction from whence I came. "The balcony is that way…Don't you want to see the group of horse-riding performers outside our house?"

"Is this something a girl should watch?" I retorted, irritated by her haughty presumptions. I was hoping to see Zi Yan. She would have finished her chores in the kitchen and would be making her way to my room so we could talk.

"Of course! All of us enjoy the performance."

Zhen Rong answered airily, as if she was always right and then turning to me, she said, "Except you, Zhen Fu. You are the queer one!"

"I am not!"

"Yes, you are! You don't act like the other children your age and you don't enjoy playing games…"

"That's not true!"

"Even princesses play games, you know…Mother told me."

I was surprised. What did Zhen Rong know about princesses? Or worse, what did Mother tell her? The fortune teller's prophesy was meant for me only and it was supposed to be a secret that Mother and I shared.

"What do you mean?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"Zhen Fu in her own little world," she sneered. "Mother said when you are fifteen, you will be sent to the palace to become a princess… Well, I want to go to the palace and become a princess too."

Aghast, I cried, "You can't!"

"And why not? I am more beautiful than you. I know how to dance, sing and play the erhu. All you know are useless things like books. No emperor will like you," she accused, pointing her grubby little finger at me.

I swatted her hand away from my face. "You are a liar!"

Anger rose within me as I shoved her back. "Go away! I don't want to see you ever!" I yelled, hurt by her words.

Zhen Rong stood her ground defiantly. "I will not! And you can't make me…"

All hell broke loose as we started pushing, kicking and shoving, pulling at clothes and hair. Zhen Rong was older than me and stronger. Her nails dug into my arms as I screamed out. Suddenly, a pair of hands grabbed me and pulled me back.

"Stop it, Zhen Rong!"

"That's enough, Zhen Fu!"

I turned around and saw Zi Ma holding me while another servant restrained Zhen Rong.

"She started it first," Zhen Rong accused in a shrill voice as I glared daggers at her.

I hate her! I hate her!

"Enough!" Mother's voice thundered as she came to see what the ruckus was about. "Is this the way a lady should behave? Shame on you! Both of you, in my room now!"

Zhen Rong and I were made to kneel in front of Mother as she sat in her favorite chair. The sweets in my sleeve pocket had been scattered on the ground and ruined in the fight. No one was allowed to speak. The silence was deafening as we awaited our punishment. I could see the palpable disappointment on Mother's face as she glared at both of us. Zi Ma who was in the room with us shook her head silently, pleading me to not make a sound. There was no excuse for my poor behavior earlier and no amount of begging could make it better. I hung my head in shame.

"Both of you behaved like a pair of quarreling prostitutes on the street! You have disgraced the Zhen family name…"

My sister started to bawl her eyes out. Her new clothes were soiled and her hair was disheveled. I was equally distraught as hot tears began to roll down my cheeks.

"Quiet!" Mother's words silenced her wailing.

"Both of you are my daughters and I am ashamed of your behavior this morning," Mother's words were cold like steel, "If today was not an auspicious day, I would have the both of you punished severely! Now, go back to your rooms. Both of you will not be allowed to attend the dinner feast tonight…"

Zhen Rong opened her mouth to protest, but thought the better of it and kept it shut.

Many important guests would be invited to the house tonight; dignitaries, generals and well-known personalities in our province would be attending the grand dinner. I thought about the delicious food, the music, poetry and fireworks that would be the highlight of the night. I had been waiting for this dinner feast and it was such a shame to miss it. In my house, Mother's word was law and there was no one who could dare challenge it.

"Quickly, Zhen Fu… Thank your mother for showing mercy," Zi Ma urged as she helped me up.

Now both my knees were sore and my pride injured. "Thank you, Mother for showing mercy," I muttered softly.

"Go!" Mother commanded the both of us to leave.

She refused to even look at me as I made my way back to my room.

Zi Ma tended to the scratches on my hands and face. "Lucky for you, the wounds are superficial ones. They will heal quite nicely," she said as I sat in front of the mirror. The reflection I saw was a young girl whose eyes were puffy from crying, a red nose from too much rubbing and pale lips. In truth, Zhen Rong was more beautiful than I was and I began to wonder if the prophesy was all a lie.

As if she read my thoughts, Zi Ma said, "Do not worry about what Zhen Rong said to you. I heard the servants talking about it. She is just a silly little girl. You, my dear Zhen Fu are so much more than just a pretty face. Mark my words. Kingdoms will fall because of you."

Somehow, her words bore little comfort.

Many years had gone by since that fateful day. The news of the death of Emperor Ling had spread across the land and soon, the country entered a chaotic period because the central government's authority had weakened, and regional officials and warlords started fighting each other in a bid to gain supremacy. A period of unrest had begun. Border skirmishes were becoming a common occurrence. Er Ge and his troops often had to fend off bandits and defend Zhongshan from attacks of rival lords. Severe famine and floods added to the burden of the common people who suffered terribly.

Meanwhile, safe within the confines of our mansion, I spent most of my time in Father's old library, reading books and using Father's writing materials. This was my hideaway, a place where I was able to focus on advancing my knowledge and appreciate poetry. Later, I began to take interest in music, play the flute and study dance. Zi Ma allowed me into the kitchens to learn cooking and baking while Mother taught me how to sew and embroider clothing. I diligently studied all I could so that I could be the person that Father would be proud of, prophesy or not.

Er Ge often teased me that I was planning to become a female academician. "You should be learning what women traditionally do, like cooking, sewing and weaving…"

Lifting my head, I coolly replied, "I heard that virtuous women in history learnt from the successes and failures of those who lived before them. If they don't read, how did they learn all that?"

Of my siblings, only Er Ge was close to me. He was very much like Father in his behavior - he understood my academic interests and my motivations which partially stemmed from Father's belief that I would be someone great one day. We spent most of our time discussing poetry and scholarly writings, occasionally playing a game of chess.

When I was thirteen, I asked Er Ge if he would send me to the palace when I was ready. He looked sad and reluctant to broach the subject. "Zhen Fu, do you really want to do this? The new emperor is weak and unable to control his subjects, the country is in chaos and the journey to the capital is too dangerous for a young girl like you…"

"Then the emperor needs my help," I said determinedly. "He needs someone at his side that he can trust…"

"You mean someone like you?" Er Ge lifted an eyebrow.

"Yes. It is my duty to serve the heavenly king…"

Er Ge only laughed and did not take me seriously. "Zhen Fu, one day you will learn that the world is not like the fairy tales that you read… Won't it be better if you chose to marry someone from our village and stay near to your family? I heard from Mother that some of our neighbors have started inquiries for your hand in marriage…"

I shifted uneasily in my seat and hoping against hope, I pressed on. "But you will send me to the palace, am I right?"

Shaking his head incredulously, he relented, "Yes, when the time is right, Zhen Fu…"

Er Ge was right about the marriage rumors. Zi Ma has also kept me abreast with the latest gossip about which family had approached Mother. Zhen Rong was recently wedded to a wealthy family in the next village and I was the last one to be married.

One night, I woke up to a scream and then the loud roar of fire. The servants were shouting and running about in panic as the fire enveloped the entire room, silken hangings and spreading fast. The terror in their voices told me that it was bad. The night swirled with smoke and cymbals clanged.

War is upon us! I thought frantically.

"Mother!" I cried out in fear.

"Zhen Fu, wake up!" Zi Ma gasped as she burst into my room. "Heavenly God, save us, they are attacking the town…They will rape the women and murder the children!"

I dashed outside with Zi Ma, night clothes flapping at my legs. The courtyard was ablaze, sparks pouring up into the dark night sky, like fireflies.

Dazed and confused, I did not know where to run or where to go. Suddenly, out of the flames I saw Er Ge, in his army uniform kicking down doors and checking each room for survivors. Zi Ma cried out to him. "Save us! We shall be burned!"

"Come with me, quickly!" he commanded, no trace of fear in his voice.

Together with a group of sobbing women and children that he had rounded up, he led us out of the mansion and told us to head into the forest and hide ourselves. "Stay with your nurse, Zhen Fu. I have to go back and look for more survivors," Er Ge said.

Without hesitation, Zi Ma grabbed my hand and ran towards the hills to safety. I turned around and saw Er Ge riding back into the blazing inferno, the firelight glinted off his armor. A sinking feeling settled in the pit of my stomach as I cried out in panic, "Er Ge! Er Ge!"

He turned over his shoulder and replied, "I will come back for you, Zhen Fu… I have to do this now."

Helpless, I watched Er Ge ride away. "Er Ge, Please don't leave me…"

Zi Ma and I stumbled and crawled our way in the forest with little light to show us the path. None of us really knew where we were going, just that we needed to get away as far as possible from the burning town. Thorns and stones cut my hands and feet until they bled. Finally, we came across an abandoned shed and spent the night there. We tried to make ourselves warm by building a small fire out of dried twigs. I lay awake, rigid on the hard floor, wondering if Mother and the others had made it out safely. Zi Ma too tossed and turned restlessly – she must be worried about her own daughter, Zi Yan.

In the morning, Er Ge had not come for me. For the first time in my life, I had some sense of the danger he had run into to save us. Slowly, it dawned on me that he may not come back, that life was not like a fairy tale, where a vain hope was triumphant and the hero was never cut down in his youth. If Er Ge could fail and die, then can I? Little Zhen Fu?

I was puzzled over this strange world that was opening up before me, this world that was cruel and unrelenting, where innocent women and children were cut down like flies.

He will come back, I thought, suddenly doubtful. He will come back!

We left the shed and sought help from an old couple who were fur trappers. I was filthy, cold, tired and hungry. Zi Ma had told them that we were mother and daughter, who had fled the carnage in the town with nothing but clothes on our backs. We had no silver nor any jewelry but the couple took pity on us and graciously shared their food and offered us shelter.

After two days as refugees, we were grateful for whatever they could offer; watery gruel and a few pieces of dried meat, water to wash ourselves and a roof over our heads. News of my hometown had been slow and unreliable. We dared not venture out on our own, in case we ran into bandits or soldiers.

One day, a search party arrived, soldiers bearing our family banner. Zi Ma was overjoyed as she recognized one of them. "They have come to escort us back!"

Grateful for the humble hospitality shown us by the couple, I asked the captain to give them a few pieces of silver. "My brother will reimburse you and whatever that you require," I told the young man.

He looked down and sighed. "Little Mistress, your brother, Zhen Yan is dead. He was killed in battle."

I stumbled back in shock. No, no, no…

Shaking my head in denial, I sobbed, "It cannot be! Er Ge said… He said he would come back for me."

"It was your Mother who ordered the search party… We have been searching for you for over five days now."

Er Ge was dead for five days and I did not know about it. Tearfully, we hurried back to the mansion and as I looked out from our carriage window, I noticed the charred roof and what remained of our house. It was still standing tall amidst the ruins surrounding us. The stench of burnt rot and death assaulted my senses. I had not realized how bad the situation was until now. We were lucky to escape when we had the chance.

White lanterns hung at the main entrance as we rushed in. All I wanted was Mother. She was at the main hall, anxiously pacing when we came in. "Zhen Fu!" she cried out and snatched me into her arms. "Thank heavens, you are alive!"

When Mother released me, she was crying. It shocked me that Mother had suddenly aged, white streaks covered her shiny black hair while lines had appeared on her smooth face. This tragedy had deeply affected us. My other siblings then surrounded us, hugging and sobbing loudly.

"We were so worried about you."

"We thought you were dead."

"You have lost weight, my child… You poor baby."

Overwhelmed by emotions, I fell to my knees and said, "I have caused you so much grief, Mother. Please forgive me."

"Silly child!" Mother said. "I have already lost a son… I cannot bear to lose another child. I thank the gods for bringing you back to me. You must go to your room and rest. You have had a long and hard day…"

I shook my head. "No, Mother. I must pay my respects to Er Ge. He save my life… Please tell me, where is he buried?"

Mother took a deep but shaky breath as she instructed a servant to show me the way. Er Ge was buried next to Father in our family burial plot. His tomb was freshly dug, the gravestone had not been placed there yet. I burnt offerings and lit candles as I knelt down and wept.

"Er Ge, you gave your life for me… I, Zhen Fu will be eternally grateful and will cherish this forever. Pray for us in heaven, especially Mother. She had suffered so much… I promise to take care of your widowed wife and orphaned son so your soul will be at peace."

I bowed three times at his grave. My head began to spin from the anxiety and strain of the past few days. Before I realized what was happening, my vision blacked out as I collapsed into Zi Ma's arms.