A Friend in the Dark

Author's Note: I do not own Grey's Anatomy or any of its characters, all of which belongs to the goddess that is Shonda Rhimes. This story is set between 11x24 and 11x25. It contains flashbacks, heartbreak, swearing and some lemon. This is a story that has been in me for a while and after a break from the show, it only seemed proper that as I get back into my TGIT groove and watch the end of season 11 and start season 12 that I take this story out of planning and into the writing stage. I do hope you enjoy it and that you review it as reviews truly do make my day as a writer.

Happy reading!

DaenerysTargary3n

"Walking with a friend in the dark is better than walking alone in the light."

~ Helen Keller

Part One

Alex could not believe what he was hearing coming from the other side of his own bedroom door. The sound of springs. The sound of springs under the strain of bodies heaving together in passion. He fought the tears that were threatening to bathe his unshaven face bravely as he listened at the door to the animalistic groans of the man and woman screwing loudly. He knew the identity of one of the bodies – the woman – yet he could not work out just who the man driving into her was. No matter how hard he tried to convince himself he had to twist the knob and see the evidence of what his ears and brain already told him was taking place in his room, Alex Karev just could not bring himself to witness the act of adultery and betrayal he was about to.

With a deep, fortifying breath, Alex sharply wrenched the doorknob and entered the love nest, as prepared as he ever could be for the sight that greeted him within. With squinting eyes, Alex saw the unabashed nakedness of his girlfriend, Jo, as she sat astride a tanned and muscular man. Wilson (Alex could not find it within him to call her by something so fond as her Christian name) did not move to cover her bared breasts or her snatch, still invaded by her friend's dick.

"Alex?!" She shrieked, registering finally that he was in the room.

"Hi, babe. I see we've got company."

Jo's reaction to her boyfriend's biting sarcasm was to extract herself from her predicament and sweep up the comforter to cover herself, which helped Alex curb his lust for his errant girlfriend's body, but revealed the face of her partner to her cheated boyfriend.

"You? You bastard! You filthy, cheating, lying, heartless fuck!" Alex raged, upon seeing the face of Dr. Shane Ross.

He knew the former resident at Grey Sloan Memorial Hospital was in the country visiting his family and friends. Cristina had told him he would be at Derek's funeral, but Alex did not recall extending an invitation to Ross to lodge at his place and certainly not under his girlfriend in his own bed!

"Alex," Jo murmured, her hands outstretched in surrender, "I'm so, so sorry. I don't know how this happened and I didn't mean it. It was a mistake so please, please just calm down and Shane – go!"

"No, don't, Shane," Alex replied, saying Shane's name with true venom, "stay and keep her company. She clearly isn't getting enough from me, the useless boyfriend I am because I have had to spend more time with my widowed best friend, her kids and their aunt and the friends I have who are still getting over losing their baby and my divorced friends who are still working out their differences and how they need to share time with their kid, than her!"

As Alex narrated the woes of his friends and fellow attendings at the hospital, his anger became more and more inflamed. Since Meredith had given birth and she'd come back to Washington and him, he'd been there for her and for Zola, Bailey and Ellis. He had tried so hard to be there so he wouldn't miss signs that she was going to bolt again and once more rip the earth out from under him. He had been bequeathed the responsibility and privilege of being her person and all that that entailed. In the months she was absent, he had felt her loss and missed her keenly. It was sheer luck that had brought her back, he was sure, because she had forgotten he was her emergency contact. If her delivery had gone to plan, he would never have found her again.

He turned away from Shane, now searching for his pants, to Jo and seethed, "I'm sorry you couldn't see what you had with me, what I was prepared to give you and have with you. I'm sure Shane here will be content to fuck you in my place but just in case you realise in time that you made the biggest mistake of your life…"

Jo's eyes widened and she said hopefully, for her stupid error and its consequences was already dawning on her, "Yes?"

"Don't come crawling back to me. I never want to see you again. So you have until tomorrow to get your crap out of myself and into whatever car you're intending to move into and then after that, I don't want to see you outside the hospital."

Alex had no urge to listen to whatever drivel she had to give him and as he turned and walked out of the room, told her to leave her set of keys under the Ficus on her way out and told her keeping them was useless as he would be changing the locks. He just had to get out of the house before the image of the pair of them was permanently seared onto his brain. It didn't even bother him that it was his house and he had nowhere to go.

"Screw it!" Alex bellowed as he slammed the car door shut behind him as he got in.

He was disappointed, but it wasn't in Jo or Shane or even in their joint decision to make his life a joke. He was disappointed in himself for allowing himself to even hope that this foray with Jo into a long-term relationship would actually culminate in the white picket fence, three kids and a dog life he yearned for.

While he sobbed angry tears into his steering wheel, he wondered where he was going to go until the morning when he would have no chance of running into Jo and Shane as they made their exit. He could just crash in an on-call room at the hospital but the thought of the rooms he once used for his sexual encounters with the interns, including Jo, which was now a time in his life he had no wish to be reminded of, his tears came heavier. He could go over to Torres but he had no idea if she was at home with Sofia or if the place was empty while Torres was on-call. There was one place, though, where Alex knew he could find a haven.

Putting his key in the ignition and wiping his face, he knew his person would have the perfect treatments on-hand for his breaking heart and his temporary homeless body. He headed out into the hills, his thoughts filled with the mousy brown hair and beautiful, pale green eyes of his best friend and closest companion who would help him in his hour of need.

As he pulled up half an hour later in front of the gorgeous house, he saw that the lights were on, however dim and Meredith was awake and sitting in her living room. The thought that this is what she did whenever no one could come and be with her at home upset him, but he got out and removed his set of keys to her house and let himself in.

"Jesus, Alex," Meredith exclaimed, surprised at having a houseguest so late in the day, "you nearly gave me a heart attack!"

"Sorry, Mer."

"It's all right, but what are you doing here?" Meredith asked, looking the man up and down, noticing his haggard, melancholy appearance.

He flung himself down on the couch and buried his head in his hands before moaning, "Wine first. Lots and lots of wine, Mer."

Once Meredith had returned with a bottle of Opus One and two glasses and diligently poured generous glasses for them both, Alex began his sordid tale.

"I caught Jo in bed – in my bed – fucking Shane Ross. I broke up with her and told them to be clear of the place by tomorrow, so basically, I've got nowhere to stay, no girlfriend and I couldn't bring myself to stay at the hospital like some lovesick intern. Besides, the hospital doesn't have wine and my person tonight, so can I stay here just for tonight?"

Meredith pulled her best friend into a warm embrace as he continued to glug away at his wine. He had been there at every turn for her since Ellis was born and she returned to Seattle. He had taken his role as her godfather just as seriously as he took being Zola's godfather and Meredith's Cristina replacement. She would have been a deer in headlights without him and his constant support. It just made her weary that his actions had cost him so dearly and made him so sad and left him as alone as she was.

"Course you can. Do you wanna stay on the couch or are you going to climb into bed with me?"

Alex answered without hesitating, "Bed. Too old for couches, especially when you've been known to sneak into my bed. It's time I got some benefits from this 'person' deal."

His person knew Alex was joking with her, but she did reflect for a time on how Alex being her new go-to-guy had helped and comforted her while she had not been particularly invested or helpful in his life since Cristina had moved to Europe. This was her moment to give him some benefits from having her in his life and as his best friend.

"You're right, I've been shitty. Whatever you need, you can have, and you can stay here for as long as you want. God knows it's probably my fault Jo felt she had to cheat on you in the first place."

Alex shot up, gaping at his friend with an open mouth, "Don't you dare, Meredith Grey! Don't you dare take the blame for this! Jo shacking up with Ross is about me. It's about me having the worst luck with women: Izzie, Olivia, Rebecca, Lexie, Callie…the list goes on."

"Us." Meredith interjected.

"Huh?"

"It's about us," Meredith elaborated, gesturing between them, "having the worst luck…romantically speaking. I mean my love life hasn't exactly been easy sailing either. First there was Derek, who then left me for his long-lost wife, Finn McVet and then Derek left me again for Rose, then we split up after that when we lost Zola and the Alzheimer's trial, then Washington, D.C. And then, just, just as we were getting our shit together and Derek was talking about trying for another baby, he goes and dies in a freaking car accident."

"Not to mention the pair of you have nearly died enough times before that!"

Meredith could only nod into her still full glass of claret until she found her next words, "Yeah. Not to mention how many times you could have died too. Here's to Seattle Grace Mercy Death!"

They chinked their glasses sarcastically at the macabre toast and recalled Alex, Meredith and Derek's wounds from the shooting, how close Alex was to being a passenger on the plane to Idaho, Meredith's near drowning, explosion, Alex's electrocution, and Meredith's two life-threatening, difficult births.

"You know something, Mer?" Alex asked, his voice morose and depressed.

"What?"

"Out of all the crap we've gone through since we started our residency, I never thought it would be you and me as the last ones standing."

"You thought it'd be me and Cristina?" Meredith asked.

He nodded.

"Me too. Not that I'm disappointed that you're here with me or anything. I just thought that somewhere along the line, Cristina and I would stay in Seattle. I thought you'd end up going home to Iowa or something. Or Johns Hopkins."

Alex guffawed, recalling the time when he actually was heading away from the hospital and the family he had grown to care about there, "Oh my God, I haven't remembered I was going to go there in so long! It almost feels like I never was going to do my fellowship there…that I was never even planning on leaving."

"So you're not planning on leaving because Jo's been a cheating, lying whore?" Meredith asked, shielding her actual fear of abandonment with her derogatory comments about her errant resident.

"No, Mer," Alex whispered tenderly, pulling her to him for a comforting hug, "I'm not going to leave. I've realised one thing since I found her and Ross. Something that surprised me."

"Well, what was it?" She asked, unappreciative of his building suspense.

"I didn't care half as much about her screwing around as I did when you skipped town without a word." He tried to keep the bite out of his statement but his heart was still too raw from her abandonment of him to allow him to do so.

"Alex, I've apologised over and over for that. I'm sorry I left and I worried you. I just couldn't stay here anymore and I needed to get away from memories of Derek, and everything here reminds me of him. It was only when Ellis arrived that I knew I could face seeing him everywhere again because in his last day with me he gave me something precious which has only just started to overshadow all the crap we were going through before."

"I know, I know and I told you, I understand, and I don't blame you anymore. I'm just saying that what Jo did didn't matter to me as much as what you did and it's not cos I'm into you or anything. It's that you're my person too, you crazy bitch," Alex announced, more impassioned than Meredith had seen him in a long while, "and you left. You were – no, that's unfair, you are – the only constant in my life and it's been that way for about ten years now. Everyone else has moved on or died or whatever, but it's you and me still standing and going strong. I need you to stay around and God knows I've only got you to depend on and that's because you're the only one I can depend on, pure and simple. Plus, I'd never have done half the stuff I've pulled off for you for one of my exes. It simply wouldn't have been worth it to me."

"Hey, wait a minute," Meredith interrupted, "what do you mean stuff you've pulled off for me? What have you done for me? Besides the normal stuff I know about."

"Oh shit!" Alex exclaimed, just becoming aware of the effect of the alcohol on his judgment and his filter.

"Spill!" Meredith insisted, covertly topping up his wine glass.

With no small amount of guilt for keeping his deeds secret and embarrassment that they were coming to light now, Alex began to recall moments of their life to Meredith and shed new light on what actually came to pass and his role in the events that arose.

He began with the fraught period of their friendship when Zola had been removed from Derek and Meredith's care. Alex had not been blameless in that situation and he had despaired at his role in his friend's heartache and marital troubles that came up because of their daughter's absence. He told Meredith of his trip on the day of the softball game to family services and the ailing judge who was presiding over Zola's case. He stressed that he didn't know if it would do any good but he couldn't sit idly by and just watch as Meredith broke and when she received the message that night of an impending court date, he knew his borderline illegal activities to bring it about had been completely worth the potential ramifications.

His next tale he told featured a time he could do well to forget: the aftermath of the plane crash. He told Meredith that once it was discovered that the plane carrying her and their friends had gone down and the search began, which went on for five days, he had taken Zola. Callie and Richard in particular had fought him on it and wanted Zola to stay round the clock at the day care centre at the hospital, but he refused to countenance anything of the sort. He had used his pediatric fellow privileges and his status as Zola's godfather to take her out of day care and he took her back home to care for her until they were found, only handing her over to Bailey, who supported his decision to look after Meredith and Derek's young daughter, when her parents were found. He explained to a weepy looking Meredith that he had only let Bailey take her because, after receiving the victims' medical files from Boise, he wanted to make sure that the physicians who would be tending his friends were prepared and that he had heard every plan they had and every contingency plan they had for when their original plans went down the toilet.

Meredith's emotions were at boiling point. She was not angry but after listening to what seemed to be the first couple of many unknown instances when Alex had gone out of his way to do unbid and selfless favours for her and her family, her heart was crying. Tears had yet to fall from her eyes but as she swigged some more of her wine, she knew they would come and come hard. She could not bring herself to interrupt her friend in the middle of his résumé however, as it seemed she had long underestimated just how dear and necessary a friend Alexander Michael Karev was to her.

He went on to describe how he watched her for the moments when he could help, for the moments when she needed him in order to remain constant. He told her how those times in the early days of their internship with the Nazi when the two of them would just sit together and talk far more openly than either spoke with the other members of their cohort were the times when he tried to show her how he was worth her friendship and keeping around. She had been the first to see him as more than a jackass in scrubs, more than a juvi kid with a bad attitude. None of his other girlfriends, not even the woman he would call his wife, got past that. Alex nearly wept when he told Meredith that he was so grateful for this, when Izzie basically divorced him because she couldn't take his attitude, couldn't give his attitude the benefit of the doubt.

"I'm glad you know all this now, Mer, even though I never meant for you to know because I have to thank you for putting up with me, my crap and all the crazy women I've brought into your life and your house." Alex hoarsely murmured as his drunken tears began to stream down his tanned cheeks.

Meredith had no words for her best friend. There were no words that could thank him for his attentions to her and his efforts to secure her happiness. The alcohol in the wine percolating her bloodstream lowered her walls and suddenly she realised she was in the safest place she knew anymore: Alex's arms. Furthermore, she felt the heat coursing off his body in rays that were warming her through, penetrating her right up to her heart which she had deemed frozen in stasis after Derek's tragic death. Alex didn't set her heart ablaze but he definitely lit a fire beneath it, which was more than anyone else had managed in the past months. Not even her children who carried Derek's physical traits or mannerisms had made their mother feel a modicum of the love and warmth she had known before her husband was taken from her side.

Overwhelmed by the sensations she was experiencing within her chest, Meredith threw caution to the wind and pressed her reddened lips to Alex's softly. As she sucked on his lower lip and coaxed him into returning her physical advances, he caught up to speed and swiftly kissed her back with more passion than she anticipated. As he gained entry to her mouth, massaging her tongue with his own and sending spikes of pleasure down into the core of her belly tightening the coil that was building there, she pulled his muscular form closer to her own body. His arms wrapped instinctively round her neck and his hands found a vantage point as they entwined themselves in her hair, holding her lips firm against her partner's.

After a few minutes of kissing, it became apparent to both that neither had any intention of letting their amorous embrace consist only of a steamy make-out session or remaining on the sofa fully dressed. Alex pointed questioningly with his eyes to Meredith's bedroom and when he received a frisky smile that gave him all the permission and ideas he could long for, he rose and lifted her with him. As he moved towards the bedroom, Meredith's lithe legs wrapped themselves around his midriff and while he grew more confident in the feeling of her wet heat against him, she grew bolder in the more obvious presence of the hardness concealed in his jeans.

Once both had divested themselves of their clothes, flinging them about the neat and tidy room haphazardly, they dived towards each other like magnets unable to resist the pull between them. After a mashing of tongues, lips and teeth, they fit together as one and moved as though they were practised lovers. It did not take long for Alex to feel Meredith clench around him or for his balls to constrict and with no instruction or restraint, both friends came together in a divine flood of post-coital bliss, followed by a plateau of relief.

Alex could feel the familiar tug of sleep, a combination of the drink and the sex, but whispered into Meredith's ear, "That was…something."

"Mmmm." Meredith responded, already ceding to her body's demand for sleep, it too overcome by the effects of alcohol and Alex's ministrations.

"We'll talk about this tomorrow, then? Fine. Night, Mer." Alex murmured before chuckling himself to sleep, knowing that after such a coupling he would not be having a nightmare.

Meredith heard Alex fall asleep and start to snore softly. She had not slept well or easily since Derek's accident, but having someone, someone trusted dispel all the tension and stress from being a single mother from her body in the bed beside her and feeling spent was better than any sleeping pill.

Part Two

Meredith awoke and was greeted by two unusual thoughts: one of the past night and one of the present morning. First, she recalled glimpsing an empty bottle of Californian red on her coffee table with two wine-stained glasses discarded beside it before being carried into her own bedroom and screwed in her own bed. That remembrance accompanied the faint wine hangover that was prodding at her skull from her brain – no doubt a punishment sent down from her deceased neurosurgeon of a husband for bedding such an inappropriate person. Secondly, she had roused herself. There was no ungodly din or wailing baby or disgruntled houseguest-cum-sister-in-law to hold accountable for her waking up. She had actually, for the first time in over a year, managed to wake up naturally after what felt like a beautiful night's rest.

Pulling her naked form out of her warm bed and flinging on her favourite robe, she made the standard trip towards Zola's bedroom to check on her eldest child. It was her routine. Zola first, for she just needed a bit of a kick in the bum to get up in the morning but then was pretty self-sufficient until she needed her breakfast, by which time Meredith usually had Bailey ready and the newest addition to their family generally had to wait until her older siblings were eating breakfast, unless of course, someone deigned to come and help Meredith.

So, when Meredith glanced at the clock which was just about to chime for eight o'clock and entered Zola's purple bedroom to find the girl missing, she panicked. Rushing from Zola's bedroom into the nursery which still but temporarily housed Bailey and Ellis both, to find neither occupant there either sent the widowed mother into waves upon waves of hysteria.

Sobbing and shrieking, Meredith bounded back into her bedroom, "Where are my keys? Where the fuck are my keys? Screw that then! Where's my cell? Oh my God, the children are gone! Someone's taken my kids!"

Just as she flew into the large open plan kitchen and lounge to locate her cell phone, Meredith heard the painfully familiar voices of her kids. She promptly calmed her racing heart and her faster imagination when she hid herself to observe the striking tableau that was playing out before her quickly tearing eyes.

Meredith's eyes scanned each of her children checking them since she had not been involved in this morning's routine and found them perfect, noting that even Zola's hair was outstandingly well presented, something her husband had always struggled with. Yet, her maternal eyes aside, her womanly eyes rested on the man that was standing behind the kitchen counter chopping up some bananas to put into Bailey's bowl, which the little boy was holding out so hungry was he.

When she had woken alone in her giant bed, she had assumed Alex had been called into the hospital or he had simply had to go home to his real life and left. She could have slapped herself now that she was in her right mind and thinking logically, for her person never would have done such a cowardly thing…certainly not to her, anyway. He was most assuredly better than that, and as memories of all he told her last night emerged, he was better than she had ever been able to give him credit.

Returning her perusal to her children, Meredith noticed something that nearly crushed and made her heart blossom simultaneously. Her children – her oldest two at least – were smiling, smiling and laughing. Neither had managed to sustain a smile that reached their eyes or a laugh that came carefree since they lost their father and that was one thing that had weighed on their mother's mind. Nothing she had thought of had been sufficient to lure the boy and girl out of their depression, but enter Uncle Lex (Zola's nickname for the man that was her and her brother's favourite uncle) and all troubles were forgotten or at least put to one side. It was remarkable that the simple, domestic act of breakfast with Alex had reinvigorated her entire family.

"Hurry up and wolf that down, Bailey," Alex requested, fondly ruffling the boy's hair, "you, me and Zo-Zo are going to make breakfast for Sleeping Beauty in there."

"Who?"

"Your mom." Alex replied to the kids, making an internal note to get Mer to get her kids into some of the more classic Disney films.

"Oh, okay," Bailey piped up, "what we gonna make, Uncle Lex?"

"I dunno. What do you think she'd like?" Alex said, feigning ignorance of Mer's favourite breakfast.

"Pancakes!" Both brother and sister exclaimed together, evidently aware of their mother's preference for pancakes in the morning if it could be managed.

"Good shout." Alex agreed, setting about getting the ingredients to make breakfast with the children.

Though Alex had been sworn in as godfather to both of Meredith and Derek's girls, fighting Mark Sloan for godfather in the case of the eldest, since Derek had passed away and Ellis had come along, Bailey had become very clingy to his mother's best friend. Meredith had asked Alex to speak to the boy about it briefly and had been surprised to find out that Bailey wanted Uncle Lex to be his godfather as well. He hadn't cared while Derek had been around to be his actual dad, but once his father died, he seemed to want the kind of care Alex had given all of the children but to put a real title on it, since the kids knew he wasn't their blood uncle. Alex had told Bailey that he had a godfather, so he wasn't any worse off than the girls and it wasn't as though Uncle Lex would ever leave him out because by chance he wasn't Bailey's godfather (that role had been given to Ben Warren, seeing as Miranda was his godmother and namesake).

Meredith remembered how Bailey had complained that his godfather didn't spend as much time with him as Alex did with them all and despite it being explained to him about Ben being a resident and simply not as close as Alex was to their little family, it had been a fruitless lecture. Alex had then told Bailey that they could do something else, if he wanted, to make up for him not being his godfather. He offered to be his godbrother instead (something that Meredith found slightly weird now, having slept with Alex, but ever so cute when it had occurred). Alex had said that since Bailey's mom was in charge of him and his life since she had become his healthcare proxy, she was like a kind of godmother to him, so he said they could do much more fun stuff than a godfather could do with his godson as godbrothers. Zola had understood her brother's desire to have Uncle Lex as a god-something so she had just said to Alex later that he was her favourite uncle and she was glad he was her godfather.

Now, when they were fashioning her breakfast together, still ignorant of her presence and spectatorship, Meredith was enchanted by Alex's proclivity for domesticity. She knew he had a lot of experience taking care of his siblings but seeing him excel at something Derek, bless his soul, could not do on his best day at home was joyous to behold. Alex looked natural behind the counter in her home with her children, whisking up the batter and letting Zola and Bailey take turns whilst he made sure Ellis was still sleeping soundly unaware of the fun going on around her. Meredith thought in that moment of domestic bliss that she was glad Alex didn't turn tail and run after their stupid, drunk and lonely sexual congress last night.

"Hello, sweethearts. What's cooking?" Meredith asked, feigning ignorance, not willing to reveal that she'd been observing them for a while.

"Pancakes, mom," Zola replied with a wide grin, seeing how engrossed her little brother was in his job of pouring the batter on to the pan, "Uncle Lex said we could make you breakfast."

"Sounds yummy. I can't wait. Good idea, guys."

Alex glanced up from his task making sure Bailey poured the right amount of pancake batter onto the heat to look into Meredith's eyes searching for an iota of regret or fear over what they had done last night between the sheets.

"That's enough for now, Bailey. Why don't you go and finish your fruit?"

The lad went back to his seat at the counter and left his uncle to cook, leaving an opening for his mom to speak to her friend without young ears overhearing her words.

"Alex? What we did last night…" Meredith began uncertainly, loving how Alex had managed to make her daughter smile so honestly and unwilling to lose him as a friend or let her children lose their only father figure because of last night's sex.

"Was completely fine and amazing sex to boot. Nothing's changed except we're now sex friends. I'm not leaving and you'll still have me and I'll still have you guys. That's how it's meant to be, Mer." Alex stated, leaving no room for her to even imply that there was an issue between them.

"Okay. You're right and I agree. I just didn't know how you felt about that and…"

"And?" Alex prompted, not entirely loving this unsure version of his usually confident and outspoken best friend and lover.

"And neither I nor the kids can afford to lose you in our lives. You mean to much to me and they need you to stick around. Besides me, you're the most important person in their lives, more so than Amelia and Maggie, even though they're related to them by blood."

"Hey, stop getting so worked up so early in the morning! Everything's fine! Stop talking like I'm going to flit off somewhere when I've just said I'm sticking around!" Alex chided her kindly.

He turned away from her momentarily to place more banana slices and chunks of other miscellaneous fruit on Zola and Bailey's plates. It also seemed by the delicate cooing noises coming from the travel crib that little miss Ellis was waking up properly, so Alex went over to the cot and pulled the infant out into his warm, strong arms, bringing her back over to the kitchen counter so she would be with her family.

"Hello, sweetheart," Alex crooned to the baby, "come and be with mom, your siblings and your godfather for a while. Then, we'll get you fed and bathed and ready for some fun today."

Ellis gurgled contentedly, staring up at her favourite uncle with her bright blue eyes, just enjoying having his arms around her first thing in the morning. She was a curious thing and smiled slightly when it seemed that everyone including her mother, who rarely smiled, was happy.

"Alex," Meredith called, "come here and let me ask you something. I want you to promise me something, something I've been thinking about for a while. I want you to promise me that if something happens to me, if I die or if I get Alzheimer's and forget my own name, you will take my kids. You're more my family than Amelia and Maggie or anyone else and the kids see you that way too. I've got paperwork drawn up so no one will challenge that this time and prevent you from taking them, should the moment arise. All I need you to do is sign."

Alex had to actively remember that he was holding a baby in the aftermath of that request because he virtually lost control of his motor functions. What Mer was asking of him was huge and big and life-changing and unbelievable. It was her truly admitting that he was her person and not just Cristina's replacement, for he knew that when it was just Zola in the picture, the twisted sisters had had a similar conversation about worst case scenarios.

"I'll sign. I love these three and though nothing is going to happen to you, I'll sign so we know they're looked after no matter what."

"We're done!" Bailey bellowed, signalling that he and Zola had eaten their fill of breakfast and Alex clicked on the television to occupy them.

Still holding Ellis, he plated up Meredith's pancakes and ladled maple syrup over the stack just the way she liked them. Looking down at the baby's angelic face, he was about to ask her if she wanted her milk but when he saw the drool spilling over her plump lips and over her chin, he snickered.

"What's so funny?"

Alex answered with a mischievous twinkle in his eye, "Oh nothing. Just that Ellis has inherited her ability to drool from her mother and it's so cute."

"I don't drool!" Meredith retorted, feeling a blush creep up to her neck from between her breasts.

"Yeah, you do, but like I said, it's cute."

There was a brief awkward silence permeating the air between them, an aloofness that had not featured in their close friendship before today, before they screwed each other. It was uncomfortable and it brought back all the hysteria Meredith had suppressed from her waking moments.

Alex watched as the woman before him melted. Her breathing became rapid and shallow, her chest was heaving and her hands were shaking so much that her grip on the cutlery she held weakened to the point that the knife and fork soon clattered noisily onto the surface. He had no clue what had made her react so intensely to a stupid joke but it was clear that something serious was going on with her and he had just made whatever it was ten times worse.

"Hey, hey, hey," he chanted, quickly putting Ellis down and drawing her mother's shuddering form into his arms, "what's all this?"

"Please don't be awkward about this," she sobbed breathlessly, "please don't make what happened last night into a thing that comes between us. Eventually, if we get awkward around each other we'll drift apart and then I'll have no one. Nothing has to change just because we had sex one time."

The man holding her against him could not think of what to do to soothe her nerves so he kissed her full on the lips. He felt her go limp against him and kiss him back. Their kiss continued until they both needed air and had to pull apart. Then, Alex stroked her hair and gently rocked her. He surprised himself that her words were welcome. He hadn't meant to make such a big thing out of drool but was glad that she took it a bit the wrong way if it led to alleviating some of the tenseness between them.

"Mer, I'm not being awkward. I'm sorry, okay? It was just a dumb joke. Honestly, I'm glad you don't want things between us to change. I don't either. I mean, last night was great but it wouldn't have happened if I hadn't just found my girlfriend in bed with another guy and gotten drunk with you. I'm happy it did happen, though. Who knows, we might be closer and better because of it."

She smiled at him and felt herself relax, but her fears were still not allayed in their entirety and she voiced her worries, "I hope so, but I can't lose you, Alex, I can't lose anyone else I love. Not for anything and not after losing Derek."

"You're not going to lose me. I'm not going anywhere. I was going to tell you later, but I guess now is as good a time as any to tell you what I've decided."

"What have you decided?" She asked, tremendously curious as to his new decision.

"Just that, really," Alex mumbled with hints of a smile pulling up at the corners of his lips, "that I'm not going anywhere, not until you ask me to. I realised it this morning when I was getting the kids up. I don't want to be anywhere else but here, with all of you who are my family, my only family. I've tried – God knows I've tried – to find my happy ending with a woman I love but I've had enough now and I realise I've been searching for happiness in all the wrong places. I've been lucky enough to have the love of my life, but have her realise I'm not the love of hers and Derek was the love of your life but he's gone now. I don't know if you want to date again now or in the future, but I know now that I don't. I don't want to get hurt like that again. So you understand I'm not declaring that I've fallen in love with you, but I do love you, Mer, and I love the children so I want to be here and be happy here with all of you."

Meredith for what seemed like an age did not know how to respond to her best friend and his overtures, but eventually said, "You actually want to stay here with me, an old widow with three kids?"

"You're not old! You're my best friend and I want to be here with you and be your family, hell, be your person properly in everything, not just when you're in trouble. I want to be here for you and I want you to rely on me as I rely on you. Even though I'm not the kids' father or your husband, we could have the family we've always wanted, Mer, right here between the two of us. Sure, it's not ideal and not what we originally wanted but we could be happy."

"Let me be sure I'm getting this straight and that I'm not in some kind of hallucination. You want to move in here and what? Be my live-in best friend and the kids' nanny?" Meredith questioned, not meaning to sound harsh, but not wanting to let herself believe that Alex was proposing to be her true partner for the foreseeable future.

Suddenly, Meredith was tugged from the kitchen towards the vestibule that led to the bedrooms out of the children's line of sight. Alex pressed her between the wall and his own heated body so she could feel every contour of him and in particular a growing bulge in his pants.

"I don't want to be your best friend. That's a stupid and childish term for the friendship we have. I want to be your family and family to the kids. I certainly do not want to be their nanny! And we can live as friends, as the closest of friends, unless we feel the itch arise and the need to scratch it."

Meredith kissed him chastely on the lips, revelling in the security of his friendship and place in her family. As she pressed closer to him, and deepened their kiss, she felt his erection against her stomach and felt her own sexual appetite swell up inside her. When she felt strong arms snake round her waist and elevate her slightly, she had no wish to remain on the ground and apart from her closest companion. Wrapping her legs around his waist and feeling his hardness against her heat felt familiar, though it had happened for the first time only the previous night, and she needed familiar.

"It seems my itch from last night is still here and wanting to be scratched." Alex noted playfully, biting his lover's bottom lip in jest.

"Well then, Dr Karev," Meredith responded in kind, "I suppose we'd better scratch that itch in our room."

Just as the amorous pair were about to move into the privacy of their bedroom, something Alex was about to remark upon, childish voices called them from the living room.

"Mom, Uncle Lex, come and play! We need four people."

Both adults laughed at the child's insistence but separated and walked back into the family room where Bailey and Zola were getting one of their many board games out from under the coffee table but were typically arguing over which colour they would each play as.

"Are you sure this is what you want? A future of arguing children and me?" Meredith asked, as they walked back, though now she knew what his answer would be.

"I'm sure. You and the children are all I want."

Meredith smiled, her heart gladdened now she understood that she would not be alone like her mother had been to raise her young children, Derek's children, that her Richard, her Alex had stayed and not left her at the carousel that never stops turning.

"So once these two are in day care, we'll take Ellis up to the old house and pack your stuff. You're moving in here as soon as we do." Meredith announced, cherishing the look of sheer glee on Alex's face.

"You don't want to move back into your old home? I thought that's what you might want, seeing as this is house is so…Derek." He replied, cautious about his reference to the man whose place he was going to take.

"No. I want to live here with you."

That said, Zola and Bailey desired their mother and uncle's full attention on them and the game they had diligently laid out and prevented the further discussion of where and how they would all live together. The four of them then set about their game, which Alex and Meredith permitted Zola to win, with Ellis in her crib happily gurgling away, completing the family that had been broken but stitched back together.