Disclaimer: I own the Mary Sues and Mary Sue hunters in this fic. I do NOT own LOTR.

Note: Sections in italics represent parts of the Mary Sue fic.

-Vanithaura Lúthien Aralassë Jessamine Evenstar, daughter of Morgoth and Ungoliant, rode up to the gates of Rivendell on her winged black horse, Dusk Jewel.

She was beautiful in a dark way, with a more-than-perfect figure and long, gleaming hair, of a hue darker than night, and which was wavy and reached to her feet when loose, but she had part of it in braids cleverly twisted into a midnight crown on her head, so that the loose strands only reached to her hips. Her face was heart-shaped, her perfect lips ruby and luscious, her eyes wide and of a blue-green like the sea, with pupils of the deepest black and fiery rings circling the irises, and framed by long dark lashes. She wore a long dress of deep blue velvet, with diamonds sparkling on the low neckline, and glimmering pearls scattered on the full skirt. She shimmered with a radiant aura which gave her an ethereal appearance. All in all, she was the loveliest, most beautiful woman that Figwit had ever seen.

"I am Vanithaura Lúthien Aralassë Jessamine Evenstar. I have come to Rivendell to attend the Council. Will you escort me there?" Her enchanting voice was clear and delicate, like the ringing of silver bells, and sparkled like starlight.

"As you wish, my lady," said The Awed Figwit. "Follow me."-

"I don't believe this," said Emma. "Brand! I'm four paragraphs- FOUR PARAGRAPHS- into a Mary Sue story and already I want to kill her! No, I want to mutilate and torture her until she begs for death! Brand! Brand! Drop whatever you're- oh." She dropped her voice to a more normal level as her partner appeared, placed a hand on her shoulder, and looked at her computer screen. "Look at this. Just look at it! This is disgraceful, even for a freaking Sue!"

"You always say that," replied Brand, who was a great deal calmer than the volatile Emma, whose fiery temper deserved a warning label, 'Caution- Hazardous Personality.' "Every time you've ever found a Sue, you've said almost that exact same thing."
"Well this one deserves it! Look! 'The Awed Figwit'? Is that a description or a username? And why does she have Figwit as the guard, or whatever you call a person who's just standing around waiting to escort Sues to the Council?" Emma's voice had progressed to a frightfully high screech by the end of that last question, for her mouth firmly believed that her voice ought to continuously rise in pitch when uttering any sentence ending in a question mark. "I mean, Figwit? Does he have any purpose here besides being there and being hot?"
"No, probably not. And her being the 'daughter of Morgoth and Ungoliant' is one highly improbable and uncanonical thing, but at the very least she should be acting evil."
"Probably just an excuse to make her character look awesome because she's half-Maia, half-Vala."
"And look at her name- 'Lúthien'? Morgoth hated her. 'Jessamine' isn't even a proper Arda name, and 'Evenstar' makes no sense this character. And I doubt 'Aralassë' was intended to mean 'noble leaf'."
"Of course not! But 'Vanithaura' is all right," Emma snickered. "Say, d'ya think the Sue's a LegoLuster or an Ara-girl?"
"She calls herself MeldaLaiquaLassë, but I suspect a love triangle."
"Obvi. What else can you expect these days?"
"Not much. And why would she come to Rivendell, and why would Figwit let her in?" Brand was rather exasperated.
"Because she's a Sue. And I really don't know. I guess we'll have to look at the Council scene, and hope we don't throw up."

-"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old, you have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor," said Elrond.
"The One Ring. Ick." Said Vanithaura.-

"'The Ring. Ick'?"Emma mocked, disbelieving. She scrolled down to the next mention of the Sue, wanting to skip as much of this as possible.

-"I will also come." Vanithaura said, rising and moving to stand next to the others.
"But she is a woman! She cannot come!" Objected Boromir.
"Boromir, Vanithaura is more worthy than any of you to come on this quest. Her powers rival those of the Valar and are certainly greater than those of Sauron, Sayruman, or any other threat you may face. If you will not accept her, then you will not go on the quest." Said Elrond.
"I refuse to accompany this woman," said Boromir, and went back to his seat.
"You do not have to leave, Boromir," said Vanithaura, but the man was adamant.
"We're coming too!" Said Merry and Sam and Pippin.
"Nine Companions. So be it. You will be the Fellowship of the Ring."
"Yay. Where are we going again?" Asked Pippin.-

"Oh, I just love this. This girl thinks she's so clever. Throw Boromir out, add in the Sue, give her a chance to look good while you're at it, and there! It's not a Tenth Walker, so it's not cliché! It's like-"
"Emma!" One of the agents called, interrupting her rant. "We just a Haldir/Spitfire Sue fic and Mary's begging for some serious butt-kicking. Care to deal with it?"
"Tempting, but I've got some more pressing concerns! Get Cilintillë." Emma turned her attention back to Vanithaura. "The nerve of this girl! Honestly! When we catch her, I intend to rip the flesh off her bones until she bleeds to death! I will yank her pretty hair out of her arrogant little head! I will-"
"I agree that we have plenty of charges against her already. At this point we have only to find a point at which she will be vulnerable."
"Oh, we must read more of this absurdity?! This rubbish?! This sacrilege?! Remind me, Brand, why I devote my life to this."
He smiled. "Because you like torturing Sues once you catch them."
"Yes, that is a good reason, isn't it? Oh well, fine, I suppose that if I must read, I must read."

-Somewhere in Eriador, Vanithaura was dangling her feet in the stream and singing softly to herself as she brushed her silky midnight hair, when Legolas approached her.
"Greetings, Vanithaura. May I assist you?"
She looked up at him, surprised, for she had not heard him approach. "Why, yes, I suppose. And please call me Vani."
"You have such lovely hair, Vani," said Legolas as he sat beside her on the riverbank and tangled his fingers in the midnight strands, and set about making a braid of it.
"Why, thank you, Legolas," she smiled, giggling for his fingers tickled her.
And then she looked into his blue eyes, and he looked into her deep blue-green eyes for a magical moment, and he kissed her.-

Jess Ellwood, alias MeldaLaiquaLassë, smiled wistfully as she typed eighteen pages of graphic M++++ rated content. Then, before she was anywhere close to finishing, the unthinkable happened.
-Vani kissed up and down Legolas' perfect neck, then buried her fangs into his flesh and sucked the blood from his veins.-
What?! Jess startled, for that was not how her scene was supposed to go. Surely she hadn't typed that? Unless...unless Legolas had turned into a vampire, too, and then they could have hot vampire sex! Her mind raced at the new and rather appealing possibilities of using vampire fangs...
It was not to be.
Her computer screen dissolved into static as a pale delicate hand, with long fingers and perfectly manicured nails, crimson and sharp, reached through the screen.
Jess closed her eyes and shrieked.
The hand was joined by another matching hand, and the hands pulled a lady, of slim but voluptuous build, through the screen.
By the time Jess dared to crack open her eyes, a vision of loveliness stood before her, with a waterfall of black silk, and clad in a gown of scarlet satin. She was flushed and her hair was somewhat tangled, and her skirt was dripping with river water (none of which made her the least bit less attractive), but the dress was on, nevertheless, which Jess felt slightly ill to note.
"Vanithaura Lúthien Aralassë Jessamine Evernstar!" Jess said. "I-"
"Shut up," said the vision of loveliness with perfect lips twisted into a scowl and hatred burning in her flame-ringed blue-green eyes. "Do you know what you have done to me?!"
"I...um...wrote you?"
"You made me into a %^&* ^&*(% *$#* Mary Sue, you worthless idiot!"
Jess's eyes widened. She knew the term quite well, and like many others, feared and hated it. To be accused by her own OC of writing a Sue rendered her speechless.
"Vanithaura Lúthien Aralassë Jessamine Evenstar indeed! My name is to be Vanithaura Rúthien, and NOT to be shortened to 'Vani', either! You will pay for this, you will!"
Jess was quivering by this point, which Vanithaura regarded with arrogant disdain.
"I will take no more of this! No more stupidity! No more love triangle! No more 'redemption by Legolas and Aragorn'!" She leaned in close to Jess's face and looked directly into terrified hazel eyes. "No more MeldaLaiquaLassë." She swiped her knife-like fingernails across the girl's blood-drained cheek. "You will not stand between me and the domination of Arda," she hissed, and snapped Jess's neck before the girl had time to scream.
Vanithaura Rúthien, daughter of Morgoth and future queen of all Ëa, tossed the corpse onto the floor and crawled back through the computer screen, back to a world in which she was a demon far more terrible than a mere Mary Sue.

A/N: Review Please! :) I welcome all opinions, ideas, constructive criticism, anything!