Castiel doesn't know why he's here, doesn't know what brought him here but he is. Trapped underneath the slow, burning rock of Sam's hips, large hands splayed across his lower back, steadying him. Castiel feels Sam's chest brush against his back as Sam leans down to bite hard at the skin of Castiel's shoulder, then sucking lightly, almost apologetically, at the mark after Castiel let out a cry. It's the first noise Castiel has made since harsh and bitter words were exchanged between him and Sam earlier. They had fought. Castiel had confronted Sam finally, or more confronted his own feelings, showing up in the empty hotel room with a calm and steady voice as he asked Sam what he felt.
"You know the answer to that," Sam scoffed because they had already had this conversation when Castiel's fist plunged into Sam's chest, confirming the loss of his soul.
A string of accusations came tumbling out as Castiel lost his temper. He spit hard words at Sam, hoping to get a reaction but all he got were mocking and mean words right back. Castiel opened his mouth to ask, to ask the one thing he wanted to know most but swallowed the words before they came out. Sam smirked and slowly recounted all the women he had fucked the past year, making sure to note that not once did he think of Castiel. There was silence for a long time, Castiel looking broken as he stared at Sam in disbelief.
"Sam," the tone of Castiel's voice broke the silence and it was demanding of an explanation or for Sam to take back everything that he had said.
"Cas," Sam spoke mockingly as he rose from the table and walked over, "I feel nothing still. No revelations. Nothing."
The last word hit with a sting as Castiel grasped at the hidden meaning, "nothing for him". Sam had all his memories from before, all their memories, but regarded them with an insulting and uncaring demeanor. Castiel nodded, a wounded look streaking across his face for a split second before he regained his composure. Sam kept walking towards him, backing Castiel up and not stopping until Castiel's back hit the wall with Sam's body following close after. Castiel let out a pained and relieved sigh at the touch of Sam's hips and Sam hummed, dipping to hover over Castiel's lips.
"Don't," Castiel spoke out in a near trembling voice, "No, it's not you."
"Ah, come on Cas," Sam was torturing him with the touch they had once shared, before. He nipped at Castiel's lower lip and when Castiel tried to protest it came out as a moan, pressing into Sam. He let out a defeated 'No' once again but as soon as it left the tip of his lips he knew and Sam knew, that 'No' was really a 'Yes'. Sam grinned wickedly before crashing their lips together. The kiss was hungry, detached and not Castiel's Sam but he welcomed the familiar touch and melted into Sam.
A sharp trust brought Castiel back from recounting the exchange and he had to grip into the mattress, legs about to give out as he knelt on the bed, to stifle another cry.