Lilly's Memoir
Chapter 1—Lilly's Introduction
Finally, the final show of our great tour was over. As a lead singer for the Philadelphian Chorus, I had to give my best performance yet. As I sat before my assigned vanity after the show, the nervous tension drained from my body, and the colour returned to my face. I could feel a serge of excitement coming over me; tomorrow, I, Lilly Dewitt-Bukator, would be travelling home to the United States on the grandest ship in the world…The Titanic! My concert tour to England conveniently ended on Tuesday 9th April, and Cal, my elder sister's fiancé, took the opportunity to reserve First Class tickets, for Rose, Mother, me, and himself. Though I honestly did not have the slightest fondness of Cal, I must commend him for this gesture.
Cal…what could I possibly say about him? He was a proud bastard, always thinking of himself and money. His reputation was always more important to him than my sister, and my mother knew that, but she still pinned him on Rose, all due to her own fear for loss of her reputation, for my father died, leaving us to deal with his debts, and to face the reality that we could lose all we had. Marrying Cal would insure our survival, as Mother kept saying, but was it worth it? And Rose, being more proper than I ever was, gave in, but as it drew closer to the wedding, I could see her declining happiness. I was the only one who understood Rose, who understood that she was feeling stifled, yet I didn't know how to console her, how to get her out of the situation, or how to even convince her that she needed to get out of it. After all, how could you blame her? He gave her everything she wanted.
My mother and I were never close, the way I was with Father. I took after him- his thick skin, brown eyes, his love for gambling, and his very forward character. I took my hair from my mother- soft, natural curls, that had a darker, reddish-brown tint, rather than a flaming red, like Rose had. My mother didn't like my attitude, believing I had taken it from my most trusted friend, Kyle Carpenter, whom I had grown up with since age 6, and was presently courting. He, to my advantage, played in the band which led my choir, and would also be returning home on Titanic, though, in Second Class. Father had always liked Kyle and his family, despite their middle class status, but my mother loathed him with everything she had in her, merely because he was of a lower class.
Startled by a pat on my back, my train of thought was broken. It was Rose, wearing a toothy smile in genuine congratulations, followed by Cal. Mother remained in the background.
"Lilly, you were fantastic," Rose said, kissing me lightly on my cheek.
"I'd have to agree. Your voice is marvellous. I think you really should consider singing as a career, it'll help you make a name for yourself."
'Oh good heavens, there he goes again' was all I could think as I saw Cal gaze at me. For some strange reason, the two of us shared an odd connection, like we had an understanding of one another, which I never could explain, not until later on. But I only thought that that was his method of trying to get on my better side. "Thank you, Cal for your sincere compliments, but I do suggest that you cease the 'sucking up', because I will never like you," I said, giving him a false smile of appreciation.
"You know, Lilly, you are going to have to get used to my presence, because I'm not going away anytime soon—"
"Unfortunately," I said under my breath, while Mother gave me a dirty look.
I proceeded to pack up my belongings as quickly as I could, to return to our hotel, because we had an overnight journey by train to Southampton from here- London. At the exit of the theatre, I met my love, Kyle. Every time I looked him in his eyes, I could see the past 10 years of pure bliss. I couldn't feel any happier with anyone else.
"Lilly!" he exclaimed, as he lifted me from the waist and spun me around. "I can't wait to see you tomorrow, in fact, all night, considering we'll be on the same train." He kissed me on my lips, and I could feel my mother's eyes burning a hole right through him. Cal, having so much in common with my mother, couldn't bear the sight either, and quickly broke us up before we could take it any further.
"We have to go, Lilly." Cal said, grabbing my shoulder and steering me through the door, as I mouthed 'I love you' back to Kyle, who waved with a smile. As we reached the car, Cal glared at me when I pulled my shoulder free, as though it was his right to lay a hand on me, or tell me who to love.
Ever since Rose's engagement, we travelled in style, as Cal had us driven anywhere and everywhere, in the most modern and fashionable vehicles. Cars, at that point, were still relatively new on the market, and still had me fascinated whenever I saw one. While cal was a self-centred jerk, he really did have quite a sense of style. As we got in, we were greeted by a hypnotizing scent of roses, which complimented the colour scheme of the seats. But the soothing atmosphere of the car was soon murdered by the glares of both my mother and Cal. Rose sat next to me, not saying anything, for she had absolutely nothing against public affection.
"Lilly, I might be permitting this courtship, but I refuse to have you behaving like that, especially in public," my mother scolded, obviously quite embarrassed.
"Why not Mother? What, are you still getting embarrassed by me in front of Cal? Because, honestly Mother, Cal has been following us around for quite some time now. He's quite used to my character already."
"This has nothing to do with Cal, Lilly. It has to do with your behaviour. That sort of display is not appropriate, and I will not have you degrading yourself."
"I am not degrading myself, Mother! And I feel no shame in being open about my feelings for Kyle. I'm not going to be like you! You and Father never showed love for one another. It was obvious that you hate him, I'm not stupid!" I yelled, as tears began to stream down my face. The blood in my veins felt like they had overheated, causing me to burst. Why was she taking out her frustration with father on me? It wasn't my fault he left her with nothing. Rose grabbed my hand to calm me down, and is could see my mother's face growing pale, and she looked away from me, out the window. Obviously she had been hurt by what I said, which made me feel like the superior being, for once again I had won the battle.
"That was uncalled for, Lilly."
"Put a sock in it, Cal."
There was silence all the way back to our hotel, and I immediately shut myself away in my room. I quickly took a bath and changed into a navy blue travelling suit, and tied my hair up in a bun. As I arranged my things, all the while having and heated argument with my conscience about what had occurred just earlier, I heard a tap on the door. "Who is it?" I asked, for I refused to sour my mood more by talking to my mother.
"It's Rose." I unlocked the door and moved aside to let her in, and quickly locked the door behind her, and continued arranging my affairs. "You know, Mother was really hurt by what you said, Lilly."
"I know she was, and I feel no regrets."
"You should, Lilly. That was really uncalled for, especially with Cal in the car. The chauffeurs too, they must have heard everything."
"Why should I care, Rose? Mother's only made things miserable for us ever since father died, you know that. And now she's trying to ruin the little bit of happiness either of us have left. And why are you protecting her? I know how upset you are with her for arranging this marriage. I know you don't like Cal either. You're seventeen, Rose, you should be living life right now, not allowing it to have a dragged end." I could see Rose thinking, knowing that I was right, but she continued to have a hard time facing the truth.
"Lilly, Mother is only trying to look out for our best interests—"
"And her own!"
"so I think you should apologize to Mother, before we leave." She walked to the door and opened it to leave, but she turned around to add on one last statement, "Lilly, I love you, you're my best friend, but, honestly, for a sixteen year old, you sometimes do act a little immature," and she left. I knew she was talking about how proper I was. I may have dressed like a princess, but my mouth was like an uncovered cesspit. I was only polite when I needed to be. But I knew that she really was just looking out for me, so I gave in, and apologized to my mother before we left…and unfortunately to Cal, for being so rude.
The train was rather full, making it impossible to find Kyle, so I slept most of the way to Southampton. The ride was long and bumpy, and I kept having nightmares of the train crashing and me, drowning in a large basin of water, but I let it pass knowing it was merely a dream. The morning sky was clear, and I took as a sign that this trip we were to take over the next week would be a good one. I figured God sent signs to us, letting us know what to expect, and this was definitely a good one, or so I thought.