If you believe in God, you probably believe in heaven and hell. You learn to accept the fact that some people will be going to hell and you work to stop yourself from heading south yourself. (I mean the fire and brimstone place not Arkansas.) I never really thought that anyone who writes a fanfiction is horrible enough (at least from the story content) to go to hell until I heard of…DAGR. Allow my to fully type that out. So that you may understand exactly how disgusting some Invader Zim fans really are, DIB (as in the twelve year old) AND GAZ (as in the ten year old sibling of Dib) ROMANCE! Ew! That's why the first chapter in my amazing return is dedicated to those sick bastards.

Illegal

And for a reason

A sibling Romance (ew!)

Dib sat at his desk typing up a new report about Zim. His eyes ached from staring at the screen for the hours he had been sitting there. They seemed to burn and water with every blink. He lifted his glasses and rubbed his sore eyes. Dib muttered something about needing a break, his voice cracking.

"Maybe I'll see what Gaz is up to." He mumbled. Suddenly a cold chill shot down the child's spin. His whole body shuttered violently, "Oh God…" he said, his eyes wide and his skin paler than usual, "Something just wrong is about to happen." He cringed, "I think god is angry!"

Well, of course, since this is a fan fiction conceived by Satan himself, he had no choice but to ignore the premonition and head down the hall. His legs shook as he slowly stumbled down stairs. The circulation weakly returned to Dib's numb legs. Maybe he shouldn't sit at his computer without moving for more than fourteen hours. His legs gave out and the top-heavy kid tumbled down smacking his face on every step.

"OW! Oh! Eee! Yargh!" he cried out as he toppled down. Finally he landed on his back at the bottom of the steps staring up at the ceiling with his glasses cracked and half off his face. He moaned quietly in the pain that he would find out that was a ramification of karma from future amoral acts.

"What happened to you?" a voice asked more curios than concerned. Dib slowly fixed his glasses, his arms feeling like heavy weights…that were painful, painful weights. (A/N: I haven't written a Fanfic in like a month or two give me a break I'm doing the best I can. I don't even know how to induce the…badness that is to come. I'm trying the best I can. Sort of.) Gaz was standing over him holding a can of poop soda. There's something wonderful about a soda honest about its quality. Her eyes were narrowed with her brow furrowed, as always, and her lips were set in to a grim frown. Her purple hair was curled perfectly with the tips upturned around her cheeks.

Dib blinked, his mouth agape. Maybe it was the conk to the head or maybe it was that he's always been a sick freak but at that moment Gaz looked…beautiful. (A/N: gags, then vomits all over the person who came up with the idea.) He slowly pulled himself into a sitting position on the stairs. His eyes were wide, like he had been hypnotized or something.

"Gaz…" he said in a breathy voice staring at her exquisitely pretty features. She was so beautiful, her hair so soft looking and her glare was dazzling or other incesty gross thoughts.

"Hey Gaz could you come here a sec?" he said patting the step next to him. She raised an eyebrow but still sat down, "What?" he twitched. Some thing dark controlling him made the twelve year old leaned forward and make a move on his own flesh and blood sister. Her eyes popped open when she saw his leaning in with his lips puckered. She took her soda can and crushed it into the side of his head. Dib's face smashed it to the steps cracking the wood. She stood up and glared down at him with open eyes, "Something has gone horribly wrong in your head."

"But…but…" he said reaching up his hand unable to see that she had already walked away on the count of the blood dripping into his eyes from the head wound, "I love you!" sadly. This story was so disturbingly wrong that the universe could not handle it. It promptly imploded after those three words escaped Dib's mouth.

THE END OF THE UNIVERSE….

A/N: Don't worry people the universe will reset itself in a few days when I update. I don't know if this chapter was really funny. I mean up to the standards I set in the last story but I was so sickened I had to write this so that the world (you count as the world) would projectile vomit along side me at the thought of this abomination of creation. I keep mentioning puke. I shall stop now. And ask that you review, though try not to be too harsh I bruise easily. But seriously a story of DAGR does exist. I was mentioning me writing parodies to a friend on the net and accidentally typed, "DAGR" and she was like, "yeah those are gross! I actually read one and flamed it." And I'm all "they exist!" and she's like, "Uh huh." And then the monkeys attacked and I was all "Oh my god! They've got Timmy's leg!" and they…wait…what's going on? I'm so confused. I think I'll go take a nap. Farewell reader.