Part 1
"I gotta talk to you"
"Me?" Doris pointed to herself "What did I do?"
"No, nothing" Olivia squinted "Or did you?"
"Maybe, I don't know you have that crazy look in your eyes"
Olivia plopped down beside her friend "OK so this is awkward enough so just bite your tongue until I'm done"
"Lips are sealed"
The brunette began, she had been holding this in since last night, even earlier this morning when she basically was dressed and already out the door before Natalia could get a word in "So last night, you know it was my first night back in the farmhouse and we were good, like really good. We had dinner, watched some TV and even put Emma to bed together and we got to her bedroom. Our bedroom. It was awkward but I expected that. We started kissing but then things got messy"
"A good hot sexy messy or..?"
"Bad..very bad"
"Like how bad?"
"The I slept in my old room kind of bad"
Doris sniffled "No.."
Olivia sighed "It was suppose to be perfect and took all of two minutes for me to screw it up"
"What did you do?"
"Umm" she cringed, her mouth agar "A slight remark about Franks baby seeing what I was doing to her Mommy" Olivia watched Doris chock on her breakfast "Look, it was a half arse attempt at humour in a very real and very compromising position, but that's who I am, she knows this and I know this is my baby too but still gets to me that this is Franks baby." In the light of day- it wasn't as funny but in the moment her libido was rising and.. "It came out wrong"
"What did Natalia do?"
"Told me that I was overrating.. that the baby is mine as much as Franks and asked if the reason why I wouldn't.. you know was because she is pregnant"
"She basically wanted you to take her and you took the humour approach instead?"
"Love her" Olivia corrected "But yes and I made light of it, not because it was funny or amusing but because it scares me just how much I do love her- the physical side of things terrifies me. Neither of really us know what we are doing" The brunette explained "Like I know sex, my reputation speaks for itself but this is new and different"
"It's all the same. Think about when you realised you were in-love with Natalia, how terrified you were that you could allow yourself to love somebody so much and the small little fact that she was your roommate and a woman just added to you're dilemma"
"I just don't want to disappoint her. I want to be better than that. I was it to be perfect for the both of us. She at least deserves more from me than this slight idea of what it should be like" She added.
Natalia had only ever been with two men- One they both loved, the other she didn't but never-the-less Olivia had pretty high standards to meet up too.
Doris mused from her own experiences "It will come naturally"
"Are you sure about that because I felt so lost, she is my everything with the exception of my daughters but last night in her arms, kissing her I was lost. It was like my brain was a jumbled mess"
"You are way too focused on how it should or shouldn't be that you are forgetting what really matters"
"Oh yeah Yoda and what's that?"
"That you two love each other and are wanting to have this incredible life together. Sure the first time might not be the best sex ever or it could be, but you will learn how to love her in that way and she you"
Olivia thought about it for a minute. Has she been over thinking it? Was it as simple as just being in the moment with Natalia?
It had taken them so long to even admit that they loved each other and just as long for Natalia to come back and reclaim Olivia, fighting for her.
Natalia was stronger than most gave her credit for and Olivia could see the changes even in the way she opening touched her and held her hand so confidently.
"Can I suggest something?"
"Of course"
"Go to the florist, buy her some flowers and stop being a scared kitty and go home- tell her what you just told me"
Part 2:
"Hi" Olivia greeted sheepishly, flowers in hand. Natalia's back was facing her "I, um.. brought you flowers to apologize"
The long-haired brunette spun around, her face still "Apologize for what?"
OK, I see how this is going to play out, I'm not that stupid. She took another step closer "It wasn't funny" she stopped "I wasn't funny and please don't throw that plate at me because I have a weak heart"
Natalia gave a mocking chuckle and sat the plate down "You thought it was funny last night then this morning, nothing. Nothing. I barely got a look from you. Doesn't it bother you that this is how we spent the first night, as a couple. A family?"
"I screwed up, OK." Biting her lip. Just give it to me gently
"But yet, I screw up and you refuse to forgive me for weeks. How is that fair?" I deserve that. Olivia thought to herself not seeing how the two could possibly be related.
Never the less "It's not, you're right" Olivia knew better than to fight Natalia on this "But if you just let me explain you might understand why I said what I said"
Natalia sighed, throwing the tea towel on the counter "I looked like a fool"
"If anybody is the fool, it's me"
"Yeah, how so? We were right there. I was ready and you took that from me"
"Just please let me explain"
"Fine"
Olivia put the flowers on the table, she knew next time that she couldn't use flowers, she had to use proper words "I.." Fuck
"You?"
The brunette shot her a look "Now you're making fun of me"
"OK, I'm sorry" She was right "Go ahead"
"Firstly, I wanted to be close to you. I need you to know that. I want that more than anything. I have never.." she groaned "Never wanted somebody more than you last night, you honestly have no idea.."
Natalia's face dropped like she was about to speak but Olivia cut in "You know me better than most. You know everything about me and being with you, it was like I froze"
"Did I pressured you? Because.."
"No, God no. I think maybe I was stupidity trying to talk myself out of it" She stepped closer to her girlfriend, a term that she used so freely these days and bravely took her hands "My defence mechanism kicked in and I wasn't trying to be smart or even condensing. It was a horrible crack at humour but I know this baby is mine as much as Franks's and I couldn't be happier to be here with you right now but I.."
"You were scared.." Natalia guessed
"Terrified" Her voice shook
The long-haired brunette's face softened "You have been with so many men and I thought that it was me. You made me think I wasn't enough"
"Firstly, it hasn't been that many and secondly, you are more than enough. More than I deserve and I feel like I have to step up my game. Being with men has been easy, satisfyingly easy but with you.. Being with the woman I love and the fact that you are a woman scared the life out of me because I didn't know if I could meet up to your standards"
Natalia wanted to tell her that Olivia was all that she needed, all that she fantasied about for months now however, saying it was harder than just doing it.
"How did you get so confident? So brave? I thought if anything when we got to that moment, I would help you though it but instead it was me that failed
"You didn't fail. We have our entire lives to figure it out and I'd like to think you helped me with confidence thing" Natalia returned "When I was away.." she stopped and reached up, tucking a loose lock of Olivia's hair behind her ear "I don't think I've ever missed anybody as much as I missed you and that's when I knew that you are the love of my life. That gave me a lot of courage because you're love is so powerful"
Olivia pulled a stray lock out of Natalia's eyes and slowly inched her way closer, licking her lips. She missed her lips. So much. Natalia could feel Olivia's hot inviting breath on her lips and both moaned as their mouths made contact. Natalia parted her mouth, allowing Olivia access. Natalia's hands roaming around Olivia's back , the connection intensified as their breathing became irregular and elicit.
The two woman stumbled over to the counter causing Natalia to grunt and pull back "My heart is beating so fast" she whispered
Olivia moved her lips to Natalia's earlobe, her skin was burning with desire, she took a brave step and softly nibbled on her ear "I love you so much"
"Olivia.." she moaned
"God, I know"
The younger brunette cursed herself but.. "We have to stop" as her hands found their way underneath Olivia's jacket, feeling her bare skin "I..I should stop" she corrected
"Mmm, why?" positioning her knee in-between the Natalia's thighs, causing her gasped and slowly closed her eyes and throwing her head back.
Gaining some strength she grabbing Olivia by her shoulders and pushed her back, catching her breath "Because it's the middle of the afternoon and I am sure you have work"
She was careful but screw it.. "Seriously? Do you want to bake cookie's instead?"
"It's just not the time or place. I don't want to make love to know just because we had a fight and you love my cookies" She exclaimed with a grin
"You make cookies sound so dirty" She smirked, jokingly "But I promise next time I won't close down on you. I want you more than ever"
"I was scared too, you know? but a good scared"
"Aren't you worried that we are so clueless when it comes to this?"
Natalia laughed "Considering how easy that just was, I think we will be fine. I have learnt so much just by coexisting with you.."
"Yeah, how so?"
"How to touch you, how to hold your hand" she smiled and captured Olivia's lips "How to kiss you" Natalia took both of Olivia's hands, grazing her fingers over Olivia's knuckles "And Blake has offered to give us a book to read if we are super bad at it"
Part 3:
Natalia was jumping out of her skin nervous. Their heated kiss in the kitchen earlier left her feeling very edgy.
It was definitely a new and exciting feeling.
She really did appreciated Olivia's opening up about her fears and then the way she touched her. God, give me strength and she knew sex with Olivia would be special, no matter the circumstances.
True, they weren't married but that really wasn't an option for them and waiting.. as much as she knew Olivia was willing to wait, Natalia wasn't.
She wanted it all.
Frank, bless his heart.. she didn't love him. She talked herself into it and it was a very raw moment and now understood now why she did sleep with him.. Olivia.
While away she realised God had another plan for her, it may not be the plan envisioned for herself or anybody else that knew her but she knew he still loved her, no matter her choices and even her mistakes in the past and even come to terms with the fact that she was possibly a lesbian or as Blake called it - Gay for Olivia.
Her thoughts were interrupted by her phone ringing, she smiled widely.. dimples and all "Hey you"
"God, I miss you" she sighed
"Olivia.." She reamed for using God's name in vain.
"Sorry but I do and you're going to have to get used to me calling you my goddess" she chuckled
Natalia rolled her eyes "What am I gunna do with you?"
"I could think of some things" she answered playfully "So I called Phillip"
"How's he doing?"
"He's actually home and wants to spend some time with Emma"
"Well that's good"
"Yeah so.. tonight and I was thinking.." she stumbled. What happened to the confidant Olivia Spencer?
"Hmm" she smiled, knowing were this was going "You were thinking, what?
"You know what.. please don't make me say it"
"I want you to say it"
"Sweetheart, you're going to be the end of me"
Natalia loved when Olivia called her by these pet names. First it was honey, then came sweetheart. Just as long as it wasn't baby.. Frank called her that a few times and she cringed every time "I just like to make life hard for you"
"You are bad..."
"And crazy in love with you"
"And I you"
"But I still want you to say it.."
"Fine.. With Emma staying with Phillip we have the house to ourselves"
"Precious time?" She added
"..To ourselves?"
Olivia chuckled "Yes"
"Your very cute"
"Now your playing me"
"Maybe.."
Olivia sighed, fiddling with her pen "I haven't stopped thinking about you all day"
"Me either.. our kiss in the kitchen was.. amazing"
"Oh, you mean before you sent me off to work?"
"I just.."
"Look, I get it, you want something better than in the kitchen"
"That wasn't it.. With your recent fears, I wasn't sure I was ready for another false start. I don't think I could handle another one "But you need to know I am ready when you are"
Olivia grinned "Oh how our roles have reversed, I remember a similar conversation where I was telling you I was willing to wait"
"And if you remember correctly I wanted it too, even then"
"I'm ready. So ready"
"Oh yeah?" enjoying the playfulness of Olivia's tone
"Yes, really"
"So tonight.."
"Mmhmm, definitely our night"
"Natalia.."
"Yes"
"Just so you know.. in case there was any miscommunication or I didn't tell you earlier with all the 'I'm sorry for being an arse' thing"
"Swear jar!"
"But I have a nice arse, don't I?"
"Not the point" argued back "Swear jar"
"As I was saying- I love all of you, even the pregnant part. It had nothing.. nothing to do with the pregnant part. The fact that you are carrying our baby girl.. it just makes me appreciate you more" Olivia explained.
Over the last few days she'd found herself watching Natalia differently. The way she carried herself, their child and she was the first one to admit she had been protective over the younger brunette over the last year or so but now she wasn't just protective of Natalia but their unborn baby too.
"That's the first time you called her ours"
"Well, she is mine too, right"
"Of course, I want that more than anything"
"And yes the fact that Frank helped does bring out the green-eyed monster but never-the-less I now am focusing on you and I as a family with Emma and this little girl"
"And Rafe and Ava too.."
"Talk about the white picket fence"
The shared the light moment "Umm, Ms Spencer.." Olivia looked up to see Kira at her door "You're meeting is in 10"
"Thanks Kira"
"You gotta go?"
"I don't want too"
Natalia scoffed "Whatever"
"What's that suppose to mean?"
"You love to work"
"I love you more" Olivia realised what she'd just said "Oh I'm lame"
"And cheesy"
"Don't let that out"
"With a marshmallow centre"
"Stop"
Natalia snickered "I love that I see a side of you that no-one else sees"
"And let's keep it that way"
"Only because I love you"
Olivia grumbled "I should go, Sweetheart"
"OK, did you want me to pick Em up from school and take her to Philips?"
"Is that alright?"
"Of course it is. Just because I'm pregnant doesn't mean I can't take care of my other child"
"I'd love that.. I'd really love that"
"But get home as soon as you can, OK?"
"Ooh, I will"
"I'll make it extra special for you"
Olivia groaned "Stop, for the love of god.. stop"
"I could get used to teasing you like this"
"You just wait.."
Natalia smiled "See you later"
"Bye love" Love. Another pet name. Who was she kidding, Olivia could call her whatever she wanted and it would be fine.
Part 4:
Natalia sat down on the bed and waited for Olivia to lock up, she nervously fidgeted with her clothes- patting herself down, contemplating whether to change into something more sexy, alluring even but it was too late, she heard Olivia's footsteps on the stairs "Wait!" she called out "Don't come in yet!"
Outside the door, Olivia groaned "Seriously?"
"I need.. we need something"
"Like?"
"Music or maybe candles"
"And I can't come in for that?"
"No.."
She could hear the unwillingness in Natalia's voice "What is this really about?"
"I want.."
"You want?" She waited. This woman is going to be the death of me and I have already nearly died once. OK not funny Olivia.
"I want to be sexy for you"
It was a near whisper but Olivia could hear her "Oh sweetheart" she didn't care, she opened the door and saw Natalia sitting on the bed, her head down- hands between her thighs. She sighed sitting next to her "You are very very sexy"
Natalia lifted her head "Please, I don't know how to be sexy"
"Well for someone who doesn't know how, you are doing a fantastic job"
"How do you do that?" Her eyes searched Olivia's
"What?"
"Make me feel so special"
Olivia took her hand "I guess the same way you make me feel like I'm worth being loved"
Natalia moved closer, her lips grazing her lovers "I'm shaking" noticing her hand shake beneath Olivia's.
"Me too" She took a second "If none of this feels right to you.."
Olivia began but was stopped by Natalia's finger on her lips "Just let me do something.." their lips met and at first it was slow..soft even but soon turned fast and feverish.
This caused a shock-wave effect.
Olivia had no control over her own body any more, she moved her lips from Natalia's towards her neckline, causing her heart-rate to quicken, whereas Natalia felt her own body weaken at Olivia's touch. She had never felt such pure desire than to have Olivia kiss and touch her like this.
Natalia kept her hands on Olivia's back but she gasped as her girlfriends skilful hands and lips explored her body, she could feel a heat building up inside her, she needed to feel Olivia, touch her in the same way. She gathered enough strength and her lips quickly found Olivia's earlobe, gently sucking on it, causing a moan from Olivia.
While Natalia's hands raked madly though her girlfriends hair. The ache intensified as Olivia's hands found their way under Natalia's blouse, feeling her soft silky skin, her own body was on fire like never before.
All the lovers she'd had, none had matched this moment right now and they had only just started.
Natalia let out a deep throaty groan as she felt Olivia's breasts touch her own, they were both still fully dressed but never the less it drove her crazy with excitement.
She could feel losing her grip, the excitement was becoming way to much to bare, nerves and arousal surging through her body at the touches she was receiving- Natalia knew she would completely lose it if they continued at this pace, and she wanted to remember every minute. Wanted this to last.
She reluctantly pulled back and playful pushed Olivia back, their breathing erratic "I..we need to slow it down"
Alarm bells went off in Olivia's mind "Are you OK? Did I hurt you?" With a mixture of arousal and fear in her voice
"Of course not, No. I'm fine" She took Olivia's hand "I just need to.. catch my breath"
"Do" not sure whether to ask but she needed too "Do you want to stop?"
"No.." Her eyes never leaving Olivia's, bravely she reached out, Olivia's eyes closed tightly feeling Natalia lightly run her fingertips from her neck, along her breast bone to the top of where her scar sat "I want this more than anything"
"Natalia.."
"I need to see you" she exclaimed "All of you" reaching down, she tugged on Olivia's shirt, lifting it over her head and revealing the most beautiful sight she'd ever seen. She never thought this could turn her on, she'd seen other woman in their bra's before but this..this was different. She bit her lip as she looked back up into her girlfriends green orbs. She then ran her fingertips over the black bra, along her nipples, she felt Olivia shutter, her eyes closed "Are you OK?"
"God, yes" she opened her eyes, Natalia noticed the fire in her eyes and smiled before her lips reclaimed Olivia's neck, her hands reaching behind Olivia, she chuckled as her clumsy hands tried to unclasp Olivia's bra "How is this so hard?" she asked with her lips on Olivia's shoulder
The older woman's lips where busy on the back of Natalia's neck but managed to reach behind and unclipped her own bra "Better?"
"Much" she answered quickly as she pulled back and gazed down at Olivia's nipples.
She was mesmerised. Totally and utterly.
Olivia looked up from her own bare chest and into Natalia's dark eyes as she leaned into her, pulling the shirt up the brunette's arms and letting it drop to the floor.
She then slid her hands around Natalia's waist to her back and skilfully unclasped Natalia's bra "That went smoother" she joked before their lips re-connected, it sent her into a deep haze as she followed Natalia's lead and gently ran her palms over her girlfriends breasts, feeling her nipples harden at her touch "Oh god, you feel good" pulling her lips away and moving them towards her nipples, Natalia gasped at Olivia's hot mouth on her, manipulating her breast.
The sensations of the brunette's tongue causing an undeniable ache between her thighs.
"That feels amazing"
They began to move back on the bed, exploring each other. Garments of clothing discarded along the way and now they laid only in their panties.
Olivia laid above her lover and smiled "I love you"
"I love you"
She lowered her head back down to capture Natalia's lips, their tongues dulling as their naked breasts pushing together.
Natalia broke the kiss to grabbed a breath as she felt Olivia's hand gently knead her breast.
Bringing her lips to the Olivia's ear, she whispered "Make love to me" Both women were breathing heavily, their noses almost touching.
Olivia swallowed nervously and full of excitement, pulling completely back as she gazed down at the sight before her before she hooked her thumbs around the waistband of Natalia's panties, holding her breath with anticipation, sliding them down her legs and throwing them onto the floor with the rest of their discoursed clothing, all the while her eyes remained on Natalia.
She leaned back into her lover, capturing her lips once more as her fingers softly grazed their way along Natalia's abdomen towards her sex, she pulled back and lovingly her eyes roamed Natalia's, her other hand caressing her face as she entered her slowly, feeling Natalia's body reach.
Nothing was more arousing than this moment right now and as Natalia gasped for air- Olivia captured her lips with full force, feeling Natalia's nails lightly digging into her back.
Her thumb circling her clit as she began pumping her fingers faster, the sweat dripping from her naked body onto Natalia's "Stay with me.." She breathed "Keep your eyes on me" she begged
"I.. Olivia..." she forced her eyes open, feeling everything Olivia was giving her. She wanted to give the same to Olivia, with one hand on the back of Olivia's head the other found its way down south, towards Olivia's panties, she quickly moved them aside and gasped as easily sliding her fingers deep inside her, causing her girlfriend to scream with ecstasy, which only driving them faster, harder.. deeper.
They were in sync with each other.
So connected.
Natalia began cried out as she felt her body spasm "Aahh" she was losing control and with their lips barely touching. Olivia moaned as she felt Natalia's legs tighten around her. Pushing them closer together.
They both were so close.
Olivia could feel Natalia began to tighten around her fingers, her sticky juices began to seep out into her hand, Natalia threw her head back, grunting, feeling shock-waves throughout her body, Olivia could feel her own orgasm like a bolt of electricity surge though her body, calling Natalia's name before falling on top of her, both panting and motionless.
After a few minutes, Natalia began to chuckle "Oh wow"
Olivia could barely lift her head from Natalia's chest "I know"
"That was.."
"Mmhmm" basking in afterglow
"We waited that long.."
"Never again" Olivia countered, she could barely speak. How? How could I have been missing this?
"We need to do that again" Natalia said suddenly, gaining a amusing look from Olivia
"I'm all for that sweetheart but I have lost all ability to move right now"
"Please?"
"Pouting.. cute but just let my legs rest"
"You don't have to do anything" Natalia countered
Olivia raised her brow
"I promise I'll make it worth your while"
And that she did...