A/N: Hello there! Long time no…update? Sorry, my computer wasn't working and I didn't have any ideas, but now I do! I wanted a place where I could post totally random tidbits and I thought I know! This is perfect! So, really random thoughts I have to get out of my head! (BTW I have a new story coming up, called The extremely late show that doesn't exist. Sorry about the long title. Go check it out!)

"What does Colonel Bastard want now? Ed muttered grumpily.

"Brother!" Al scolded, as the two walked into the military building.

"What! Every time I come here he mocks me and sends me somewhere unimportant for no reason other to boss me around! He's a jerk, a womanizer, and above all else a BASTARD!" Ed ranted, for what seemed the 100th time. As the two brothers approached said Bastard's office, a shower of sparkles rained down upon them and their eyes widened in fear.

"Welcome Elric Brothers! My fabulous muscles and I are glad to see you!" Armstrong declared. He then ripped off his shirt and started flexing, displaying his 'fabulous' muscles. "Why welcoming people has been passed down the Armstrong family for generations! In fact…" he rambled on; ignoring Ed's pounding of the Colonel's office, to escape the sparkling, emotional man in front of him.

"What are you doing!? Fullmetal! You were supposed to be here an hour ago!" Roy exclaimed, as the door was flung open and Ed fell flat on his feet.

"We missed the train and had to get on the next! Then this nutcase," he pointed towards the still talking, glittering, and posing Armstrong, "Came along." He replied defensively. Roy sighed and muttered,

"My time is even shorter than you are Fullmetal, let's hurry up."

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING SO SHORT A FLEA COULD PICK HIM UP AND POCKET HIM!!!!!" Ed shouted, lunging towards the smiling Colonel. Easily sidestepping him, Roy grabbed his collar and proceeded to drag him into his office, ignoring Al's apologies and Ed's protesting.

"Well now that you've shown how umm…short your temper is, we can get this over with. Your report?" Roy smirked.

"Jackass!" Ed griped.

"Perhaps you've forgotten that I am your boss, and I can have you court-martialed for that." Roy said.

"Whatever." Ed grumbled. He then started reporting his search of some unnamed, boring town that very few people lived in and he had no reason to go too.

Meanwhile, Al was sneaking a cat into his armor when the door slammed open and Ed stomped out.

"We're going Al. Now!" He snapped and he hurriedly followed after him. Roy walked out of his office smirking for the 100th time and Riza sighed.

"Sir, do you always have to torment him?" she asked.

"Hey I'm just having fun!" he said.

"Didn't get enough fun last night with what's her face?" Havoc grinned.

"Shut up!"

Hope you like this randomness. I'll try to update soon! Promise! As long as I get reviews! They make sparkles appear, suspiciously like Armstrong's!