Disclaimer: I don't own One Piece.
As a general rule, Perona, Lich, Absalom and Hogback liked to discuss recent events over their coffee.
Or rather, Perona, Absalom and Hogback liked to, as Lich didn't speak much.
Today, however, something rather odd happened. They were all sitting round the table as usual, when Lich piped up and asked an interesting question.
"If you could have any Devil Fruit power, what one would you have?" he asked.
Hogback looked up from his newspaper. "What an odd question. Why do you ask, Lich-sama?"
Lich scratched his chin in though. "Well….I was thinking about Moria-sama and his Devil Fruit power, that allows him to treat shadows as solid objects. Is there anything Devil Fruits can't give you the power to do?"
"I bet they can't turn you into a glue-man." said Absalom.
Perona stared at him. "Why on earth would anyone want to be made of glue? Not only does it take a while to stick things, it's very messy."
"Yes, but you could put someone into a drug-induced trance." answered Lich, sipping his coffee.
"I heard the secret to the power of Devil Fruits is hidden on the Grand Line." said Hogback, scratching his nose.
"That reminds me. Shouldn't Moria-sama be able to take shadows with his Devil Fruit power alone? Why the hell does he need a pair of scissors?" asked Lich.
"And if you stab a piece of Seastone into a Devil Fruit, does it cancel out the power?"
"I guess we'll never know." replied Absalom.
"Anyway, I still think the glue-man thing is a ridiculous idea." said Perona snobbishly.
"In Hildon's case, he could be a vampire without Hogback's help. He could have eaten a Vampire Devil Fruit."
"Hildon? Knowing him, he'd probably have eaten a 'Total Creep' Devil Fruit, judging by the way he leers at everyone." replied Absalom.
"You guys still haven't answered my question."
"Well…." said Hogback, clearly thinking, "I suppose I'd have a Devil Fruit power that allowed me to actually win the lottery. A Luck Fruit."
"I'd have a power that gave me the ability to touch shadows, like Moria-sama's." said Lich.
"I'd have a Devil Fruit that made me irresistible to any woman." said Absalom, right before Lich hit him over the head. "Damn perv. What about you, Perona-chan?"
Perona thought about it for a while. "I….would probably have an ability that allowed me to generate coffee whenever I want, so we could always have interesting talks like this."
"Devil Fruit Coffee?" said Absalom, snickering, right before Perona literally pounced on him.
A/N: Like it? I just thought it up this morning, at time of writing.