Ok this was written based off a story by CharlieBrownLover21 called The Fruits Basket Chatroom Story and therefore contains a mild spoiler if you have yet to find out Akito's secret (the one in the manga, so if you only watch the anime you can leave) you should not read this.
Also, the credit for the Lyrics goes to MorganVivien08 (who just got her account btw) even though I edited them a tad. :D Mwa ha ha
Anyway, here goes:

Akito was moping at the window as usual. But today was no ordinary day, no sir. Today was Akito's birthday. Akito was contemplating on how much life sucks when a servant came to the door.

"This came for you in the mail Akito-sama," she said quietly. In her arms was a small package wrapped in brown paper, with a card in a nicely decorated envelope.

"Shut up," the god growled, snatching the package from the servant's hands. The servant shrank away from the door quietly. Always the impatient type, Akito ripped open the package first. In the folds of the paper was a romance novel.

"Shigure…" the god growled. Akito glanced at the card. "What the hell…" She mumbled. She opened the envelope and pulled out a hallmark card. It proudly said "HAPPY BIRTHDAY" in rainbow glitter. Akito opened the card and Shigure and Ayame's voices (accompanied by the voice of a very drunk Hatori) spilled out as they sang:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU

YOU'RE A DITZ LIKE TOHRU

YOU LOOK LIKE A MONKEY

AAAAAAAAANNNNNDDDD

*Hatori hiccups*

SO DOES RITSU!

YAY!

The recording was silent for a few seconds as Akito sat in stunned silence before the recording began again.

HAPPY BIRTH—

Akito slammed the card shut and grabbed the phone. She dial the number so fast her fingers were a blur to anyone watching. After a few rings, someone picked up.

"Ello!" the voice sang, "Shigure speaking."

"WHAT IN THE NAME OF HELL WAS THAT?" the god screamed.

"Oh Akito you got my present!" Shigure replied.

"You call that a present?!?" she yelled "That was more like blackmai1!!"

"That hurts Akito," the author whined, "I bet you haven't even read it yet."

"Not the book you idiot! The damn card!" Akito roared, "It is an absolutely monstrousity, and not to mention the second line is extremely offensive!"

"I guess your right I shouldn't have called Tohru a ditz," he apologized.

"NOT HER, ME! THE GIRL IS IN EVERY WAY A DITZ! SHE IS PROBABLY WORSE THAN THAT EVEN!" Akito shrieked over the phone. Unfortunately the god was a bit too loud and excluding the first part those words could be heard throughout the entire house.

"I-I'm a d-ditz?" stuttered a confused Tohru, on the verge of tears.

"No! Honda-san, Akito didn't mean that!" Yuki tried to cover.

"Besides, that bastard was probably talking about someone else!" Kyo added.

"Oh," she said, "OK!" and she skipped away, humming a little tune.

Everyone in the house sweat dropped. Shigure returned to the phone. "Now Akito that wasn't very nice your lucky Tom and Jerry covered for you," he scolded.

But Akito had already hung up on him. She still had two more people two call, an extravagant dress maker and a probably very-much-hungover doctor.

YAY! I would have posted this a heck of a lot sooner but I gots sick! :X - barf face

I probably have either a bazillion errors or none at all which gives you a great reason to REVIEW!!! PLZ?

-Thank you for not flaming