Inside a snowflake, like the one on your sleeve

There blossomed a plan to aggrieve and deceive

The Whos down in Whoville had mended their ways

Recalled the true meanings of their holidays

But one in the valley would never recant

He thrived on facades; the star role and a rant

With the holidays coming he needed a ruse

To regain what he'd lost and make headliner news

…..

"C'mon, kid, work with me here! The McGufferson's inflatable snowman display looks like it was crapped out by a rotting Jack-O-Lantern a decade ago. You know every other Who in town would breathe a sigh of relief if it just thumpity thump-thumped away. No Who will ever know Whodunnit."

Cindy-Lou Who smiled so wide her front teeth stuck out, and giggled with such a bright, genuine glee that it banished, for a few seconds, the winter chill. The Grinch forcefully maintained a grim scowl and crossed arms.

"No, Mr. Grinch, I'd know where it ran off to."

"And you'd snitch, eh? Is that what you are, a dirty rotten snitch?"

Her eyes crinkled shut as she laughed. "Nope, I'm a sparkly clean snitch. Washed this morning. But you smell like onions from all the way over there."

"Don't you go talking smack about my onions. Someday you're going to get scurvy, little lady. Scurvy! Then you'll start talking about fish swimming in your head and all your teeth will rot and fall out, then we'll see who's laughing about onions."

She was in gales now, wheezing as she clutched her stomach. The Grinch's nose twitched, ever so slightly, as he fought valiantly to keep his glare in place.

Beside their table, traffic puttered along in a merry little bumper-to-bumper train of sickeningly polite turn-taking drivers calling out, "No, I insist, after you!" over their windshields and out their side windows. The café was close enough to the street that the Grinch kept one eye on the crawling buggies at all times. It wasn't unheard of for some old geezer to go off on too much eggnog and forget that cars didn't mix well with sidewalks.

Still, this was the only place in town that would properly burn eggs and toast for him on request. The shops had one shot each to get it right, and Fardelane's had won the dubious honor of the Grinch's patronage.

Plus they made, according to CindyLou, "the best hazelnut cocoa" she'd ever had in her life. The full ten years of it.

"So where's Max?" CindyLou wiped her eyes. "He usually comes down with you."

"Lazybones wouldn't budge. Whined about it being too cold today. He's getting to be an old geezer." The Grinch shifted. It hadn't just been today, though. The Grinch made a mental note to re-stuff Max's bed with fresh fluff and track down some Max-sized blankets. "Just because he's being a lump doesn't mean I'm allowed to miss my appointments."

"Aww, I'm sorry. I would have come up with your order if I knew."

He fiddled with the rubber mask on his lap. Part of him warmed to the gesture she ritually extended, the offer that he didn't have to come down here at all. It was the part of himself that caught Whos staring or averting their eyes, even now, and heard a wake of whispers spread out behind him every time he came to town. The burlap robe and mask helped some, but by now everyone knew what his disguise looked like.

The rest of him refused to let Whoville win like that. He had a best friend down here and a few other Whos to see and, occasionally, stores to visit. He was going to carve a space out here for himself. He was The Grinch and he would outlast every stare until he was just another face in the crowd.

Besides, CindyLou shouldn't have to dig into her allowance to foot the bill.

"Nah. Don't stew on it too long. That's how you get wrinkles." He leaned back, cracking his neck. Out of the corner of his eye, he caught sight of Augustus MayWho nearby, crunched over the steering wheel of his car, looking distinctly un-merry. Curling his lip, the Grinch raised his voice. "Lots and loooots of wrinkles. And gray hair. And then you have to curl all that gray hair so until you delude yourself that you look dignified instead of decrepit. And you have to get all kinds of cream and skin straightemabobers so you can look FAB-U-LOUS."

CindyLou giggled again, probably picturing herself as an old biddy. Augustus, on the other hand, directed an icy glare at their table.

The Grinch smirked, ducked a hand below the table, where CindyLou couldn't see, and waggled his middle finger at Augustus.

"I think I'd like gray hair," CindyLou declared. "I'd wear it just like I do now. Long braids and belltop. I'll have gold hair most of my life, a change will be nice at some point."

The Grinch rolled his eyes, drawing his hood up as the waiter approached. "Don't change too much, kid. I gotta be able to recognize you from time to time. Ah, Jeeves." He swept the cast-iron table with his sleeve, gesturing to the emptiness. "Five minutes slow again, old man? This will be noted in your file and docked from your vacation days. Thank you."

The server, a young man with a face too long for his age, wrinkled his nose and set down a fragrantly steaming mug of hot chocolate and a plate of blackened toast and brown, crunchy eggs and then stood there, arms crossed.

The Grinch shooed him off with his lengthy green fingers. "You are dismissed, my good man. Be off." He frowned. "Be gone. Be… be merry. Be-leave?" He glanced at Cindy. "He isn't leaving. Where's the buzz off button?"

Cindy looked to be swallowing a smile. "I think this is about last time. The banana peel."

The Grinch groaned. "Oh come on! That was high quality rotten peel, perfectly acceptable trade goods in any barter based society."

The server inclined his head.

"I tell you, that peel was worth its weight in gold."

The server lifted one eyebrow.

"Fine," The Grinch snapped, digging in his cloak. "Worth its weight in silver. Think fast." He flicked a ring at the server, who staggered back and fumbled to catch it. "Real silver, worth a decent meal in peace at the very least. Now scram."

It was truly criminal what the residents of Whoville still threw away. That morning he'd found a delicate silver ring set with blue stones. One of many discarded heirlooms or unwanted reminders he collected from the dump. He could probably swap all his loot for a house in the valley. He'd considered it once or twice. He could see the kid more often and maybe Martha May too. Maybe give it another shot with her. Try to learn to be more sociable…

A shudder passed from his gut up his spine and ended at the base of his skull. He could never live among the Whos. He could barely walk through their town without flipping out. Granted, they'd gotten better about the whole fake holiday spirit thing, but it wasn't what you'd call a 180 turn. Even if they were trying, their garbage still told a different story. He couldn't stomach the two faced-ness of them all.

Only the kid was really safe so far. So, come snow or hail or blinding sleet, he made his way down from Mount Crumpit once a week to share a meal and once a week she took the trash tube up to his dumping grounds to visit. There was just no reason to mess with that and no point in getting a house down here when the only person who was ever truly happy to see him was also perfectly content to take the trash chute up.

"Why do you do that?"

"Eh?" The Grinch glanced back at CindyLou, who watched him as if unsure of something.

"Why do you leave without paying for real sometimes?"

He opened his mouth to spout off about overpaid Whos and corporate franchise sellouts and a dozen other buzzwords that had nothing to do with the situation at all, when his conscience whinged.

He hated this. Most of the time he did whatever he wanted and it was fine, but every now and then there was a little tic. A little nag. A little you-know-darn-well-that-wasn't-justified. Sometimes he could brush it off, but the presence of CindyLou often magnified a gut-twinge into a full fledged conscience-whinge.

"Well… now… see here… Lou!" The Grinch bolted to his feet, overturning his chair. "Lou my main man! My good buddy! My… compadre…" he hurried to intercept CindyLou's father at the seating entrance. Friendly words sat in his mouth all wrong and clattered out awkwardly, but he'd rather face a rabid slognogger than the kid's solemn-eyed question so he pumped Lou's hand. "Did we run long? I told Jeeves—I mean the waiter—that we were on the tightest of schedules but does he listen? Of course not. The kid's cocoa is probably lukewarm to boot. Five percent tip day, I tell ya."

"Yes, yes, of course," Lou mumbled, scanning the road next to them. "If she needs a few more minutes, no hurry, no hurry." Lou brought his eyes around to meet the Grinch's. "Actually I had a question for you."

The Grinch blinked, coughing to cover his surprise. Lou barely talked to him. He'd always been the quiet kid in the corner, neither friendly nor aggressive toward him in school. Even after the whole Christmas Theft incident, Lou didn't have much to say to the Grinch beyond perfunctory greetings when picking up or dropping off CindyLou. Whatever he had to say now would probably have to do with CindyLou.

The Grinch swallowed back a knot of anxiety, covering with a slick layer of sarcasm. "Oh? What is it, have I been keeping the kid too long? Did she get a bruise from the garbage chute? Slip on a slimy celery stick and knock her noggin?" Maybe she did get a bruise. Maybe Lou wanted to stop the whole visiting thing. Maybe—

"Do you really keep everything? CindyLou says your cave is full of… well, everything."

That wasn't what he'd expected. The Grinch scratched his armpit absently. "What kind of everything? I salvage the best outta the trash but even I don't have room for the encyclopedic volume of delightful detritus your city discards."

"Do you remember the notes in your locker? Back in school."

His spine stiffened one vertebrate at a time, giving him an extra full inch on the rather hunched mailman. "What. About. The notes?"

Lou lifted his hands hastily. "It wasn't me! It was never me, but I saw Augustus slip them in your locker all the time—and, I mean, you knew it was him too, it was pretty obvious—and, well…" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled square of paper, faded red. Black marker scrawled across it in curvy script, and as the Grinch took the note and smoothed it out he read, The road to hell is paved with altruism. I'll drag her there myself.

"Wh… no. Naw, Lou, you've been licking too many stamps." The Grinch chuckled. "Did you really get your light-up boxers in a twist over this? Lou…" The Grinch ducked his head closer. "Augustus was a giant smelly hole of a butt." He sighed as Lou flinched. "Pardon. But he just mocked. He took cracks about green and hair and compared me to various animals. The worst he ever did was shove me a step back once or twice. This," he chuckled, waving the paper. "This doesn't sound like him. Actually, it doesn't even sound like a real Who. It sounds like some Who's pitiful attempt to sound scary."

"But there's a lot more. They've been coming every few days in my mailbox, and I didn't deliver it and I can never catch who leaves them. And they're all this unsettling. Some of them more so. I just…" He shrugged.

"If they flip your flopper so bad, why don't you take 'em all down to Officer Yoo Who?"

"I did. He said the same as you, it's some harmless prank being pulled by high school kids that want to be scary and mysterious, and that five years ago the same thing happened to Old Man Dowler-Who. Look, are you saying you didn't keep the notes?"

The Grinch glanced down at the paper. "I didn't. Crawled up that mountain with just the clothes on my back. But my old biddies might have kept things. I'll swing by sometime and see if it's a match."

Lou's shoulders relaxed and the lines in his face loosened. "Thanks ever so much. And…" He peeked over the Grinch's shoulders, rising up to his tip-toes. "I'd appreciate it if you didn't mention this to Cindy. I don't want her to worry about this. I'm sure everything can be settled amicably and she doesn't have to hear about this."

The Grinch tucked the paper into his robe. "Yeah. I'm sure. I'll be in touch. My people will call your people, chief. The Grinch is on the case." He saluted bombastically. Turning his head, he called over his shoulder, "Time for this ample helping of green eggs and ham to split, little missy. Overdue to restuff Max's bed. Same time, two days, my place!"

With that, he took a running start and leaped over their table—snatching the charcoaled toast-and-eggs with one hand—and landed on the hood of a car. Never pausing, he followed the line all the way to the intersection, stepping on back seats, Who heads, and car hoods along the way. The yelps and horns below him synched with his steps in a symphony that only ended once he leaped into a side alley. He would come back into town and hang with his old biddies later in the week. He'd definitely need Max as a buffer to absorb some of their sickeningly attentive adoration.

He swung a leg into the garbage can at the end of the alley and paused glancing back at the opening. The cars now honked off and on down the line, and a few Whos were shouting unfriendly words. He grinned. Whoville managed to be a somewhat tolerable place at times. Things would improve as time wore away the fakery and faded the facades everywho had cultivated for so long. Who knew, by the time CindyLou graduated, maybe he could come down without the mask. That would be great.

He slapped the DumpitToCrumpit button and slipped into the chute for his bumpy ride home.

…..

Note: Some of you will recognize the title of this fic. Burlap & Silk is a fic I wrote and then abandoned five years ago. I had written myself into a corner and no longer knew how to conclude. Looking back, I didn't feel I'd earned the plot points I wanted to keep, and others made absolutely no sense. For these reasons, I felt very stuck and the best I could do was leave it at a point where the protagonists were no longer in mortal danger. I'm still not entirely sure where I would take it from that point, but I may have a better idea once I've weeded out issues I dislike from the previous version. Welcome to the Revised and Rewritten edition of Burlap & Silk. There will be no GrinchXCindyLou shipping in this fic, just like before. Thank you for your patience. Last note, if anyone really really really really wants the old version for comparison or nostalgic reasons or whatever, PM me with your email and I will email you the word doc with the super old version.