"It's not her fault." I heard him whisper only steps away "She grew up with the Ozai poisoning her every step of the way, she literally doesn't know right from wrong, she was just raised this way. That's exactly what I'd be like if I didn't remember my mother so well." He's wrong of course, blessed, darling, sweet, Zuzu. He's always wrong. He would never be like me, I have talent, charisma, looks. He'd be dead. And she was our mother, ours, not just his, even though it did seem it at the time. I had been left roaring out fire and weeping pitifully for at least two hours, now my dear brother had returned all patched up with someone. Possibly his water tribe girlfriend, maybe the avatar, I was really past caring.
His whispered lies were masked by his footsteps, he was walking away, leaving me shackled to the floor in a public courtyard. I looked up in time to see his retreating back, before I could lower my gaze once more the water tribe girl had looked back, our eyes met and she froze, she stopped walking. Her lack of interest in his conversation caused him to falter and look back as well. As soon as his eyes were on me I looked back to the floor, tilting my head so more of my tortured hair fell over my face.
"She's just a kid." I heard him hiss with almost disgust, at father? At the world? I didn't care enough to speculate. I could practically sense the tears gushing up in his eyes, the sympathetic hand she would place on his shoulder, the childish rush of accomplishment he would get from such a stupid pointless display of affection. Idiot.
Less than ten minutes later I felt a sting in my arm as a syringe was hastily emptied into me, they were good, I hadn't heard a thing.
I woke up to the familiar flickering of torches on the walls, there was nothing but a thin blanket to cover me and torches issuing flames I could have recreated from the age of three. Out of force of habit I lifted my hand into a cupping motion and focused. Nothing. Not a flicker or a spark.
"It's no use." A faceless guard stated plainly through the tiny grill in the metal door. "Now you can't do anything, you're no better than the average cabbage seller." He was wrong, he had to be, I had to be able to fire bend, I had to be. I was fire princess Azula! I used to be hailed as "the living flame" I couldn't live without my fire.
That day I spent going through all the motions of fire bending, running through all of the positions and movements without actually being able to create the flames I needed. It was just patience I needed. Patience and fire. Patience and fire.
When I couldn't drill anymore I sunk to the floor, defeat washing over me and coaxing hot silent tears of defeat, what I would give for the unhinged apathy right now. Unfortunately you cant really call and dismiss emotional unbalances. I couldn't create my lightning either.
Before I even realised my eyes were closed I was opening them, to exactly the same semi-lit room, but I wasn't alone. My sleep hazed mind couldn't work out who it was at first. Zuko? The avatar? Mai? Father? No, no, no, no. It was the girl, the water tribe girl called Katara who had my brother clinging onto her every word.
"I came to see if you needed healing." Her voice was too soft, considering about twenty four hours ago I had been trying to kill her. Zuzu had been working extra hard on this one.
I ripped the blanket away from me and sprung to my feet. I was taller than her but that didn't seem to intimidate her. Her eyes roamed my body, taking in every Bruise and burn that were too easily noticed in the rough vest and shorts I hadn't realised I had been changed into. Her eyes locked onto mine, she seemed to flinch away for a second when she saw my rage, the only flames I had left.
"Leave me alone." I commanded with more force than I realised could flow through a voice that had no power behind it.
"I just want to help." She offered floating a large blob of water in front of her.
"I don't need your help!" I screamed, my anger coursing through my body unhindered now, I lunged for her, I wanted to rip her apart, until little Zuzu and all the water in the world couldn't put her together again. She managed to push me back with just a wave of her hand. I stayed pressed against the wall, silent and unmoving, scared that if I reacted to her, if I so much as flinched, I would lose myself again.
I felt water on my wrists, were the shackles had dug deep into my flesh and worn away almost all of the skin. I just closed my eyes tighter, hoped she didn't see the tear that had ran away before I could stop it, she must have seen it, there was no way she didn't. I was still too scared to move, too scared to brush it away. She sat down straight after she had healed me, without saying a word she just sat cross legged in the middle of the floor facing me, I let myself slide down the wall and when my knees were up against my chest and my head was in my hands, I sobbed.
She let me finish and compose myself before she started speaking, and it had been a long wait for her, I wasn't aware that she cared that much. What had Zuko actually said to this girl? He must have said that they were descended from the moon itself to warrant this kind of reaction.
"Are you okay?" she asked, when she finally did speak. I would have laughed if I wasn't feeling so tragic.
"No. I lost it" I wasn't sure as to what I was referring to, the words were coming out of my mouth without my permission now.
"Lost what?" At this point I was actually wondering if she was trying to be funny. There was nothing I hadn't lost at this point. My answer shocked me.
"The family picture." I think I was referring to the one that had been burnt at the beach, I wasn't sure. She seemed disappointed with my answer. She just shook her head and left.
I crawled back under my blanket.
At what must have been the end of the same day, I was escorted by eight armed guards back into my old room, the room I had as a kid. One of his precious little gang probably had my lovely newer room. I was glad nonetheless, I was really starting to think I'd have to use the corner to go to the toilet. Luckily I didn't.
The room had been completely emptied of everything, not a single loose object remained, all the furniture that was there was firmly nailed down and unmovable. A bolt slid closed on the other side of the door as I stood looking at the room. My room now, I suppose.
It all felt too surreal, I felt too light, too empty, too fragile. Part of my mind was screaming at me as the room began to spin around me. I heard the thud before I realised it was me hitting the floor.