TIME IS NOT HEALING
BPOV
I was looking through the window and thinking about how my life would be if I fought for him. When he told me he was leaving I hadn't been convincing enough with trying to make him see that I love him with all my heart and he does too. But memories from the past clouded my judgment of what I deserve as a woman. I was still thinking about the night my mom and dad had a falling out over telephone when I was 9.
YOU HAVE TO BE KIDDING ME CHARLIE! My mum was yelling at my dad I THOUGHT THAT WE COULD WORK OUT OUR DIFFERENCES ,BUT SADLY IT ISN´T POSSIBLE ,WHEN ALL YOU WANT TO DO IS CONVINCE ME THAT I MOVE BACK TO THE ONLY PLACE I DESPISE! my dad was calm enough to not react the same way my mom did RENEE I AM NOT IMPLYING THAT YOU MOVE BACK RIGHT NOW BUT I WOULD LIKE YOU TO MOVE BACK EVENTUALLY AND BRING BELLA BACK TO ME. I MISS BOTH OFF YOU AND I STILL LOVE YOU MORE THAN ANYTHING my mum remained quiet and then she went to her bedroom. I stayed in the kitchen but because the apartment had thin walls you could hear the moment my mom broke my dad's heart in pieces CHARLIE I CAN`T DO THIS ANYMORE. I THOUGHT MY LOVE FOR YOU WAS STRONGER BUT IT IS NOT! MY LIFE WAS EASIER WHEN YOU WERE LIVING YOUR LIFE AND I MINE. IT'S BETTER FOR US TO JUST NEVER GET BACK TOGETHER!
I was 18 now and I already lost the love of my life. Wasn't I pathetic? He left 6 months ago today and I haven't heard from him ever since. He was very adamant about keeping his promise It's going to be like I never even existed. And I didn't like that. Because with him I often felt like my dad, trying to convince my mom to something. But he was not being like my mom the majority of time. He was him and I was the best possible version of myself when I was around him. I know it sounds silly but I always felt that he was holding on to me because he wanted to feel the human side but he never did. When he left it broke me. That was a fact and since then I was questioning his love for me.
I laid on the bed and picked up the computer from the floor. When the background cached my eye on the photo was a picture of me and him kissing. I quickly clicked the chrome button before tears had a chance fall from my eyes. I was more on my computer since he left because I always felt alone.