Chapter 1. I completely hate mornings.

"Forever and forever and forever," he murmured.

"That sounds exactly right to me."

And then we continued blissfully into this small perfect piece of our forever.....

And then,I woke up.

I opened my eyes in shock,disbelief,horror but the most strong emotion.Pain,I thought to myself 'Wait..Vampires can't sleep?'

Then,In shocking realization..I really understood what was happening.

I was dreaming all were no such thing as vampires,No such thing as shape-shifting werewolves.

I had no other ,Esme,Emmet,Rosalie,Jasper,Alice..They were not true.Just a beautiful amazing figment of my the worst part hit me,

Edward and my beautiful Rennessme.

My beautiful curly haired wide eyed Rennessme was just..gone.And the one and only love of my life,Edward Anthony Masen Cullen,Ceased to exist.

I screamed,And I cried..I writhed in pain and ran up the stair's immediately,I told him I was having growing pains in my leg and that it will go away the whole thing was,The truth was that it will never! Go away.I had lost everything meaningful to baby,my husband,my best friend,my second mother,my second father..My life.

Their was no Jacob to patch up the hole I once dreamt about,Nothing.There was only bitter school,work and life it's self to life to me now is a silly little terrible horrid excuse for being alive right now,Which was something I didn't want to be!And then I ventured to a little space of my imagination..Memories.

I thought about our first kiss,our first danger.But I tried to stop thinking about the bad and straight to the good.

The night we came back from Volterra,And the way he kissed me..So urgent on my the way his rock body lined against night he unformally proposed and I thought it was a the night he slid that ring on my finger,The day I we got married..The way I always got lost in his warm golden,butterscotch eyes.

How he alway's took my breath away and the way he 'dazzled' wedding night,the way I felt when my beautiful innocent hyper,excited baby felt in my first hunt..which was so perfect as the other pain killed me.I was on the verge on jumping out the I knew on my way to suffer another worthless day of school I would die by my trip in front of a moving bus,Trip and fall down into a river and drown or drip on knives knowing my luck.

I was now boring,clumsy and depressed Isabella Marie Swan -I said my last name in sheer disgust..Not Isabella Marie Cullen,Wife, and Mother of of course my most odd title..Vampire.I was a strong powerful unbreakle immortal being.

Now some clumsy teenager who cant open a can of stupid pickles.

I turned around in my bed to face the window,Raining..Raining cats and 's swirling in the breeze and hail falling from the sky.A clash of thunder erupted in my ears.

I thought to myself with undeniable hope 'Maybe it's Emmet and Edward playing baseball?'

Obviously not!As much as I wished it were them..It wasn't.

Then I thought about...Our meadow.

The pain ripped! Right through me now..Not my stomach though.

My brain,heart,every limb and organ.

With aimless stupidity,I got out of bed,And got dressed.I hopped into my broken down Chevy and drove.I could remember then turn's and everything,It seemed still so real to big beautiful coma.I parked my car at the side of the rode and left my jacket inside the car.I decided to wear the same blue blouse Edward commented me on the night he saved my from serial rapist's in Port mind told me that he never commented me about the top,But my heart didn't.

I flung back the tree's with the swing of my weak arms and every so often I would get whipped in the face with the branches.

It's what I deserved for letting my imagination beat me to an utter pulp like this.

And then,I found it.

It was the meadow..Our meadow.I sat down on the grass.

And broke into wistful sobs and oceans on I bettween my sobs I screamed out true,emotional words.

"Why?Why god?Why do this to me?How could you just use me mind as a little toy!Why couldn't you just let it be true?!My Baby,My husband my family...how could you do such a thing to a defenseless human like me?You already made me a magnet to must seriously hate me."

I sat there quietly,My arms around my legs and my face hidden between my knees.

This was something that was not fixable.