Won't Work
Disclaimer: I wrote this. JKR didn't.
AN: No flames please. This is much less twisted than the original idea. R&R!
"Look," I explained to him, "it won't work. You know it won't as well as I do. Anyway, I'll be leaving school this year, and I won't be coming back as substitute Care of Magical Creatures Teacher. Sorry." I tried to smile, helplessly. "And the puppy-dog eyes aren't making this any easier."
Arthur glared at me with a look of total, helpless betrayal. 'Thanks a lot,' said the look. He was obviously thinking about how I had smuggled him away from Care of Magical Creatures in fourth year and looked after him as he grew up, and out, and up some more... and how I'd kept him out of sight from the other Slytherins by eventually moving him into the unused part of the dungeons. And when Arthur became too big for even the dungeons, he and I crept into the Forbidden Forest, narrowly avoiding Hagrid's wilder and more vicious Skrewts on the way.
It's odd, how Hagrid's Skrewts were all more violent and stupid than my calm, quick-thinking friend. Maybe it's like the Muggles say, about how dogsand their owners are alike, or whatever it is.
"Anyway, I'm a Slytherin, from an influential family. Where can I fit in a Blast-Ended Skrewt?"
Silence. And a reproachful look. 'You're a Slytherin from a influential family. Find somewhere.'
"I'm sorry, Arthur. It just... won't work. I'll come and visit when I can. Bye."
I feel like he's calling for me. 'Teddy... Theodore...'
And I stumble back up to the castle, not even caring when McGonagall takes fifty points from Slytherin for me being up after hours.
"And would you please welcome our new Care of Magical Creatures teacher, Professor Nott."
I came back, Arthur.