Hey, Mr. President
A JONAS fanfic by phoebenpiper
- - -
As the Lucas brothers walked into school Wednesday morning, they were confronted by a huge banner suspended across the hallway:
"Do you care about Horace Mantis Academy? Do you want to make a difference, to make things better for your fellow students? Then sign up now to run for Student Council."
"Student Council?" Joe scoffed. "What kind of NERD would want to run for that?"
Glaring at his brother, Nick cleared his throat and gestured to the sign hanging directly below the banner:
"Vote for Nick Lucas, Student Council President."
"Ohhhhhhhh," Kevin exclaimed, catching on. "THAT kind of nerd."
Joe shook his head. "Nick, you can't be serious."
Nick looked at his brother meaningfully. "When am I ever NOT serious?"
"Good point," Kevin agreed. Turning to Joe, he pointed out, "He has a point."
"And so do I," Joe said. "Why on earth would you want to run, Nick? Only NERDS run for Student Council."
Kevin looked thoughtful as he replied, "I think you just answered your own question, bro."
Nick glared at Kevin before responding to Joe's question. "Because I care about Horace Mantis Academy. Because I want to make a difference, to make things better for my fellow students."
"Why does that sound so familiar?" Kevin asked, staring blankly up at the recruiting poster.
"Think about it, guys," Nick continued. "My nickname is 'Mr. President' – don't you think it's about time I fulfilled that destiny?"
Before his brothers could answer, they were suddenly joined by a pretty blonde girl.
"Hey, Nick," she said. "So what do you think of the campaign poster I made?"
Nick smiled goofily. "It looks great, Jessie."
"And we're still on for this afternoon, right?"
"Absolutely." Nick nodded. "Another three or four hours of brainstorming and I'm sure we'll come up with the perfect campaign slogan."
"I hope so," Jessie giggled. "See you later, Nick."
"Yeah, see ya," Nick said dreamily as the girl walked away down the hall.
During this exchange, Joe and Kevin had been looking back and forth between Nick and the girl like they were watching a ping pong match. But now that Jessie was gone, Joe leveled his glare directly at his younger brother.
"You're not doing this for the school," he accused. "You're doing this for HER!"
"That's not true," Nick said, his sappy grin once again replaced by his trademark serious expression. "I CARE about the student body." Nick suddenly got that dreamy look in his eye again as he added, "Especially Jessie's student body."
"Nick!" Joe said, snapping his fingers in front of his brother's face to bring him back to the present. "I'm not gonna let you risk your reputation just for some girl."
"I think he already HAS that reputation," Kevin pointed out helpfully.
Before Nick could defend himself, Stella's voice carried down the hallway: "Oh, hey, VanDyke."
"Hey, Stella," VanDyke said, smiling his goofy athlete smile. "So I don't know if you've heard, but I'm running for Student Council President. And since you're smart and stuff, I thought maybe you could be my campaign manager."
Stella smiled at the compliment. "Aw, thanks, VanDyke. I'd love to--"
"But she can't!" Joe was suddenly at Stella's side, finishing her sentence for her.
"She can't?" "I can't?!" Both VanDyke and Stella wanted an explanation.
"No she can't," Joe repeated as his brothers walked over. "Becauzzzzzzzzzzz...," Joe tried to make the word last as long as possible as he frantically searched for a decent explanation, looking to his brothers for help. Kevin, however, had an eager look of curiosity on his face, clearly not aware that Joe HAD no explanation. And while Nick merely stood there blinking stoically, Joe noticed the corners of his brother's mouth were ever so slightly raised, indicating Nick was highly amused at seeing Joe in this predicament and had no intention of helping him out.
Joe started to sweat as he realized Stella was tapping her foot impatiently, so he burst out the first thing that came to mind:
"Because Stella is already MY campaign manager!"
- - -
"So what's your platform?" Stella had her notebook out on the lunch table, ready to take notes.
"Platform?" Joe looked confused. "Nick's usually the one on the platform. It makes him taller so the audience can see him sitting at the drums behind us."
Stella rolled her eyes. "I MEAN your 'campaign' platform. As your campaign manager, I need to know what you're planning to do as Student Council President. You know, WHY you're running."
"Yeah, Joe, why ARE you running?" The corners of Nick's mouth were twitching with amusement again, infuriating Joe.
"Hey, Nick, this is a PRIVATE campaign meeting," Joe complained.
"In the middle of the lunchroom," Nick calmly pointed out.
"C'mon, Joe, let's just concentrate," Stella encouraged. "This afternoon, why don't you make a list of all the things you want to do as President..."
"Fly in Air Force One!" Joe burst out excitedly.
"STUDENT COUNCIL President," Stella clarified. "In the meantime, let's start working on your campaign slogan. It needs to be simple, catchy, something everyone can remember."
"Sloppy Joe!" Kevin said as he set down his lunch tray next to his brothers.
"Yeah, that's a good one," Joe said enthusiastically . "It's simple, catchy, easy to remember. 'Sloppy Joe'," he said, miming an imaginary sign with the slogan across it.
"Sloppy JOES," Nick explained, pointing to Kevin's tray. "It's not a campaign slogan – it's what's for lunch."
Stella shook her head. "And a slogan shouldn't really point out the FLAWS of the candidate," she explained, pointing to the chocolate pudding Joe had spillt on his shirt. "A slogan should remind people of the candidate's accomplishments."
Nick nodded. "'Tippecanoe and Tyler, too' – now THAT was a great campaign slogan."
Joe looked devastated. "Tyler Shipman is running for Student Council President, too?!"
"Not Tyler Shipman," Stella said, shaking her head. "John Tyler – he was William Henry Harrison's vice presidential candidate."
"So why would he need to tip over a canoe?" Kevin asked, very confused.
Nick sighed in frustration. "Harrison was a hero at the BATTLE of Tippecanoe back in 1811. So the campaign slogan reminded everyone that he was a hero." Nick realized his brothers were staring back at him blankly. "Don't either of you EVER pay attention in history class?"
"No," Joe and Kevin answered in unison.
Stella shook her head. "But Nick's right. We need a campaign slogan that will remind people what you're good at." She considered this for a moment before asking, "So what exactly ARE you good at, Joe?"
Joe shrugged. "I'm hot."
Kevin nodded in agreement. "He's right – he IS hot."
Nick shook his head. "But how is THAT gonna win you an election? Remember, not all the voters are girls – half the student body is male."
"Some males find me hot," Joe insisted.
"Yeah, LOTS do," Kevin added. "The guys in Drama Club and Glee Club and the entire wrestling team – they ALL think Joe's hot."
"They do?" Joe smiled smugly.
Nick rolled his eyes. "This isn't a beauty pageant, Joe. This is a Student Council campaign."
Stella nodded. "And I know just the thing."
- - -
Macy sighed happily as she looked at the campaign posters adorning the hallway. Next to Nick's simple poster now hung a giant photo of Joe pointing straight out, framed by the words:
"Joe wants YOU
to vote for SC Prez!"
As the oldest Lucas brother started to walk by, Macy hurried to catch up to him.
"Kevin, Kevin, Kevin," she called. When Kevin stopped and turned to her, she continued, "I hear through the grapevine that both Nick and Joe are running for Student Council President."
Kevin nodded. "We must listen to the same grapes."
"Uh, yeah," Macy said, confused, before going on. "But as president of the JONAS fan club, this is absolutely unacceptable!"
Kevin looked surprised. "The fans don't want them to run?"
Macy shook her head. "No, the fans don't want only PART of JONAS to run! Just think how devastated one-third of the fans are gonna be when they find out they can't vote for their favorite JONAS."
Kevin smiled proudly. "One-third of the fans have me as their favorite?"
Macy looked embarrassed. "Well, maybe not an ENTIRE third. But whatever – at least one tenth of the fans will be devastated."
Kevin shrugged. "But what can I do? I don't know anything about Student Council, let alone running a campaign."
"Me neither!" Macy said excitedly. "But I'd totally love to be your campaign manager, if you're willing."
"Sure, why not?"
"Great!" Macy hurried off down the hall, calling back, "I'll get the news out on the JONAS website right away – the fans are gonna be so psyched!!"
- - -
TO BE CONTINUED