It was his fault. Him and his zen. He had hurt the only person that actually thought he would make something of himself one day. He'd completely shattered the only girl he would ever love and then made it that much worse by blaming her in an attempt to make himself feel better. It didn't work.
It was his fault. He had jumped to conclusions instead of confronting her and made one of the biggest mistakes of his life. He'd cheated on her specifically to hurt her. He'd acted like a complete dill hole when she didn't immediately choose him. He'd gone out with another girl when she did. Then when she'd tried to get him back, instead of being grateful like any sane person would've been, he'd made it hard for her. Wow he was an idiot.
It was his fault. She wasn't asking for that much. She just wanted to know they had a future together. She just wanted a maybe. He did see her in his future; he couldn't imagine one without her. He loved her. But instead of telling her that he hid behind his stupid zen and let her walk away .twice.
It was his fault. Apparently he hadn't learned his lesson the first time, because once again he jumped to conclusions and once again he'd done something hurtful to punish her for a crime she didn't commit. It was like going back in time, except this time it had been so much worse. He'd taken the thing that she had desperately wanted and given it to someone else. Not just someone else a stripper. Still all of these things would've eventually been forgiven if he'd gotten the marriage annulled immediately and groveled for a few days. Instead he stayed married and flaunted it in front of her at every opportunity. Instead he played on the insecurities and secrets she'd shared with him and used them to hurt her.
It was her fault because she was always the one to back down.
It was her fault because she never made him chase after her for a change.
It was her fault because she let him.