Disclaimer:

Please consider any work of fan fiction a carefully and lovingly done free advertisement for the original show can be watched at Youtube. The ABC website also has a four of the new more light hearted episodes to watch. Both versions are good. For an explanation of how Cupid switched hosts see, "Cupid 1.0 to 2.0 The Transfer." Write me if you want to know where two unaired scripts of the original series are at on the net. Itunes also sells the new show. It is worth the trouble to pay the pittance, download and watch over and over again!

Only 4-6 degrees of separation! If any one can, please contact Rob Thomas and tell him Cupid keeps failing because he is writing it in the wrong genre! Cupid is for Thinkers and Readers not merely for recreational Watchers! He needs to write Claire's book inter-spaced with protest comments by Cupid himself plus first person point of view descriptions of their interactions with Cupid from the other characters. If he would do that he would have a best seller on his hands as K-PAX was. This always should have been a book as the original Cupid and Psyche was, a story by Lucian of Apuleius, "The Golden Ass," written almost 2000 years ago! Cupid and Psyche started off as a book. They need to become a book again! Almost two thousand years later and we are still writing about this "colorful not crazy" character and his beloved Psyche!

What will we be doing with Sam and Al and Doctor Who, and the Beings of Star Trek two thousand years from now?

Ten thousand?

A billion?

I bet, something! We'll probably use AI technology to bring them to life and because of curved space/time this has already happened! Who and what are watching me write this and you read this?

Cupid: The Grand Masseuse; Extra Scenes.

By

8-) Elizabeth Hensley

Part 1

Trevor Tells Walter EXACTLY Who He is!

A few minutes after Trevor had called Walter and offered to be evaluated by the Linguist to determine his place of origin the Linguist heard a knock on the door and Trevor Pierce was standing there with the before mentioned loopy grin on his face.

He came in, took off his jacket and tossed it on the couch, then sat down himself. He was extremely relaxed.

Walter sat opposite him with his notebook and pen ready to jot down any relevant phrases Trevor used.

His willing, cheerful study subject said, "I know Claire can't tell you why she wants you to do this. I KNOW you are curious."

Walter nodded, "You are quite correct about that. I don't know why she doesn't already know where you are from. Can't you tell her? Do you have amnesia?"

Trevor shook his head in amusement, "No. No amnesia. Of course I can tell her and I do so repeatedly, but she doesn't believe me! Instead she thinks I'm a mix of Don Quixote, Elwood P Dowd and Howlin Mad Murdock all rolled up into one mad but calm and cheerful package. But hey I'm cute and she digs me! I can tell she can. I do KNOW that is a fact exactly because I am indeed who I am! But get this load of psychobabble! According to Claire Bear I'm supposed to have, quote, 'Hysterical amnesia with a confabulated fake past.' Unquote! She just cracks me up!" Trevor started laughing like this was the funniest thing in the world.

Walter smiled back a little nervously. The man was very easy to like but wow was he messed up! Cautiously he asked, "So who do you think you are?"

Gently Trevor said, "Of course you are curious. Anyone would be. I think it is best I just come right out and tell you. I do that to folks I feel I can get close enough to and I have that instinct about you. You and I can become friends. Honest friends. Claire thinks your doing this will give her a clue to my (makes quote marks with his fingers) 'real past' that she can use to shock me 'back to reality.' The poor dear can't understand I never left reality. I am beyond her tiny, tidy, little modern, Mortal comprehension. So many of you Modern Mortals like your Universe explained in ticky tacky little boxes." Trevor laughed defiantly, "Well Trevor Pierce doesn't fit in any boxes, not even the ones my own species tried to fit me into!"

Walter mentally scratched his head. Mortals? Own species? Ok Trevor DO just come right out and tell me! The suspense is killing me!

Trevor smiled reassuringly, "I don't mind cooperating because I know perfectly well I have to speak English some way, so of course I've got to have some kind of accent and use of idioms. So no matter what conclusion you reach I know who I really am."

Walter stared at him, "Please go on!"

Trevor grinned, "You amazing Mortals change your language so very quickly! If I quit learning for even a few days I'd be hopelessly behind. So would you. Just look at words and phrases added in the last few years, 9/11, win win, get a Life, lucked out as meaning lucky instead of its opposite. Blame Alf for that last one: Macho, tweeting, googling, facebook, even my friend Felix using my own name as a verb, 'Cupiding.' I think that is one of the nicest ways Mortals ever honored me. It sure beats ending some poor Animal's life in my honor. I never liked that! But what could I do? You guys get an idea in your heads that we like that sort of stuff and you follow it gung ho, wrongly or rightly.

"Then every few years I have to have a little, mental word funeral and say 'farewell old friends' to words I liked. No one but Edward Wolfgang Munster in reruns says, "neato' any more. I liked that word! Then going further back we have hundreds of thousands of others. Few use 'odds bodkins, verily, verily, thee, thou, forsooth, and over against any more. That last one has no modern replacement. I am over against Sachs. Sigh."

Walter asked, "Sachs? You mean Sachs-Gordon Medical Center the mental hospital?"

Trevor frowned and nodded.

Walter gave him a sympathetic and concerned look. "You were there, Trevor?"

Trevor nodded, "And I would still be there or back there if it wasn't for Claire's help!"

Walter swallowed. "I'm so very sorry Trevor! You seem OK, sort of."

Trevor grinned, "I'm so OK vitamins could take me, but anyway I supposed I deserved some kind of punishment. Remember the 'Hi Holly I'm here!' ball drop prank?"

Walter nodded, "You were responsible for that!"

Trevor grinned, "Yup!"

"And they put you in a mental hospital for that?"

Trevor sighed, "Yup."

"It had to be more than that!" What was that about 'own species, cupiding, hysterical amnesia, confabulated past?' Come on, Trevor. Tell me!

Trevor said, "Welllll! It's just I'm not your average Presbyterian! You haven't quite got mental health diagnosis down pat yet. Faced with someone a little out of the ordinary and your specie's first thought is 'crazy' instead of merely, 'colorful." But anyway you are coming along nicely. Give yourself a few more hundred years and you'll have telling that sort of thing a part mastered."

Walter gave him a bemused smiled and thought, Gosh Trevor! Whatever it is you think you are, thanks for being so patient with us!

Trevor continued, "For the most part you Mortals are just so darn cute and CLEVER! I just love you! I want to hug every single one of you!" Trevor put out his arms as if hugging everybody, "Come here you little ones. Forget your differences. Just hug it out!"

Walter felt like he had entered the Twilight Zone! We Mortals are 'cute and clever? 'Your own name; cupiding!?' Walter was beginning to realize he might have gotten in to more than he could handle! Trevor obviously had some severe problems with his identity! COME ON! TELL ME!

Finally his strange study-subject got to the point!

Trevor looked Walter straight in the eye, "I am Cupid, the god of love. I've been learning and relearning Mortal Speak for thousands of years. I don't mind it much that Claire doesn't believe me even though we go round and round about it." Trevor had stars in his eyes, "She is so beautiful she could be trying to convince me I was from the planet Vulcan and I'd just go, 'That's nice, Claire Bear. I'll consider that. Yes, absolutely I'll think about it, dear!'" He grinned. "Unlike some Shrinks, she's harmless!"

Walter was thinking to himself, Cupid! I suppose if they let you run around loose, you must be harmless too!'

Trevor smiled a smile as big as the Sun, "I really WOULD be crazy if I passed up any opportunity to spend time with a knock out like Claire who not only listens to every word I say but jots it down and files it away for future study!"

Walter shook his head, a bemused expression on his face. Trevor was obviously one of those Lunatics who was crazy like a fox, taking full advantage of the secondary gains being sick was providing him with and being very aware he was dong so. Reluctantly a grin crossed his face.

And Claire McCrae certainly WAS quite a secondary gain!

The Lunatic continued, "So here is what I will do for you. You have a tape recorder?"

Walter nodded still a bit in shock. "Of course!"

Trevor patted his chest and looked like a cat who had eaten canary for lunch, "Well bring it out and turn it on! I am about to take you back in time. No one in modern times has EVER heard what I am about to do for you!"

Walter got a dazed look, "Time travel?

Trevor laughed and shook his head, "On no! We gods leave that to you. That's what you Mortals are evolving to be lords of due to Einstein and Ronald L. Mallett, PhD. Google, 'The Real Time Machine' at Youtube. I'm just going to stay right here with you in the current time and give you a linguistics lesson about the past like you never received in college!

The "god" smiled, "All languages are a vine that branches and grows and turn back on itself just as evolution does. What was American is becoming English again thanks to television and the reverse is true. Americans are picking up phrases from Doctor Who and other British television. I've heard Americans call those strips of asphalt you "pauk your caa's in, 'car parks.' That's television! Body language is also language. I saw little Prince Charles swagger like a cowboy!"

Then Trevor asked a very good question, "And even dealing with your own kind, how do you distinguish what someone picks up from their Parents and surrounding Peers and what they pick up from watching Jimmy Doohan and Tom Baker and hundreds of other, fine, verbose folks out there in Television Land?"

Walter nodded, "That's a good, sound question Trevor. It is becoming rather difficult!"

With a twinkle in his eye Trevor asked, "Didn't know the Lunatic had it in him, did you?"

A bit embarrassed Walter shrugged.

Trevor nodded knowingly, "Wait until Artificial Intelligence gets going good and people spend as much time talking to Mickey Mouse as their peers! Anyway my first language was Greek, and not just any Greek. It was the ancient language of Thessaly in Greece which is where Mount Olympus is located. Greece is dozens of islands and there was a time when they were as far apart psychologically as the planets of Star Trek are. Star Trek is just the Odyssey being told over again. Homer and Kirk have only one difference. Kirk has a gal on every planet. Homer stayed true to his Penelópē. Other than that they exactly the same even to some of the same plots. 'This Side of Paradise' is 'the Lotus Eaters.'

"We gods had our own dialect of Thessalian. Languages change even within families and communities. You know that. Travel a few streets away from here and even English is slightly different, sometimes very different!. Claire Bear and Felix and Lita and myself have our own catch phrases such as 'cupiding' that mean something to us but would probably confuse outsiders. We gods were the same family for thousands of your years. In that time we changed the normal Thessalian dialect quite a bit and what we speak amongst ourselves is still a variation of that. We are probably speaking the oldest language in existence still used by a living population due to our extremely long, potentially immortal life spans but it isn't really the same as ancient Thessalian. It has evolved too!"

Trevor said, "This is what that sounds like the days." Trevor let loose with a string of vowels and consonants connected together in a way Walter had never heard before! Amazing! It did sound vaguely Greek but it wasn't Greek as he had learned in college!

Can you translate that?" Walter asked, intrigued.

Trevor grinned, "I just said, 'two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun!'"

Walter laughed, "You have got to be kidding!"

Trevor smirked, "Let's just say we gods get around when we feel like eating out!"

Walter had this mental image in his mind of a bunch of toga clad Giants marching into a Mickey Ds."

Trevor said, "And forget the togas. We wear modern clothes now."

Walter was astonished, "You can read my mind?"

Trevor shook his head, "No. But I used to be able to. So I know how your Mortal's minds work! And by the way we aren't all that much bigger than modern Mortals. We did seem big to the Ancients but except for the Third World you've caught up with us now."

Walter stared.

Trevor explained, "That is the other misconception modern Mortals have about us; that we are 9 feet tall and look like giant Arnold Swatsineggers. I wish! My Pops is six foot three and has a potbelly from too much wine and ambrosia. My Grandfather, Zeus is even shorter and scrawnier than I am. He has a scraggly beard and is going a bit around the bend. I hope it isn't hereditary or Claire WILL have her hands full! Uncle Merc has red hair and green eyes because his grandmother was a Valkyrie. Vulcan wears pop bottle glasses and uses a wheel chair most of the time. We think he's slightly autistic. He does gadgets real well but he won't quit inventing stuff long enough to treat the rest of us like, well like 'Human beings.' But we are grateful he cobbled together our electric system out of scrounged batteries and discarded solar panels. Only my Mother, Aphrodite and Grandmama, Hera really look like what you Mortals picture goddesses should look like. We are just Greek gods, Walter, not Hollywood gods!"

Walter said, "Astounding!" And to himself, "and it is too. For someone with delusions of god-hood he is portraying his family as very down to Earth!"

Trevor continued, "And back to my point. There were also dozens of kinds of Greek languages and as a god of that area it was my responsibility to know them all!

Here Trevor gave examples of several different kinds of Greek. He explained, "That's still the Mickey D's sacred hamburger chant, Walter. See how it is similar but not quite the same?"

Trevor smiled, "You are going to have a field day with those if you believe me enough to have your tape analyzed! Some of those dialects haven't been heard by any living Mortal for thousands of years because no living Mortal speaks them any more."

Walter was beginning to think, maybe I should have someone listen to this! But how do I explain how I obtained it?

Trevor continued, "And then I branched out and learned Hebrew, Egyptian, Phoenician, and various dialects of each, just because I could and wanted to. Little Cupid was growing up and branching out and with him the Human race! I have been so very privileged to be around for the best parts of your history! Despite what has happened to me; being cast down by my family for discipline I would not trade my life for anyone's! I am just so grateful to The Fates for the string they have woven and cut for me!

Walter said, "Wow, Trevor!" and to himself, weird, Trevor!

The 'god' continued, "Anyway as I watched the centuries pass the Anglos slowly moved up from what is now Germany into the British Isles and slowly chased the Leprechauns into Norway. No. They weren't magical little People, faith and begorra! They were an ordinary race of People who just happened to be on the tiny side who knew how to mine and refine gold when the Anglos didn't. But they weren't magical like us gods. Their magic was only sufficiently advanced technology. They existed as the Minihoonie of Hawaii and the Hobbits of the Indonesian Island of Flores, and as the Pigmies do to this day. They got tired of being mugged and interrogated by the Anglos for their gold so they mostly fled across the English channel to where they live in Norway today slightly taller from out-breeding. They love powerboats for some reason. They have heart shaped faces and Darwin points on their ears that rivaled Mr. Spock's. I had a host once that had those ears. He had to have had some of their genes!

Walter was thinking to himself, host? Leprechauns?

Trevor grinned, "Then along came the Saxons and it was fusion time for language!

And again Trevor gave examples of how the McDonald's phrase slowly changed as it inched its way north with the Anglos.

We had such masterpieces is this from Beowulf, "Ā-lēdon þā lēofne þēoden, bēaga bryttan on bearm scipes, mærne be mæste. Þær wæs mādma fela, of feor-wegum frætwa gelæded:ne hyrde ic cymlīcor cēol gegyrwanhilde-wæpnum and heaðo-wædum,billum and byrnum; him on bearme lægmādma mænigo, þā him mid scoldon on flōdes æht feor gewītan. Nalas hī hine læssan lācum tēodan, þēod-gestrēonum, þonne þā dydon, þē hine æt frumsceafte forð onsendon ænne ofer yðe umbor wesende: þā gyt hīe him āsetton segen gyldenne hēah ofer hēafod,lēton holm beran, gēafon on gār-secg: him wæs geōmor sefa, murnende mōd. Men ne cunnon secgan tō soðe sele-rædende, hæleð under heofenum, hwā þæm hlæste onfēng which means 'they laid then the beloved chieftain, giver of rings, on the ship's bosom, glorious by the mast. There were brought many treasures, ornaments from far-off lands. Never have I heard that a vessel was more fairly fitted-out with war-weapons and battle-raiment, swords and coats of mail. On his bosom lay a host of treasures, which were to travel far with him into the power of the flood. They furnished him with no lesser gifts, and royal treasures, than those had done who, in the beginning, sent him forth over the sea alone, child as he was. They set besides a golden standard high above his head, and let the sea bear him gave him to the ocean. Their soul was sad, their spirit sorrowful. Counselors in hall, mighty men beneath the heavens cannot say truly who received that load!' My father loved that bit!

"And then we have the time of the Canterbury tales 'wepŋ and wailŋ kar and oðərsorwə i knu ənoon evən and amorwə kwod ðə martant and s don oðər mðat wedded ben' which means 'Weeping and wailing, care and other sorrow I know enough, in the evening and in the morning,' said the Merchant, 'and so does many another who has been married!' Trevor giggled, "Even back then not all Mortals were appreciative of my talents!"

"And then came the finding of the Brave New World even though the Natives had been there already for thousands of your generations. They are the ones who rally discovered America! And also about that time we had Shakespeare and he had a ball with the language bully pulpit the Globe Theatre provided! Thanks to Will, English was never the dull language it had been ever again!

He added, "A man named Bernard Levin wrote the following. I think it says what I want to say. So here it is!!"

"'If you cannot understand my argument, and declare ``It's Greek to me'', you are quoting Shakespeare; if you claim to be more sinned against than sinning, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you recall your salad days, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you act more in sorrow than in anger; if your wish is father to the thought; if your lost property has vanished into thin air, you are quoting Shakespeare; if you have ever refused to budge an inch or suffered from green-eyed jealousy, if you have played fast and loose, if you have been tongue-tied, a tower of strength, hoodwinked or in a pickle, if you have knitted your brows, made a virtue of necessity, insisted on fair play, slept not one wink, stood on ceremony, danced attendance (on your lord and master), laughed yourself into stitches, had short shrift, cold comfort or too much of a good thing, if you have seen better days or lived in a fool's paradise -why, be that as it may, the more fool you , for it is a foregone conclusion that you are (as good luck would have it) quoting Shakespeare; if you think it is early days and clear out bag and baggage, if you think it is high time and that that is the long and short of it, if you believe that the game is up and that truth will out even if it involves your own flesh and blood, if you lie low till the crack of doom because you suspect foul play, if you have your teeth set on edge (at one fell swoop) without rhyme or reason, then - to give the devil his due - if the truth were known (for surely you have a tongue in your head) you are quoting Shakespeare; even if you bid me good riddance and send me packing, if you wish I was dead as a door-nail, if you think I am an eyesore, a laughing stock, the devil incarnate, a stony-hearted villain, bloody-minded or a blinking idiot, then - by Jove! O Lord! Tut tut! For goodness' sake! What the dickens! But me no buts! -it is all one to me, for you are quoting Shakespeare!'"

Walter noticed, Amazing! 'Cupid's' diction is perfect! He doesn't' sound like an American trying to sound ye olde English. He sounds exactly ye olde English!

Trevor continued, "And with the invasion of the New World by Christ-Bearer Columbus and his Trinity of ships English acquired treasures like like tomato and potato and concepts like Democracy, which came as much from Native Americans as my peoples." Trevor frowned, "What they gave your culture ought to have kept me out of the loony bin. I have a perfect right to believe I am my own higher power! But it didn't. However Democracy is something each generation has to fight for and I have to advocate for the so called mentally ill, be the Jackie Robinson of the so called, 'Delusionals,' struggling peacefully as Gandhi did for my right to walk amongst you so called Normals living wild and free. But anyway…

Here comes the Civil War. That is where you get words and phrases like 'A.W.O.L.

Bad Egg, Balderdash, Bluff , Been Through the Mill, Bellyache, Bivouac,

Blowhard, Bully for You, Chief Cook and Bottle Washer, Conniption Fit, Deadbeat, Duds, Forage, Fit as a fiddle, Fit to be tied, French Leave, Greenbacks, Grit as meaning tough, Goobers, Hanker, Hard Knocks, Haversack, High-falutin, Horse Sense, Humbug Hunkey Dorey, Jailbird, Jawing, John Barleycorn, Jonah Let 'er Rip, No Account, Peaked, Pig Sticker, Row as meaning a fight, Sawbones, Scarce as Hen's Teeth, Shanks Mare, Shoddy, Skedaddle Snug as a Bug, Sparking, Tight as meaning drunk, Toe the Mark, Tuckered Out, Uppity."

And then we come to Black influences. Mickey Ds is black slang. So is 'The Big Apple!' So is, 'Put down, busted, Fox as in a pretty girl like my Claire, Fuzz, phat, The Man, Soul Brother and diss." I know what is coming. Jive is going to evolve into something wonderful, Walter! I wish I had someone to teach it to me. I almost did one host ago but he didn't appreciate what he was. He demanded I speak only standard American around him and except in rare instances that is all he would speak."

And let us not forget phrases of World War I and II "dogfight, gives the willies, hayburners, puddle splashers, over the top, roughneck, synchronize watches.' There were many more I had to give word funerals. .

"World War II Ok and roger and wing and a prayer, Ace, hurry up and wait, don't take any wooden nickels, hurry up and wait, bogus, bogey, fuber, ground pounder, pencil pusher, flying a desk, butter bar, passing the buck."

And then the cold war, duck and cover, Red as referring to communists, paper tiger, coming in from the cold, nuke as a verb. That one is very scary! That you actually have coined a verb for doing the unthinkable! But you also use it to refer to cooking food in a microwave oven! Weapons of mass destruction, Yes that phrase goes back that far.

"Other words and phrases from the sixties.

That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind (and yes he did say the'A.' We gods heard him). NASA we have a Problem, Houston we have a go. Scrubbed, I'm not a crook, Let me make one thing perfectly clear, and the word 'gate' used to refer to any political scandal."

And God bless television and the big screen!

"It keeps going and going and going, it takes a licking but keeps on ticking!, Whassup?, "De plane! De plane! Live long and prosper, And that's the way it is, Come on down, Let's get ready to rumble! Good grief, Hey hey HEEY, Yada, yada, yada, Book 'em Danno, Dyn-o-mite Aaay (I use that one myself!) Yabba dabba do. Where's the beef?, "D'oh!, Beam me up Scotty!' "Shazbot." "Nanu Nanu, 'broadcast' as meaning spreading information not tossing seeds at the soil, talking heads, blue screens, green rooms, CGI, special effects, Industrial Light and Magic and Pay no attention to the man behind the curtain" as theological concepts, and "I'll get you my pretty and your little Dog too!" No.50 "Tastes great! Less filling! "You rang? Danger, Will Robinson, Is that your final answer?, Read my lips: No new taxes, "Two thumbs up, You look mahvelous!, Would you believe, Sock it to me, How sweet it is, Live long and prosper. And that's the way it is! Come on down! Space, the final frontier, Tastes great! Less filling, You rang! Danger, Danger Will Robinson! "Is that your final answer? You look mahvelous!" Good night, and good luck, Would you believe? Sock it to me, and you are entering the Twilight Zone which I am sure is what you feel you are doing now!"

Walter quickly and emphatically nodded!

And now 9/11. Trevor frowned, " water boarding, Gitmo, and the consequences of trying to keep sane and cheered up in a world suddenly gone dangerously insane; "talk like a Pirate day.' Avast me hearties! Because of that and the effect of Renaissance Festivals I've noticed "arrrrrrrg" is entering the language again. I'm glad. I always liked, 'arrrrrrrg!' Thanks to Talk Like A Pirate Day one day a year I get to dust off an old way of speaking and use it again! Pure fun!"

He continued, "Note the word "ribbon." It is in transition. It used to mean a piece of cloth worn for decoration or to control hair. It is starting to mean a magnetic bumper sticker shaped like one of those above-mentioned pieces of cloth. I see it coming. Flash forward a few decades if it even take that long and it will be just another word for a magnetic bumper sticker, or even just a bumper sticker."

Walter nodded. He was right about this! Trevor was obviously very aware of his surroundings and not out of touch with them at all. What lunacy he had consisted only of his own concept of himself and his strange collection of impossible memories!

The love god's cheerful history lesson continued, "And now the net! As is said you modern mortals google, tweet and chat and make yourself avatars and web pages. Avatar is a funny word change." Trevor pounded his chest like Tarzan, " I AM AN AVATAR!" Trevor laughed. "The original meaning was a god taking on Mortal form. But I guess if a Mortal goes into cyberspace which is the world you Mortals are creating than you are indeed gods in that world taking on cybernetic form. So the word Avatar does fit.

"The Big Guy created Mortals. You are creating us and other AIs. What will AI's create? The Big Guy again due to curved space/time? We not only live in a Matrix. The Matrix is within a Matrix and that Matrix is a small part of still a bigger Matrix. Where does it end? Where did it start? Even we gods do not know! Vulcan thinks he does but he's full of it!"

Walter interrupted, "Well this morning I was just a Linguist. Now I've had my mind expanded and stretched and it is all too much! Now I just want to go out for pizza!"

Trevor said, "Sounds good. I'll buy! Forget the commercial chains. I know this little Italian place that has pizza pies to die for. Trevor kissed his fingers, seeming very Italian for a few seconds "Let's go!"

Walter was reluctant.

Trevor smiled, "It's near here. We can walk. You don't have to be confined in a moving car with an obvious Lunatic. Oh yes! I can see that you've tensed up and now don't trust me. But hey, no worries! If I were dangerous Claire Bear would but have to hit a speed dial button to Dr. Greeley and it's off to Sach's again to medication la la land for me. The fact I am to running around wild and free speaks volumes about my harmlessness and also Claire's' ability to handle Dr. Greeley and his friends with their magic hypos."

Trevor started singing, "'when the Moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie that's Amore!' I love a dish named after myself! Claire calls my thinking that sort of thing, 'delusions of reference.' I call it 'having fun!' Let's go!

Walter was still reluctant.

Trevor smiled, "Walter, life is supposed to be an adventure and you only get one chance to run around the bases. Run it with style! Run it with gusto and flair! Run it with passion! You stand before the Big Guy someday what are you going to do when he asks you "Did you enjoy pizza pie with a confirmed Lunatic and/or Greek god?" And you have to tell Him, 'NO,' when you had your chance? How will that make you feel? Not good, ay govnur?" Never throw a gift back in His teeth! Oh for goodness sakes Matey your stomach's growling! Come or don't! You have ME hungry now for pizza because you mentioned it. I'm going!"

Trevor grabbed his jacket and left.

Walter made a quick decision, one of those short, quick, character-deciding decisions that would determine the rest of his responses to life and followed after Wonder and Magic!

Wow! The "god" could walk fast! He was in much better shape! Walter struggled to keep up. But "Cupid" noticed this and slowed down. Puffing a little bit Walter asked, "Trevor did you ever consider that Dr. McCrae may be right? That you may just be delusional?"

They came to a street corner and Trevor punched the pedestrian button and smiled, "One thing I have definitely learned Walter is, never second guess yourself. If you make a decision to do something, go at it at full gallop, with all your sails unfurled, at warp factor 10!" He grinned, "Which metaphor do you like best? By the way; why do they tell us to walk not run across these streets but the light doesn't stay in our favor long enough! So if we don't run, we end up only half way across and staring down the drivers?"

Walter started laughing at the cheerful Lunatic's colorful mixing of metaphors and insight. The fact he could make metaphors also did not escape his notice. Trevor was not schizophrenic! "I go with, 'warp factor 10!'''

Trevor swung his arms, "All righty then! Whoosh! The impossible sound we hear as starships travel through the sound-stopping vacuum of space! If sometime in my past I chose to boldly go where I had never gone before; into the seductive, dangerous, wonderful arms of cheerful-madness, I would have to have made a rational decision to do so! For crazy or not I never do anything without thinking out all the consequences first. That doesn't mean I don't make mistakes. I never anticipated being locked up for 90 days in a mental hospital and having the wonderful brier patch of having to talk with Claire for what is probably the rest of my earthly life, for what should have gotten me mere community service. But at least I do try to think things out first. But once I make a decision I don't second-guess. Never do that Walter. The few mistakes I've made "cupiding" as my Boss, Felix calls my matching folks was always when I tried to take Claire's advice and second-guessed myself.

"As both a god and a science fiction fan I know full well the consequences of traveling to worlds that are forbidden to us and awakening the monsters of id. If I hid stuff from myself it should wisely stay hidden! Only Claire and other moderns like her fail to comprehend the futility and foolishness of poking a sleeping dragon with a psychoanalytic stick! The Ancients knew you honor King Kong but keep him safe behind his wall! You don't bring him out to study and exploit! Only modern Mortals do something like that!"

Trevor continued, "Walter, if at one point I deliberately chose to go mad, I would have done so for very sound reasons and I had better NOT try to undo what I so carefully did!"

Walter nodded ruefully, "You do have a point!"

Trevor grinned but it was a sad little grin, "Maybe going crazy is the only thing that kept me sane! Because what I am hiding from has to be worse than what I do remember! And my friend that is very hard to believe!

Trevor continued, "I ask you Walter, what could I possibly be hiding from that is worse than what I supposedly confabulated?

Trevor leaned back and looked at the ceiling, "I remember bits and flashes of being omnipresent but even at my prime it was helpless omnipresence due to no social status and the horrid curse of us little g gods. We see but we are so limited in what we can do to change things! Even the Big G God is limited because of that horrible-wonderful free will clause written into the constitution and fabric of this Multiverse. It's a good thing too really though it does not seem such at times! Or we gods would be forever hauling Mortals off to our equivalent of Sach's for rehabilitation! But no! We don't confine and forcibly medicate you." Trevor taped his chest, "You just did that to me and I'm not even considered insane or incompetent!"

Trevor added softly, "Even Claire will tell you that. I'm 'sane' and 'competent' but 'delusional.' Go figure. I do need Claire! I remember way too much too vividly to handle things without a Claire Bear, Walter. I remember not just the sights and the visions but the smells and the pain and the heart-break!

Trevor shook his head in wonder, "I would have had to confabulate Olympus while still knowing I was not from there, making it up out of whole cloth with a little help from the precious-little you Mortals recorded about us. What I remember goes soooo much further than those publicity blurbs! I remember not just what my family looks like but what they feel like and what they smell like! I remember their faces and their individual ways of moving. I remember family jokes, family spats, our pets, our houseplants and our gardens. I remember what my mother's roses smelled like and it isn't like Earth roses due to different breeding. I remember every stone in every building in Olympia from the palaces to the storage sheds. I was a kid for a very long time and like all kids I got away with sneaking into places adults wouldn't dare!

"I remember the golf cart my Mom and Pops and myself used to ride in. When the battery ran low we'd argue over whose turn it was to go zap the battery with one of our lightning bolts to recharge it. Fred Flintstone had nothing on us. We gods also power our family "cars," with our own energy!"

"Walter I remember a thousand adventures! I could write a book to rival Mark Twain's Huckleberry Finn! I sailed homemade rafts on the river Styx. I converted with Unicorns and Nymphs and Postal Workers, that last one being my Uncle Merc. He is actually registered with the Thessaly post office for that rare piece of mail Modern Mortals are crazy enough to write the ancient Greek gods. Every month or two or so he has to go and check and there is often at least one letter. In Thessaly they KNOW about us, know we are real but lie by telling the truth, just as I do. They never deny to the Tourists we are still up on that Mountain. But who believes a colorful local who is just trying to spin a yarn?" Trevor laughed, "No one, of course!"

"Then at some point I must have made my decision, said good by to my Old Me and my Old Life, wrapped up my affairs carefully to leave as little a paper trail as possible, left whatever area of the globe I was familiar with and deliberately self-hypnotized myself! And when I woke up from that trance I had to know to keep moving away from where I had originally been so no one would ever connect me to me. Walter why would I do that? Why would anyone do such a thing? And yet, I admit, there are a handful of folks like that across the street from Tres Equis, all of them my poker buddies. I still cross the street and visit and play with them once or twice a month. I may or may not be crazy but one thing is sure, with them for some reason I do feel at home!"

Trevor stared at the floor, "Maybe it is just they share with me the pain of no one every believing us!"

As Walter stared at him the "god" continued, "But it isn't all fun and games that I remember, Walter. As I said what could be possibly worse than what I do remember? I remember the plagues of Egypt! They were horrible, but they had to happen or Mortals would never have grasped the concept of religious freedom, a concept you still do not grasp fully or I never would have spent a day in Sach's! And I remember the famines of Lamentations when locusts caused hundreds of thousands of you cute little Mortals to starve! Trevor frowned, "That is why this Mental Patient is not Norman Bates! I will harm a fly! If any six legged beasties get near any Human food supply I stomp or do whatever I can and must to protect it! I saw what happens when we don't! Under certain limited circumstances pesticides can be our friends!

Trevor frowned, "That's a grand future and the older gods remember it, because they've been around the whole cosmic merry-go-round. I only know of it from studying history. I'm only about 3000 years old, Walter. I'm just a whippersnapper. Why didn't I confabulate myself an older, wiser, more respected god? Please, Claire, cure me if it will relieve me of these "false' memories!"

Trevor stared at Walter with tears running down his face. "And yes I saw Hiroshima! That destroyed what little relationship I had left with my Pops, the god of war, and I started acting crazy to cope. I started shooting mismatched people willy-nilly with my love arrows just to watch them fall in love and struggle with their incompatibility, just because I could! That irresponsible behavior lead to your current high divorce rate and my being exiled here to relearn my craft.

"So I ask again, what so called "real" memories could possibly be worse than what I supposedly confabulated? I'm alienated from my father because I failed as a warrior and don't even know if he really is my father. Uncle Merc could be! My mother was unfaithful dozens of times! That really bothers me! Then I get a discipline tribunal and kicked out and I deserved it too! Wouldn't thinking I was merely a Mortal in the first place be easier to handle emotionally than that? What could possibly be worse than being rejected by one's entire species?

"I ask you, if I was going to confabulate a false past for myself why didn't I confabulate I was Captain Kirk? I love Captain Kirk!

"But instead my family has me having to match Mortals up without any magic, no bow, no arrows, just chutzpa and tenaciousness! What a weird situation for a god to be in! At first I hated it but and I'm starting to really enjoy it!"

The tears suddenly stopped as Trevor considered his happier current situation. Suddenly he smiled. It was like the Sun coming out from behind a cloud. "There is more of a challenge to it. It is like a puzzle with Mortals as the unpredictable pieces of the puzzle, and I love figuring out puzzles!"

Walter just stared.

Trevor continued, "Trying to do just that, matching up couples lead to my commitment and my being compelled to talk with Claire. I don't consider that last part a bad thing at all.' Trevor grinned, "I love my battles of wits and philosophy with Claire!"

Walter had the look in his eyes of a man overwhelmed.

Trevor smiled at him gently, "I guess I've overdone it again. I always do when I get someone I can really talk to about me being me. I need TEN Therapists! I promise I'll spend the rest of our meal acting calmly, cheerfully and reassuringly crazy so you don't have to have nightmares tonight about 'could he possibly be a real god?'

His eyes glinted with mischief. "How would you like to hear the Odyssey recited in Pig Latin? Or I can do every episode of Classic Trek that way too, if you'd prefer!"

Part II

Trevor Pierce: Going Where

No Delusional Has Gone Before!

Claire came up to her patient's apartment that night with the papers she needed Trevor to sign.

Felix stated "I guess I'll leave so you two can have your privacy."

Trevor shook his head, "Boss please stay. I may want your input and its not like you don't know already what Claire and I spend hours talking about!"

Felix rolled his eyes, "I do have a good idea!"

Trevor smiled at Claire,' "I'm sorry about not being here today, Claire Bear. I had to be a football player instead of a Mental Patient."

Claire sighed. "Is there a difference? That's OK Trevor. It's not like my time is valuable or anything. Besides," she smirked. "I learned something about you! It may lead to me getting a clue as to your real identity."

Trevor looked quite worried at that but he tried to hide it, not that his Psychiatrist was fooled one bit! "What Claire? Now you think I may be a lost quarterback for the New York Giants? Really Claire, I'm only a god! That is ALL I am!"

Claire just smirked.

Trevor was horrified, "That smirk is scaring, me Claire Bear!"

Claire smiled like the Mona Liza. "Why Trevor! If you are really from Mount Olympus it's not like you'd have a paper trail leading somewhere else in the Mortal realm, now would you?"

Trevor shuttered, "It's not that, but I don't want you getting some weird idea and bugging some poor Mortals with delusions of meeting their long lost family member. That could be heart breaking to get someone's hopes up and then it turns out I am not their long lost relative after all. I don't want the embarrassment or the shame!' Trevor frowned, "I hate it when I see looks of pity in Mortal eyes! I don't need pity! Even if you are right and I am just delusional I am far from suffering! I am having the time of my life being Cupid! In fact if I woke up one morning after a bunch of nightmares and came to the conclusion you were correct I would never admit it. I'd just go on the merry way I am now, being Cupid. I'm enjoying my new life too much. Being thought crazy is fun!"

Claire said with both sympathy and professional curiosity. "You have nightmares, Trevor? Please start keeping a dream journal like I asked. Or, are you scared I'll find out your old life pops into your dreams much too often and that would give you away?"

Trevor sighed," No Claire Bear. It would just be embarrassing because many of my dreams are VERY sexual. I AM the god of love after all!"

Claire shook her head, "Trevor I am a trained Therapist. There is nothing I haven't heard."

Trevor laughed, "Oh ho ho HO! That is what you think! Never mind hearing! I'm the god of love and there is nothing I haven't SEEN. And sometimes that stuff gets in to my dreams. Mind you I wouldn't do half that stuff. I like sex plain vanilla actually, which is sort of weird considering what I am." Trevor shrugged, "But I've seen EVERYTHING and so I can't help thinking about stuff sometimes. The birds fly over my head but I don't have to let them roost in my hair!"

Claire was amazed, "I heard a fundamentalist Minister say that exact same phrase."

Trevor shrugged again, "Most of them are decent, reasonably intelligent Mortals who just want to help folks in their own way. They do a lot more good than harm. It is just a few greedy Televangelists are getting the whole lot of them a bad rap. Not even all of the Televangelists are insincere and they do good sometimes too. Look at this way. They are entertainers and deserve to be paid as such just as much as being voted off the island is, or 'Who Wants To Be Millionaire?'"

Claire smiled approvingly, "Defending the opposing side Cupid? I'm proud of you for being so tolerant."

Trevor shrugged, "We Olympians are NOT jealous gods. We feel there are enough Mortals to go around and there would be too many if my father didn't do his thing. Trevor stared at Claire and frowned, "There are Six billion of you, Claire. Our poor Planet is busting at the seams!"

Claire frowned. "Now that last part of your statements wasn't crazy, just the part about your father being the god of war."

"Then "Half 'thank you' Claire Bear and half 'growl,' Dr Claire McCrae!"

Then Trevor cocked his head and asked, his eyes twinkling, "Any way what papers has my beautiful Shrink obtained for me to sign today? Am I recommitting myself across the street?"

Claire gave him a toothy grin, "Almost!"

"Almost!" Trevor laughed but it was a nervous laugh. "'Almost?' Should I be worried here?"

Claire gave Trevor a reassuring smile, "No, not really. If any thing this is putting you a tiny bit further away from being an inpatient. After all if they are acknowledging you are competent enough to sigh a document determining your own treatment that might hold up in court if it ever came to that, which we hope it won't. Also now the funds are here to treat you as an outpatient officially."

Trevor stared at Claire, "So what is gong on?"

Claire smiled, "As you know when you were released you were only released because I agreed to take responsibility for you. I took a real risk Trevor, and I still am! Yes you are managing your own affairs very nicely and have extreme social competence but even though you will deny it you are still very sick. When Dr. Greeley heard you just faked getting better and still think you are Cupid he was very determined to send Hector and Isaac across the street to drag you back again! I again had to put my reputation on the line! I just barely talked him out of it and your freedom is hanging by a thread. One slip upon your part, one violent act, even a playful threat interpreted the wrong way and you go back to Sachs, and I could lose my license. It's that critical Trevor!"

Trevor sighed, "Claire I know I have to be the Jacky Robinson of Mental Patients. When Mortals make fun of me for being crazy I just smile and agree with them. After all that was my family's opinion of me too! And I also remind them how much it costs tax payers to keep a harmless soul like me locked up every day and thank them for their attempts to drive me nuts enough to end up back across the street again. That usually shuts them up. If that doesn't work I take evasive action, or if I'm at work Felix comes to my defense." Trevor looked up at his Boss and grinned," thanks Boss!"

Felix was busy dong the dishes, "Any time Barkeep!"

Trevor continued, "So Claire I am aware a lot is riding on me besides my own freedom. Even the rights of other Mental Patients to live free are riding on how well I succeed. I do know I'm being watched closely, and that isn't psychotic paranoia and you know that! But why are you reminding me of this now?

Claire said, "You are right you are being watched and you are about the rights of those other Mental Patients too. In fact you've started something. Because of the accidental psychology experiment you started by us accidentally releasing you, a still severely delusional patient and your being so successful despite your continuing illness, there is a small movement to release more like you. But the infrastructure for paying the mental health Workers for their time to treat outpatients had to be put into position first. I can afford to give you therapy a couple of times a week pro bono and still have time for paying Patients. But if I were also going to treat the rest of your poker group, Superman, the Tooth Fairy and the Invisible Man and others pro bono it would soon start negatively effecting my income. So a few of us have been working on a grant to get the government to supply funds for those Patients who do not respond to medication but who do respond to therapy, as you sort of do. Up until now only medication was covered under the outpatient commitment law and for that reason a lot of Non-Schizophrenic Delusionals had to stay locked up because that was the only place we could afford to treat them. The grant just came through, Trevor! Congratulations! A few more weeks and you may be able to play poker with the Tooth Fairy or at least some of your group on THIS side of the street!"

"Claire that is wonderful!"

The fallen love god was all smiles. "But I'd think long and hard before I'd release the Tooth Fairy. I mean I love the guy! He's fun! But think about it. My gig is helping consenting adults fall in love. His gig is breaking into people's houses, going to Kids rooms and looking for teeth! If I were a Parent and I found him there, I'd freak!"

Claire frowned and nodded, "I know Trevor. It's sad. That did happen and that's what got him committed."

"Superman has more of a chance."

Claire shook her head, "He thinks he can fly! He could end up killing himself!"

"Easy to cope with Claire. He is also a being of integrity. Make him promise he is released conditional upon him promising never to take off from anywhere but ground level. He'll keep his word. Because of that promise he won't try to go out windows or off ledges. A few futile attempts to take off from ground level and reality might even dawn on him."

Claire shook her head, "Then suddenly it will be 'kryptonite everywhere.' You Delusionals always find a reason why suddenly your powers don't work. You did."

Trevor cocked his head, "Is that what you meant when I said I had been sent back without my powers and you stated, 'that's convenient.' I wondered about that. I don't find not having my powers convenient at all. It's a bloomin nuisance having to get up to go fetch my snacks during commercials! I used to be able to float them to me."

"Yes. You Delusionals always come up with a reason to not be able to demonstrate your magic to us Therapists."

Trevor sighed, "Except I am NOT really a Delusional. But at least from your point of view you do not have to worry about me trying to fly, other than trying to save up for an airline ticket to Disney World."

Claire nodded, "True. You picked the perfect delusion for interfacing with reality while still staying sick. Other than you I think our best chance for another release is the Invisible Man. His delusion is harmless. If anything it makes him more cautious while trying to cross streets. He has a cousin who is willing to take him and he's pretty good at filling out surveys on the net and selling stuff on eBay and classified ads so there is a chance for him making an income, and like you he hates confinement. We also have a couple of Aliens I think could make it to but they like being institutionalized way too much. Trevor I've seen extremely sick Patients adapt to living wild and free because they have that trapped tiger look in their eyes about being confined to a mental hospital just as you did, and I've seen Patients with only mild neurosis's I haven't any hope for at all. They figure out we'll feed and shelter them for life and that seems a very good deal to them."

Trevor gave Claire a canary cat grin, "Ha so my little ruse to get loose did good!"

"Yes you did Trevor Pierce!" Claire did her best to strike while the iron was hot. "But because you are already released from Sach's it would take either another court order or your signing yourself into the program voluntarily for you, yourself to quality. So now Trevor if you will be cooperative enough to sign these papers I can get paid for the therapy I have been giving you for free. Please Trevor! I have my fingers crossed because money is important and you know it! That's another reason the Tooth Fairy might not ever get out but you did. You use real money. He tries to pay for things with fake teeth!"

Trevor grinned, "Not much longer, Claire. I've already won half his stash. My hopes are I'll get all of it and he'll have to start using real money."

Claire was amazed! "Why Trevor what a nice thing to do!"

The fallen god of love smiled, "You notice I use in-Jehovah-we-trust money not drachmas to settle my debts, public and private in this part of the globe. I do have a couple of drachmas. I bought them at the coin shop down the street. I have no so-called delusions attached to them, just homesickness and curiosity to see what the last ever drachmas looked like. There may be no more!" Trevor looked distressed. "My homeland joined the common market and they are using Euros now. Sigh. Progress. I love it and I hate it! Drachmas were almost as old as I am, They've been around for about 2650 years and now they are no more!"

Claire nodded, "That is an other reason you are here and not over there with your poker buddies, you use real money! And Trevor I'm sorry about 'no more drachmas.' I know you really think you are 3000 years old and seeing something that has been around since what must have been your childhood, die like that, must really hurt. Your FEELINGS are real!"

Trevor gave her a grim smile and nodded. "Thanks Claire Bear. Your sympathy for my feelings is real too, even if you think I'm nutsy coo coo!"

Claire was certain at some level her Patient knew he was delusional and it was smiles like that, that clued her to this.

Claire continued trying to shove official outpatient commitment past him before he could think up reasons to object, "So, Trevor if you will just be a dear and sigh this form acknowledging that you are required to receive therapy from me I'll get sent a check each month."

Trevor sighed, "Up to now it's been voluntary. I requested counseling in the first place! You were only going to see me at that singles group once a week."

Claire nodded, "I know Trevor but it's been good for you."

Trevor corrected, "It's been good for us."

Claire nodded, "Sigh. Yes Trevor I suppose this is true. You've become a dear friend not just a Patient and you've given me as much emotional support as I've given you. But please sign!

He grinned, "Are you going to split the moola with me?"

"Trevor do you think that is appropriate?"

Trevor shrugged, "Hey! I started the ball rolling! At least hold some of our counseling sessions at restaurants instead of in your office."

"I may allow that. Please sign, Trevor!"

Claire had his fingers crossed.

Trevor looked the papers over and then handed them to Felix. "Felix you are the only business-man present. You are a whole lot saner and more practical than either a Mental Patient OR a Psychiatrist, I don't see any reason not to sign this. Do you?"

Felix looked at the papers carefully. Then he said, "I'd write in a statement

'Psychotherapy only' and initial it and have Claire initial it."

Trevor was amazed, "Can I do that?"

Felix nodded, "Yes if both of you initial it and have the change stamped by a Notary."

Trevor asked, "We have to find a Notary?"

Felix said. "You've found one. I'm a Notary."

Trevor grinned, "Ok then! And Boss I want you to notice something very amusing."

"What Trevor?" Felix asked.

"Our so called scientifically minded Doctor is crossing her fingers which evokes the sign of the cross to get a Greco-Roman god to sign commitment papers!" Trevor started belly laughing. It's not that I mind her praying to Jesus. I really don't mind the competition. We Olympians know when we've been bested and we're OK with that! But it's just, lets put it this way, let's say we go to dinner. Claire wants me to pass the salt. She looks at you instead and asked, 'Felix please tell Trevor to pass the salt!' It would make more sense to petition this god not Christ under this particular, extremely limited circumstances. Because while I can no longer work miracles I can certainly still handle a pen!"

Felix saw what he was getting at. He didn't laugh but he nodded and said gently, "from your point of view I can see why that is funny."

Trevor looked at the ceiling, "Jesus tell Clare to hand me a pen."

Quickly Claire did so.

Trevor added the 'psychotherapy only' clause and initialed it, and handed it back to Claire who initialed it too.

Felix said, "I need to see your licenses." He got up to get the necessary stamp.

Claire reached in her purse and pulled hers out. Trevor went to his room and got his.

Felix recorded their licensee numbers and stamped the comment.

Then Trevor signed his papers.

Claire sighed in relief and signed them as the preceding psychiatrist.

And Felix witnessed it.

Trevor smiled," Funny! I don't feel much different even though now I'm an official nut case committed to long term care again."

Felix laughed, "welcome to the outpatient loony bin, Trevor Pierce!"

Claire sighed in relief. "Well! That was amazingly easy! I was expecting resistance."

But Trevor wasn't letting it be THAT easy! "I am claiming my first dinner now!"

Claire exclaimed, "I haven't even been paid for you yet!"

Trevor pleaded, "You will! Please, purty please! I feel like baklava tonight and this Boss of mine keeps docking my check!"

Claire stared at Felix.

Felix explained, "I don't have to pay for cupiding, Trevor. You actually finish a few shifts and I'm pay you for them."

Claire nodded, "He's right Trevor. I suggest that be the point to our first combined therapy/dinner session; employee responsibility." She grabbed up her purse and headed for the door.

Trevor grabbed his jacket and waved 'bye bye," at Felix grinning wider than the Sun. "Oh boy! Oh boy! Oh boy! Baklava and shrinking tonight! Oh yeah, baby!"

***

Part III

Cupid Discus's Walter's evaluation with Claire.

Cupid showed up in Claire's office for his next session a bit disappointed they couldn't all be meals at expensive restaurants. But the whole idea was for Claire to make some kind of profit off of me.He smiled. Oh the uses Mortals put their gods to! Now I'm being used as a way for a Shrink to get more money by shrinking me!

He smiled at his pretty Therapist. "So I am all ears! What did Walter decide was my (making quote marks with his fingers), 'real past?'"

Claire sighed. She was very disappointed. "Walter says you had to have grown up all over the world, that you were an Army Brat or a Missionary's son or something like that."

Cupid put his head down and stared at the carpet. He thought about that for a while. Then he said firmly, "You are darn tootin I'm an Army Brat!"

Claire showed her surprise, Was Trevor about to tell her the truth?!

Cupid looked up at Claire and said firmly, "'Army Brat' is close enough to the truth that you could actually jot that down in my files and work with me as if I was such. It would actually do me some good! Because you can certainly say I'm an Army Brat, Claire and in the worst possible situation! I am an Army Brat with a militaristic father and it turned out through no fault of my own I'm hardwired for pacifism due to taking too much after my Mother! My Father was the god of war, remember?"

Claire felt the hope she had felt take flight. But still, was this the truth disguised?

Cupid continued, "And does googling the whole world continuously count as living all over the world? Remember I had very few other god-kids to play with." Cupid's face showed the loneliness he felt. "I amused myself by watching Mortal kids all over the Mortal realm play. I played vicariously with them!

Claire thought to herself, Bingo!"

She scrawled in her notes, Check military records for missing sons of prominent Generals and Sergeants.

Cupid guessed what she was writing. He smiled. His eyes twinkled.

He had just sent his beloved Shrink off on another wild good chase! But it was fun!

She would never figure out the truth and it was staring her right in the face!