The darkness consumes me, tearing me apart piece by piece. I cannot live, nor come to the conclusion that I'm needed or wanted. But, it's always been 2D, Murdoc, Noodle, and Russel. Not Murdoc, Noodle, and Russel. Gorillaz has alway been four: a lead vocalist, a guitarist, a bassist, a drummer. But now, as I do the inevitable and open this bottle of painkillers, it will be three.Each of you deserve to know why, so you each get separate paragraphs.

Noods, I'm sorry. You don't deserve to see me in the state I'll be in, but I'm in such a terrible state that I have to do this. You came to us in a FedEx crate, but I'm thankful for you. Gorillaz wouldn't have been the same without you. Please, stay strong. You're my best friend, but I hope you don't cry. You'll see me again someday, just hopefully not too soon.

Russ, if you squint, you'll be able to see what good this is doing to me. I'm unhappy and I want to die. Murdoc's right, but don't kill him. I don't deserve happiness. I don't deserve any happiness you or Noodle have given me. Keep her safe, trust me, you'll need to. I love her like a sister.

Murdoc Niccals. You don't deserve a paragraph in this letter, but I'm writing one anyways, because you were right. You were always right, but I had to be right about something. I, Stuart '2D' Pot, had no right to this, but I was in love with you. Yep, you read that right: the faceache was in love with you. I don't know how, or why. Maybe it happened all because of how many times you hurt me. Hell, you almost killed me each time you began wailing on me. But hey, I was in love with you, so I was the dumb one.I'll miss you all, even you, Muds. Say hi to the morning for me.

The piece of paper was found five hours later by Noodle; she had also found 2D laying on his bed, the empty pill bottle on the floor. He looked peaceful.

"Toochie!" Noodle called out. "We're home!" She, Murdoc and Russel had gone out for seven hours since Noodle had wanted to tag along while 2D had stayed back to look over song material.Noodle knocked on the door, but got no answer, so she opened it. The ten year old ran over and poked the blue-haired singer in the face, but the temperature of his pale skin was cold. "Toochie?" she questioned, poking him once more. No response. "Russel-san!" she yelled and Russel ran in. "What is it baby girl?" he asked and Noodle pointed at 2D. "Toochie isn't waking up," she said.

Russel walked around to the other side of the bed, noticing the empty pill bottle and piece of paper. "Noods, go to Muds. I'll be there in a minute."

Russel lifted the singer off of the bed and carried him into the living room before setting him on the sofa.

Murdoc strangely hurt all over after seeing the lifeless figure of 2D. His eyes were shut and his mouth hung slightly open, revealing his missing front teeth. After the note was read, nobody really knew what to feel. Noodle cried. Russel felt confused. Murdoc...he felt, hurt. Hurt that someone he loved and thought had a decent life (apart from his eyes and the constant beatings given to him) would do this. He couldn't fathom why the person he loved the most would do it, though inside, he knew why.

"Why couldn't it 'ave been me? Why Dents and not me?" he cried out to nobody in particular, but thought of what could have been. 2D could have admitted everything but that was a stretch, Murdoc could have finally had something to be happy about.

But sadly, that's not what happened.

[edit: may 17 2017]

i should improve this but i'm not gonna. i know that they're out of character; that's what i intended. i have a specific writing style i'd like to stick to, so sod off.

okay, bye.