I have never written one of these before. But I was watching House Hunters: Renovation, and the couple was fighting all the time because the wife was being a total bitch. Anyone ever notice that the couples seem to hate each other at the end of those? The houses always look phenomenal though. Anyawy, I thought, I could write about a better couple than that. And so I was inspired. Please feel free to review or point out any spelling or grammar mistakes. I'm terrible at writing, or anything that hast to do with English. I could do calculus for days, but i've never been great at writing. So go ahead and be as harsh as you want. A good majority of these events are things that have happened to me.
I do not own Hey Arnold!
"I'm a little nervous," Helga said. She was currently sitting in the back of an Über, wearing a long sleeved LBD (little black dress) and black suede lace up heels. Her hair was thrown up into a messy high ponytail. To say she was uncomfortable was an understatement.
"Come on Helga, its girls night! You promised you would try something new besides sitting in our apartment drinking wine and watching Love Actually again," Phoebe said. She was wearing a modest t-shirt dress in a blue similar to the shirt she wore throughout her childhood and nude heels. "This will be fun."
"But a Latin club? I don't even know how to Salsa or Meringue or whatever," Helga groaned, trying to pull her dress down.
"Its pronounced mer-en-gey, Helga, and it doesn't matter because its Bachata night," Phoebe corrected.
"I can't do that either!" Helga said, but then sighed in defeat. She had to admit, even though she was wildly uncomfortable, she looked great. Maybe this wouldn't be so bad.
The über suddenly stopped. Helga tipped the driver and and walked towards the doors of the club. The bouncer checked her and Phoebe's ID's, and then the walked inside. The club was packed. There were bright lights flashing everywhere and people dancing everywhere.
Helga observed the crowd, who all seemed to know how to bachata. "If i'm going to do that I need a few drinks first," Helga said pointing to the bar. Phoebe nodded in agreement and they walked over to the bar together.
Helga looked over the drinks specials menu, not recognizing anything on the menu. Aside from the occasional glass of wine or beer, she didn't really drink much. "What do you recommend?" She asked the bartender.
"A blow job," The bartender said, not looking up from the drink he was mixing. "Excuse me?" helga shrieked. The bartender looked up at her, "Its a drink. It's made from Irish Cream, Kahlúa and Amaretto toped with whipped cream. It's very sweet."
"Oh..."Helga said a little embarrassed, "I'll take one of those-"
"As a chaser, we'll also take 5 shots of tequila," Phoebe said. Helga raised an eyebrow at her. "What?" Phoebe said as the shots were placed in front of them, "I work 55 hours a week for my residency, I deserve to have a little fun tonight."
"Have it your way," Helga said as she downed the shots. The blowjob wasn't much of a chaser, but it tasted a heck of a lot better than the tequila. She could still feel the tequila burning her throat. That definitely cleared my sinuses, Helga thought.
"Lets go dance!" Phoebe said, grabbing Helga's hand and pulling her to the dance floor. Two guys approached them as soon as they stopped in the middle of the floor. "Want to dance?" The taller of the two asked. Helga barely had a chance to reply before Phoebe grabbed the other and started to dance.
Helga never was the most "graceful," per say, but she normally could pick up things pretty quickly. The bachata was a different story. She kept stepping on her partners feet and couldn't get into the rythym. She looked over at Phoebe, who looked like she had known how to bachata her whole life. Phoebe always was a fast learner. I guess the tequila melted away her shyness... Helga thought.
"Ow," her partner cried. Shit, I stepped on his foot again, Helga thought. "I'm sorry," she said, "I've never done this before, and i'm not the best dancer."
"Here, let me help you," He said, pulling her close. Helga noticed he had a heavy Cuban accent. "Stop looking at your feet, and focus on the music instead. Let me lead you, and sway your hips to the same beat of the music." Helga rolled her eyes, but followed his advice. What do I have to lose, I already look like an idiot, Helga thought.
Helga followed her partners lead and moved to the music. She smiled a bit, picking it up. "See you've got it!" Her partner smiled. "Bachata is easy, it's Salsa thats difficult. I'm crap at that," He laughed. Helga giggled, "Remind me not to come here on Salsa night then."
"Yeah, I did once and looked like a complete idot. People looked at me like I was crazy. You're Cuban but you don't know how to Salsa? Disgrace!" He joked. "Well i'm Hungarian and Russian, so I only know how to clog," Helga said. Her partner looked at her in suprise, "Really?" he asked.
Helga laughed, "No I don't, I guess were both a disgrace to our heritiage." Her smiled at her, "I guess we are, he laughed." He twirled her around and they continuted dancing. "It might just be the tequila finally kicking in, but I think i'm getting better at this," Helga said, though she knew the tequila was starting to get to her. She could feel hear head spinning and things around her started to become blurry.
"Discúlpame, puedo bailar con ella?" A stranger asked. "Por supuesto," Her partner replied, and walked away. Helga watched her partner go, not sure why he just left her. She turned around and her new partner pulled her in to dance. "I haven't seen you in a while," he remarked, chuckling.
Helga raised an eyebrow. She recognized his voice. She looked up at her partners green eyes. Her eyes widened in realization as he laughed at her reaction. It was-!
Helga groaned and sat up in her bed. Her head was pounding. "I knew I shouldn't have drank those shots of tequila last night." She said, rubbing her temples. "I need some acetaminophen and a gallon of water." She pushed the covers off herself. She looked down at herself. "Well I must be a pretty coherent drunk if I was able to dress myself in my pajamas.
Suddenly she heard the shower turn on. Helga jumped and fell out of her bed. Who is in my shower?! She thought. Helga quickly crawled to her bedroom door and went out into the living room, closing the door quietly behind her.
"Ohayōgozaimasu, Helga," Phoebe said, sipping some tea and looking over notes. "Where did you disappear to last night?"
"What do you mean?" Helga asked. "All I remember is dancing with that Cuban guy and some other guy, coming home..."
"You don't remember last night?" Phoebe asked. "No nothing! What happened?" "You disappered after dancing with the that guy, and after a few hours I found you, took you home and put you to bed."
"Then do you know who is in my shower?" Helga asked
Phoebe raised her eyebrows. "No Helga, I have no clue-"
The was a knock at the door. Helga and Phoebe glanced at the door. Helga got up and slowly opened the door. It was...
The Cuban guy from last night. "Hey...you," Helga said. "Hey Helga," He said, smiling. "I figured you wouldn't remember anything, so i'm Julían, nice to meet you again. You left your shoes at my place so I thought I would return them before I have to go to practice."
Helga had so many questions, but she narrowed it down to one big one that was nagging her. "We didn't...you know..." Helga said. "What sleep together?" Julían said.
Helga nodded. "Oh yeah we did, all night long. You actually applauded when we were finished," Julían said. Both Helga and Phoebe gasped. Julían just laughed. "Of course we didn't sleep together, I'm gay, remember? I told you that when we were playing soccer last night."
Helga gave him a questioning look. "Remember? I play for the New England Revolution. Arnold, you and I broke into Gillette stadium-"
"Arnold?!" Helga gasped."Yeah...Arnold. Blonde hair, kind of tan, football-shaped head. You decided to play keeper and he tried to score a goal on you. The ball hit your side pretty hard, i'm suprised you aren't in pain this morning, he is actually a pretty good striker. But thanks to that blocked goal by I got to do hat trick!" Julían said.
"ARNOLD hit me with a soccer ball?" Helga said. Julían gave her a questioning look. "Yes, thats what I just said-"
"Helga kind of has had a little crush Helga since we were kids," Phoebe explained, gesturing for him and Helga to sit on the couch as she closed the door.
"Ow!" Helga exclaimed rubbing her side. "Oh I guess it does hurt," Julían laughed, "But I thought you both were already dating? You were holding hands the whole way there and you kissed him on the cheek."
"I did WHAT?" Helga exclaimed.
Julían sighed, "Ok, this is what happened..."