The Secret Thoughts of Abby
I put myself into Abby's head for some of season 14. Yes I have changed some events and feelings. I have also changed the order of things and I will continue this story with a somewhat different path than what the show takes. Please rate and review as this is the first story that I posted on here…be nice!
Chapter 1
Today I lost the love of my life, Luka.
He flew off to Croatia and all I could do is think about how I have to go to the rehab center tomorrow to fix myself. I hate the person that I am and I know that if I don't change who I am soon than I will loose Luka and Joe forever.
I am not sure if Luka still loves me anymore but I know that Joe loves me as he gives me plenty of kisses and hugs when I get home from the hospital.
Oh how I remember the day that his baby sitter brought him into the ER covered in blood. He apparently fell on the playground but his injuries seemed to be worse than any that you could get there. Luka was in Croatia during this time taking care of his sick father so I completely blamed myself for everything that happened. It was my fault that he got hurt, I hired that baby sitter, if I didn't have to work all the time than I could have watched him better.
I can always think of reasons why it could have been my fault but others reassured me that it was the babysitters fault and that there was nothing I could do to stop it even though I still blame myself.
Remember that night with Moretti? I wish that night never happened; I wish that I never started drinking as a teenager. Maybe if I said no to that first drink then my life wouldn't be like this. I would just be living with my husband and baby in the city. I dream about it all the time.
What if my life were different? What if I had never met Luka? What would have happened if I said yes to Carter? All these things I replay in my mind like an old television show; over and over again until I have it memorized. So many things have happened this year and I don't know what to do anymore.
Neela keeps telling me that I will get through this and in the end everything will turn out ok but I have no faith in myself. With my luck Luka and Joe will never come back from Croatia. Luka could start a family with a new woman and I would be left here in Chicago with no husband and no baby. I would have basically wasted my whole life because I can't live without Joe or Luka in my life, I love them dearly and I just hope they feel the same.
I remember when I first told Luka that I slept with Moretti, It was so hard for me to get enough guts to even tell him but I had to because he knew that something was going on. I thought that when I told him he would understand that I was drunk and I wasn't thinking straight but he didn't, he flipped out on me and left the apartment for the night. To this day is still don't know where he went but I am sure he was pissed at me. Things never go the way I plan, and that way always seems to hurt. I feel like I can't do anything right anymore, every decision that I make is the wrong one and I can't get myself on the right path again.