I own absolutely nothing.
How Terrible It Is
To Love Something
That Death Can Touch.
"Hey! Hey! Hey!" A Little brown haired kid yelled out to his best friend.
"Hm?" Was the only answer he got out the dark eyed boy? "Listen to me!" He shouted out in mock anger with an adorable pout plastered on his pale face. "Why?" he answered back as he opened one eye and stared down his so called best friend. "Yuu!" Yuu opened his eyes yet again as he glared at him. "Don't call me that."
"But we are friends! Aren't we?" A few tears slid down his beautiful face. A sigh escaped the dark eyed boy as he got up from the grass and walked towards Allen. "Moy-" Allen's pout was directed towards him. "Aren. I'm sorry." He ruffled his brown hair before yanking the boy to his feet. "Let's go its getting dark." He made a full turn and stalked off but not before he was pulled to an abrupt halt.
"Hey Yuu~" Aren sang out in a sing song voice. "What." He shook his head and glanced up at the darkening sky. "We'll be together forever right?" He whispered out.
"That's a dumb question." Another yank and Yuu turned around. "Will we?" The dark haired boy gave up as he finally fessed up.
"Yes…Yea we'll be together forever and ever. I'll even marry you." A blush took up the boy's face as Allen's went up like a kid was given candy. "Mnhm!" He shook his up in down with glee before launching himself towards Yuu.
"Forever and Ever!" Allen said with uttermost glee.
"Forever." Yuu whispered out as he gave the brown haired teen a giant hug.
"Forever huh?" eighteen year old Allen Walker muttered out as a certain memory invaded his mind. "What a liar you are Yuu." He said with sadness in his voice as Allen looked out the window from the second story. As he did, Allen noticed 'Kanda' walk hand in hand with his girlfriend for three years. As he kept staring at them, 'Kanda' caught his eye and Allen looked away in distaste from that view. He took a sideways glance at them to notice 'Kanda' kiss her. Allen's heart made a cracking noise. He knew that nobody would notice that Allen was slowly dying in the inside. He redirected his gaze back to the teacher as a coughing fit made its way up his throat. His gloved hand hastily made its way to his mouth as he coughed into. He drew it back and noticed the blood on it. The gloved hand slowly clenched up so nobody would see the blood and worry about him.
He did have the volition (1) to go home anytime he deemed it worthy, but he didn't want to miss school. He had to stay and learn, learn to become the biggest lawyer in history. It 'was' his and Yuu's dream, but not anymore. Yuu moved on to someone else as he broke so many promises. He wanted to hurt Yuu so bad. He wanted to kick, scream, punch, and do everything unimaginable to Yuu. So many things, But he would not because he was not a pessimistic (2). He would not judge Yuu. He would not hate him because of his angst. He would be happy for him.
'AND WHAT! WATCH HIM BE HAPPY! WATCH HIM IGNORE YOU AS HE BREAKS'S EVERY PROMISE HE MADE!" His conscious yelled out to him.
'No. No. Noo! Shut up! Shut up! SHUT UP!' He yelled back to his mind.
"Allen Walker!' He snapped out of his thoughts when he heard his name being yelled at from the front of the class. "Y-Yes!" He stuttered out as his teacher gave him a stern look before pointing towards the door. Allen got the sign. He got it loud and clear. He packed up his things, shoved them in his bag before walking out of class as another coughing fit racked his whole body. Then, the pain started in his chest. He clutched it with a pained expression taking over his face. He took in a big gulp of air. As he did, he staggered a little but leaned against the wall.
'Damn. Not again.' Once his irregular breathing calmed down, he walked away from class and down the empty corridor. He turned the corner and walked down the steps. He continued walking as he reached the front gate. Allen pushed it open and walked out, but not before catching 'Kanda' watching him leave with a stoic expression.
'Oh how people change so much.' He thought as he turned his back to him and walked down the wet path. He hadn't noticed but, it started to rain. Allen stopped walking and looked up with a sad smile. "Seems like I'm not the only one being a pessimistic today." He gave out a throaty chuckle before continuing on in the rain. Allen would stop every once in a while to twirl in the rain. Small laughs would escape his mouth every time. Walk. Twirl. Laugh. That he would repeat it as he gave no care to who would watch him dance in the rain. He continued to laugh in the rain as all those bad thoughts that he thought about left his mind. He would try to move on. 'Try' His mind mocked out towards him.
"For Yuu."
"I love you. I love you." His girlfriend giggled out to him as he went inside when it started raining once again. He looked back to see that 'Aren' was no longer there. A sighed escaped his slightly parted lips; he closed them and looked down at 'his' girlfriend. He gave her a half-assed smile and walked hand in hand with her to class. They already missed four periods and couldn't afford to miss the last two. "Hey. Hey." He gave his girlfriend a side glance. "What."
"We'll be together forever right?" She whispered out and shyly glanced at him through her long brown bangs. Those words. It brought back a memory that he had long forgotten. One that he tried to forget as empty silver eyes watched him walk away as he broke that one important promise. Oh how he wished he could go back in time and rewind the mistakes he made. Sadly, he moved on.
"That's a dumb question." He muttered out as the girl frowned at his answer. Or did he move on? "Well then how about-" the shrilling bell cut off her beginning rant. "Oh! Time for lunch!" She spoke out gleefully and dragged Kanda with her to lunch. Kanda just followed her as she led the way; they bumped into Lavi and Lenalee. He groaned as they began talking to his girlfriend. "Yuu!" The baka usagi yelled out in pure sadistic glee. "Don't call me by my first name!"
That caught Lenalee's and his 'girlfriends' attention. "But why does little moyashi-chan get to call you that! It's not fair!" He pouted out in sadness. "Ar- Moyashi does not call me that!" He grounded out in malice as Lavi talked about the moyashi. "Yeah he does-" a new voice interrupted their conversation. "Lavi!" Kanda's eyes widened as the baka usagi was about to say something about the moyashi. Lavi paled before nervously looking at Kanda. "Well look at the time!" He pretended to look at his imaginary watch. "It's time for me and Lenalee to scram." Then Lavi grabbed Lenalee's wrist and took off. Kanda watched them run off to god knows where and- "Kanda." He stiffened before glancing at her from the corner of his eyes.
"Who's moyashi?" She tilted her head and his gaze hardened as unwanted memories ran through his mind like a movie. "And how come he gets to call you 'yuu' and I can't?" As she said that, kanda answered with one simple sentence.
"It was no one important, just an immature and useless fool."
"HEY YUU!" Twelve year old Allen yelled out to his best friend and supposedly 'future husband'. "What is it Aren?" He titled his head as beautiful bluish hair slid to one side of his face. The brown haired boy just blushed a beautiful shade of red. "As we get bigger, you'll be my first KISS!" Allen giggled out in glee when Kanda the more mature and Stoic one of both of them just blushed and started stuttering. "You stupid moyashi!" Yuu yelled out in embarrassment from his sentence. "How the heck did you come up with this nonsense!?" Allen just laughed at his expression. He just titled his head, put his pinky in-front of yuu's face and smiled. "Promise?"
"Promise."
"Did every promise you make to me...was it all a lie, Yuu?" Allen whispered out into his pillow when a few tears slid down his face and then...the roar of thunder was heard. "That's the second promise you broke, bakanda." A bitter smile took up his face. It just didn't feel right. Having a bitter smile on his face instead of a true genuine smile that was only directed to a certain 'bakanda'. Then Allen thought back on something. 'Kanda's' Girl-Friend had no idea who he was! They never met, never talked to each other, anything at all! 'Would you rather be the third wheel?' His conscious growled out in pure malice. 'Watch them be all up on each other as you would sit there and grit your teeth in pure hatred!? Just right there wanting to rip her away from you 'precious' Yuu!' His conscious spoke yet again as Allen's eyes went from a beautiful silvery gray to a dull deadly gray before changing back to the silvery grey. "This is Yuu's happiness we're talking about." He whispered to his empty apartment. Then...his conscious went quiet. Nothing was heard except the pattering of the rain and roar of the thunder. "Oh how cruel and twisted fate can be." He whispered out one more time in his empty room as his vision swirled for a moment, and then, darkness.
When Allen awoke, He awoke to the sun hitting his face full force. He twisted and turned but couldn't get away from the blazing light. That's when he looked at the clock. If read nine O'clock A.M. He was late! Very, very, late. He scrambled off the bed in a hurry, threw open his closet and got a clean school outfit. He rushed everything that he did in the mornings. Showering, brushing teeth, changing and eating. Especially eating! He grabbed two pears, a reddish/yellowish apple and some bananas. He didn't have time to a make a big breakfast as usual.
He ran out of his little apartment, locked the door and sped walked to school. As much as he wanted to stay and sleep in some more. Education came first. After he gave up that lawyer dream, he decided to be a musician. A well-known musician throughout the world. He was so close to achieving that goal and then- then what?
Travel the world?
Get as far away as possible from Yuu?
Another heart shattering crack came from Allen.
Then...then the nerve wrecking coughs started. He coughed...coughed and coughed for five minutes straight. Then, the next wave started. It was getting very hard to breathe. Like a vacuum was sucking out his precious oxygen. He fought back...oh how he fought back. Finally, ten minutes passed and Allen felt better again. Well maybe not better, better. So. Who was to say that he wasn't feeling good as he fixed his attire and walked to school instead of speed walking? He didn't want another episode to happen. Not at all.
When Allen finally made it to the school entrance, he stopped and stared. He stared until the other person finally noticed him. The other person blinked a couple of times before pushing himself away from the wall. "Moyashi."
A twitch came from Allen as he gave a curt smile back at him. "Bakanda." A growl escaped Kanda's throat. "Look you short as-" Allen glared at Kanda because he knew what he was going to say. "Finish that sentence bakanda and i swear I'll kick girly ass back to japan!" A shocked look overcame Kanda before returning back to his poker face. "Moyashi." He said yet again and this time Allen held back a smart ass remark.
"Why are you late?" Allen just stared at Kanda like he was one weird animal who grew a second head. "Why do you want to...to know?" Kanda just glared at him before opening his mouth to retort before Allen beat him to it. "Why! I'm not your friend! I'm not your lover! I'm just plain old Allen! The same Allen that you walked away from! The same Allen who admired you! The same Allen who had so many dreams before you crushed them, and shot me down because 'You' were embarrassed to be seen around me!"
Kanda just stared at Allen in slight shock as he let his pent up anger get the best of him. "Moya-" Allen gave him a nasty glare. "Shut up! Shut up! I can't deal with all this stress! I just can't yuu. I can't." Allen whispered out in pure sadness when the shock finally hit him. He slid to his knees and started stuttering out complete nonsense. "N-no. Wa-ait! I-I-I-" Kanda did not move at all. He just stood there. 'Now's the time, time to let him know how you feel.' His conscious spoke out wickedly as if tempting Allen that he could change his fate. "I-I-"
"Kanda!" A cheerful voice yelled at them from inside the school gate. Allen slowly looked up, focused his silver blurry eyes on the figure running towards him. Then he noticed how Kanda made haste to cover that person from Allen's sight. He looked up and glared at Kanda, slowly stood up and walked away. "Hey moyashi." He pretended that he couldn't hear a word he was saying. "Kanda!"
"FUCK! Hey Moyashi, stop this fucking instant!" Allen stopped walking when Kanda cussed out loud. "Moyashi? Is that him Kanda? The one that you called useless-" Allen was in shock. Kanda talked about him being useless? "SHIT! SHUT THE FUCK UP! Kanda yelled out to her. How did he know? It's because she gasped and stayed quiet. "Look moyashi-"
"I hate you."
"Oi, don't walk away from me!"
"Yet I love you"
"What are you saying stupid moyashi."
"Yet...I want you to be happy Yuu."
"Speak the hell up!"
Allen whirled around in anger and pointed at the girl by Kanda's side. "You have her! Pay attention to her Yuu! You left me because you met her! You broke so many promises because of her! Now because of her, you don't need me. You broke many important promises."
'Say it! Say it! Say it!' His conscious wickedly said yet again. "Yuu... I'm d-" another nerve racking cough hit Allen harder than ever. He tried to walk away but his body would not listen. "You're what!?" Allen continued to cough.
"Holy shit! You're coughing up blood!" His vision blacked out for a second and when he opened his eyes. A worried Yuu was staring down at him. "You L-liar." Allen whispered out when he suddenly went out like a light.
Kanda was pacing back in forth in the hospitals waiting room. Sniffing was heard as Lavi tried to cheer up Lenalee with his brotherly affections. "Don't worry L-" Lavi whispered out to her. "No, it's not! Allen is- Allen-" she broke into more sobs. He could not take it- he- then a door opened and all three occupants were at the door in a instant. Kanda was behind the baka usagi and Lenalee. He glared at the doctor because he was starring them down.
"Don't worry. Allen Walker had a little panic attack. Too much stress can make him cough up blood. "How do you-" Lavi asked. "It's in his medical records. Too much stress."
"But-" Lenalee began. "That's how his hair turned white, from the traumatic stress back in his past." The doctor said with a straight face. "Do any of you know why his hair turned white?" Lavi and Lenalee turned to look at him. "Yuu is the only one that grew up with him." The doctor turned his black beady eyes to kanda. "Sir, I would like you to tell me what happen during Allen Wal-" A nurse ran towards the doctor before frantically motioning for him to hurry. The doctor's eyes widened as excused himself from them and ran off to god knows where. Then from the corner of his eye he saw an old man walk towards the elevator. He couldn't help but stare as the old man pressed a button. Then as the door dinged open, the old man turned and made eye contact with him. Kanda's eyes widened as equally shocked eyes stared back at him. Kanda then made a mad dash towards Allen when he silvery eyes showed panic before it finally closed and Kanda punched the elevator door with anger.
"Damn that stupid moyashi." Kanda growled out and with a spin, he hit the other button for the elevator to take him to the first floor. Then with a loud 'ding' the elevator opened up and Kanda waited for the doors to close as he waited for him to arrive on the first floor. Another ding was heard and Kanda ran out the elevator and scanned the crowd for silver hair. "Come out stupid moyashi!" He said with an agitated look clearly seen on his face as people avoided him.
He looked and looked when he finally notice him run out of the hospital. He smiled a malicious grin and chased after him. He would chase or follow him from a safe distance. Then he noticed how Allen walked into the school's premises. He was confused since it was around six O'clock. Kanda followed the boy into the building. When he followed him, he noticed that the moyashi went into the music room.
He was confused, insanely confused because as far as he knew, 'Aren' never played or liked music.
Than the most beautiful voice came from the room with a piano carefully in tune with the person singing.
"Daitai itsumo doori ni
Sono kado wo magareba
Hitonami ni magire komi
Tokete kiete iku
Goku wa michi wo nakushi
Katoba sura nakushite shimau
Dakedo hitotsu dake wa
Nokotteta, nokotteta
Kimi no koe ga
Warau kao mo
Okoru kao mo subete
Boku wo arukaseru
Kumo ga kireta saki wo
Mitara kitto
Nee, wakaru deshou?
Nee, wakaru deshou?
Kanda looked into the room and saw the moyashi play the piano. He sang in perfect tune to it.
Aimai ni ikiteite mo
Kokoro loga mijuku demo
Sore de ii hora soko ni wa
Daiji na hito ga iru
Kimi ga mayou no nara
Boku ga michishirube ni narou
Ato wa shinjireba ii
Tashikameru sube wa motta
Osore nai de
Hikari atsume sora
Ni hanatte iru
Kimi ni wakaru you ni
Soshite ayumu michi wo
Motto tera sou
Doko made mo…
Doko made mo…
Doko made mo…
Doko made mo…
Kamikoe, kuchi,
Yubisaki he todoke
Ima dake demo ii
Ima dake demo ii"
Then the piano drifted to a slow stop before a coughing fit came from inside. Than the ragged breathing came and Kanda had enough as he busted through the double doors and scoped Allen into his arms. A strangled gasp escaped his mouth before his eye's widened. "K-Kanda! Why are you-" More coughing fits came. It was becoming more frequent now, like the condition was getting worse. "Shut up."
"No I will not Bakanda-" This time, more blood came forth.
Kanda started panicking really bad before taking off in a run. He had a feeling, a feeling that he was going to lose 'his' Aren.
'His'
He hadn't said or thought that in a long, long time. Why? Why didn't he make Allen Walker his?
"Why! I'm not your friend! I'm not your lover! I'm just plain old Allen! The same Allen that you walked away from! The same Allen who admired you! The same Allen who had so many dreams before you crushed them, and shot me down because 'You' were embarrassed to be seen around me!"
Oh yeah, that's why. He was embarrassed to hang out with a freak. A freak that had sliver hair, and a tattoo on his face. It's because people would bully 'Aren' that he didn't want to hang out with him or be seen with him. He should just die. Oh how he hurt the person he loved the most.
Love
Such a strong word it is.
Also, he only went out with her because he wanted to forget all about 'Aren', but he couldn't.
Every day he would see that beautiful face with a sad gentle smile.
His eyes would glaze over as his mind would be on something else.
Sometimes he would look really sick, yet he still came to school.
He wasn't useless.
He was kind.
He was gentle.
He was everything but immature.
Such a beautiful and perfect human being 'Aren' was.
He was-
More coughing came as Kanda snapped out of his thoughts and looked up to see the hospital's door's right within his grasp.
He grabbed the handle as the rain came pouring down.
He yelled at the nurse's.
Help.
He needed help.
Blood
Blood kept on coming and it wouldn't stop.
Doctors
Doctors ran towards him.
They pulled 'Aren' from his grip as he yelled at them.
Security came and held him back.
Then
Then he waited for the boy that he denied for so long.
How he would hope that he could mend his broken heart back together.
Sadly
He 'had' no happy endings.
When Kanda was awakened from his slumber, he was met with a grim face of the doctor.
Kanda's senses went off as he stood and latched on to his shoulders.
"Allen! Is Allen Walker Okay!" The doctor sighed and motioned him to follow.
So Kanda followed.
They stopped in an empty hallway as nurses were running down different halls.
"Allen Walker is dying."
Everything went dead silent.
Kanda couldn't believe what he was hearing.
"You're lying!"
"I'm-"
"Aren can't die on me! I need him! He's- Can't you heal him!"
The doctor nodded.
"Then why aren't you-"
"Allen Walker doesn't want to be healed."
Those words were like a slap to his face.
"W-what!?"
"He doesn't want to be healed. He said that he's suffered enough in this cruel world."
"But you-"
"It's not really our decision. It's his."
"Then what is the dis-"
"It's Pneumonia."
"Then heal-"
"I'm sorry Kanda Yuu, seems like your happy ending won't come true." The doctor said before walking away and then stopping.
He pulled something out of his pocket and threw it a shocked Kanda.
"He wanted you to have that." Then the man walked away.
Kanda opened the envelope and looked in.
It was the golden earing he gave him.
Silent tears came down his face as he looked up with sadness.
Lastly in the envelope was a few simple words.
"I love you Yuu.
And
I'm sorry."
No. He will have a happy ending.
The End.
Maybe a part two. who knows.
(1) Volition- The act of being willing
(2) pessimistic- Having a gloomy outlook at the world
SONG- To You All
BY- Aluto Michi