Summary: This is written by my younger sister Eleanor, who has a...shall we say...overactive imagination. It is, of course, heavily edited and published by myself, so if you have any qualms or complaints about the story, I'll be sure to pass your message on to the real author at hand.
Once upon some time or another...
There lived a little boy named Yusuke Urameshi, who was a creepy stalker-man and had never attended a full day's schooling in his life.
One day, he met a purty redhead, named Shuichi Minamino, who was sweet, kind and proper; everything a bishie should be.
Yusuke said hi to Shuichi, and Shuichi slapped him.
:EDITOR'S NOTE: I am not entirely sure why Shuichi slapped Yusuke, and shall leave it up to you to decide XD :END OF EDITOR'S NOTE:
Yusuke was very offended by this gesture, and decided to go and get counselling from another little boy (Author dies from evil darkness flame) named Hiei.
Now Hiei's idea of curing depression was to get his client to commit suicide – in his opinion, the most efficient way of dealing with one's problems.
Hiei managed to persuade Yusuke to jump off the top of a 10 storey building that night.
So, that night, Yusuke went to the top of a 10 storey building, and jumped off. The next day, he came back to Hiei for more counselling.
Hiei was understandably furious that Yusuke was still alive, and demanded to know why. Yusuke told him that he had jumped off the 10 storey building, but had been met halfway down by a pretty girl in a pink kimono who told him that "it wasn't his time", and then had flown him to safety.
Hiei managed to persuade Yusuke to drink a whole pint of ogre killer that night.
After he had left, Hiei went to visit Botan, and asked her to please stop saving Yusuke's life. She promised she wouldn't.
So, that night, Yusuke went to a pub where he was bound to find ogre killer being served. The next day, he came back to Hiei for more counselling.
Hiei anger was indescribable when he discovered that Yusuke was still alive, and he demanded to know why. Yusuke told him that he had gone to the pub, but when he had asked for a pint of ogre killer, the bartender (a foxy young lady with red hair) had taken one look at him and promptly told him that he was far too young to be drinking, and he should go home and re-think his life.
Hiei managed to persuade Yusuke to fall asleep in the middle of the road that night.
After he had left, Hiei went to visit Ruka, and asked her to please stop saving Yusuke's life. She promised she wouldn't.
So, that night, Yusuke went to sleep in the middle of the road, and came back for counselling the next day.
Hiei tried not to start killing people as he again asked Yusuke why he was still alive. Yusuke told him that he had gone to sleep in the middle of the road, like he was told, but, because of a roadblock which had been put up, no cars had driven through at any point during the night.
Hiei managed to persuade Yusuke to call Genkai an 'old slapper with less intellectual potential than even Kuwabara'.
After he had left, Hiei went to visit the construction workers ho had put up the road block, and made sure they wouldn't make the mistake of saving Yusuke's life again. (FellixSilvestris: O.o bad time to be a construction worker…)
So, Yusuke went to Genkai's dojo, and called her an 'old slapper with less intellectual potential than even Kuwabara' to her face.
Just then, Shuichi came out of nowhere with a passionate war cry of "Kamehameha!", and thus, at the hands of a bishie, Yusuke Urameshi was finally slain.
The next day, Yusuke did not come for counselling, and Hiei realised that he must finally be dead. So, that night, Hiei had a party and went on a sugar high.
And most of them lived happily ever after…