Seeing What Can't Be Seen
Chapter 1
Something….Beautiful?
My name is Nanoha Takamachi and….I'm blind. I've known since I was a little girl since I couldn't see anything, but could hear. I always wanted to know what it would be like to have sight….. just to be able to see the beauty of the world or….just to even see my reflection in the mirror but….. with no miracle or a way of that happening, I've been blind for the twenty years I've been alive. Life was really hard, but with the use of my other senses, mainly touch, I've been able to see things without really seeing it. Just being able to touch things, I could use my imagination and see things in my mind. And with this sense alone, I could finally accept my disability and found joy in the world. Life's good for me now. I live on my own, but of course mom can't help but check up on me almost every day. I have a great job helping blind children, but with all those good things, there's still something that I'm missing….something that I've always wanted…..
I was currently on my way to work when out of nowhere, I felt myself fall to the ground after I felt someone bump into me. I was sure that people could tell a blind person when they see one. I mean, I have a white cane and he didn't even help me up. People can really be jerks sometimes.
"You could have at least helped her up. You can see that she's blind" some unknown voice spoke exactly what I wanted to say. "I swear. People can definitely be jerks sometimes" After a sigh, she continues. "Are you okay?" A sweet concerned voice came.
"Yes I'm fine". As I tried to get up, I was having a little trouble finding something to hold on to.
"Here, let me help you" Came the sweet voice again as she guided me to my feet.
Even though I couldn't see her, I knew she was beautiful. The hand that was holding mine was soft and warm. The arm that was holding my back, I could feel that it was toned and slender. And her voice was so beautiful that I knew for sure that she was just that…..beautiful. Too bad I couldn't see her.
"Thanks for helping me up" I said smiling, which I hoped showed my gratitude.
"No problem….um?"
"Nanoha….my name's Nanoha"
"Well it's nice to meet you Nanoha. The name's Fate" I may be blind, but I could tell that she was smiling.
"It's nice to meet you as well Fate. Well I have to go to work. Thanks again"
"Okay. Well be careful" I could tell by the sound in her voice that she was hesitant about letting me walk alone. For some reason, it made me happy.
"I'll try. Have a good day"
"You too" and with our good-bye said, I continued my journey to work.
Was it just me, or are my blind senses tingling? Even though I couldn't see it, I had a sense that her eyes were still watching me. And for some reason, I wished that I had my sight more than I ever wanted it. I had to have walked maybe ten steps before I felt an arm wrap around my back. Even though I was scared, I was then put at ease because of the familiarity I felt with that arm.
"Sorry Nanoha. Did I scare you?" Came Fate's voice.
"Yes you did. I thought you left" I said still wondering why Fate decided to walk with me.
"Yeah I did, but then I couldn't help but want to make sure that you got to work safely. So I figured that I would escort you to your place of work"
"You didn't really have to do that Fate"
"I know, but I would feel better just knowing that you wouldn't get pushed down again as long as I walk with you" I felt myself blushing and I really don't know why. Maybe it's because of how concerned she is about me.
I sighed. "Okay if it would make you feel better, then do as you wish" And with that said, we made our way to my job. I couldn't help but think that whole walk, why was she helping me?
After that day, I found myself walking with Fate every day that I went to work for the next six months that followed. I was amazed at how eager she was about walking me to work, but I didn't mind because I wanted her to. I never really had friends growing up mainly due to my blindness, so I was really happy that I could finally have someone to really talk to.
It was Friday morning and Fate met me at the usual time and we enjoyed walking together and chatting with each other until I made it to work.
"Thanks Fate for walking me to work again. I really enjoy your company" I said smiling. It was the truth. I really did enjoy being with her.
"Yeah me too Nanoha. More than you'll ever know". I could hear the sincerity in her words and that made me even happier.
"See you Fate and do have a good weekend"
"You too Nanoha" I then began finding my way towards the entrance to my job before I was stopped by Fate's voice.
"Um….Nanoha?" I could hear nervousness in her voice, which made me very curious to know what she had to say.
"Yes Fate?"
"Would it be okay if I can escort you home tonight?" It was like I could feel the nervousness in the air. I could tell that she was really scared to ask me since she had only walked me to work in the mornings.
"Sure Fate. I would love that." I was excited that Fate would be walking me home, but I kept my composure. I didn't want to seem like some crazed school girl or something, but for some reason, I found myself being that way all the time. I think that me finally having a friend for my own had made me really want to be with her a lot. Yeah….I think that's it.
Finally after six hours at work, the time has come for Fate to walk me home. I made my way to the exit and there waiting was Fate….well after hearing her voice I realized she was.
"Hey Nanoha. How was your day?"
"Long"
"Yeah me too" We shared a laugh. "Shall we go then?"
"Yes please". We spent the next ten minutes talking about our day and other things. I found out that I've never laughed so much in my life before I met Fate. I'm really happy that I met her. We made it to my house eventually and were currently standing in front of my door.
"Well this is me. Thanks for walking me home"
"You're welcome"
"Well good night Fate"
"Good night" As I turned to unlock my door, "Nanoha will you go out with me?" What she said seemed kind of rushed and…. did she just ask me to go out with her? I quickly turned around; pretty sure shock was written all over my face.
"I mean, would you accompany me to get some food?"
"How about this? How about you come over tomorrow and I'll fix you some dinner. I may be blind, but I can cook one hell of a meal.
"S-sure"
"Okay, come pass at seven.
"See you at seven"
~0~
I have been up for awhile now and believe me when I say I've never stayed up past my bedtime. And guess who's the reason for this. Of course it's Fate. Since I thought Fate was going to ask me out, my heart still hasn't settled down yet. Why? This is so frustrating. Fate's my friend and nothing more. I wouldn't fall in love with her for being the only person that's respected me and accept me for me and cared for me…..would I? Yes, love is something that I always wanted to experience but…. she's a girl. I've never been attracted to girls before…..or men for that matter. No one has ever shown interest in me before, so I never had the chance to be attracted to anyone. Then….what is this…. stirring in my heart? Ugh.
Dinner time
"Hey Nanoha. Thanks for inviting me for dinner" Fate said after I opened to door to let her in.
"Well it's the least I can do for you walking with me to work. Please come in"
"You have a nice home Nano- wow something smells wonderful" If I could see her face, she was probably drooling because that's how she sounded referring to my food.
"Thanks. It's my famous spaghetti. You're in for a real treat"
"I can't wait to try it" I then made my way to the kitchen in order to fix the plates of food.
"Do you need any help?"
"No I'm fine. Just sit on the couch and I'll bring it to you"
Soon I had the plates ready and walked over to Fate. "Here you go Fate. Enjoy!"
"I'm sure I will" Fate said taking the plate of food away from me. She must have been hungry because she didn't waste any time to start eating.
"Wow Nanoha. This sure is great" I could have just laughed at how she sounded at that moment. It was like a kid in a candy store.
"Well I'm glad that you like it"
"How did you learn to cook?"
"My mom taught me how. It was really hard at first, but she taught me how to move around the kitchen"
"Well she's really taught you well" she said as she continued eating.
"Thanks"
"Was it hard growing up blind? Well that's if you don't mind me asking" I could tell that she didn't want to offend me. I was use to the kids at my job asking me the same question and I was more than okay with sharing.
"No it's okay. I really don't mind. To answer your question, yeah it was hard growing up. I was teased a lot, I didn't have any friends, I was never asked out on a date. I had no one but my family. I really felt inferior. I would have given anything to have been able to see like everyone else. To be normal like everyone else…..to stop the teasing. But gaining my eyesight wasn't possible since there was no surgery to do so. So I had to find other ways to see the world even though I couldn't see it completely"
"How did you do that?"
"Through my hands. With my hands, I've been able to see such beautiful things and it also helped me accept my blindness"
"That makes me happy Nanoha, but I'm sorry about how you were treated. No friends, just your family. I know that had to be hard"
"Yeah it was. You're actually my first friend. And as sad as that is having my first friend at the age of twenty, I'm happy that my first friend is you.
"I'm happy that I have the honor of being your first friend" There was silence. I wanted to ask Fate some questions….about her life I mean.
"So what about you? Do you have a boyfriend?"
"No and I doubt that I'll ever have one" Huh? What did she mean by that….oh.
"Do you have a…. girlfriend?" I felt so nervous asking Fate such a question like that.
"No, but I wish I did. It's been hard finding someone that I want to stick around" Fate's gay? Wow. "You don't mind me being gay do you?" Fate said quickly. I guess she was afraid about how I would react.
"No I don't. I just thought that you were into guys"
"Nope, never have been. I think I've known since I was a little girl that I was a lesbian"
"Really? How did you know" I was curious. How could a kid really know something like that at a young age?
"Well let's just say that touching my mom's friend's breasts every time she came over isn't something you do that young"
"I guess you're right" I said laughing and a little after, Fate joined in to. After the laughter died down, I just had to ask more questions. This was very interesting to me. "Have you ever been in love?"
"Once" she paused. The mood had completely changed. Sadness was in her voice. "But she left me for someone else. It's been hard finding someone since then, but I'm sure that love will come my way again. I'm positive about that"
"I agree with you Fate. You're kind and have a beautiful spirit. I'm sure anyone would fall for you" It hurt me to hear Fate talk like that. I've never heard her sound like that before. It's really surprising that someone would leave Fate. She seems perfect.
"I hope you're right". Silence came again. I think that Fate was thinking about what I asked her and I was feeling sorry for asking. All of a sudden, a question that I once thought before when I first met her came to mind. It was a question that I really wanted to know the answer to.
"Can I ask you a question?"
"Sure Nanoha"
"Why have you been helping me?" There was silence.
"Because it was…..your eyes"
My eyes? What about my eyes? I can't even see. She stopped my thoughts when she continued.
"Even though you can't see Nanoha, you're eyes seemed to look at me like no one has looked at me before. Your eyes are beautiful…..I think you're beautiful Nanoha"
If I were to cry ever again, it would be at this moment. No one outside of my family had ever said such beautiful words to me before. I couldn't control the swirling emotions running through me, but at this moment, all I could do was think about doing one thing.
I sat my plate down on the table.
"Can I touch your face Fate?"
"Y-yeah" and I could hear another plate landing on the table.
I was nervous because even though I couldn't see her true beauty, I would be able to feel it. I wanted….no I needed to know what the person sitting in front of me looked like…..colors and all. So even though I've never seen colors before, I would just have to use the knowledge that I had learned when I was in school about them.
I hesitantly moved my hands towards Fate's face. My intention was to start at the very top of her head and work my way down and I did just that. First was her hair and it was silky smooth. I ran my hands through her hair so that I could imprint the feeling in my mind. In order for me to get a picture in my mind of how she looked, I asked some questions.
"What color is you hair Fate?" I asked still running my fingers through her hair which I found was at least pass her bottom.
"It's blonde" And as she answered my question, I imagined a head with no features, but long smooth blonde hair.
"It's very nice and smooth"
"That's because I have a good brand of conditioner" We both laughed.
When the laughter subsided, I moved my hands from her hair to her forehead. Her skin was so soft. My hands moved a little lower to feel her eyebrows, which I figured would be blonde as well. So I added blonde eyebrows to my imagined face that was Fate's.
"What color is your skin?"
"It's fair I guess". I then added fair skin to my image of Fate, but I added elegance to it as well. As I moved down further, I could feel Fate's eyelashes.
"Close your eyes" And when I felt that she did, I gently ran my thumbs over then. I felt the width and length of them so I would know how they expanded across her face, but there was something more important that I wanted to know.
"What color are your eyes?"
"Burgundy" Then I added her eyes to the image in my mind. What beautiful eyes I knew they would be, well that's how I pictured them.
I moved down some more where I felt a nose to be. It was medium in length, but not wide at all and I was sure that it would fit her face just perfectly. Once that image was added, I moved my hands so that they were cupping her cheeks. They were thin and her jaw was strong, but what stood out the most was the softness of them. I've never felt such softness before. I moved my hands down slowly as I could feel her firm chin. From that position, I used my thumb to place it over her lips, which seemed to part at my touch. They were soft and plump. I wondered what it felt like to kiss such lips. Well I mean, I've never kissed anyone before, so I wonder what it would be like to kiss lips in general. I could feel her breath on my finger, which seemed to be unsteady for some reason.
Now with her face complete in my mind, Fate was as beautiful as I thought she would be. I never knew that someone could be so perfect. Even with her face in my mind, I wanted to know more about her. What did the rest of her look like? Instead of thinking about it more, my hands did its work.
My hands traveled down her slender neck and spread across her strong shoulders and as I continued to touch her, the rest of her body appears with the face I imagined. My hands traveled over the long sleeve shirt she had on that contained her long slender arms. I went to her hands that were soft to the touch as I then traveled back up her arms only to now go down her sides. Her body was slender. She had a thin waist, a well toned stomach which I could feel though her shirt. I could tell that she had full breasts, maybe even bigger than mine, when I accidently brushed my finger against them on my way down. I didn't mean to….honest. Lastly, I traveled down her legs. They were thin. She's definitely an athletic woman as I could feel her leg muscles through her pants. I was already aware that she was taller than me, so I wasn't surprised when it seemed that her legs seemed to never end.
Finally. I finally had a full body image of Fate, but there was one more thing that I needed to feel. As my hands traveled up her body, I placed my hands over the spot the meant the most to me and it was beating really fast. I placed my hand over her heart because…..because she had to have a beautiful one to treat me this nicely. With my right hand over her heart, I placed my left on her cheek. The image that I had of Fate in my mind was as if I was looking at the real thing…..with my hand on her cheek and over her heart. I couldn't help but smile at how beautiful she was. I caressed her cheek for what reason I don't know, but…. for the simple fact that it felt right to me. I saw the image of Fate in my mind placing her hand over mine as I felt her placing her hand over mine.
And smiling the brightest smile that I could create, I said the thing that was on my mind.
"Fate….you're beautiful and so is your heart. Thank you for being my friend" I could feel my hand move even though it was still on Fate's face. Was she moving closer to me?
"Nanoha…" Fate said in a low voice, but it sounded so loving.
I could feel her sweet breath on my face as she said my name. Was….she going to kiss me? I saw the image of Fate in my mind place her hand on my face as I could feel her soft hands on my face. She was so close to me and I couldn't move. Why? Was this what I wanted? I could feel her so close that her breath was mingling with mine. I could smell her heavenly scent. I closed my eyes as I anticipated her next action, but…. it never came.
She moved away and with that, my image of her vanished.
"I'm sorry Nanoha. I don't know what came over me" I could tell that she was scared about how I would react. I had to reassure her that everything was okay.
"It's okay Fate" I said after finding her hand and grabbing it. "I really don't mind okay, so don't worry about it" I could still tell that she was angry at herself. I guess even more than I expected since she decided to leave.
"Nanoha it's getting late. I'm going to go okay?" Fate said after taking my hand off hers.
"Sure. Thanks for coming over"
"Thanks for cooking me such a wonderful dinner"
"For you, anytime" I said with a smile trying to put one on her face. I knew that she wasn't sure if she should hug me, since she wasn't moving. So I thought that I would let her know that it was okay to do so. I held out my arms to her, which I'm happy that she took.
"I'm so sorry Nanoha about my actions" Fate said still holding me.
"Fate it's okay really" I then ended the hug and held her by the shoulders, so that she could look at me. "See you on Monday?"
"See you Monday. Good night Nanoha"
"Good night Fate" And she left. I made my way back to the couch placing my hand over my heart, which seemed to be beating crazily.
Fate….what are you doing to me?
Hope you guys liked it. I don't really think this is going to be a long one, but I'll make sure that everything that I want to be said, is said.