Attack of the Atlantean Gizmo

First SG:A fic, I think the title sums it up. More humour will occur later on. Spurred the write this by a line that Ithought of while daydreaming.

Disclaimer: I don't own the characters or the plot of Stargate Atlantis

Part 1

(POV of ... well you can guess)

Passing through the Stargate was always a strange experience, for a second it seemed like you didn't exist then you did; in a completely different place from that where you started. Ah wormholes, confusing space-time anomalies… well to those who don't understand them and I do. Luckily because of one I'm back at Atlantis. A Wraith-free Atlantis no less. No Wraiths going to appear out of nowhere here. I wish I could say the same for the last world we were on. Not only did it have that eerie vibe of evil going on, there were Wraith there. The 'friendly' neighbours from the Pegasus galaxy whose only want is to chow down on humanity.

"Hey McKay, you okay back there?" Sheppard asked. The team had just passed through the gate, back to safe ground. Ronon was on his way to the infirmary supporting an injured Teyla.

"Yes yes, fine… perfectly fine. Perfectly." I muttered while my voice dripped with sarcasm. Honestly! How can I possibly be okay? I was about a millisecond from being Wraith chow, and if it wasn't for that annoying device that started bleeping like a miniature alarm clock I would have been. Which reminds me…?

"You're not still sour about what happened, are you?" He inquired, while pausing on the steps with a grin slowly creeping onto his face ruining the innocent act.

"Sour? Oh ha ha Colonel, just don't quit your day job. Haven't you got a debriefing to go to?" I snapped while heading up to the Meeting room. Why must he always poke humour into things? It's almost like he doesn't take his job on Atlantis seriously. But I did say almost, the other times when there's some sort of crisis he's on the ball then. No doubt about that, it's just how can he be so sickeningly cheerful sometimes? It's almost childish! Is it his coping mechanism or something like that? I really should pay attention to Dr Heightmeyer more… or even better. I should send him there, that'll fix my problem!

"Yes, yes I do and if I recall you have one too." He stated. Ah yes, that's going to be a bundle of fun. I'm sorry; I just don't see why I need to be present for a meeting where we say what I already know while I could be working on Atlantis' systems. God knows what chaos could have erupted in my absence… Zelenka is probably scheming as I think this right now. You hear that Radek? I'm on to you!

…Maybe I should go to the infirmary afterwards, I might have taken a blow to the head. Paranoia, just what I needed to add to the list of reasons why I shouldn't be sane… the first reason being a friend to Colonel Sheppard.

"…Rodney?"

"Hmm?"

"You seem a little… off. You sure you're alright? I know no one likes visiting the infirmary and being threatened by Carson with his needles but maybe you should head there."

"I'm alright, but if it means you'll stop poking with your questions I'll go after the meeting." I replied, with resigned acceptance. Damn that man and his concern, if I didn't know he was just looking out for me I would have snapped his head off by now but then again he does have a point. …When was the last time I ate… maybe I can sneak a power bar into the meeting.

Therefore on that note Colonel Sheppard and McKay slipped into the Meeting room for another one of those boring yet necessary briefings.

(Colonel Sheppards POV)

Boredom wouldn't even begin to describe how I feel right now. Yeah yeah, meetings are important I know, I've said my part…it's just Teyla did take a nasty hit back there and sometimes I get the feeling she hides her pain a lot. I understand that she's a leader of her people, but that's no reason to run herself down like this. One of these days it's going to take its toll on her…

But honestly this science stuff is giving me a headache right now! Not that it's unimportant… there's just this huge pile of reports I need done and I've procrastinated out of them enough already. The world was a giant forest; the only exciting thing we found was that Ancient facility. However it was abandoned which said a lot about how exciting the place was… We found nothing obviously, well except for a few trinkets which McKay's going to have his team examine but nothing that could help our fight with the Wraith, which by the way, found us on the planet. I need to remind myself to never get myself into a situation where I have to fight Wraith at night (the planets solar cycle was opposite to ours). We got lucky, McKay's gadget set off before one got him, I was in another room… I might have not been able to make it in time. That worries me…

"Well we know this much, the ancient at this outpost was probably an exile. The logs showed us that much…"

Ah yes, this is definitely the usual meeting. McKay talking about the significance of what happened, Elizabeth asking questions, Dr Beckett, Colonel Caldwell just listening and me… bored.

He's probably gone over the same details about three times by now, or he should have… What I wouldn't give for a nice sandwich right now… but I've got… what two hours until lunch? Just great.

…I can't make it. Urge to fall asleep growing… Hey is the light reflecting off of my watch? Nice, this will keep me amused for hours. McKay prepared to have the hell annoyed out of you. Serves you right for droning on I say.

(Dr Weir's POV)

The meeting was drawing to a close, which was gratifying since it had been a long morning. The planet had little significance at the moment unless the trinkets brought back were useful. McKay had guessed that over the years of laying dormant that the power supply had been diminished but with the equipment at the labs could fix that problem. So I granted him permission to go back after the Wraith had stopped their search. However John seemed uninterested, no doubt he had his mind on other things. Although he supplied his part, I couldn't ask more of him… but what he was doing at this precise moment was more than a little surprising considering his previous tired state.

He had begun reading the information in front of him, while casually leaning back in his chair. It wasn't this that surprised me, more like the mischievous glint in his eye. I returned my attention to Rodney as he went over the finer points of the mission, then some light flickered over his face. Rodney was caught off guard, his words slipped but then he carried on like nothing had happened. I spared John another glance, who was grinning like a monkey at the info he was reading. …Something wasn't right.

It happened again. Rodney was obviously getting aggravated by this light and his eyes followed to the source; John's watch. It all clicked just then, he'd found a way to amuse himself.

"Do you mind Sheppard! I'm in the middle of saying something of value." McKay snapped.

"Oh, sorry. Just reading the info, what's wrong?" John asked innocently. He was up to something alright, his favourite sport, McKay baiting.

"The light." Rodney stated obviously.

"Yes McKay it is light, it's almost midday after all…" Sheppard said simply with a smile tugging at his lips. Rodney looked about ready to explode at this moment.

"NO! The light is reflecting off your watch and going into my eye. Will you please quit it Colonel?" John blinked for a moment then looked at his watch, and reflected it into McKay's eye again as if it was news to him doing this.

"Ohhh… sorry about that." Carson seemed amused by the scene, while Caldwell was looking deathly serious as usual and looked like he was about to kill Sheppard with the glare he was giving him.

"You're not really" Rodney grumbled quietly. I figured I should intervene at this point before the situation escalated.

"Right, well I think this meeting is over, we've got the necessary information and I'm sure a few of us have some work to do. So shall we?" I said diplomatically.

"Yes, yes right of course. I'll be in the labs if anyone needs me. Oh!" He turned to Carson and started talking away. No doubt he's injured himself in some minor way again. John just smirked at me and walked off while the others followed suit. I wonder what he is up to now…