Looking around, she takes in the sight of her ruthlessly cleaned apartment, soft music playing in the background in a futile attempt to soothe her frazzled emotions. A few lit candles are scattered about, another failed attempt to relax her. She smells their clean scent, a welcome contrast to the lingering smell of ammonia and bleach, sharp reminders of her cleaning frenzy.
Nothing is out of place. All the clutter has been cleared away. The dust has been attacked and eradicated. Her laundry is done. The dishes have been washed, dried and put away. The floors are clean, counters wiped off, and her refrigerator cleaned out. Her apartment is spotless.
Restless, unsettled, Kate looks around for something else to distract her. But nothing can erase the image burned into her brain from earlier that evening: Castle, arms locked around Natalie Rhodes, lips seared together in a passionate kiss as the elevator doors close.
Shocked, hurt, she stared after them. Heart sinking, she finally admits to herself the emotions that crystallized in that frozen moment in the precinct. She's fallen for him.
She never anticipated this turn of events when she agreed to let Natalie shadow her. She thought it would annoy him – and it did. But then he embraced Natalie's presence – literally!
How was she to know that Natalie's method acting would result in her wanting to seduce Rick? How could he possibly resist Nikki Heat?
Miserable, Kate gets ready for bed, wondering why she can't feel for Josh what she so easily feels for Castle. Even though she's been out on a few dates with Josh, she had reservations from the start. Today proved to Kate once and for all that her heart wasn't free.
Knowing it's time to cut that cord, she reaches for her phone. Quickly scrolling through his text messages, she counts three turned down date requests in the past 2 weeks, and a slew of missed calls. She sees his latest missive asking for another date and makes her decision.
She quickly calls Josh, girding herself for the conversation she's about to have. He answers quickly, a smile in his voice as he greets her. Awkwardly, gently, she lets him know she just wants to be friends. Hearing the resignation in his voice, she knows he could see this coming. With a final goodbye, she hangs up, her shoulders sagging in relief at cutting ties with him.
Moments later, she's back to obsessing over Castle, her brief dalliance with Josh already forgotten. Climbing under the covers, Kate turns out the light, knowing sleep will be elusive. She's been torturing herself with images of Rick and Natalie together all evening.
The worst part of it is that she knows she could have taken Natalie's place in a heartbeat. But she's been too much of a coward to take that step.
Determined to put tonight's scene out of her mind, she focuses instead on that look he gets when it's just the two of them, verbally sparring, a little innuendo thrown in.
She can picture him so clearly. The sparkle in his eyes. The quirk of his brow. The smirk on his face. The feel of his body brushing up against her, or the warmth generated when he places his hand on her back, ushering her towards the elevator. She loves when he leans in towards her. So vivid is the picture in her mind that she can almost smell the subtle scent of his cologne invading her senses. She's had so many opportunities to close the gap between them. To up the ante, so to speak. But she's always held back. Not for the first time, she imagines what would happen if she had the courage to pursue something with him.
Lost in thought, she imagines what it would be like with him. She can almost feel the his body covering hers, his wide hips spreading her legs to make room for him as he presses her into the mattress with the weight of his body. She wonders what he hides beneath those suits. He's such a large man, she can't help but wonder whether he is large everywhere. Her body clenches at the thought of being filled by him, her senses overwhelmed with his presence.
What kind of lover is he? Does he like to take charge? Or be led? Is he tender or fierce? She imagines he is skilled. He pays attention to detail and is very observant. She can't help but wonder how he'd use those skills in a more intimate setting. The thought of being with him causes a trickle of moisture between her legs, her body impossible aroused by her thoughts.
Giving in to temptation, she quickly shucks her sleep shirt and closes her eyes, her hands taking over the familiar task of acting the images in her head, her mind substituting Castle's actions for her own. Naked, she runs her hands up her sides, pausing at her breasts to tease and arouse. Tugging firmly on her tight nipples she feels an answering call deep inside. Slowly, deliberately, she lets one hand trail lower, drawing out the sensations. Wanting to revel in the experience, she closes her eyes, picturing the two of them together. Slowly, gently, she circles her clit, feeling the sensations slowly build. The thought of Rick's hands on her, exploring her curves and hollows, feeling his way around her body causes her breath to hitch. She gently probes her wetness, feeling the slick heat created by her fantasy. Lost in the images, she slowly brings herself to climax, reveling in the sensations rushing through her. Not content with one orgasm, she lets her fingers linger, her practiced actions slowly coaxing a second, more powerful orgasm from her as she becomes so embroiled in the fantasy time slips away as she imagines Castle worshiping her body over and over. She's become so skilled at imagining the two of them together she wonders if it's possible for the reality to come close.
Relaxed for the first time that evening, she drifts to sleep, imagining the two of them entwined, sated.
XXX
"If it's so adorable, why didn't you sleep with me?" she asks, her voice sharper than she intended.
"What?" he asks, clearly taken aback by her question.
Seeing Ryan walk in, she quickly puts her hand over his mouth, cutting off whatever he was going to say. He takes a quick breath, as if he's about to say something, when a subtle, elusive scent hits him in a primal way, causing his body to tighten in arousal. Speechless, he falls silent.
His eyes dilate and his pupils darken. His eyes snap to hers, something feral and aware jumping between them. He quickly glances down at her fingers. She hastily pulls them back, aware that she's touching him in a surprisingly intimate manner.
"Hey Ryan."
Crossing her arms, she turns back to the window and covers her mouth, trying to hide her expression from the two men. Inhaling another breath, she realizes with dawning horror that she can smell herself on her fingers. The subtle tang from her intimate play the night before clings to her skin, having permeated the layers, her morning shower diminishing, but not eradicating, the scent. The expression on Castle's face moments before takes on new meaning.
Could he smell the musky scent of her body when she covered his mouth? Does he know what that scent was? Feeling herself grow moist at the thought, she shifts, taking a quick glance at Castle. He turns away slightly, his hands casually clasped in front of him, trying to hide the distinct bulge in his trousers. Oh my. He's definitely turned on.
"Hey Beckett." Ryan says. "Don't you think it's a little creepy what she's doing? It's like she's obsessed with you or something."
"Um, yeah. I didn't think she'd take it so far." She replies, eyes locked on Castle.
"No kidding. If I were you I'd want her as far away from me as possible." Ryan replies, shuddering a little as he watches her mimic Kate's posture at the murder board.
"You know what? You're right. I need a break. Why don't you take her along with you and Espo while you check out that new lead." Kate suggests.
"Okay. Sure. But if you don't hear back from us in an hour, send back up." He quips, his sense of humor intact.
Watching, she sees Ryan and Esposito diverting Natalie's attention for a moment, before they head to the elevator.
Turning back to Castle, she sees him studying her, an unreadable expression on his face.
"So, Kate…what did you mean, 'why didn't you sleep with me'?"
"Oh. Um. Yeah, that." Taking a deep breath, Kate resolves to stop running. "Well, Natalie mentioned earlier that she tried to take you home with her last night and I was surprised when she said you turned her down. You seemed really into her when you guys were leaving last night."
"You saw that?" He asks, a little squeak in his voice.
"I think the whole precinct saw it Castle. You weren't exactly subtle."
"She took me by surprise. I was simply getting into the elevator to go home and she just attacked me." He explains.
Confused, still a little hurt, Kate blurts out what she really wants to know before she can think better of it, a slight trace of bitterness and jealousy painting her tone despite her best efforts. "That still doesn't explain why you said no. I thought you'd jump at the chance to sleep with Nikki Heat"
Pausing a moment, he considers her carefully for a moment before responding.
"Well, duh." He says, his expression fierce as he looks at her. "I'd jump at the chance to make love with Nikki Heat. But she's not Nikki Heat, Kate. You are."
"Castle -"
"No, Kate. Hear me out. Just once, let me say it."
"Rick—" she looks at him helplessly.
"I want to be with you. In every way possible. I've made no secret of that fact. And when you're ready, I'm here."
Taking her hand in his, he brings it up to his mouth and tenderly kisses her palm. His senses are once again teased by her subtle scent, his body instinctively tightening in response. Her eyes widen, and she shifts slightly closer to him. Taking a chance, spurred on by a force he can't resist, he sucks one of her fingers into his mouth, his tongue circling it gently, mimicking what he'd like to do elsewhere on her body. Her thighs clench as the gentle caress of his lips and tongue pull a response deep insider her, causing her breath to hitch. A slight moan escapes despite her efforts to contain it.
"Rick, I-" swallowing her fear, she gathers her courage. "I want that too." She whispers, the words pulled from her involuntarily.
His eyes widen and his body goes still, as if moving will break the spell they've woven around each other and make her admission disappear. Eyes locked with hers, he searches her expression for a sign that she just said what he thought he heard. Slowly nodding, she pulls her hands from his grasp, dropping them to his waist and pushing him towards the corner where they can't be easily seen in the squad room, before confirming what she said, her voice firmer, more certain. "I want you too, Rick. You have no idea how much."
Unable to stop herself, knowing they might be seen, she throws caution to the wind and closes the gap between them. "Kiss me, Rick." She demands, her voice husky with arousal.