I don't know how I found myself on Valoran on the world of Runeterra, all I know is that I did. Yes, I knew of Valoran and the League of Legends, I knew much of the world I suddenly stood upon. What I didn't know is how I would be received. There were other humans, sure, but they knew of my home world of Earth, and they knew of the evils that my kin upon it had committed. I don't blame them for shunning me, I know I would if I were in their position. But I know that I'm different. I know that I'm better. But any human of Earth would say that. Any human of Earth would believe that which they were saying as well. Naturally, my word would never be enough to convince the humans and non-humans of Valoran, and I would never have the chance to prove that I'm different. Well, I suppose the opportunities would present themselves, but they would never convince.
The only place I was moderately accepted was Zaun, as just about everyone else there had something wrong with them, physically or mentally. Even then, there was still prejudice. Unless it was the Loose Cannon herself, Jinx. She thought the insanity of the Earth humans was fascinating, and that she could learn a few things from them. But of course she would say that, she's Jinx.
As much as being on the good side of Jinx was something, it didn't seem enough to me. It seemed... unfulfilling. I wanted to be accepted by all of Valoran, but above all others, I wanted to be accepted by the Yordles of Bandle. I'm not entirely sure why that was, but I felt as though the Yordles would be my greatest ally if I weren't of Earth. Perhaps it is their culture and their way of life that made me want to be among them. Perhaps it was because they weren't so human. I never was proud to be human. I always felt dishonored. That wasn't enough to convince anyone, either.
But there was one Yordle that fascinated me above all others: Gnar. The Missing Link himself. Again, I'm not sure why that was so. Perhaps his ability to adapt was so paragon, that I wished to learn from him. Perhaps he was the least human-like of all that made me want to be allies with him. I don't know.
But I knew that there was only one way to become friends or allies with anyone, let alone the Yordles, let alone Gnar. I had to change, physically. And not by losing or gaining weight, or anything of that nature. I had to literally become something or someone else. And the idea of becoming an Ancient Yordle, like Gnar, seemed like a pretty attractive idea to me.
And I knew just the Machine Herald who might be able to pull it off.
But even if I could convince him to keep the secret of my past, I couldn't trust him to actually do it. I had to erase those memories of ever knowing me and what I would request of him. But that required that I confirm he could do it.
The plan that I made was solid, though. But it would take a lot of convincing that I potentially wouldn't be capable of as an Earth human. I traveled to Piltover with the intention of speaking with Heimerdinger, the arrangement of the meeting took quite a bit of convincing in and of itself, but I eventually found myself in the presence of the Revered Inventor.
"I can assure you, Earthborn, that I do not have what you seek. Even if I did, I would not give it to you." Heimer quickly established. I wasn't surprised that was the first thing he said.
"I'm not asking for weapons or anything that could be used to lethal effect. I need information on the Machine Herald, Viktor." I assured.
"Well, that changes things a bit. What do you want to know?"
"I need to know if there is a way to erase memories from his mind and all record of visiting him, if I were to do so."
Heimerdinger seemed very confused at this request.
"There is a way, yes, it's very easy. But why would you want to do that?" he asked.
"My business with Viktor is my own." I replied. "I just wish to know how I would get about doing that. I don't even know if Viktor can do what I need him to."
Heimerdinger was about to speak, but I immediately realized something about my request, so I interjected.
"And for the record, I have no intention of becoming machine like him. I don't need steel skin to be strong."
Heimerdinger seemed rather reassured at the fact.
"Good." he said. "At least you are clever enough to know what not to do. But if you wish to erase memories from him, you will need to attach a specialized EMP of my design to him. Then you must attach it to his computers. I can program it to erase up to two months of memory and activity."
"I would ask that you do, then. And that I would be allowed to borrow this EMP." I requested.
"Borrowing suggests you will return it, an unnecessary process. I can always make more. Besides, Viktor would have no use for it himself, so no danger if he figures out its purpose."
Heimerdinger then searched through his work station for a few moments, then presented me with a metallic disk, with glowing blue accents in various places upon it.
"Simply attach this to anywhere on his body, and he will be deactivated for three days, and will reactivate with no memory of the past two months, as per my programming of the EMP. Then, attach it to his computers and it will do the same. Only a biological being can activate it, however. So if you get turned machine, you're out of luck." Heimerdinger instructed.
"Thank you, Heimerdinger." I said. "I'd say I owe you one, but you don't seem like the type who needs favors."
"Precisely. And you are welcome."
The first phase of the plan was complete. Despite not knowing if Viktor could even do what I wanted him to, I made my way back to Zaun. I soon found myself standing before his lab, psyching myself up for what could potentially be a hostile encounter with him. I also went through in my head several responses to questions he may have relating to what I was about to ask of him.
"I would seek an audience with the master of the Glorious Evolution!" I said firmly, standing before the looming structure that was Viktor's laboratory.
"Enter, then, Earthborn." the unmistakable voice of Viktor said as the door swung open.
I entered the place where Viktor's experiments were done, and tried not to look at too many of the machines where heinous experiments undoubtedly took place. I soon beheld the Machine Herald himself.
"Are you here to partake in the Glorious Evolution?" Viktor asked.
"In a manner of speaking." I replied. "I must evolve, but not in the way you might expect."
"What would you have done?"
"Are you capable of manipulating my physical form into that of another species with no ill affect on my mind itself?"
"Yes, but that does not answer my question."
"Then I would ask that you do so in a way that makes me into an Ancient Yordle, like the Missing Link, Gnar."
Viktor slammed his metal fist on a nearby table, causing quite the dent in it.
"Why would you not wish to replace skin with steel?! To become one of those insolent pests, let alone one akin to Gnar?!"
"There is perfect reason for my request." I said, trying to keep calm in the face of the great danger I was in. "If I became machine, everyone would know my intent. To convert others and to serve you. If I were to become Ancient Yordle, my goal of furthering the Glorious Evolution is unknown. I would be able to infiltrate the Yordles of Bandle, and I could siphon information to you of any nature required."
"A disguise." Viktor said sternly.
"Precisely."
"Why not march in with the superior weaponry and burn Bandle to the ground, and take that wish you seek?"
"Where's the fun in that? Surely watching them flail about in their ignorance is so much more amusing."
I was making quite the stretch at this point. I had no intent of infiltrating and betraying the Yordles that I would hopefully soon become one of.
To my proposition, Viktor pondered. I then drove the final point home.
"If you were capable of taking what you wished from Bandle, you already would have. Seeing as you haven't, I would imagine you aren't. I present to you your golden opportunity to destroy Bandle, but from within."
This entire plan that I told him, of course, was lies. But he clearly couldn't tell, as he seemed to be considering agreeing to it.
"What would you offer me in return for helping you become Ancient Yordle?" Viktor asked.
"Alongside any information you request of Bandle and its inhabitants, I offer an augment to you Death Ray. Twice as powerful, and takes half as much energy to produce." I replied, showing him the EMP Heimerdinger gave me. "However, only a biological being can activate it, so if you turn me into a machine instead of what I ask you, you not only have me to deal with, but you lose the opportunity to become much more powerful than you currently are."
Viktor eyed the EMP. This was the moment of truth. I didn't even take into account the fact that he may have seen what I carried before, and would know its true purpose.
"I will agree to your terms. You become Ancient Yordle, and in return, will give me that augment, and any information I request you to gather."
"Sounds good." I extended my hand, to which Viktor seemed confused.
"Oh. Right." I realized. "Where I come from, after a deal is made, the parties shake hands as a sign of promise to fulfill each others ends of the agreement."
"Reasonable." Viktor said, proceeding to shake my hand to secure the deal. "Now then, follow me."
I followed Viktor to a truly evil-looking machine, which he called the Genome Assimilation and Manipulation Apparatus, or GAMA for short. He explained that it would alter my DNA at the Genome level, and alter it in key points to change my physical appearance, while keeping my mental capacity and consciousness.
Quintessentially, I would physically become another species at the genomic level.
"The process will take about two weeks to complete, the entirety of which you will be unconscious. Is there anything specific you need to address?" Viktor said as he strapped me into the GAMA machine and checked its systems.
"In order to be more quickly accepted by the Yordles, and by extension, Gnar, I should become a female Ancient Yordle." I said.
That was probably the only true statement I had told Viktor so far, and there would probably be another before the operation began.
"I hope your goal isn't to mate with Gnar."
"The thought never crossed my mind."
There it was.
A needle injected itself into me, and everything went black.
I woke up seemingly not a moment later, feeling considerably smaller than I started.
"Did it-" I started, but stopped, startled at my higher pitched, more feminine voice.
"Devil's in the details. Well done, Viktor." I finished.
"There were no complications. Now I would ask you to attach the augment to me and activate it." Viktor said, releasing the locks on the GAMA, allowing me to get off of the thing.
For a second, movement was rather difficult. I had a completely new kinesthetic mechanic I needed to adjust to: a tail. After a few moments, I got the basics of moving around down again.
"Right, the augment." I said. I climbed up on the table the EMP was on, and grabbed it. Some things, at least were coming naturally to me.
I then proceeded to attach it to Viktor's back, and pressed the blue button in the center. A surge of power coursed through the Machine Herald, and he slumped over, completely deactivated.
"Forgive me, Viktor, but I can't risk anyone remembering who I was." I said when I was sure he wasn't getting back up soon. I removed the EMP from his back, and attached it to a nearby computer, and pressed the blue button again. Power surged through all of the systems in the laboratory, and soon shut down.
After removing the EMP and exiting the lab, with the thing in my hand (or paw), I tossed it into a nearby incinerator-bound chute and soon heard a poof-like sound, undoubtedly the EMP being destroyed in fire.
With great effort, I managed to escape Zaun without being spotted. Being small and nimble had its perks. But I wasn't done being sneaky yet. I had to get through the Ironspike Mountains, past Noxus, through Icathia, and beyond the Sablestone Mountains to get to Yordle territory.
As much as Gnar had originally shown up in Freljord, I was pretty sure I wouldn't need to head there.
The journey to Yordle land was surprisingly uneventful, as much as it took several weeks to get there. After crossing the Sablestone Mountains, I went into a nearby forest to begin searching for Gnar. I never met him when I was human, but there was no doubt he had heard of the Earth abomination that dared show his face on Runeterra.
It took two days, but I managed to find signs of the elusive Ancient Yordle himself. Tracking them, I soon peered into a clearing to find him, just sitting there, seemingly pondering.
I didn't know what to do. Should I approach or stay hidden? As much as I had planned this whole deal, I didn't plan on how to introduce myself to Gnar. I took a step back, but my foot landed on a twig, the classic cover breaker.
"Is someone there?" Gnar said, quickly turning and standing up. In my nervousness, I ran for it and up a nearby tree.
"Show yourself, and I probably won't have to hurt you." he said below. He hadn't seen me, so he was just talking at this point, hoping whoever he heard was near.
I still didn't know how I should reveal myself, so I climbed a nearby tree, and from my view, perched upon a branch, I saw Gnar looking around the area for whatever was spying on him. But in the heat of the moment, with all the conflicting thoughts flying through my head, I heard the branch I was standing on crack.
"This probably won't end well." I said to myself right before the branch snapped and I went tumbling down to the forest floor, and was knocked out cold.
I woke up in a different clearing than the one I saw Gnar in, and sprang up, ready to run again.
"No need to do that." Gnar said. "No one else knows about this place."
"That's not what I'm concerned about." I told him.
"Well, if you're worried about me, I've managed to find a way to control my Mega form."
He then explained everything he knew about the world to me, some I knew, other parts I was only just learning. The League, its champions, what's happened over the last several thousand years since we had been frozen in True Ice (he assumed that I was under the same circumstances as him, and I wasn't about to correct him). I didn't really mind re-learning all of it. After all, some stuff he told me was new to me.
"Tell you what." Gnar eventually said. "Tomorrow I'll take you to Bandle, where the Yordles of today live."
"Sounds like a plan." I replied.
"By the way, I never asked you your name. What is it?"
That was the only part I didn't initially plan, so I thought fast.
"Kit." I said. "My name's Kit."
"Well, Kit, it is good to meet you."
The next day, Gnar and I headed to Bandle. He tried to make sure I kept out of sight until the time was right. It took a bit, but we arrived at the Bandle City Tavern, where Gnar and anyone else who was anyone in Bandle would gather for drinks and festivities.
Gnar entered first, and told me to stay outside until he called me in.
"Hey, Gnar!" a rather familiar voice said. Probably Tristana's.
"You seem chipper today." Another said.
"There's a reason for that." Gnar said proudly. "You all know that I've been in a bit of a funk lately."
"How could we not?" Tristana's voice said. Mind you, I wasn't actually seeing into the tavern, I was just out of sight of them, and therefore, they were out of sight for me.
"Well, you'll all be pleased to know that I am not the last of the Ancient Yordles."
I heard a mixture of gasps, and some saying things like "wait, what?!" and "has he gone mad?"
"Kit, this is your cue." Gnar said, turning towards the entrance, to which I then entered the tavern, causing even more of a stir. They couldn't believe what they were seeing. Another Ancient Yordle. A female one, at that.
"I don't know what the proper greeting for modern Yordles is, so I'll just say good day." I said, a little nervous.
Silence was dominant, shortly followed by an eruption of applause.
"To Kit, everyone!" Gnar said.
"To Kit!" The entire tavern replied, raising their drinks, or fists if they didn't have a drink.
"What do you say we get some music going?" Gnar suggested to the crowd. "Today is a good day!"
Essentially, a party was being held in honor of my arrival, which never would've happened if I kept my human form, which I was glad to be rid of. It was time to forget that I was ever human, and put forth the Ancient Yordle I was meant to be. I had never been so happy in my life, a result of the party and the rapid acceptance into the Bandle community. Even back on Earth, I had a hard time fitting in. I never wanted to. I just wanted people to accept that which I was, and even though I had to alter my very genome for it, I would've done so anyway to attain my new, true form. I found it better to be in than a human one, even if the Yordles hadn't accepted me.
But this feeling of being accepted, it was so new to me. As I partied the day and night away, I didn't think of it at the time, but that was the first time in my entire life that I had truly been happy with where I was. Perhaps that's why I found myself on Runeterra in the first place. Whether by gods or demons, whichever that had my back, I was sent here because I knew I could be far more useful and happy here on Runeterra than I could ever dream of being on Earth.
I was no longer a human by the name of Jarred Eelis. I was now an Ancient Yordle by the name of Kit.
After the party, Gnar took me on a tour of Bandle, showing me the many things the city had to offer.
"Some of the best craftspeople on Runeterra are Yordles, and most of them are based here in Bandle." he explained as we walked around the marketplace.
My attention quickly drew towards the Blacksmith's display of Yordle-sized weapons and armors. Back on Earth, I was a trained fighter. I wasn't the best, but I knew I could handle myself in an altercation. Gnar clearly noticed that I had affixed myself towards the weapons, and gestured for me to head up there to see if any of them fit my style.
I looked for a bit and saw a small Cutlass. At least, it was small for anyone but a Yordle. It was perfectly sized for one of my new stature.
"How much for the Cutlass?" I asked.
"Take it. It suits you." the Yordle behind the stand said. I then grabbed the Cutlass, which was quite light, to my surprise. I examined it, and saw the unmistakable wavy patterns of Damascus Steel. But it was probably called something else on Runeterra.
"It's made of Starfire Steel, folded at the very least twelve times, to get its distinctive wavy pattern." a voice from behind me said. I turned around to see Poppy, with her hammer over her shoulder. "If he's offering it to you, I suggest you take it."
"It almost seems rude to take something of such quality and potential for use without giving something in return, at the very least. Even if it is offered for free." I replied.
"Then promise that you'll use it well." the Yordle behind the stand said.
"That I can do. I will assure you that in my hands, this blade will not be misused. And when it is drawn in combat, it will strike true."
"You've got a way with words I don't see in a lot of people, Yordles or otherwise." Gnar said, seemingly impressed.
I gave the Cutlass a few practice swings. It definitely fit my style of wielding weapons. The Yordle merchant handed me the its scabbard, and I sheathed my new blade.
"The Blade of Bandle." Poppy said.
"What?" I asked.
"I figure that would be your title in the League of Legends, if you were to find yourself a champion within it."
Several weeks passed, and every day I felt more and more comfortable in my new form. It actually didn't take too long to get used to people calling me Kit rather than my name when I was human. One day, however, Poppy approached me in the Tavern.
"There's someone at the gate who has requested to see you." she informed me.
"Who?" I asked.
"Well, it's not exactly someone, but rather something. A drone, most likely from Zaun. I suspect it's Viktor's. He's the bugger who's trying to convert everyone to machines."
I nearly jumped out of my seat in surprise. How the hell could Viktor know what I did to him? I thought I had erased the memories of me he had! I thought I took a broom to my footsteps!
"I'd recommend you bring that sword of yours. Viktor usually doesn't take 'no' for an answer."
As calmly as I could, I went outside the gate, and saw Viktor's drone fly off, before being approached by the Machine Herald himself.
"Kit, is it?" Viktor asked.
"What are you here for?"
"I would request your audience in my laboratory in Zaun, as I believe I have an offer that you will not be able to refuse."
So far, it didn't seem as though Viktor was hinting at the idea of having recovered his memory that I erased.
"I'll humor you." I said. "What's your offer?"
"You make good on your promises, and I won't expose your identity."
This statement startled me to the point of jumping back. I thought Heimerdinger's EMP was supposed to work, dammit!
"We both know how this ends, 'Kit'." Viktor said. "You either die here and now, and leave Gnar in ruin, or you live long enough to see your betrayal. Either way, you lose, and I think I know you'd rather die than betray the Yordles."
Viktor began to power up his Death Ray, but I simply stood there, staring at the ground.
I spoke up right before he would've unleashed the Death Ray.
"When I think about it, we really aren't so different." I said. "And I know that sounds like the dumbest thing you've ever heard."
"How can we be similar in any way?!" Viktor demanded an explanation to.
"We both wanted to escape our humanity. We both wanted to eradicate our human pasts. We both wanted to be something more, and we both knew that as a human, we would never amount to anything. What I did to you, only confirms it. I wanted no more of my humanity, and you had already eradicated yours. All I wanted... was to be better than my human form would allow me to be."
Viktor's Death Ray powered down.
"I hear, and I comprehend. But more than that, I understand." Viktor said. "Let us go our separate ways, and let our pasts be past. But wrong me again, and I will have your head on a pike for the sport of my lab's crows."
"I'm counting on it." I replied.
Viktor turned around and walked away, and I headed back into Bandle.
"Well? What did he want?" Gnar asked.
"Nothing that concerns anyone now." I answered.
"He's been after some of Bandle's most guarded secrets for near as long as I can remember." Teemo said in the background.
"I don't know any of them, so, we should be safe for now. We've come to more or less of an understanding."
"Really?" Poppy said. "The Machine Herald, understanding?"
"I suppose an agreement would be a better term. We simply have made an arrangement of non-interference. I leave him alone, he does the same for me and Bandle."
"I suppose there's nothing for it now." Gnar said. "Shall we continue our festivities?"
"We shall." I requested. "To new beginnings."
"Sounds good!" Tristana said, heading towards the tavern. "Meet you at the tavern, everyone!"