Hi everyone! I've decided to go back to my original love, COMEDIC FANFICS! Ok, so I bring you the first in hopefully a long line of short fics.
The Stupid Short Fanfic. . .
. . .in which someone gets pawned.
It was a bright, cheery day in Airyglyph castle in the middle of summer. The birds were chirping happily outside and the sound of merchants selling their goods to the public drifted into the many open windows. The heavenly scent of fresh baked bread came from the kitchens, and the castle itself was full of movement and life.
This annoyed Albel the Wicked very much. So much that he felt that he needed a good walk in the almost empty dungeons to wash off all of the happiness. Of course, the fact that there weren't any people in the dungeons to taunt and terrify only lowered his spirits even more, if that was humanly possible. Finally, a little girl, no more than eight or so, was skipping his way twisting flowers around the poles of the cells. 'A perfect victim' Albel thought, although his pride was sure to take a beating later.
"Watch it, fool," he growled.
"Shut up, lum porker!" she said happily. Albel was astounded! Where did the girl learn such language? And who in their right mind would call him, the great and terrible Albel the Wicked, such a name? He knocked her against the cell and grabbed her throat with his clawed arm.
"What did you say, maggot!" he snarled into her ear.
"Oh, PLEASE! You can drop the act now, you old piece of moldy dish soap! Everyone here knows that you're a washed up has-been trying to follow in the footsteps of your great father! At least, that's what Uncle Vox said. . ." she replied while slipping free of his grasp. "I bet you have a really girly middle name too. I bet your middle name is. . .JANICE!" she braided some of the flowers into the back of his braids while singing.
"Albel Janice NOX
eats his dirty SOCKS
thinks Fayt really ROCKS
has no but-TOCKS
tried to erf a FOX
drinks loogies he HOCKS
has a thing for JOCKS
sucks male soldier's-"
With one quick move, her head was his. Her face was still smiling, still taunting him, but he didn't care. He threw it in a cellar and locked it up.
"Stupid worm. How did SHE know about my middle name?" he muttered.
A blonde girl in a white dress looked around the corner to make sure no one was coming. Then she magically whipped a small blue box with white lettering out of nowhere.
"Orbit: for fresh, clean breath. . .no matter what!"
ok this was really stupid. I'll admit it. I tried to keep with the original evil rat bastard that Albel was before he became the sensitive, lovable rat bastard that we all love near the end. Don't get me wrong-I love Albel dearly; in fact, he was my favorite character in the whole game. And no, I don't REALLY think his middle name is Janice.