When you fall in love, its never as you expect. You expect sparks to fly and your heart to race. You think "My brave knight will appear and save me from this horrid life.".
But it is never like that….
Love grows slowly, like a grand tree and set root in your heart holding on through even the toughest of times. Even if you fight and think that you can never love again.
When I first met you, I thought you were the most arrogant Human I had ever met. I could not understand why people liked you so much.
Then we were forced to work together. You became my captain and I had to follow your orders. You were always putting yourself in danger. You never thought about yourself.
Every day I watched as you take yourself that little bit closer to death.
I do not know how but watching you do such reckless things made me feel such strange things. I denied them for so long I almost believed it myself. I told myself that it was some stupid prank you were playing on me. That you had set it up, put something in my food.
I was scared, so scared that I was becoming something wrong, someone no one would want. Because…a Vulcan never shows emotion. That's what they always told you as a child.
Now I am sat here crying as I type this. I know you will never read this and that those feelings will never be returned. Who would ever want something broken like me.
I am sorry Jim. I promise I will never ruin your life by telling you my true feelings.
No love is not sparks and racing hearts. Love is painful, it is the hardest thing in the universe. And it never leaves…..