"Why don't we have sex anymore?" the blonde asked, sitting down on the bed.
Her shirt was half-buttoned, and when she looked up at her wife, she saw the same thing. As soon as the mayor heard the question, her hands dropped to her sides.
"What do you mean?" she asked dumbly.
"What do I mean? Exactly what I said. Why don't we have sex anymore?"
"I…"
With a sigh, Emma lowered her head and said, "Regina…"
"Do… Do you want to?"
"Of course I want to. We haven't fucked since Christmas."
"That's not true! We…"
"Christmas, Regina. It's March."
"It… It hasn't been that long. We…"
"Yes, it has."
"I… I'm sorry…"
Rubbing her temples, the blonde lowered her head and mumbled, "It's fine. I get it."
"Look… Why don't we-"
As Regina put her hand on the woman's shoulder, Emma pulled away.
"Don't. It's fine. Just forget it."
Sighing, Regina finished unbuttoning her blouse and bra, then pulled off her pants and slipped under the covers on the opposite side of the bed. They fell asleep silently, facing away from each other.
"What's the matter?" the waitress asked, looking at her friend with concern in her eyes. "What happened, Regina?"
"N-Nothing," the woman lied, sitting down in the booth.
"Regina, come on. You look like you've been hit by a train."
"Gee, thanks, Ruby. That makes me feel great."
"Oh, shit… I'm sorry, hun… I didn't mean it like that. You just look… depressed."
"I'm fine, thanks."
With a sigh, Ruby sat down in the booth across from her friend and reached out to touch the woman's hand.
"You don't have to lie to me, but you don't have to talk about it either. If you don't want to talk, just say so. Don't lie."
"Fine. I don't want to talk about it."
"Alright… Well, if you change your mind, I'm here, okay?"
"Yeah," Regina said flatly. "Thanks."
"Do you want to come over?" the text message read.
Regina couldn't help but smile slightly when she saw it.
"Be right there," she texted back quickly, then left her study to find her wife in the living room. "I'm leaving," she told the woman. "Ruby wants to hang out."
"What? Now? It's nine o'clock."
"Why not? Henry's tucked in. I'm done with paperwork. What do you care?"
"What do I care? I don't know. Maybe I wanted to spend time with you. But I guess you'd probably just stay locked in your study anyway."
"Emma…"
"Just go."
"Alright," Regina sighed. "Fine. I'll see you later. Don't wait up."
"Hello, love," Ruby greeted her friend, opening her arms.
Regina hesitated, but gave into the silent request, wrapping her arms around the woman until she felt herself being squeezed tightly.
"I didn't think you'd come over."
"Well," the dark-eyed brunette started, "here I am."
"I'm glad you came."
When Regina started to pull away, Ruby left her hand on her shoulder.
Feeling the awkwardness of the moment, Regina asked, "What?" when the woman looked deeply into her eyes.
"I'm worried about you."
"Ruby, I'm fine."
With a sigh, Ruby led the way into the living room and sat down on the couch, flipping on the television and searching the channels for something the mayor would find acceptable.
"There's nothing good on," she whined. "Did you see anything you wanted to watch?"
"No… Not really."
"I have some movies, but probably nothing you'll like."
"I don't really watch movies or television, so whatever you feel like watching is fine."
"I'm not picking by myself. Help me."
"Ruby, it really doesn't matter."
"You're really out of it tonight."
"What do you mean?"
"You're acting weird."
"How?"
"You're being really quiet and un-opinionated."
"What the hell, Ruby! I'm fine!"
"Come on, babe. Please, talk to me. Tell me what's going on. I'm worried about you."
Sighing heavily, Regina finally confessed, "Emma and I haven't had sex since Christmas."
Ruby's stomach dropped and her muscles tensed uncomfortably, but she responded as casually as possible.
"Oh, shit, man. That's rough. Have you, like… tried asking her?"
"I'm, uh… not the one who brought it up."
"You mean she did?"
"Yeah. She was upset."
"Well, did you… um… you know… after that?"
"No."
"Well, why not? I mean, if she-"
"I tried, but I didn't really want to, and she pushed me away anyway. She was too pissed to fuck me."
"You didn't want to have sex with your wife?"
"No… Not really."
"Regina… Why?"
"I don't know. Ruby… When we first got married… it was all the time… Almost every night. Then, it was every week. Then every two weeks. Then every month. Now, it's been three, and I don't… I don't miss it."
"Well… A lot of marriages are like that. The fire kind of dies down. And… And that's okay…"
"It's not dying down. It's dead, Ruby."
Eyes wide, Ruby stared at the mayor, completely speechless.
"What?" Regina snapped. "Look, I know that's horrible, but I-"
"What changed?"
The older brunette paused and looked into her friend's green eyes. When she said nothing, the woman's hand came to rest on her thigh.
"It's okay, babe," Ruby told her. "You can tell me."
"No, I can't."
"Alright. But I'm here if you change your mind."
"Okay."
Silence fell over them, and they proceeded to pretend to watch the show on the television, and to Regina's surprise, Ruby's hand didn't move.
Around two in the morning, Regina sighed, "I should get back."
"Alright. Have a good night, okay? Try to get some rest."
"Yeah. I'll try."
"Ruby," Regina sobbed into the phone, around four o'clock that morning.
"Regina? What is it? What happened?"
"I couldn't do it. I can't. I just can't."
"Can't do what? What's going on?"
"I can't sleep next to her. I feel horrible."
"Where are you?"
"I'm outside the house in the car."
"Leave a note and come back over."
"But, I… I don't want to impose…"
"Come over. It's okay."
"If you're sure…"
"I'm sure. Come over."
"Hey, beautiful," Ruby greeted her.
"I'm not-"
"You okay?"
"I'm… No. I don't know what's wrong with me. Why don't I want to sleep with my wife? I feel terrible."
"Come here, babe," the green-eyed beauty said, pulling the woman into her arms. "Let's go upstairs. I've got a spare room."
"Ruby, I-"
"Shh. Come on."
With that, Ruby took her hand and pulled her up the stairs and ushered her into the spare bedroom. Once Regina was sitting on the bed, her eyes welling with tears, Ruby sat beside her.
"Something's wrong with me."
"Nothing's wrong with you. You're just going through a rough patch. That's okay. Every couple goes through this stuff sometimes."
"This doesn't feel normal, Ruby. This feels wrong."
"It's okay. You'll figure it out," the woman told her, carefully tucking a piece of hair behind Regina's ear.
To her own surprise, the older brunette shivered at the touch. When Ruby noticed, they both blushed.
"Get some rest. I'll wake you in the morning."
"Ruby, wait."
Eyebrow raised, Ruby sat back down and looked into the woman's eyes again.
"What is it, love?"
"I don't want to be alone right now."
"I'll sit with you until you fall asleep."
"You don't have to do that…"
"I want to. Relax and lay down. I'll be right here."
With a reluctant nod, Regina laid herself back with her head on the pillow and let out an involuntary yawn.
"Goodnight, Regina," Ruby whispered, leaning in and kissing the woman's forehead. "Sweet dreams."
Too exhausted to reply or react to the tender touch, the dark-eyed woman fell asleep almost instantly.
"Good morning, beautiful," Ruby woke the woman with a smile. "Time to wake up. I'm sure you have important meetings to get to at work, and you probably want to head home and get ready."
Stirring slowly, Regina groaned and rubbed her eyes.
"I don't want to face people today. Way too stressed."
"It'll be okay, love. I promise."
Once the woman had managed to crawl out of bed and splash her face with water in the bathroom, Ruby locked her in another embrace.
"I'll be home from work around seven if you want to come back over and chill."
"I should spend time with Henry, but I appreciate the offer."
"Okay. Let me know if you change your mind. My door is always open to you."
"Thank you. I'll text you, okay?"
"Alright. Love you, hun."
"You too, Ruby. I really appreciate everything you've done for me."
"Don't mention it. Now, get outta here before you're late for work."
Forcing a smile, the younger brunette kissed her cheek and gently pushed her out the door.
"What the fuck, Regina?" Emma shouted, slamming her coffee mug down on the counter.
"What?"
"You think it's okay to just up and leave and spend the night at someone else's house?"
"I'm not your dog, Emma! I'm a grown-ass adult and I can do what I want!"
"Great. That's fucking great. Why don't you just fucking-"
"Moms?" their son asked, looking at the two women with concern in his eyes. "What's going on?"
"Nothing, Henry," the blonde sighed. "Everything's fine."
Yeah. Perfectly fine, Regina was thinking, but instead of speaking her thoughts, she hugged her son and kissed the top of his head.
"I miss you," Ruby texted Regina that night.
When she saw the message, the older woman's eyes widened.
"I miss you too…" she texted back. "I'll be over in twenty. I can't stay here. She's so pissed at me."
"Hurry up. I'm making popcorn."
Ruby greeted her with a bowl of the treat and a bright smile.
"Hey, Gina."
"Hey, Rubes. What's up?"
"Long day at work. No biggie. Let's make a pillow fort and watch TV."
"A pillow fort?" Regina laughed, shaking her head. "That's silly."
"C'mon. Let's go."
With a sigh and a smile, the dark-eyed brunette followed her friend into the living room, where Ruby wasted no time throwing a sheet over various pieces of furniture and creating the suggested childish refuge.
"This is ridiculous," the mayor commented, as the younger woman crawled through the small opening and sat down inside.
"Just get in here, yeah? It's not gonna kill you."
Reluctantly, Regina got down on her hands and knees and crawled under the suspended sheet and sat next to her friend, saying, "So, what are we watching?"
"I don't know. I thought I felt like watching TV, but now I just sort of feel like zoning out and relaxing, you know? Today was rough."
"Yeah. Tell me about it."
"What happened on your end, love? You okay?"
"Emma's just super pissed. She thinks it was messed up that I came over here to spend the night."
"Yeah, well… I don't really know what to say about that, but… you're an adult. You can make your own choices."
"That's what I said!" Regina cried, throwing her hands in the air. "She just got even more pissed!"
"I'm sure she's just as frustrated with the situation as you are, honey."
"But that's the thing, Ruby. I'm not really frustrated with anything. I'm indifferent. I just feel like… like… like it doesn't matter. Like nothing's going to change. I mean, I feel like something is wrong with me because I feel this way. But I'm numb to it."
"Gina… Are you… Are you sure you want this marriage?"
"Honestly, Ruby… No. I'm not. But I can't leave her, you know? Henry would be devastated!"
"You have to think about what's right for you too. Henry would understand when he gets older if you two did decide to separate. You, though… You don't want to stay in a miserable marriage, if that's really what this is."
"We're not… We're not miserable. It's just… The connection's not there anymore, you know?"
"Yeah. I get that."
Regina sighed and leaned back against the front of the couch as she looked around the fort before speaking again.
After a while, she said, "Can I tell you something crazy?"
"Yes, of course. You can tell me anything, Regina. We're best friends."
Ruby cringed at the words and avoided the mayor's gaze. Something about it sounded wrong. Maybe it was true, but…
"I miss sex."
"I thought you said you didn't want-"
"I don't miss it with her. I just miss sex. I miss that intense connection."
"Well… Why don't you… You know…"
"What?"
"You know."
"No, Ruby. I don't know. Spit it out."
"Masturbate, Regina. Why don't you masturbate?"
"Who says I don't?" Regina asked with a playful grin.
Shoving the woman's shoulder, Ruby laughed and said, "Fair enough. I apologize. I shouldn't have assumed."
"No, it's okay. You were right. I don't."
"Oh…"
"What?"
"I… I don't know."
"No, seriously. What are you thinking?"
"I don't know, Gina. Maybe you should. It's been shown to have positive health benefits, including stress reduction…"
"When and where am I supposed to do that, exactly? I don't know if you know this or not, but I have a wife, and generally, we sleep in the same bed."
"Not if you're here."
"Ruby!"
"What?"
"I'm not going to masturbate in your bedroom!"
"Technically, it's not my bedroom…"
"Oh, my God! You can't seriously think I'm gonna wank it here!"
"Why not? You loud or something?" Ruby teased, grinning at her friend.
Regina instantly shoved the woman's shoulders until she fell backwards and burst out laughing.
"Shut up!" the older woman shouted.
"Oh, my God! You are, aren't you?"
"That is none of your business!"
"Ha! That's priceless! I never pictured you as a screamer."
"What would you be doing picturing me as anything?!"
Suddenly, Ruby's smile disappeared.
"I, uh… I just meant…"
Raising an eyebrow, the mayor looked at her friend, attempting to interpret her strange reaction to the question.
"Anyway…" the green-eyed beauty continued. "I really don't care. You need to relieve your stress before you pop a blood vessel or give yourself a heart attack. It's not a big deal."
"I am not going to lay in your apartment and touch myself. That's gross."
"It's not. It's perfectly normal for a woman to want to experience an orgasm, and it's perfectly normal for her to do it herself."
"And I assume you would know."
"Well… I, uh… Yeah. I mean, everyone does it, right?"
"I don't."
"You're married."
"Okay, fine."
"I'm as single as it gets. I get urges, alright? Do you really think it's gross?"
"Ruby, I didn't mean… I didn't mean it was gross for you to do it. I just meant… me… at your apartment… with you right down the hall…"
"Look," Ruby said sternly. "I'm going to bed. And I'm going to shut the door. And I'm not coming out until eight AM tomorrow morning. So whatever you want to do, you can do. Whether it's out here… where I can't hear anything from my room… or in the spare bedroom."
"Ruby! I'm not going to-"
"Night!"
With that, Ruby left the tent made of sheets and shut herself in her bedroom. For a while, Regina tried to sleep on the floor of the fort, not feeling motivated enough to move, but after some time, she realized that if she actually did manage to fall asleep, her back would be killing her by the morning. Having had that realization, she crawled out from under the sheet and began to take down the tent, folding the sheet neatly and putting all the pillows back on the couch.
Once she was shut in the spare bedroom, tucked under the exceptionally warm covers, her thoughts flowed back to Ruby's words. It's perfectly normal… It's not a big deal. Everyone does it. Face growing warm as she blushed, Regina rolled onto her back and stared at the ceiling as Ruby did the same in the next bedroom. A few short moments of confliction later, Regina's hand slipped into her panties, and her fingers began to rub the most sensitive part of her body.
As the sensation washed over her, she shivered and began to move a little faster, her breathing becoming labored.
"Oh, fuck," she breathed, touching herself with slightly more pressure.
Why does this feel so good? she was thinking. The harder her thighs shook, the more guilt she began to feel. Why isn't it this good with Emma? The fact that her own hand felt better than her wife's made her stomach turn. Why don't I love her like I used to?
At the same time, Ruby found her thoughts drifting to the woman in the next room. Oh, God, she thought to herself. What if she's doing it? What if she's actually doing it right now? Groaning, the flustered brunette allowed herself the pleasure of her own touch, but kept it slow and gentle, almost teasing.
"Ruby," she found herself whispering in the dark.
As soon as the word slipped past her lips, her heart stopped.
Soon, Regina found her thoughts of guilt too intense to push aside, and her pleasure, despite her best efforts, slowly began to numb. At least, until she heard a soft, unmistakable cry coming from the next room. Oh, my God, Regina thought. Was that…? Her heart raced as her imagination filled the sudden silence with similar sounds. She's…
"Oh, fuck…" the woman cursed again, as her walls finally began to contract around the two fingers she'd inserted into her core.
Ruby, her thoughts wandered. Those perfect green eyes… The way she holds me… Oh, my God…
"Oh, holy shit," she whispered, her orgasm finally releasing her from its grip.
But you were thinking about Ruby.
Mentally, she slapped herself, and down the hall in her own room, Ruby was doing the same as her fluids soaked her fingers. Rubbing her index finger and thumb together and feeling the slickness of her juices, the brunette imagined that they belonged to her best friend.
"Good morning…" Ruby said, her voice cracking as she attempted to wake her sleeping friend.
To the woman's intense surprise, the bulge in the sheets made it clear that Regina's hand was still between her legs, and the other brunette blushed as she imaged how it had gotten there.
Waking suddenly and immediately realizing that she'd fallen asleep in a compromising position, Regina shot up in bed, knowing that her friend had seen.
"I, uh…"
Understanding that the woman was embarrassed, Ruby assured her, "It's fine. I made bacon. You should come get breakfast."
"Ruby, I… I wasn't…"
"Regina. Everyone does it."
"But not in their best friend's bed!" the mayor cried desperately, her face growing a deeper shade of red with every passing moment.
"I told you already. It's not my bed."
Purely without permission, Regina's thoughts suddenly went to Ruby's bedroom as she wondered how often the younger woman pleasured herself.
"Everyone does it," Ruby repeated, forcing herself to smile. "It's fine."
"What… What do you think about? You know… To get off…"
Eye wide in surprise at the question, the other brunette shrugged her shoulders, saying, "Lots of things."
"I feel… dirty…"
"Why?"
"Because of what I thought about…"
Don't tell her! Regina warned herself.
"They're just fantasies. It's not like you cheated on your wife…"
"I…"
"What is it, Gina? What's wrong?"
"N-Nothing…"
Furrowing her brow, Ruby sat down on the bed beside her friend and put her hand on the woman's shoulder.
With a sigh, she confessed, "I think about the people I want to have sex with, of course. And how I want them to fuck me. How I want to fuck them."
"Who do you want to have sex with?"
"Regina, that's… That's not the point."
"Right. Sorry."
"What could be so bad about what you were thinking?"
"Nevermind. I should go."
"Regina, wait."
"I gotta go."
With that, the mayor quickly slipped out from under the sheets and nearly ran to the bathroom to freshen up before leaving the apartment.
A few days later, after several fights with her wife, Regina found herself crying on her friend's couch.
"What happened, babe?" Ruby asked desperately, wiping the woman's tears with her thumbs as she sobbed uncontrollably. "Talk to me."
"I told her I wanted a divorce. I feel like a failure. Henry is going to-"
"Henry will understand."
"No, he won't!"
"Yes, he will. Look at me." Lifting the mayor's chin gently, Ruby looked into the woman's eyes with a serious expression and added, "You had to do what was best for you. And it wouldn't be fair to Emma to stay with her when you don't love her."
Nodding slowly, Regina tried to reach up to wipe her own eyes, but her friend pushed her hand aside and wiped her cheeks herself.
"I feel so broken. I'm not sad to leave her, but I'm so broken about this failed marriage. I just wanted to be happy."
"You will be."
"How do you know?"
"Because you deserve it."
"That doesn't mean I will be." When Ruby began to look flustered and didn't reply, Regina sighed, "I feel like I'll never be happy."
"I wish I could make you happy," the other brunette blurted. When her friend's eyebrows lifted, she quickly added, "I just meant… I want you to be happy. I wish I could help. I didn't mean… I…"
"Shut up and hug me, idiot," the older woman laughed, holding her arms out to encourage the embrace.
Wearing a bright blush, Ruby wrapped her arms around the mayor and squeezed. Oddly enough, neither pulled away. Instead, Ruby lingered, her breath warm on Regina's neck, making the woman shiver. When Regina's hands slid from Ruby's back down to her hips, Ruby shivered too.
"Gina," she whispered, finally lifting her head. "We should go have some breakfast. It's-"
"Ruby…"
"W-What?" the younger woman stammered nervously, her muscles tightening at the sound of her own name.
She loved the way it rolled off Regina's tongue. The way the woman said it. How softly the word slipped past her lips. It was almost too pure. Too enticing.
"I'm not hungry." When her friend didn't speak, the dark-eyed brunette added, "Get under the covers with me. It's cold."
"It's not cold," Ruby laughed. "The heat's on full blast."
"Shut up and get in here."
With a chuckle, the woman obeyed and slipped under the covers next to her friend. As soon as they were beside each other and she felt Ruby's thigh touching her own, Regina slid her arm around the woman's back and tugged her just a little closer, until their shoulders were pressed together. Then, she dropped her head to Ruby's shoulder.
"You're always going to have me, you know," Ruby told the mayor, looking deeply into her dark and beautiful eyes.
"How do you know you won't get sick of me?"
"Because all I want to do is see you smile. All I want is to see you happy. When you're around, everything gets brighter. You're… You're my best friend, Regina…"
"Yeah…" she replied slowly, looking down at the space between them where there hands rested on the covers side by side. In a moment of bravery, Regina reached over, just with her pinkie, and drew a line down the side of Ruby's hand, saying, "Best friends."
"Do… Do you think…"
"What?"
"Nevermind. It's stupid."
"No, what? Tell me."
"Do you think we could ever… I don't know. I mean…"
"Do I think we could ever…?" Regina asked, trailing off to allow her friend to finish. When she didn't, the mayor added, "Be more than friends?"
Eyes wide with shock, Ruby stared at the woman beside her, unable to speak. Her lips parted when she felt the woman's hand fully on top of her own.
"Yeah, I do," Regina finished.
"You're joking, right?" Ruby asked, forcing a laugh, despite how serious the mayor looked.
"Were you joking when you tried to ask?"
"Well… No…"
"Ruby… I've been thinking… and… I think part of the reason that I drifted so far from Emma was because we weren't right for each other. But the other part… I think the other part is that I've gotten so close to you. I'm realizing… I'm realizing what want feels like again. I'm learning what it means to feel that fire again."
"What are you talking about?"
"I'm talking about you and me, Ruby. Maybe you don't feel or see it, but I do. I feel warm when you're holding me. I feel full and complete."
"I… I feel the same way."
This earned a shy smile from the mayor, who gently pinched the woman's side, making her jump.
"Ow!" Ruby cried with a laugh, shoving Regina's shoulder.
"Rubes," the older woman said, her tone suddenly serious again.
"Yeah, babe?"
"I love you…"
Ruby replied without hesitation.
"I love you too."