DISCLAIMER: I do not own The Lord of the Rings; all rights to J.R.R. Tolkien!
It had been six years since the fight. The argument that had stolen Aragorn's best friend from him.
The Ranger let his head drop against the frosty windowpane, wondering how this next week would go. His gray eyes stared distantly out at the waterlogged landscape, then focused in closer at the glittering rain droplets streaking down his window.
Legolas was coming for a visit, which he rarely was able to do because of his duties as Prince of Mirkwood, and the Ranger was dreading it. If it had been any other time, the man would have been overwhelmed with excitement, almost unable to retain his seat any longer and begin jumping up and down in anticipation. But not this time.
It had been six years since Aragorn had last seen his elven friend. Maybe they would have tried to reconnect with each other, if it hadn't been for the enormous amount of responsibilities and duties set upon Legolas nowadays.
Once he had gotten a letter from the Mirkwood prince. Well, it had not been to him, really, more like to the whole family. It had said that he missed them all dearly, and he wished he could come for a visit soon, but it was not to be. They were having even more problems with the gruesome spiders that infested their beloved Greenwood, and he would be needed for the next several months.
The Ranger watched his breath create foggy shapes on the windowpane.
He still remembered that day. That terrible, awful day when he had let his emotions get the better of him and whisk the elf away from him. Oh, how he wished he could take back all those spiteful words he had said, all the things he had told his friend…
A soft knock sounded on the door. The Ranger glanced up. "Come in." He said softly.
A head of dark-hair peeked inside the room, first looking right, then looking left, and finally, spotting Aragorn sitting on the window seat.
Elrond smiled as he saw his foster son. He was glad the young adan enjoyed the gift he had given him. The elf lord had been noticing that, lately, Aragorn had enjoyed sitting outdoors, even when it was raining. Not wanting the man to catch an illness, he had ordered that, while Aragorn was away for a few days, a small window seat be constructed. It was built into the wall, with windows on all three sides, leaving on the back of it open.
"Ah, Estel." He approached his foster son.
Aragorn looked up at his Ada, forcing a smile on his face as he did so. "Good morning, Ada."
Elrond immediately frowned in concern as he saw Estel's gray eyes, usually so playful and joyful, clouded over in grief and misery. "Estel? What is wrong?" He sank down beside his foster son.
The Ranger sighed deeply. "No, Ada. There is nothing wrong." Inwardly, the adan was calling himself a liar.
"Is there?"
Aragorn could hear the knowing in his father's words and turned to him, gazing into the steady, dark eyes. How does he know? Valar, is it really that obvious that I am grieving? He hated showing weakness in front of anyone, even his adopted family. Even though he could share his deepest, most important secrets and dreams with them, he somehow couldn't find it in himself to admit weakness.
Maybe it is all that Ranger training.
Then Aragorn realized that he had forgotten about his father's question. "Oh? Ah, yes, yes of course." He said, entirely forgetting what Elrond had been saying.
"So there is something amiss?" The elven lord leaned forward a little, intent on trying to untangle his son's words.
"What? No! I mean…no, there is nothing wrong. Why do you say that?" He immediately knew that he had been caught.
A slow smile spread across Elrond's face. "You could never hide anything from me. Could you, Estel?"
Aragorn allowed himself a small smile, pulling his knees up to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. "No, I guess I could not."
They sat in silence for a moment before Elrond spoke again. "Would you like to tell me what you are thinking about so hard?"
Aragorn, realizing that he had drifted into a dreamlike state of thoughtfulness, snapped his head up quickly, finding that his chin had fallen onto his knees.
"Something is really bothering you, is it not?" The older elf put a hand on Aragorn's shoulder, encouraging him to speak of his troubles.
The man took a deep breath before launching into his explanation. "It has been six years today since I have last seen Legolas." The Ranger continued to watch the frosty rain coat his window.
"And I can imagine that you are quite excited about that, are you not?" Elrond asked, slightly confused as to why his son was upset about this.
The Ranger shook his head slowly. "No, I am not." Then, sensing his Ada's approaching question, he rephrased his earlier statement. "It has been six years today since Legolas and I have gotten in an argument." The last words were said quietly, as if he didn't want to admit them to himself.
The elf lord began to put the pieces together. "That is why you are not looking forward to his visit, because the two of you did not get along well last time."
"No, no, it's not that at all…" He said uncertainly. "We got along well, up until that last day…"
~ flashback ~
"It is not like you would care."
The elf standing beside Aragorn went rigid. "What is that supposed to mean?"
"It is supposed to mean that you would not care, but I guess since you are the Prince of Mirkwood, you would not need to care anyway."
The elf whirled on the young adan, surprise and confusion mixing inside of him to create a mounting fury. "What is wrong with you, Aragorn? The one time we finally get to do something together without Elrohir and Elladan tagging along and you say I am too important to care?"
"Oh, so now you are hating on Elladan and Elrohir, as well, are you?" Aragorn crossed his arms, remaining stubborn and unwilling to let the elf know the source of his anger.
"Hating on them? What are you talking about, Aragorn? You know I love them like my own brothers!"
The Ranger snorted derisively.
"This is about last night, isn't it?" Legolas asked, his voice turning acidic. "I told you I could not go with you to the lake because I had more important matters to attend to, not because I was too important for it!"
"Yes, and what were these 'more important matters' might I ask, mellon nín?" He spit the last two words at the elf, not meaning them at all.
Legolas, seeing that he had made the wrong choice in words yet again, took a deep breath and tried to understand his best friend's anger.
"Aragorn, last night, I was busy." He said it slowly, hoping to hammer the words into the young human's head. "It is not because I did not wish to accompany you, and it is not because I believed I was too important for you, it is because Adar sent me a letter asking for some very specific knowledge from Lord Elrond's library!" His voice took on a sort of pleading tone, and the elf, catching it, erased it immediately with his last statement. "And I was not hating on Elladan and Elrohir."
Aragorn knew his friend was telling the truth, and he also knew he should probably apologize, but he didn't. Last night, he had had plenty of time to vent anger that should not have been aimed at Legolas while he was at the lake by himself. Just as his thoughts began to turn towards an apology, he set his jaw stubbornly and crossed his arms, sinking deeper into the armchair he was resting in. He watched Legolas pace in front of him, his exasperation with his friend evident on his face.
"You do not have to try to hide it, I know that you do not wish to be my friend." Aragorn meant his words to prod Legolas into one final debate, then the human would relent. But he wasn't ready to give up his fight yet.
"What?! Aragorn, I never said such a thing!" Legolas held up his hands in the air, casting his sparkling blue gaze towards the sky. "Do you honestly think that, because I am an elf and a Prince, I do not wish to possess your friendship?"
Aragorn thought about his words, knowing that if he turned his thoughts into words, it could possibly mean the end of their friendship.
Later on, if you would have asked him why he said it, he would not have been able to tell you. He never knew why. Maybe it was his stubbornness, or his pride, or maybe it was just because he was having a bad day. Whichever it was, Aragorn hated it.
"Yes." The Ranger said mildly.
"Fine, if that is the way you feel, then." Legolas turned on his heels and quickly left the room, slamming the door behind him.
~ end flashback ~
Regret. Regret was the one thing Aragorn felt about that conversation so long ago. It was silly, really. The man thought to himself. Our friendship was walking the thin line on my pride, and I pushed it off. He hated himself for what he had said that day. He knew Legolas' words had been truth, and that he was completely in the wrong. But it was a wrong that could never be erased, and the man knew that.
He looked up into his Ada's face, tears welling up in the corners of his eyes as he did so.
Elrond paused, running what he would say over in his mind, making sure his words wouldn't just inflict more emotional damage upon his son. Then he began. "Estel, all of us make wrong decisions in our lifetime. And none of us may take any of them back."
Aragorn bowed his head, letting the tears fall freely down his face.
"But we can heal the relationships that have been broken." The elf lord said tactfully, gently raising his son's head to eye level again. "No matter how painful it is."
The Ranger nodded, understanding the wisdom in his father's words.
Elrond's words were few, but they made a great impact on Aragorn's life. He suddenly made the resolve to heal his relationship with Legolas when he arrived.
"Thank you, Ada." The man said, embracing his father.
As Elrond accepted him into his arms, he spoke softly into his son's ear. "Anything for you, my son."
Aragorn watched from his window as Legolas, Prince of the Greenwood, trotted into the courtyard of Imladris astride his brilliant white stallion.
The rain had not let up at all, and that just made the Ranger feel even worse. He would have escaped into the forest before his old friend arrived, probably climbing a tree or hiding in a cave somewhere, not wanting to face the broken fragments of a forsaken relationship. He would have, despite the rain, but then he remembered Elrond's words, and he knew he had to stay.
Legolas handed his horse over to one of the stable hands, then was greeted vivaciously at the door by Elladan and Elrohir. He watched as his two brothers engulfed him in hugs and claps on the back before leading him inside.
He heard pounding feet on the stairway outside his door and immediately knew that they were coming to get him. He looked around his room frantically, wanting to escape the pain that he knew would be revived by seeing his old friend again.
Elrohir pounded violently on the door. "Estel! Hey Estel! Legolas is here!"
Aragorn could hear the sheer excitement in his brother's voice. Then he made up his mind.
He dashed over to the balcony, grabbing his cloak as he did so, and slipped out the beautifully engraved double doors, making sure to shut them tightly after him to avoid letting rain inside his room. He clasped his cloak around his throat, ignoring the hood so he could feel the refreshing patter of rain on his face, and quickly leaped up onto the railing. He heard his brothers hammering the door again, threatening to burst into the room if he didn't come out immediately.
Balancing himself on the narrow railing, he carefully reached up and wrapped both arms around the thick tree limb suspended over the balcony. Using the strength he had built up over the years of being a Ranger, he hoisted himself up into the tree, quickly scurrying down the branch to get closer to the trunk.
Nobody knew it, but this was the spot he always went to when he needed to be alone. He found that, if he strayed too far from Imladris, they always found him eventually. So now he contented himself in hiding several meters away from his room.
He breathed in deeply, gathering the smells of the humid air and the rain slipping off the glistening leaves surrounding him. He sat there on his branch, completely hidden from view by the overlapping branches and vines, and watched as his brothers and Legolas finally threw open the door and entered his bedroom.
"Where is he?"
He barely made out Elladan's voice through the thick glass of the doors.
"He was just here a moment ago." This time it was Elrohir who spoke.
"Maybe Estel went outside for a breath of fresh air?" Legolas suggested, making his way over to the balcony doors. Aragorn huddled closer to the sturdy trunk of his tree, pulling his cloak more tightly around himself. "Aragorn!" Legolas called when he was standing outside on the small porch. He looked around for a moment, then returned indoors. "He is not outside." Aragorn heard him say to the twins.
The man turned away from the scene inside the house, his inner turmoil being aroused by Legolas' appearance. He did not seem as if he were angry with me. He thought. Maybe Legolas had gotten over the whole ordeal, and it was just he who was acting childishly. I should face him.
But then the three elves left his room and he could just make out the sound of them retreating down the stairway. He remained where he was for a moment, then climbed out of his tree, landed nimbly on the balcony railing, then made his way inside.
He laid out his damp cloak across an armchair, hoping for it to dry quickly so he could go out later. I cannot avoid him forever. He thought solemnly, knowing that, sooner or later, they would come face-to-face, and all that mental anguish inside of him would finally come out.
The sun was just beginning to set, and Aragorn realized that his family would probably be expecting him to dinner very soon. I'm not hungry. He decided, glancing up as he heard a small sound coming from outside his bedroom door. He quickly approached it, swinging the door wide open to reveal Elrohir standing there, an expectant look on his face.
"I knew it!" He stepped inside his brother's room and pointed an accusing finger at him. "Why were you hiding, Estel?"
"I…" The man desperately cast around inside his head, trying to think of something. "…wasn't." He finished lamely.
Elrohir raised one eyebrow at him.
Aragorn, feeling that this conversation was going the wrong way, tried to change the subject. "I am guessing that supper is ready?"
The younger twin nodded, making his way back to the door. "Aye. Actually, that is the only reason I came to see you." He smiled, making sure that Aragorn knew he was just joking.
Aragorn grinned and shoved his brother out the door, following closely behind and forgetting completely about his resolve to skip dinner. "And you think that you are blessing me with seeing your face?"
The two made the short journey to the dining hall, laughing and joking the whole way. And, momentarily, Aragorn forgot about all his troubles and worries and just concentrated on having a good evening.
"Estel! Estel! Wake up!" Elladan plopped down on Aragorn's bedside, ripping the thick quilts off of the sleeping man. "Wake up, Estel!" He repeated. "We have to leave soon!"
Aragorn moaned and groped around blindly for the blankets, hoping to stop the sudden draft of cold that assaulted him when Elladan and taken the covers off him. "Go 'way." He muttered, swatting away the older twin's hands as they attempted to shake his shoulders again.
"Come on, Estel. Have you forgotten about the picnic?"
The man froze, remembering suddenly what they had been discussing last night during dinner. Elrohir, always the one with bright ideas, suggested the four of them, Elladan, Legolas, Aragorn, and himself, should go on a picnic by the lake tomorrow. He said it would be 'just like old times'.
Aragorn, who had avoided eye contact with Legolas all through dinner and had tried to make himself as inconspicuous as possible, was dreading the moment infinitely. He was surprised that Legolas had not tried to force him to speak with him or acknowledge him. Matter of fact, Aragorn hardly acknowledged anyone at the table unless he was spoken to directly. He hoped he had not hurt their feelings…
The man quickly glanced at the window. A sunny day. He groaned again and rolled off the bed, putting his feet down just in time to catch himself. He knew there would be no rain today, but that didn't mean he couldn't hope for it.
"Isn't it going to rain?" He asked groggily.
"Rain? What are you talking about, Estel?" Elladan laughed. "It is clear skies today. Perfect for a picnic. I'll see you downstairs." Then he left the room quickly, giving the door a little push and letting it fall the rest of the way closed behind him.
Aragorn sighed reluctantly and began to dress. He finished in a matter of minutes, checking the sky again for any sign of clouds. He scowled to the outside world when it remained cheerful. I don't want to do this. I know Ada told me I should speak with Legolas, but right now, that is the last thing I want to do.
He left his room quickly, pausing in the hallway outside the door to the dining room. He could hear his brothers and Legolas joking and laughing together inside. The sound only rekindled the aching in his heart, and he continued to walk quickly down the hall. Not knowing where he should go, he wandered for a few minutes before finding himself standing outside in the gardens. He leaned against the patio railing and sighed again, staring at the scenery. If only it would rain… He thought wistfully. Then he wouldn't have to go on this dreaded picnic, and he could continue to run and hide from his feelings.
He had no idea how long he was standing there, but soon, Elrohir peeked his head out the door and spotted him. "Estel!" He called. "Come on, muíndor nín! We are waiting on you!"
The man took one last look at the sky, hoping to see a thick, gray clouds, but found none. Then he followed his brother out to the stables, where Elladan and Legolas were waiting patiently.
Avoiding eye contact with Legolas, Aragorn quickly saddled Roheryn.
"Good morning, Estel." The blond elf said gently.
"Good morning, Legolas." He said briskly, hoping to forestall any further comments. His heart cracked even further as he spoke his friend's name. I don't deserve him. I have been a horrible friend. He cast his gaze towards his shoes, refusing to let the tears gathering in the corners of his eyes fall.
"Estel? Are you coming?" Elladan's voice broke through his thoughts.
"Oh, yes. Of course." He said, mounting his stallion swiftly.
The twins and Legolas laughed through the whole ride, catching up on old times and attempting to speak to their human friend. But Aragorn would just shrug or shake his head, not wanting to meet their gazes.
Aragorn's tortured thoughts ran through his head, telling him he wasn't good enough for the elven prince. He remembered their argument some years previously. I was right. He is too good for me. I could never be his friend. I am just a man.
"Here we are!" Legolas shouted happily, dismounting his milky white stallion near the lake.
Elrohir set to work unrolling the picnic blanket and getting out the food one of the kitchen workers had packed them and Elladan and Legolas crept closer to the water's edge. Inspecting it carefully and marveling at its natural beauty.
Sliding off Roheryn, he gave the horse a gentle pat on the nose. He gazed upwards at the sky, hoping that, maybe, his eyes would be met with a raindrop. But there were none.
His stallion snorted gently and thrust his muzzle into Aragorn's ribs.
The man smiled at his horse, speaking softly to him. "I know, Roheryn." He sighed. "I cannot put this off for forever."
"Let's eat!" Elrohir said to the other three, motioning them over to the blanket. "Maybe we could go fishing afterwards? I brought my pole." He said.
Aragorn remembered the days when he was young. He would sit beside this very lake, fishing rod in hand, waiting to catch something. Most of the time he didn't catch anything, but it was still fun. He let a distant little smile play across his lips as he thought of it.
Elladan handed him a plate of food, but he didn't eat. All he could do was think of how unworthy he was for Legolas' friendship and how much he wanted it to rain.
The other three elves finished eating quickly, and, as Elladan and Elrohir were laughing over some inside joke, Aragorn looked up. Only to be met with Legolas' piercing blue gaze. He wanted to look away, but found that he simply could not.
The prince of Mirkwood gently motioned for the man to follow him and he stood, silently leaving the picnic site.
Aragorn bit his lip, casting one more glance at the sky. Still sunny. Wait, was that a hint of gray cloud over there? He looked closer, then realized that Legolas was still walking away. He got to his feet, and, before his brothers could ask any questions, he jogged to catch up with the elf.
"Legolas?" He asked as the elven prince stopped walking and turned towards him. His steely gaze flicked back to the other two elves, who were still sitting on the blanket, and figured that they were a good distance away from them. Legolas did not want them to overhear their conversation.
"Aragorn, what is wrong?"
"Nothing." Aragorn said nervously, moving his eyes away from Legolas', not wanting to face the pain that had been dwelling in his heart for the past six years.
"This is about the fight, isn't it?"
Aragorn was surprised at how easily the elf had read his emotions and found the source of them. But, he thought, I guess it wasn't that hard to see what was wrong with me.
"Please, Aragorn. I didn't mean what I said—"
"No." Aragorn said, taking a step back, a puzzled expression on his face. "It is I that should be apologizing. I am the one who openly denied your friendship. I am the one who is in the wrong."
"It is both of us, Estel. It was a petty argument. Please, snap out of this dazed reverie you have been in since I've arrived. You have refused to speak with me and will not even make eye contact. What are you afraid of?"
The man decided not to answer the question, squirming slightly at the prospect of having to admit to his friend his darkest fears. "I don't deserve your friendship, Legolas. I never have. You did not need to befriend such a stuck up human as I. You—"
"No! No, Aragorn. That is not true at all! I am your friend because I chose it. I could not think of anyone more deserving of friendship than you."
This time Aragorn did meet the elf's gaze. "Really?" He asked quietly, hoping that, maybe, his friend would be willing to forgive him.
"Really." Legolas said softly.
"You mean, you were never angry with me for what I said?" He asked hopefully.
A small smile appeared on the elf's face. "Of course I was."
The Ranger's face fell, and his shoulders drooped noticeably.
"But not for six years."
The man found that he was lost for words. He never imagined that his friend would forgive him after that. He had always condemned himself to a life of misery and fear, not wanting to face the pain inside of him. But now that pain was gone, and it was replaced with an extreme joy, a joy that no one could ever steal from him again. It was friendship.
"Legolas…" He said, his voice breaking with relief. Then he threw himself into his friend's arms, and they embraced. "I am so sorry…"
"No, Aragorn. Don't be. Everything is fine now."
An irrepressible smile spread across the man's face as he pulled back from the elf, staring at him happily. "Thank you, Legolas."
He looked up at the sky and noticed that fat, gray clouds were scudding across it. He smiled as he remembered his earlier wish and how childish it had been. And then he felt it.
Rain.