THE CHILDREN
Angel sat at the window watching the rain continue to fall steadily as it had done the whole of the day. It was cold and miserable and the fact that Craig and the guys had been gone for almost a week did nothing to cheer her up. She missed them , it was that simple , they drove her crazy when they were here, but the silence they left behind when they were gone made her realize how lonely she was without them.
It had been over a month since they had watched the devastation in the village and she knew it had hit them hard and Goniff still had nightmares sometimes , she knew that too. They had refused any help the army had offered them , none of them wanted to talk to a psychiatrist or priest, not wanting to admit that they could be so affected by what happened. Or for anyone to think that they were a little crazy, instead they talked eventually to Craig and each other and they found that the guilt and grief they shared , when talked about eased a little for each of them. They had all been round to see her, mainly to make sure that she had forgiven them and that they were once again welcome in her home. She knew that they needed her help, and they came to talk to her when there was no-one else they trusted with their secrets , knowing that anything they said to her would stay only with her, and she watched each of them grieve for the children they couldn't help in their own way . She listened to them pour out their thoughts and feelings she hoped that this helped them in some small way to cope with the grief they were all still feeling and that would remain with them for a long time. They were learning to trust Craig again and he had promised that there would be no more secrets , and they were again the team that the army needed , the special unit that Craig was so proud of. As she sat alone she wished with all her heart that she had someone to tell her secrets too, a friend that she could talk to and trust as they trusted her.
It had been so hard the last weeks to try and pretend that she did not know how Craig felt about her. Things had changed between then and she didn't know the best thing to do to make everything right again. They were both trying so hard to keep things normal and in doing that they were making a mess of their lives. There were times when neither one of them knew what to say , times when they felt uneasy and awkward with each other , and the feelings that they had for each other had changed and she didn't know how to deal with that. All she was sure of was that they could not keep pretending that nothing had happened, or that she did not know how he felt about her.
Before they had just been so comfortable with each other , she had felt nothing but sisterly love as she would hug him or kiss his cheek . But now she had stopped doing these things in case he read something into them that wasn't there ,she had become wary of him , and with these actions she knew that she was losing the brother she loved more than life itself, and she didn't know what to do to get things back to the way they were. She had distanced herself from him, something that had not gone un-noticed by Actor , who so wanted to help both of them. She would not talk to him. Refusing his offer of councillor, telling him it was not right to put him in the middle of their trouble, not wanting him to have the problem of having to choose between them some day. She knew in her heart they could not go on this way, that they were going to have to sit down and work out the problems that they had, but she didn't know where to start, didn't know how to let him down gently and tell him that she could never love him the way he loved her, and the main reason being she was now and always would be in love with David. She sighed , oh how she wished she had never heard him say `I love you`.
She was at the mansion the following morning when she was told that they were on their way home. She got all her paperwork done and as much ready for Craig to just sign as she could ,so he could get the rest she was sure that he needed as much as the rest of them did. As she heard the lorry pull outside she started to cook their breakfast, and they all came in to say good morning and tell her that they were all ok. They ate in relative silence , and then as they did start to talk to her , she knew that things were not all right .
As much as they smiled at her , she saw that it was forced , and that the smiles never reached their eyes as it had done before the massacre. They were trying so hard to deal with their feelings ,but she was sure now that they were not doing as well as they wanted her to believe, and that every time they went on a mission the memory went with them. At the moment they were lucky, but she was sure that some day soon the memory would surface at just the wrong time and one or more of them would be injured because their thoughts had been somewhere other than on the job. Losing the children had affected them, and their ability to do their jobs more than any one of them would care to admit, or possibly even realized.
They finished eating , thanked her and went to their room, and she knew she wouldn't see them for the rest of the day, unless Goniff woke again with the nightmares.
She followed Craig to his office. He sat behind his desk and ran his fingers through his hair, a sure sign that he was worried about something.
` You all right? She asked
`Yeah fine Angel`. He answered
`You never could lie to me , you know , so why not just tell me the truth and get straight to the point , and let me help if I can`. She said.
He smiled sadly , and looked at her .
`Things aren't right`, he said `Their focus has gone, specially Goniff, and I don't know what to do to put things right for them`.
`Just them? She asked
He shook his head.
`No , not just them, sometimes all I see is that village , and I'm afraid that I'm going to let my concentration slip ,and get them killed`. He said `Can't seem to shake this Angel , and I can't see an end to it. I know we couldn't have stopped it , but that doesn't take the guilt away , I still feel that there should have been something that we could have done`,
`You have to stop this doubt, you know there was nothing that you could have done that wouldn't have resulted in you all getting killed, and that would have helped no-one`. She told him
`I know ,. He said sadly
`Maybe you should just concentrate on the people that you have been able to save. The good that you have all done on these missions, the hundreds of lives you've saved with all the information you've managed to get back here`, she said `Surely that must count for something.
`All that's just papers Angel`, he said `and there are no faces to put to those jobs. Right now all we're seeing is the one job that we failed at that meant the most, all we see is the horror and it won't go away , not for any of us.`
`I wish there was something that I could do to help you all`, she said sadly putting her arms round him as she had always done.
`You do help honey , he said,` just being here for us helps more than you could ever imagine, even if right now we don't show it much, you're being here makes a big difference`.
He put his head in his hands.
`Forget the paperwork`, she said you need rest now more than anything,`
`You're right , I'm dead on my feet right now, I'll take a quick shower and then get my head down for a while `.he said
He stood up , held her hands and kissed her cheek,
`Thanks Angel , from all of us`.
She let go and walked into his arms an hugged him, knowing at that moment it was what he needed the most.
`Anytime , little brother ,` she said
He held her tighter , needing to feel that he was not alone .
`Look why don't you take your shower ? and I'll go and make us some fresh coffee and come back and keep you company for a while,` she said,` but no paperwork, ok?
He smiled at her, `I'd like that,` he said
`Good , then I'll be back in ten minutes , ` she said smiling, `so don't just stand there , move Lt.
`Yes Ma'am `. He said, and headed for the bathroom.
They were having breakfast the following day when Craig came in with their mail. Handing them out they saw that he still had one letter in his hand.
`This one is for all of us`, he said. `It's an invitation to a Birthday party`.
`Who'd want to invite all of us? Asked Casino.
`Lucy Emmett, at the orphanage`, said Craig.
He looked at Chief.
`You remember the teddy bears? he asked.
Chief looked puzzled , but nodded.
`Well you're little girl , Susie , is five next week and apparently all she wants for her birthday is Uncle Chief`.
The others laughed
`Hey Chiefy, you got an admirer `, laughed Casino
`So I take it I can call Lucy and tell her you'd all like to go ? He asked
`I suppose so,` said Chief smiling. `If that's what she wants, can't let her down, I promised her all she had to do was ask and I'd help her . Have to keep that promise now don't I?`
`Absolutely. `replied Craig
` So what about you Actor? Craig asked. `You ready to go back?
`Actor nodded , `I think it is a wonderful idea`. He said
`Ain't you gonna ask us then Warden `, said Goniff excitedly.
Craig looked from Goniff to Casino
`Didn't think I had to , I've never known either one of you to turn away free food, and as you both behaved like children last time we were invited , you should fit in very nicely`, he said .
`Huh`, they both said together
`Right , I'll arrange a twenty four hour pass for you so you can get Birthday presents and anything else you think you might like to donate to a party , so stay out of trouble , all right .`he said.
`What he got in return was the first real smiles that he had seen for weeks.
When Craig told Angel about the party later that day the too was smiling.
`Looks like this is going to do you all good`, she said
`I think it might be just what we need Angel`, he said
`So , when are you going to London to get you present then? She asked , and can I hitch a ride?
`They get back tomorrow, so I've left instructions for the Sgt. Major to jeep them busy for the day , and I'm taking the day off`. He said
`So you want to pick me up? She asked
`See you at nine sharp and might just treat you to lunch, you never know`. He said smiling
`Well you owe me enough lost lunches , it's about time you started to pay up`, she said `See you tomorrow, and don't be late`, she said
`Me? Never he told her`, and she walked away laughing.
The idea came to her later that evening. It would take some working out , but with a little help from Major Freeman , she was sure they could pull it off.
Yes the more she thought about it , the better it sounded.
She rang the Major , told him her plan and what she needed , and arranged to meet him the following day , all she had to do now was come up with a good reason for not going to London with Craig.
The Major fixed that by calling Craig and telling him that he had something important to discuss with her and would she stop by and see him at her earliest convenience.
So they went to London together , and then arranged to have lunch after she had seen the Major.
Craig had the feeling that she was up to something , but couldn't for the life of him work out what.
Never mind , he had far more important things to do than worry about Angel, he had to figure out what to get a five year old for her Birthday , and seeing what the others had already bought her , this was not going to be one of his easiest missions.
As they set off to drive to the orphanage Craig was still mad at Angel.
No-matter how often he asked she would still not tell him what the Major had wanted to see her about. All she would tell him was that he would find out eventually . The rest of the guys were just excited to be going out to see the kids again, at least the ones that were still at the home. Casinio's little boy had been adopted just like Rachel , but he was sure that he would find someone else to spoil for the day , so although he was a little disappointed , he was not going to let it spoil his day.
As they pulled up outside they were surprised to see so many adults . They thought that there would just be the staff from the home and the children.
Craig thought he saw a face he recognised , but couldn't for the moment place, but as Lucy Emmett came to greet them he thought no more about it.
As they rounded the corner into the garden Casino heard his name called and a pair of arms wrapped themselves round his knees .
`Danny? Hey you've grown man `, he yelled to the little boy, thought you'd been adopted`. he said.
`I was , my new mummy and daddy brought me to see you , and Susie`.
`Oh that's just great man . Come on and tell me all about your new home, ok?
Casino and Danny wandered off as did the rest of the guys with their respective children, all of whom it seemed had gathered for the party. Susie especially had been glad to see Chief, and had hugged him and insisted on riding on his shoulders just like before , and as Angel looked on she saw some of the joy they had lost in their lives start to return. These children might just be the therapy that the guys needed.
She stood next to Actor.
Looks like we've been left on the shelf now doesn't it? She asked smiling.
Actor looked at her
`I have to admit to being I little envious. But I am glad that Rachel had a good home to go to , I know that she will be loved and that is all that matters`, he said
A voice behind him said, laughingly` I am so very glad you approve of us`.
Actor turned and was almost knocked down by the banshee that hurled herself at him and yelled his name.
`Rachel ? ` he said
`My mummy and daddy said I could come and see you , I'm going to have a baby brother , I've been sooo good , and mummy says I can help her , and there are lots of animals where I live , and I have a sheep all of my own , and a new granny and grandpa , oh Uncle Actor I'm so happy to see you , will you push me on the swing?
Actor held back the tears , as Rachel hugged him once more and the took his hand and led him to the swings in the garden.
`Thank you so much for bringing her here , ` said Angel `,that's the first real smile I've had from him in weeks`,
`Well there wasn't anything else we could do after you explained what they had all been through, and you were right, they do need these children, and the love they give them.
`They just needed reminding that there have been good things happening in their lives too , seeing the children will hopefully remind them.
`Well looking at them now, I don't doubt that for one minute `, said Helen Blake, `I don't know which of them are having the most fun.
Angel looked in the direction Helen was pointing and saw five grown up children laughing and playing , and looking happier than she had seen them for a long time.
For the rest of the afternoon they played games and as it got darker retreated into the house for a magician and games . As they sat there watching their children sitting on the floor laughing they saw the group of adults standing behind them talking to Angel. All at once Casino, Chief and Goniff all had a bouncing baby dropped into their laps.
`Hey! What's this ?asked Casino
Angel looked at them with their squirming infants
`What ? You mean you don't recognize them after you carried them half way across Germany, now that does surprise me .
Chief looked at he babies and then at Goniff and Casino
`Hey , they're our kids`. He yelled
`Naw can't be `, said Goniff
`They are , they're our kids`, said Casino.
Craig stood up , now realizing where he had seen the face from earlier in the day.
He held out his hand. `Nice to see you again Dr. ` he said
`I had to come and thank you again for returning my son, it meant the world to me,
Craig looked at the babies.
`They've all grown some in the last six months , haven't they`, he asked smiling at his men and their charges.
`My son will be one year old in a couple of months, as will the others , we suspect. We gave them all the same birthday , as we do not really know how old they are , and they will spend it together whenever we can arrange it`. He said. `They will be told as soon as they are old enough to understand , what you and your men did for them. How you saved them, risked your lives to bring them to England, it is something that I will always be grateful for. `he said . `You gave me back my family.`
Goniff yelped . `Hey this time he really as got a tooth`, he said
`The woman behind Goniff laughed .`Actually he has a whole lot of teeth now and uses everyone of them when he gets the chance, always hungry , that one. `
This brought hoots of laughter from the others
`Yeah that ones Goniff's no doubt about it`, said Casino
`Big little lad ain't he ? Said Goniff proudly
`My name is Alice, she said ` and you are holding my most precious gift, we called him Ian , after my father , I hope you like it , she said, `I just wanted to thank you for taking care if him so well, and if you would like I'll send pictures of him to you from time to time to let you know how he's getting on. We owe you so much`, she said
Goniff flushed with pride and embarrassment.
Chief looked at the woman standing behind him.
`The same goes for me, that's if you'd like me to`, she said
`That would be great, `said Chief smiling . `What's his name? he asked her
`His is Alec and mine's Gwen , she said , `and thank you so much for what you did for him, he is so much a part of our lives now I cannot imagine my life without him. She smiled at Chief
`I will always be in your debt, thank you again`,
Chief blushed too, and turned to look at his kid.
An Army Lt. walked up to the Dr. and whispered in his ear.
`Seems I have to go now,` he said,` Not quite sure how she managed to pull enough strings to get us here in the first place , but I am really glad she did, and if I may I too would like to keep in contact with you and your men`, he said
Craig shook his hand, `That would be most welcome Dr. you have no idea how much this has meant to us , it is us that should be thanking you for taking the time to bring your children here today`, he said, `It has been just what we needed.`
`I have been a part of this was also Lt. remember ? I have seen the senseless killing and the destruction it causes. But just remember for every bad thing that happens, there is also a good thing. Do not let the bad out weigh the good , or it will destroy you. God Bless you and keep you all safe gentlemen, he said and the parents retrieved their babies and were escorted out by their drivers with a lot of waving and goodbyes and promises to keep in touch.
Angel walked the families to their waiting cars.
`Thank you all so much for coming, you really have saved their lives today, given them back the hope that they had lost, I owe you so much`. She said
`We hadn't any choice after what you told us they had been through. No one should have to see the things they saw and then still have to carry on as normal, it's just impossible`, Gwen said
`Well now , hopefully they will have better memories to focus on, and I promise I will send you the pictures Angel, make sure they get them , won't you? Said Alice
`Oh trust me , they will nag my life out every week from now on, not that they're really interested you understand`, she laughed
`Yes I can see that `, said the Dr. laughing
`Well good luck with them, they are lucky to have you to take care of them,` he said.
`Would you believe me if I told you that it was the other way round? She asked
`Actually yes`, he said
`Goodbye Angel and take care of yourself and them `, he said
And as she watched them drive away she said `I will Dr. I will`.
As she entered the house Craig was waiting for her
`You want to tell me how on earth you pulled that off? He asked. `Not that I'm complaining you understand , cos it's helped them so much`,
`Major Freeman did most of the organizing, I just told him what I wanted and what he had to do to get them back up to speed, very understanding man ! She laughed.
Craig smiled
`He's fought the war too , knows what it can do, realized that they just needed to know that they'd done some good stuff too. Besides he saw them with the kids when they got back, just seemed the sensible thing to do , you know give them back something positive to think about and look forward too , because those photos will come you know , from all the parents.` she said
`You want to go back to the party ? He asked .
`Probably be a good idea `, she said` After all someone has to keep an eye on the children`.
``I thought that was what Lucy was here for`, he said
`No not her children, she laughed , `Ours `. And she pointed to the room in front of them.
Chief was racing round the room with Susie on his shoulders, while Casino and Goniff both had their children on their backs and were having horse races and Actor was sitting with Rachel and her dolls having a tea party of their own.
Craig looked at her `Haven't seen them this relaxed for a long time `, he said
`What about you? Are you feeling any better about things? She asked
`I feel better knowing that they're all right , takes some of the worry away,` he smiled `Thanks Angel this was a great idea, think it might just have saved us all, he said
`Talking of saving, she said, `I think we ought to go and rescue our eldest`, she said laughing
Actor was sitting at the small table with Rachel, and looking decidedly uncomfortable, as she had decided that it wasn't only her dolls that needed dressing up.
Craig laughed
`Well as head of the family , I think you should go`, he said` taking one step backwards , just in case she decides that I would look good in a flowery hat too. `
He laughed , bowed and ushered her into the room.
He watched as she joined the tea party and having commented on how the hat suited Actor asked if she could try it on. giving Actor the cowboy hat instead.
He watched all of them in turn, and felt for the first time since the murders that they were all thinking of something else, and that from now on they could think about the children they had saved rather than the children they had lost, and he knew now at last that they would all be all right .
He felt a tug at his trouser leg. `Uncle Craig?
He looked down into Louisa's sweet face.
`Yes honey what can I do for you ? He asked kneeling down
`Can we have a tea party like Rachel? She asked
All of a sudden the worry came back, and he looked across at Angel, who was smiling sweetly at him, and waving her policeman's helmet at him
He looked at Louisa who smiled innocently at him,
`I've brought you a hat`. She said