It had been the day from hell. Steve had nearly lost the sister he'd only just found again, plus he got zapped...A missing scene for the end of Ke Kinohi with added Steve whump.
Many thanks to my terrific beta Sherry57 for keeping me right with all things H50, and making my words shine!
Warnings:- Some bad language.
Disclaimer:- Not mine, although I would like to bring Steve his morning cup of coffee...
FAMILY.
Ever since he was a kid, Steve loved sitting on the beach, a cold one in his hand, watching as the last rays of the sun gave way to the inky darkness of night. Times had changed of course, and now Bud replaced the coke mom used to bring, but tonight the awesome sight brought only pain. The scarlet hues too bright, the sound of the waves too loud, and as he struggled to his feet, he raised a hand to shield his aching eyes as he stumbled into the house.
Inside, he drew the blinds and flopped onto the chair, dad's chair. It still smelt of stale cigarettes and Columbian coffee, but the old man's scent didn't freak him out the way it used to. Gradually he was coming to terms with his loss, but the guilt was still as fresh and raw as the day he last heard his father's voice. Steve fingered the burn on his neck and winced. It still hurt, and the headache from hell had never left, but those aches were nothing compared to the sick feeling tearing a hole in his gut - he'd nearly lost her.
Mary could have died. She was his responsibility, and it was his job to protect her, but he'd failed. Steve shuddered to think what would have happened if he hadn't reached her in time. Just a few minutes more and his kid sister would have been murdered, the last of his family gone, but for once he'd got lucky. Mary Ann was alive but beat up, and it tore him apart knowing those bruises were his fault.
The battered tool box lay on the table, a silent witness to his guilt and Steve shook his head. He'd screwed up, got careless. Why hadn't he locked it? Why hadn't he hidden it away from prying eyes - hers. Sure, it had been a long time since she'd been that cute kid who'd followed him around, but even then she'd had an inquisitive streak, sneaking into his room, borrowing his stuff even though she knew it pissed him off - so why did he think anything would have changed?
Steve knew it would be easy to lay the blame on her. He'd told her right from the start to leave well enough alone, but who had he been kidding? Mary Ann was a stubborn, cocky, pain in the ass - just like him. And she'd acted just in the same way he would've, if the situation had been reversed. Fearless, she'd barged straight in leaving common sense at the door, and never once considered the danger, all in the name of seeking the truth.
Mary was a wild child, and trouble seemed to follow her around like a bad smell, but she was also smart, much smarter than he'd given her credit for. Steve found it ironic that despite all his training, all the hi-tech gizmo's at his disposal, it was his own little Miss Marple who'd figured it out. Sis was the one who'd put together the pieces of the puzzle and discovered mom had been murdered, so what the fuck did that say about him? Had he been blinded to the truth? Yet it was those smarts that nearly got her killed, and while he knew she was gutsy, being brave didn't mean a damn if you were six feet under.
Secrets and lies seemed to be the foundation of his family tree, and there was a whole load of what ifs running through his aching head. Dad had always known mom was murdered, so why the hell hadn't he said anything? Steve could just about understand why he'd withheld the truth when it happened, he and Mary Ann had only been kids back then - but since?
Steve would never forget how hurt and confused he'd felt when, after mom died, dad had packed them off to the mainland. Almost as if they were being punished for mom's death, an unwanted burden on the father who was too busy to comfort a couple of kids whose world had fallen apart. Yet, instead of sticking together somehow, he and Mary Ann drifted apart. In the years that passed he was determined to show his dad he didn't need him, and to prove to himself he could become the best, at least the best he could be…all on his own. He'd become a navy seal, a decorated leader with men under his command, a guy who could handle himself, yet despite his achievements it still hadn't been good enough for his father to share his secret. If only the old man had trusted him, he could have helped. They could've worked on the case together, and mom's killer would have been brought to justice years ago. So why hadn't dad confided?
Steve cracked open an eye to find the once dim room now dark, it had become nightfall without him realising it. It was cold too, and he shivered. When had he become such a wuss? His lips twitched in self mocking and he groaned. What had happened to him? Since coming home, back to Hawaii, it seemed like his life had slowly gone down the pan. His judgement was flawed. Gone was the calm, measured military commander, the golden boy who rarely put a foot wrong. Now he'd become an impulsive, quick tempered, hot head – someone he didn't recognise. Hell, he'd even let a bunch of dead beats get the jump on him…Then suddenly he knew the answer. Dad never asked for his help, because the old man didn't think he could cut it. The knowledge hurt, but Steve couldn't think of any other explanation, and, the truth was he had failed him, and if it wasn't for his team - he would probably have lost his sister too.
Another shiver made him flinch, and the small movement sent sharp spikes of pain piercing through his skull. Steve struggled to his feet, and the room swayed. Damn, he hadn't had a migraine in years, and with nothing stronger than Tylenol in the cabinet, Steve knew he was in for a rough night. Ice helped, but the almost gargantuan effort it took to search the freezer turned out to be a waste of precious energy, when he found out he'd forgotten to fill up the tray…
His bed looked inviting, but he wanted to shower first. Wash off the damp, clammy feel to his skin, and with luck, some of the guilt for letting Mary down. Steve thought of her standing at the airport as they said goodbye. Battered and bruised, she'd looked so frail. He hoped he'd done the right thing by sending her away, but until he brought down the bastard behind it all, she wasn't safe on the Island. Still, he'd seen the apprehension, and suspicion in those big brown eyes, and knew she was remembering the last time someone had sent her away. This time was different though, as least he hoped it was, but now he was beginning to understand how dad must have felt…
Steve felt like crap, and the hot spray wasn't helping the way he'd hoped. Instead of easing his pain, the plumbs of steam were closing in, choking him, and he was struggling to breathe…
ooooOoooo
Danny eyed up last night's lasagna. There was plenty left, but it was dried out and the sauce was congealed, the sheets of pasta curled up at the edges. It looked disgusting, just like something McGarrett would eat, so he fired it in the trash.
He was dog tired, worn out by another long day and drained by the freaking heat in this crummy island. Danny wanted a shower. He wanted to peel off the sweat stained clothes clinging to his body, and let the ice cold spray wash away his troubles. He deluded himself with the thought if he closed his eyes and stood there long enough, he could pretend to be back in New Jersey– fat chance.
It wasn't enough he'd endured the day from hell, but Rachael had called cancelling Grace's visit at the last minute. That woman was something else, a real piece of work, and sometimes Danny wondered how they'd ever got together in the first place, let alone made a wonderful kid like Grace. Then a sad smile played on his lips, cause deep down he knew their life together hadn't been all bad…
Thing was, he'd had the whole evening planned. He'd booked a table in the pizza place Gracie liked so much, where Frankie, the owner, always made a special ice-cream with her name in sprinkles. Then they were going to a movie – whatever Gracie wanted. Now, all alone in his shabby apartment he felt gutted and just wanted to crash, except his growling gut had other ideas.
Chinese sounded good, and the joint round the corner delivered, then he remembered he'd lent his last twenty bucks to Steve. Danny groaned. The jackass hadn't paid him back, and no money, meant no food, so grabbing his jacket and car keys he headed for the door. He picked up his cell and was about to tear a strip off McGarrett's sorry ass, when he remembered the guy had suffered an even worse day than him.
Danny could only imagine how it must have felt to come that close to losing someone you loved. His normally cocky, self assured partner had been frantic with worry, in fact, Danny suddenly realised Steve hadn't been himself since he'd got zapped. He'd wanted to call a medic, and tried to persuade him to get checked out, but of course 'super Seal' knew better. After all, what was a few hundred-thousand volts to a tough guy like him? Sometimes, McGarrett could be a real dumb ass, but Danny was worried about him.
The truth was, McGarrett wasn't the superman he pretended to be. There were chinks in his armour, big huge freaking holes the size of Kilauea- Danny had seen them. The raw aching pain Steve tried to hide the first time they'd met, when he was searching for his father's killer. But nothing compared to the shock on the poor guy's face, when Steve found out his sister was missing.
Family was important, and despite all their differences, that was the one common bond they shared. Steve got it, he knew what was really important in life, and that was the main reason Danny liked him. Sure, McGarrett could be hot headed and arrogant, but he would never let anyone down – not if he could help it.
A blast of warm air nearly took his breath away as he stepped out the door. Damn humidity, Danny hated it. It didn't help matters his place was so far inland he didn't benefit from the cool sea breeze. Suddenly a thought struck him. Maybe he should call in on the boy wonder, kill two birds with one stone. He'd get his money back and make sure the stubborn SOB was okay. Plus, if he played his cards right, he might even get to enjoy his Chinese with one of McGarrett beers lounging on the beach...
ooooOoooo
Someone was banging, shouting, yelling something but Steve couldn't make out who it was. He was shivering, but the water was hot, scalding, his skin was on fire – how long had he been lying there?
Shards of glass were everywhere. Biting into his chest, his arms, the blood pooling in scarlet swirls, flooding the floor. His head was pounding, and he couldn't see straight, could hardly move, he was in agony, but Steve knew he couldn't stay there.
He lifted an arm and saw rivulets of blood trickling down the trembling limb and running through his fingers. Raw, angry burns covered with blisters littered his skin, and by the tight feel of his body they were all over his back and legs too. The left side of his face where he'd been lying on the water was also roasting hot, but Steve was just relieved he hadn't drowned.
The tinkling sound of breaking glass told him someone had broken in, just as the alarm went off. Part of his fuzzy brain registered it was good to know it still worked, but who the hell was it? Last time someone tripped the alarm he'd nearly had his brains fried, then Mary was snatched, so Steve tried to move, force himself to confront the bastards. "Arggh…"
"What the hell?"
Steve was panting, struggling to breathe, trying to deal with the excruciating pain radiating in waves from his leg. He barely registered it was Danny.
"Don't move! There's a fucking huge piece of glass sticking out your leg." Then Steve watched, as Danny stepped over him, turned off the shower, then grabbed a towel and tried to immobilise the wound.
"Gah -"
"Sorry, but I have to try and control the bleeding." Danny said, continuing to rant while he started picking up the glass surrounding him. "Seriously, a glass shower screen? I don't get you, man. How much did you pay for this fancy alarm? But you keep your dad's old shower screen! Don't you know how dangerous these things are? Or were you just too cheap to buy a new one… Anyway, what is it with you? I leave you for what – a couple of hours? And you end up trying to kill yourself in the shower!" Danny was now on his knees beside him, but when Steve peered up, it wasn't to anger, but to the concerned face of his friend.
He tried to answer, but the sour, metallic taste of his own blood made him gag, and he choked, splattering it everywhere, including the new tie Grace got for Danny's birthday. It was then Steve knew he must look bad, as despite ruining his prized possession, Danny wasn't pissed.
"Sor…y." He winced, the small act of talking setting off a tight band of pain, crushing his chest. Steve moaned, and squeezed his eyes shut – man he hurt.
"Don't even think of giving up on me, not when I'm finally starting to make a civilised human being out of you. McGarrett – stay with me, you've got to hang on." Steve heard Danny yelling at him, but when he opened his mouth to speak the words wouldn't come, then the lights went out.
ooooOoooo
Kono raked an impatient hand through her hair. It had been hours since they'd got the call McGarrett was hurt, but she wasn't good at waiting. Danny looked a wreck, covered in blood – Steve's, but for once he wasn't saying anything, just pacing. He'd walk to the window, stare out for a few, then wander back and sink into a chair. A minute later back on his feet, doing the whole damn thing over again…it was unnerving, but she didn't have the heart to say anything.
She found it hard, just sitting there, the three of them looking at each other, no one wanting to admit how bad Steve looked when they brought him in. All of them too frightened to say what was on their minds, as they waited for the doc to come out and give them the news.
Kono owed him big time. If it hadn't been for McGarrett, she'd be just another rookie patrolling the beat, or writing tickets. He'd given her a chance to do something special, something real with her life. Steve had seen something in her none of her family had, except for Chin. She loved her folks, but they wanted her to go down the traditional route; go to college, get a desk job, marriage, kids. And maybe she would…one day. If she met the right guy kids would be cool – especially if she had one like Gracie. For now, all she wanted was to make a difference and Steve, well, he'd given her the opportunity to do just that.
He was a good guy, one of the best men she'd ever met. Steve gave Chin a second chance when no one else would, and he never gave her a hard time when she screwed up - even when she deserved it. Kono hated failing, hated letting him and herself down. Yet when she'd made a mistake, he'd just given her an understanding look. It was like he knew what was going on in her head, what she was going through. That she was harder on herself, tougher than he could ever be. McGarrett understood, better than she did mistakes happened, that it was necessary to screw up sometimes if she was to become a better cop.
Danny had told them McGarrett had coded in his apartment, but they'd brought him back. Blood loss, combined with the massive shock he'd received earlier in the day had disrupted the rhythm in his heart. It was a miracle he hadn't collapsed earlier, but Kono knew why. Steve had had a job to do, and nothing, not even risking his own life would have stopped him saving Mary Ann. She just prayed he'd make it. It wouldn't be fair for McGarrett to lose his life in a dumb way like this. The Island needed him, they all did. Besides, without him, five O wouldn't exist.
ooooOoooo
Something wasn't right, but Steve couldn't figure out what it was. He felt strange, really out of it, and he'd had the weirdest dream…
His eyes were heavy, but when he cracked them open Steve saw Chin sitting there, slumped in a chair, sleeping. Then it all came flooding back, along with the pain. "Nnnnghnn…"
"Steve?" The Hawaiian sat upright on his chair, and a smile grew on his face. He called to a passing nurse. "Can you get the doc, mam? My friends awake." The rugged smile quickly faded, when Chin saw the agonised expression on Steve's face. "Hold on, Steve, I've called for help. Do you want some water?"
The angry mist started to clear and Steve nodded. His mouth felt parched, dry as the Sahara. Chin pushed a straw gently into his mouth and the cold liquid tasted good, dousing the fire in his throat. Steve only wished it could do the same for the rest of his body.
"Hi, Mr McGarrett, it's good to see you awake – how are you feeling?"
The young guy didn't look more than twenty, younger than some of the raw recruits he'd trained in the Navy. Or maybe he was just getting old - right now he felt like a hundred. "Honestly…not great."
Steve was surprised at how weak he sounded, but the doctor obviously wasn't. "That's hardly surprising. When detective Williams found you, it was clear you'd been lying there for some time. There were second degree burns over most of your body, but these should heal without scarring in the fullness of time. The fall also caused a nasty concussion, but it was the extensive blood loss caused by the lacerations that nearly killed you." Then the doctor smiled, "however…I'm happy to say you're finally on the mend now, but you won't be walking on that leg for a while."
Steve groaned, but more from the fact he was going to be laid up, rather than the pain rippling through his body. Still, when the doctor loaded more morphine into his IV he didn't object.
"Just cause you look like shit, McGarrett, doesn't mean I'm letting you off with the twenty you owe me. And a new tie."
The drugs were starting to take the edge off and he was feeling woozy, but at Danny's voice he turned round to see him standing alongside Kono and Chin.
"Glad you're going to be okay, boss." Kono smiled at him.
"Yeah, McGarrett. Get better soon, brah. We need you back at work to keep her in line." Chin gave Kono a sideways glance then grinned at him, wincing when she nudged him in the ribs. "Anyway," Chin said, "we're heading off to report to the Governor. She's been calling every hour asking about you – she's really worried about you, or maybe it's something else?" Chin kidded.
"Yeah, right." Steve croaked, "Anyway…thanks for coming, guys - catch you later?"
"Sure thing, you're not going to get rid of us that easily." Kono said, then with a beaming smile walked away with Chin by her side. They were still snarking as they went out the door.
Steve watched them leave and knew he'd got lucky. After his dad's death he'd never dreamed he would be back on the island, working with civilians, but they were a great team. Good as any he'd worked with in the military, maybe even better for the job they were doing, unbound by rigid military rules and regulations. Together they were doing something worthwhile, making a difference, so maybe coming back to Hawaii had been the right call after all. Only one thing still gnawed away at him. If these good people who barely knew him, believed in him and were happy to follow his lead, why hadn't his own father trusted him with the truth?
A shuffling sound make him look round, and he realised Danny hadn't left. He was still standing there with his arms crossed, watching him, looking pissed. "Why the hell didn't you tell me you felt like crap?" He accused.
Danny's voice got lower, but more clipped as his rant continued. "You're really a moron at times – you know that? The doc told me you must have been feeling crummy for hours. Why the hell didn't you tell me? You nearly died, McGarrett…right in front of me."
As Danny's voice trailed away, Steve saw his frustration, along with the hurt.
"I'm sorry, man." He said. "Truthfully, apart from a headache I didn't feel too bad. I suppose with everything going on with Mary, I must have blocked it out. It was only after I got home -"
Danny pulled out his cell and waved it back and forth in front of him. "There are these magical devices called phones. It's easy, you just dial in the number, hell…you can even push the teeny weenie button on the screen and kazam! There's another person on the other end – you should've called me you jackass."
Steve had no answer to that, as Danny was right. The truth was he wasn't used to having friends, at least not close ones like Danny, not for a long time. He'd been so used to handling stuff on his own, it had never occurred that someone else would be willing, wanting to help.
"I'm sorry…"
Danny plopped down on the chair beside the bed. "Forget it…just call me next time – okay? Anyway, I can see you're doped up with happy juice, so I'm leaving, but Grace wanted you to have this." Danny fished out a folded piece of paper from his pocket. It was a picture of the two of them with Grace in the middle. They were on the beach eating ice-cream. Steve noticed the kid had drawn a big bandage on his leg.
"This is great, thank her for me will you?" He smiled. "And, Danno…thanks."
Danny shrugged, and looked uncomfortable as the color rose in his cheeks. "Take it easy, Rambo, and don't be giving these cute nurses any trouble. I'll be back to check on you later - just to make sure you're behaving yourself."
With the pain muted, Steve could feel sleep pulling him under. Life could be really strange, and after everything he'd been through in his life, Iraq, Afghanistan, hunting down drug barons in Columbia, he could hardly believe it was a freaking fall that nearly cost him his life. Why Danny had checked up on him, he still didn't know. The fact he had – well he owed the guy. He wouldn't forget it, but a wry smile formed when he realised Danny wouldn't let him. At least not till he paid back the money he owed, –and of course not forgetting that tie…
THE END
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