"You left her?" His right hand clenched. He had to hit something. Anything. "You left her to fight that thing… alone?"
The Seeker's cheek was pale. She looked ill. "You cannot blame me more than I blame myself." Her voice was hoarse with pain.
Josephine put her hand on his arm. "Commander, please. We all mourn the loss of the Herald."
Not like I do, he thought. His eyes stayed on Cassandra's. "You were there. You were with her. You should not have left her." His whole body trembled with rage. That was the exhaustion. The lyrium addiction. It made everything worse.
"You are right," she said, in a heavy voice. "She told us to go, but I should have stayed with her. I have failed my duty."
"You were in battle," Leliana said quietly. "We must make decisions swiftly in the field. You're not at fault, Cassandra."
"Not the only one at fault, anyway," Cullen all but snarled. He turned on the elf. "And you! What good is your magic if you couldn't even save one person?"
"I regret that I could not do more," Solas said. "The dragon was beyond my abilities. It appeared before we had time to prepare."
He wanted to punch that supercilious elf in the face. Instead his fist made contact with the tree they sheltered under. "Leliana, give me two of your best scouts. I'm going to go look for her."
Cassandra said, "I should go. The fault was mine. Varric and I will search for her."
"Stop it," Leliana said, and her voice rang with authority. "It's too dangerous, and the Inquisition can spare neither of you. Look around. We have people who need us now. They are our first responsibility." She looked at Cullen with compassion. "The Herald gave her life for us. Are we going to throw away her sacrifice with recriminations that threaten to split us apart?"
"We don't know that she's dead," he said. But Leliana was right about one thing: he could not leave his soldiers. Most of Haven had made it out before it was destroyed, thanks to the Herald. Many were wounded. He would need to review the troops, secure escape routes, assign scouts. They would need food, clothing, shelter. A plan.
He had to get used to the idea of life without the Herald.
He would never forgive them for letting her face Corypheus alone.
He would never forgive himself.