Disclaimer: I don't own glee- that's ryan murphy's job. if it were my job, things would be much different. so yeah. i dont own the army either. that would be cool... :D

so here's my first fanfic EVER. enjoy!

He joined the army right after graduation. Three years later, he was deployed to Afghanistan. Everyone from glee plus his family came to see him off at the airport. They all promised to write and email and send pictures.

But only Rachel kept her promise. The others tried, they made an effort, but it wasn't as easy as it seemed. His family wrote sometimes, and the guys tried to keep him updated, but it wasn't enough. He was in a different country, and they all had their own lives. He might as well have been on another planet.

But yet Rachel took the time from her busy Broadway career to write him. She told him of her newest shows, of Kurt and Mercedes' fashion line, of Santana becoming a lawyer. She sent pictures of her from her opening night in Wicked, of her and the girls having a night out, of her life in general. Sometimes she sent magazine articles or newspaper clippings. He kept all those pictures and letters in a box under his bunk, and looked at them whenever he missed home (At least that's what he told himself. It certainly wasn't because he couldn't stop looking at a certain petite brunette in all of the photos. It wasn't.) He always wrote back, too. About his bunkmates, about how proud he was of her and his friends, about anything, really. (Except his feelings. Because he wasn't really sure what that fluttering in his chest every time he saw a letter from her meant yet)

It was a year later, and he was on leave for a few weeks. He visited Rachel in New York- and surprised her at one of her shows. They went out for dinner afterwards, and as they were leaving the restaurant, he realized just how much he had missed her- and how much he will when he has to go back. Then, almost as if she was reading his mind, Rachel stopped walking abruptly and says

"I missed you."

He looks at her questioningly

"Uh, yeah. Me too. To you! Not, uh…me." He doesn't know how to make this situation less awkward, so he just keeps walking

She's silent for a bit, until

"You're going back." She says simply.

"Back where?"

She rolls her eyes at him

"Don't play dumb. Back there. To the fighting. You could get hurt! I could lose you! Oh god…I…I don't know what I would do if I lost you! And...and your family, and everyone from glee, and I'd have to tell them all that you're injured or… worse…or...or…" she gasps. "No, no. I'm not going to think like that. It's too pessimistic and it's really unacceptable for me to freak out when I know for a fact that you would never get hurt because I would simply not allow it. And if you were to get- hurmph"

He silences her by crushing his lips against hers. If Rachel could see them, she would have swooned at the romantic sight of two people kissing under the lights of Times Square. But she couldn't because she was too busy focusing on the fact that HE was kissing HER. Six years ago, she never would have believed it if they had told her she would be in this spot, kissing this man. She probably would have asked them to speak to Miss Pillsbury, because back then, he was too popular to even know her name.

He woke up in an unfamiliar room, with a pounding headache, in a bed that certainly wasn't the one in his apartment. (A/N : I'm just having him own an apartment in NY. I don't really know what he would have otherwise) He glanced at the clock "Shit! 12:30? Did I really sleep that late?" he thought. He noticed that the room was far too girly for his taste, and that he was alone. He got up, and realized that he was naked, also. "What the-? What happened last night?" he wondered. And then it hit him. Rachel. Him wanting the "full New York experience". The club. All that drinking. The dancing. Oh god the dancing, with Rachel rubbi- "Whoa, okay. Calm down there, buddy. Don't get too carried away. Alright, what happened next?" he tried to remember, but the night was only coming back in fragments. He remembered a taxi ride, drunkenly stumbling into her apartment, then the bedroom and then… "Oh god, no. Please tell me I didn't, not with her" but it was coming back more clearly now. He could clearly remember the night now, the moans, the panting, them both yelling each other's names into the silence of her apartment. But he couldn't remember if… "No" he thought "I couldn't forget to…" but it seems he did. There were no condom wrappers littering the floor, nothing in the garbage can, nothing in her bedside table. He was getting frantic now, until he realized that it was Rachel that he was thinking of, that she was prepared for everything and had probably been on birth control for years now. But he didn't want to explain to her what happened, even though she probably had figured it out by now. He didn't want to tell her that he had taken advantage of her drunken state (Even though he was pretty drunk himself, she was trashed and was willing to do anything). So he did the only thing he could think of. He ran.

Seven months later, and he still couldn't stop think of her. Of that night. Even though he hadn't meant for it to happen, it did, and he couldn't forget it. She hadn't written one single letter to him since before he had left on leave and he figures that she's angry. And she has every right to be because he was a coward and ran when he should have stayed. But he still wishes she would write something because, to be honest, he's never felt more alone. He tried to write her a couple of times, but he never got an answer. He's taken to staring at the pictures for hours on end and re-reading her old letters just to feel like she still cares. And as long as he can pretend she still does, he can pretend that she loves him as much as he loves her. And yes, he knows he loves her. It's taken him a year and a half, about forty letters, and one amazing night in New York to realize it, but he's in love with Rachel Berry. And he thinks to himself that he doesn't have a problem with that.

The day it happens started as a usual day. He woke up, ate, did his morning routine, and suited up for the day's mission. But he didn't plan on the explosion on the way there, or the excruciating pain surging through his body. He felt himself hit the ground, and realized that he hadn't even known he was airborne. He could hear voices and moans, he could feel the pain and the heat, and he could smell the burning of the metal and rubber that was once an army jeep. But none of that mattered because he could only think of one thing.

Rachel.

The day she gets the call started out like every other day since he had left her. She woke up, had her protein shake, got on the elliptical (but went slower than usual as to not strain herself), showered and walked to the theatre. Even though she was no longer part of the cast, the director allowed her to stay and watch the rehearsals. But just as she arrived outside the theatre, her cell phone rang. She picked it up

"Hello?"

"Hello, Miss Berry? You were listed a nearest of kin for…"

The man's voice trailed off as Rachel's heart sank. She knew they only called "nearest of kin" when there had been an…accident. She knew he had put her instead of his family so that in case he did get hurt, she could tell them, not some anonymous voice over a phone. But it didn't make receiving the news any less painful.

She was barely grasping the word on the other end of the phone

"surprise attack…explosion…burns all over…fractured ribs…internal bleeding…concussion…intensive surgery..."

"Will he be okay?" she asked quickly.

There was a pause.

"We're not sure. The burns are pretty bad, and he will need surgery to replace skin in some areas."

"Yeah. Okay. Sure. Bye"

Rachel hung up without even listening to the man's response. She sank down to the ground, ignoring her swollen belly, and began to sob violently.

If you're reading this, I just want to apologize. I shouldn't have ignored you like that. It's just that I felt rejected when you left. I thought you didn't care about me, that I was just going to be a drunken mistake that you made. I didn't want to be that girl, so I exiled myself from you. I did receive your letters. I must have read the thousands of times, but I just couldn't bring myself to pick up a pen and write back. I felt betrayed. I still do, a little. But after hearing you were hurt and may not be okay helped me realize that I'm willing to forgive you. And it helped me realize another thing.

I love you.

I want you to be safe. And knowing that you aren't scares me. My feelings for you scare me. I have never felt like this towards anyone, and I don't think you have either. But I just want to let you know that it's okay and I won't judge you because of it.

I still have to tell everyone back home about your...accident, so I took the liberty of organizing a glee club reunion of sorts. Everyone will be there. I doubt you can come, but you'll be there in spirit.

-Rachel Berry *

P.S. When you come back, I have a…surprise for you.

He chucked as he read her letter. It was so… Rachel that he just couldn't help it. He was relieved to know that she wasn't angry, but the truth behind her words stung. She felt betrayed. And he didn't blame her. He just wished he hadn't beed such an ass. He had only just woken up from getting the skin graft surgery done and was feeling a bit woozy, but he knew he had to get to Lima. He had to tell Rachel, in person, that he loved her too. He idly wondered what her suprise was, but brushe the thought away when he realized he had bigger issues to deal with. Like how he was going to get to Rachel...

Rachel sighed dejectedly when she didn't see his car. She knew he would be driving his one from home if he came, it's just that…well, he didn't come.

Santana looked up at the sound a sighed too.

"Honey, you knew there was a very slim chance he would show up. He's been in a hospital for what? A week now? I really don't think he's going to come"

"Two"

Santana looked confused

"Two what?"

"Two weeks." Rachel answered "He's been in a hospital for two weeks."

"Oh." Santana sighed. She had no idea how to cheer her friend up. "Well, at least you'll finally get to see how everyone is now, right?" She said, speaking of the mini-reunion of their friends-who were all probably waiting inside "I hear Tina and Mike finally tied the knot. And I'm pretty sure that Artie is bringing that physical therapist that he's been seeing. Right? See? It will be fun!" She tried with half-hearted enthusiasm.

Rachel just looked at her.

"Alright, come on chica. We're going to go in there, you're going to pretend to be happy, and then you're going to drop the news on them. And I'm going to record their reactions and send the footage to him so he can laugh while being stuck in a boring old military hospital. Comprendo?"

"Si." Rachel giggled, making Santana smile. There was the Rachel she knew and loved. What? Apparently New York can change a person. Rachel became laid back, she stopped being a bitch, and they became friends. Simple as that.

"Wonderful. Now get-"

"Wait! What about…" Rachel gestured to her protruding stomach.

"So what?" Santana said, slightly irritated. "If they can't get over the fact of it, they're not worth it. Screw them and their opinions."

"You know what Santana? You're right. I'm a star. I don't need their feedback on my life." She said, and promptly threw open the door.

But even her surge of confidence couldn't prepare her for what she saw on the other side of the choir room door.

He gasped. The door had swung open to reveal a slightly surprised, slightly happy Santana, and Rachel. A pregnant Rachel. Actually, scratch that. A very pregnant Rachel. So that was her suprise.

"Wha-what are you doing here?" she stammered, clearly shocked. But this was Rachel Berry, so unlike him, she was not shocked to complete silence.

"I-uh..I, wow. I um…I can't..I-I…"

He couldn't even form words he was so surprised. His hands hovered around Rachel's belly, and his eyes were practically glued to the spot. He wasn't an idiot. He knew that baby growing in there was his. He just still couldn't believe it.

Santana chuckled somewhere off to the side.
"Nice choice of words" She snickered.

He could hear a low murmur of chatter behind him, from the rest of the former club. He had forgotten they were even there. All he could think of was Rachel and his baby. Well…

"It is mine, right, Rachel?" He mentally kicked himself. Now he sounded all insecure and weird. And guys don't sound like that.

"Of course." She said."It couldn't possibly be anyone else's"

He felt strangely possessive after hearing her say that, so he did something he had gone far too long without doing. He kissed her. And just like that, she melted in his arms.

"I love you." he whispered into her lips.

"I love you, too." She whispered back

He felt a small flutter against his stomach, and pulled away, confused. He felt is again, and looked at Rachel quizzically.

She smiled softly and said
"It's the baby. She's kicking."

"She?" he said, his features softening

Rachel nodded her head yes. He couldn't help that grin that spread across his face as he knelt down to kiss her belly. He wondered briefly how he could love something so much that he had only just found out about. But the thought escaped his mind when he realized what position he was in. So he shifted slightly so he was balanced on one knee, took Rachel's hand and said

"Rachel Barbra Berry, I love you more than you could ever know. You always believed in me, you always put up with my crap, and you never once doubted my decisions, even when you should have"

Rachel looked about ready to cry, though she giggled at the last part, so he decided to hurry up before the waterworks sprung into action in the middle of his speech.

"You always wrote to me, and sent me pictures, and kept me updated when I thought I was going to be alone. You are the mother of my baby girl, and I want to be a family with you both. You have stayed a bright light in my life and I want you to stay that way. So, Rachel…will you marry me?"

And with that, he pulled a small velvet box out of his pocket, wincing as the movement bothered the fractured ribs, but kept going anyway. He looked up hopefully, only to be met by big, brown, and apparently teary eyes.

"Yes." She whispered, and he slid the ring onto her finger.

He could hear the aww's from the girls in the room, again forgetting that they had even been there.

"I call maid of honor!" Santana called, which was met with a chorus of "not fair!"s and "hey!"s from Mercedes, Tina, Brittany and Kurt. But it got a laugh out of Rachel, so he was okay with it.

"That speech was beautiful." She said, with a tearful smile

"Glad you liked it." He joked "I spent weeks writing it!"

Everyone in the room laughed at that, even Mr. Schuester, who nobody had even noticed until then.

The room began to fill with chatter as Santana Brittany and Kurt discussed wedding plans while Mercedes and Tina argued over would be godmother to the baby, and the guys grew excited over the "awesome bachelor party" they would be throwing.

He lowered his voice so only Rachel could hear

"Hey. Anything for you, Berry, right?" He chuckled "So you ready for this?"

"It's Puckerman to you, Noah. And bring it"

He smirked and pressed his lips against hers, ignoring the whoops and catcalls he got from his friends. For once, he was glad Quinn and Finn had screwed up in high school. If they hadn't, he never would have been here now engaged to Rachel Berry (soon to be Rachel Puckerman) with a sure to be good-lookin' Jew baby (that he knew they were naming Caroline) on the way. He was ultimately happy.

***EPILOUGE***

Quinn and Finn weren't ultimately happy. In fact, they were the exact opposite. After the mini-reunion for the glee club, Finn went home and punched a hole through his wall. He was mad. At Puck, for taking the woman he loved, at himself, for letting her go, at Kurt and Santana, for not telling him about Puck and Rachel, because he knows they were the first to know. He's just overall livid, and he can't calm down no matter how hard he tried. He doesn't go to their wedding, or to go see the baby after she's born. He isolates himself from the group, and stays that way.

Quinn, on the other hand, was depressed. She was sad. She felt lost and hopeless. She thought that Puck would follow her around forever and just be there any time she didn't want Finn or Sam or whoever she was with. She never actually thought he'd move on. And with Rachel of all people. She leaves after Finn does, and sits on her bed with a glass of wine and just cries. She cries because she saw how much Puck loved Rachel, she cries because Rachel is having his baby, and a daughter, no less. She cries for Beth, her own daughter who would be almost seven now, and how she never got a chance with her, with Puck, because she was so selfish. But she takes a page from the book of Rachel Berry (now Puckerman), and puts on a show-face like no other. She smiles at the wedding, claps and cheers at the appropriate times, dances at the reception. She lends Rachel her maternity clothes, and goes shopping with her to buy baby clothes and toys and furniture. She's there for Caroline's birth, and is chosen to be the godmother (much to Tina and Mercedes' dismay. But Puck promises more children so they can all get a turn. She grimaces at this). She ends up being a close friend to the Puckerman family, and it doesn't hurt as much as it once did to see them together with their kids. Their happy, so she's happy. Although she never marries, she has a good life, and doesn't regret anything. She made up with the people she once despised, and now has a large family in all her friends and their families. Sometimes when she sits at home alone she wonders what if, but never dwells on it. She'll just get up and call Rachel or Tina or Mercedes to talk, and everything will be just fine. ( but sometimes, she wishes she had children of her own)

As for Rachel and Puck, they lead the happiest life of them all. They plan their wedding ceremony in the shortest time possible, thanks to Kurt and Santana(maid of honor, as requested). As Rachel walked down the aisle, Noah thought she had never looked more beautiful. He saw his mom dab at her eyes with a handkerchief, and when he stomped on the glass, the look of immense pride in his little sister Sarah's eyes made up for all the times her eyes had been full of tears or disappointment. Almost a month later, the look in her eyes comes back when she sees his daughter for the first time. Caroline Aliyah Puckerman had been introduced to the world on October 21st (A/N: Mash-up airdate!) 2016. They named Quinn the godmother and Sam the godfather. Rachel had smacked Noah's arm when he promised more kids so everyone could be a godparent, but she knew it was the truth. And it was. They gave Caroline six other siblings- two sisters and four brothers- and still managed to maintain an incredibly healthy relationship. They moved back to Lima where they could be closer to their friends and families and have a house big enough for all their kids. Noah once asked Rachel if she ever regretted giving up her dreams. Rachel told him that she had gotten to be Elphaba on Broadway-that was her dream. And she had achieved it. But she couldn't be Elphaba forever, so she chose her family, and never once regretted her decision. So she became the glee director at McKinley High, where she helped it gain the glory of the original New Directions back. Noah worked at Burt Hummel's tire shop after finishing his required service in the army. You can still see the burns on his skin, but he doesn't care, he wears them with pride. He also helps coach the football, basketball, and baseball teams and McKinley. Every other Thursday, Rachel and Noah drop their kids off at their godparents' house and have a date night. The routine keeps their crazy in order and keeps them from freaking out when things get out of hand. And if you were to look in the bedside tables of both Noah and Rachel, you would find the letters that brought them together in the first place.

soooooo...what'd you think? its my first fanfic so i was a bit nervous but i think it turned out okay. i took a bit of creative license with the army thing cuz i dont know how it works, so if i got something wrong, feel free to correct me. same with the years. not sure if i got those right either. i hoped you liked the mystery bit and that i didn't give it away obviously. so yeah. constructive criticism and complimets welcome, flames and insults can gtfo. so, thanks !