There are obsessions, fetishes, and needs.

These three boil down to basic, raw human desire.

That's a rather simple way of putting it though. You've never truly experienced the flaming passion of a fangirl, or the twisted delight of a fanboy.

And as a representative and mechanic of the now world-famous Anime Unit Company, I can tell you, I've seen it all.

Day in and day out, I lug these robots, manikins of their favorite anime character, reprogram them, fix their malfunctions, get glomped by grateful fangirls and fanboys who then proceed to glomp their unit.

And so life goes on. The phone rings, the equally horrified and delighted screams of fans piercing my eardrums.

"OH MY GOSH, I LOVE MY DROCELL UNIT, IS IT POSSIBLE TO HAVE HIS CHILDREN?"

"MY ALOIS UNIT JUST GOUGED OUT MY FREAKIN EYE!"

That's lovely. I really needed to know that.

Do they listen to the advice I give them on my User Guides? No.

Which is why I'm currently fixing a MONSTROUS Claude Faustus unit in Spider Demon mode.

And it's licking my face and calling me Ciel. The glowing green clock says 2:36.

I sigh and reach for my phone. The bubbly, cheerful voice of my boss assaults my overly damaged left eardrum.

"OMG, Mizuki! How's the repair going!"

Lick.

"Wonderful."

"Oh, you sound so enthusiastic sweetie! Listen, tomorrow I need you to go fix another three units, and four deliveries!"

"..."

"Mizuki? Hello?"

"I heard you."

"Oh goodie! They're all Grell units, by the way."

"That's great." (Inner voice: "I'm screwed.")

"Well sweetheart, I need to go! Byes!"

Click.

My life officially sucks. To further underline that point, the malfunctioning Claude unit licks my ear. For the 50th time.

...

The moment I step off the train, I'm surrounded by a group of fangirls.

"OMG MY GRELL UNIT IS ACTING LIKE WILLIAM!"

"MY CIEL UNIT'S ACTING HAPPY! IT'S NOT SUPPOSED TO ACT HAPPY!"

What the hell is going on? It seems like all of these units are acting out of character. SERIOUSLY out of character.

My boss may be a genius, but her units are dangerous. Once I had to deal with a guy who decided to hire a Grell unit as a bodyguard. Big mistake. He couldn't stop killing and I had to shoot him with a tranquilizer gun, bring him back to headquarters, and work on his programming for 5 weeks.

"Mizuki-chan?" I turn around and see my friend, Kane, with his William T. Spears unit.

"Kane? It's been a while!" Poor guy. He's a spokesperson for the company and always gets mobbed by angry parents, paparazzi, and "concerned citizens" about the safety of our products.

"Listen...I heard about the situation over here and about the Claude unit you were fixing."

I grimace. "Don't remind me."

"The Claude unit has a virus."

"What?" Kane looks sheepish.

"Umm, well, Boss probably didn't mention this to you-"

"YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT SHE DIDN'T MENTION THIS TO ME!" Kane cringes.

"Well, uh, when she was making the second set of Claude models, she was high-"

"Isn't she always high?"

"Well, this time she was high enough to actually make a deadly virus out of the Claude unit's programming."

"What does it do?"

"It sends the units into out of character mode. The virus turns them into volatile people and they start destroying everything in sight. As far as I know, the virus is only in the Kuroshitsuji series, but if it spreads to other series, like the Katekyo Hitman Reborn or Durarara one..."

Oh my God. "That would be worse than nuclear war."

"Exactly. Unless if you eliminate the Claude unit you fixed yesterday."

"Well, that's easy, I can just go to his owner's house-"

"No can do, Mizuki. He killed her and ran off."

Ah, the short life of an adventurous fangirl. Rest in peace, friend.

"I have his unit I.D. It's number 3583653." Kane grins at me.

"If you have his I.D. that means you can track him down."

I groan. "How the hell am I going to take him down?"

"Use a bazooka?"

"You're an idiot."

And so I head off, already wishing for a lunch break and a bazooka.

NOTE TO MY READERS: This is just an experiment! If you want me to continue, tell me...I personally think there's too much dialogue in this chapter...but eh, it's just a try.